format_quote Originally Posted by
ZDF
Hello,
I have a thing that has been on my mind for a while. Im a muslim boy, 17 years old. I live in the Netherlands, but i am from Turkey. I have a girlfriend here, she is African and she is christian.
So my parents always told me that schoollove is just temporary, and they want me to marry and girl from my own country, because they say thats better and so on. But it has been a year now with my girlfriend, and everything goes fine, but i cant love her 100 %, because i am scared that if we grow up, my parents want me to leave her because she is not from our country. I know that i shouldn't think about stuff like that, because im young, but still, it goes in my mind. I cant just let this girl go. I really feel for her.
I always told my parents that i wouldn't be something serieus between us, but it seems to get serieus...
Also, my girlfriend told me, that if we grow up, and we're still together, and she wants to be with me, she is willing to become muslim. I didnt tell my parents about this because i dont know how they will react. But thats a good thing from her right?
I wanna be able to love her 100 percently, but im just scared that if im gonna love her too much, and then that my parents will break my heart when i grow up, by letting me break up with her. I dont want to hurt my parents, by not listening to them, but i try to find a way to let my parents accept it. Should i just keep loving her, and see what will happen, or something else? I think it's nonsense to only marry a girl from my own country(turkey), but my parents want that.
Thanks in advance!
Assalamualikum Brother.
You are 17 and your hormons are active at thsi age.Whatever you feel for a girl at this age,it is not loev but jsut called "puppy love"
There is no room for any affection before marriage as well as no room for puppy love.
You are too young to think about future.How sure are you that you will be alive the next day.And how sure are you that you will be alive to have a family with her or anyone else?
You do not know the future yet you know death will come.So prepare for your death insetead of thinking about her which will take you to deep hell as this is one kind of Zina.I hope you are aware of it.
I do not blame you as this is the problem with teenagers who easily give in to syaitan.Some how all of us went through this situation at some point of our life.The difference is,how quickly we sincerely repent and get back to the right track.
My advice is,forget her and move on with your life and studies.In Islam,we are not suppose to take non Muslims as our close friend,and do you think it is ok to have a non Muslim as a gf?well of course the question shouldn't arise as the total subject of having girl friend is haram.
As for your parents,they can dream whatever they want,yet they cannot decide your life partner.Allah The Exalted alone decide your life partner.
Just concentrate in your studies,full fill your dreams and your parents dreams.
There are plenty of fish out there. I am sure if not 4 at least one will be yours :) In sha Allah
Assalamualikum