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-Fallen Angel-
04-09-2010, 05:44 PM
Alright i'll keep this short, don't wanna wring an essay :p
First off, my father has married again so that's a pretty big shock to me at the moment, i've been hearing it for months but it turned out true he admitted it... secondly there were talks going on about my wedding (with this sister) and now i find out she's been married already just recently and i wasn't told (we've known each other for a while now).. so i'm having a tough time , would appreciate some advice on how to "calm down" :p... or whatever you want to think of it as.. (aside from prayer and such)

JazakAllah in advance :)
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Ummu Sufyaan
04-10-2010, 03:56 AM
:sl:
one word: Qadr.
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Insecured soul
04-10-2010, 04:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by UnhappyD:
so i'm having a tough time , would appreciate some advice on how to "calm down" :p... or whatever you want to think of it as.. (aside from prayer and such)

JazakAllah in advance :)
Apart from prayers what else we are left with? prayers and dua are a mumin's tools to get peace and tranquility

do a lot sincere ibadah with ikhlaas and know whatever happens is destiny qadr and allah will help u insha allah
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CosmicPathos
04-10-2010, 05:51 AM
I think there is nothing wrong with your father's second marriage. Its Islamic.

regarding your issue, its a matter of qadr. Everything has been written down. We have to be happy with what has been written down. Easier said than done. But that is the only solution: either accept God's Decree or rebel against Him by denying His Qadr and by getting angry at Him. We as Muslims take the former approach.
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Mr.President
04-10-2010, 05:58 AM
Do you like that sister ? Is she islamic ?
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-Fallen Angel-
04-10-2010, 08:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist
I think there is nothing wrong with your father's second marriage. Its Islamic.

regarding your issue, its a matter of qadr. Everything has been written down. We have to be happy with what has been written down. Easier said than done. But that is the only solution: either accept God's Decree or rebel against Him by denying His Qadr and by getting angry at Him. We as Muslims take the former approach.
Actully it's pretty "Fake". My his other children (previous marriages) faked some stuff and wrote "in word" that she's giving him permission to get married and all that and we had no knowledge of this. Then when i spoke to him he said he got married because he has "no one to take care of him". :raging:
format_quote Originally Posted by Mr.President
Do you like that sister ? Is she islamic ?
yes and yes imsad
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gladTidings
04-10-2010, 10:18 AM
It could have been worse ?
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zakknight1
04-10-2010, 10:25 AM
Ask allah for strenght and remember
(Pray:) ''Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; our Lord! lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith.'' [ Al-Baqarah, 2:286]
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marwen
04-10-2010, 11:30 AM
don't forget your prayer. that's said,
Now try to forget that sister, never think about her again : it's over now. And forget about anything related to marriage for some days.
Try to make a voyage or something to get out the place you're in for a while.
Try to pass more time with friends, you know hang out, play football, but with good friends. (that's what I do some times when I feel upset)
Fill your time with good/beneficient activities.

May Allah bring joy and happiness to your heart brother !
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Innocent Soul
04-10-2010, 12:36 PM
Walikeumassalam
You cant do anything abt ur dad's marriage but u can do sumthing abt ur own. u better try to know the girl well and the reasone she divorced her former husband. And if you still dont want to marry her try to create an evil image of urs in her mind and make the girl refuse you....
i kno maybe it sounds silly but..... u can try.
Any ways if you dont want the wedding y dont u directly say it to ur father who has fixed the marriage?
I hope i was of some help....
Jazakallah.
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Innocent Soul
04-10-2010, 12:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by UnhappyD:
Actully it's pretty "Fake". My his other children (previous marriages) faked some stuff and wrote "in word" that she's giving him permission to get married and all that and we had no knowledge of this. Then when i spoke to him he said he got married because he has "no one to take care of him". :raging:
yes and yes imsad
If you like that sister and she is islamic too then whats the matter regarding ur dad's case there is nothing wrong in getting married again becoz he knows one day u too will get married and may be you will not be able to take care of him as much as his new wife can....
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Mr.President
04-10-2010, 02:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Safiya 1
Walikeumassalam
You cant do anything abt ur dad's marriage but u can do sumthing abt ur own. u better try to know the girl well and the reasone she divorced her former husband. And if you still dont want to marry her try to create an evil image of urs in her mind and make the girl refuse you....
i kno maybe it sounds silly but..... u can try.
Any ways if you dont want the wedding y dont u directly say it to ur father who has fixed the marriage?
I hope i was of some help....
Jazakallah.
No need to create evil image .... DID SHE TELL U THAT SHE IS ALREADY MARRIED AND DIVORCED

:PS:
Still I din get u UNHAPPYD:
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-Fallen Angel-
04-10-2010, 02:09 PM
Um.. i think you guys got confused lol.. i meant that her parents got her married AFTER they told me we could get married (basically they lied)..
doesn't matter now i was just a bit pissed off yesterday but it's alright now, thanks guys :)
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Mr.President
04-10-2010, 02:12 PM
yeaa... got confused as I thought like safiya and wondered that u married a girl who is already married :confused: !!! lol
but now all ok isnt it

Happy to see some lol's in ur post masha allah
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happy
04-10-2010, 02:12 PM
Did you ever think that your dad might need married? to be honest you might think oh he doesn't need to married but maybe he need the marriage so go easy with him and this sis forget about her cuz it was never meant to be.From now try to forget and busy with yourself with some useful staff.
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Mr.President
04-10-2010, 02:14 PM
yea get busy
don't spend time alone
hang with good friends !

and

choose another girl who is more islamic who knows arabic who studied fiquh who practices what she has studied and marry her soon
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Hamza Asadullah
04-10-2010, 04:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by UnhappyD:
Alright i'll keep this short, don't wanna wring an essay :p
First off, my father has married again so that's a pretty big shock to me at the moment, i've been hearing it for months but it turned out true he admitted it... secondly there were talks going on about my wedding (with this sister) and now i find out she's been married already just recently and i wasn't told (we've known each other for a while now).. so i'm having a tough time , would appreciate some advice on how to "calm down" :p... or whatever you want to think of it as.. (aside from prayer and such)

JazakAllah in advance :)
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallahu Khayran for sharing this with us brother. First of all my brother Allah has created us to have partners and without a partner in our lives then life can become difficult in many ways. Therefore you should be happy for him that he has found a partner that he can spend the rest of his life with and be happy with. If you were in the same position then you would also do the same so think of it if you were in his position. Support your father and be the best towards him as we ony have our parents once and once they are gone we will regret it FOREVER for not being the best towards them. We can gain great rewards for treating our parents the best. So show him your support and be the best towards him.

In regards to the girl who is married then know that it is a good thing because you will have a much better partner inshallah. Things in life happen for a reason and we as humans know not of the reasons why things happen but know that it is for the best. Maybe you would have married her and had a miserable time and the marriage may have ended in divorce. She was never meant for you so you should accept this as your destiny and it is the best thing for you that it never happened.

Therefore thank Allah and make efforts to find a pious and practising wife and also do things the right way do not get to know her without mahrams present as you would be taking away blessings from the marriage that way. So do things the right way, make effort to find a pious practising partner and make dua to Allah to also find you one and inshallah whatever is best will happen for you.

and Allah knows best in all matters
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