PDA

View Full Version : Intermingling of Ghair Mahrams on IB, Allowed?



Masuma
04-11-2010, 07:32 PM
:sl:

People look, what brother “imam bukhari” is saying here in his SIGNATURES! :laugh:

I’ve written the text below so that if he changes his signature later on, you people may know what I’m talking about.


"Free mixing is haram. I would appreciate it if no ghair mahrams speak to me on this forum, Jazaakillaah".



So are we doing the same here, on Islamic Board?
Are we committing a sin?
On this forum, we obviously don’t “talk” but we reply to other people’s posts. So is this also not allowed? How can we know whether it’s right or wrong?

Brother “imam bukhari” has said nothing! Its just me, :( , thinking about it, which makes me almost want to puke! +o(


So should we quit going to the combined forums?
Well, we, Muslimahs, can post our threads in Sisters’ Section only! But…:'(… Annnhainhain!... I don’t have even have that option! I’ve just made a century and require two more for entrance but that would take me a century in itself! :unhappy:

(…ummm…or maybe I can play the *** Urdu Game *** and make a quick jump to 300 posts if only brother zAk won’t strangle me or block me out…:hmm: ! )

But that’s not what I care about right now. I only want to know whether we are DISOBEYING our beloved Prophet:saws1: ???




Please help me brothers and sisters! This is serious!!! :yawn:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
جوري
04-11-2010, 07:42 PM
I'd imagine if women didn't 'talk' to men we'd have been extinct sometime back in the 7th c.?

:w:
Reply

CosmicPathos
04-11-2010, 07:49 PM
^^ :p
what does intermingling of opposite sexes mean ... its become a vague notion ...
Reply

Masuma
04-11-2010, 07:55 PM
Originally Posted by mad_scientist
^^ :p
what does intermingling of opposite sexes mean ... its become a vague notion ...
I don't know.......:yawn: Just give the reply brother! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Masuma
04-11-2010, 07:57 PM
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
I'd imagine if women didn't 'talk' to men we'd have been extinct sometime back in the 7th c.?

:w:
Hmmmmmm.... so you mean to say that its alright then to be here? :yawn:
Reply

جوري
04-11-2010, 07:59 PM
It depends on the definition of the individual I think? Islam wasn't a segregated society, women spoke up, they have even challenged their leaders.. in my opinion if you are afraid of fitnah then you should indeed avoid it.. but that becomes even more strange on a forum when anyone can be anything from an android to a fauna to a computer generated response to this guy:



:w:
Reply

Masuma
04-11-2010, 08:03 PM
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
in my opinion if you are afraid of fitnah then you should indeed avoid it.. but that becomes even more strange on a forum when anyone can be anything from an android to a fauna to a computer generated response to this guy:
Yeah that seems right!...imsad
Reply

Imaan
04-11-2010, 08:43 PM
Originally Posted by An33za
I don't know.......:yawn: Just give the reply brother! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Yeah sister, this is also wat my Dad believes. He is an Aalim. He says boys n girls should not talk in anyway. I'm sure u've seen I hardly post now a days, n if I do, I just post but don't reply to the brothers post if no need arises. I'm also beginning to agree with this, especially at times when it gets a bit personal. Also nothing too personal should be known about woman, 4 hijaab reasons, sumtimes young girls put the age, status etc on profiles.. along with personal messages in between posts. :exhausted

I think we should do something about this, maybe when a brother posts something we sisters should just view it but don't reply, unless its serious and gonna damage someone or cause and explosion LOL ;D. And the brothers should do the same, don't reply on any of our posts. Wat do u think about this??????? :hmm:

My Dad believes there's also no need to post on forums, should get the info through a different way....... hmmmm, one that I must challenge him with still. :nervous:
Reply

piXie
04-11-2010, 08:56 PM
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
.. but that becomes even more strange on a forum when anyone can be anything from an android to a fauna to a computer generated response
lol this made me laugh. Such alarming truth. Are u a real person skye? Wondering now. :p

Btw this topic was discussed before in detail. If someone would be kind and link the sister to the threads.... I must get back to work. :D
Reply

Supreme
04-11-2010, 09:00 PM
What the heck is a Ghair Mahram?
Reply

islamirama
04-11-2010, 09:08 PM
Ghair Mahram is another way of saying Non-mahrams, meaning those males not kin of a female person.
Reply

cat eyes
04-11-2010, 09:38 PM
i would only pm a brother if it was a case of necessity so i think we should respect the brother and try and avoid talking about him on his back sis because it is a form of backbiting and we should not judge others inshaAllah

i think if brothers and sisters want to chat with the opposite sex in private then its wrong and it always leads to something else. it is a fitnah and a sin so keep away from it.
Reply

cat eyes
04-11-2010, 09:42 PM
sorry forget to add... posting on a forum you are not really mingling with opposite sex because you are not speaking directly to them and if you are 100 percent of the time it is only for help or other matters
Reply

Banu_Hashim
04-11-2010, 09:43 PM
Salamu Alaikum,

An interesting point raised. Personally, I think any interaction between opposite genders on this forum should be curt and to the point to avoid any fitnah and if these precautions are taken then I don't see a problem. And also that's why we have such good mods! If a topic gets off topic then they can remind us nicely to get back on (topic)!

If you feel it is safer for you to avoid interaction on this forum alltogether with the opposite gender, then there is no problem in that either! As long as our intention is to share our ideas and knowledge everthing should be A-OK.

waAllahu 'Alam.

Fee Amaanillah.
Reply

cat eyes
04-11-2010, 09:55 PM
Allah has said that we should keep away from all those things that lead to evil and as much as we hate to hear the truth that includes sister and brother getting friendly in private.
Reply

Banu_Hashim
04-11-2010, 09:55 PM
Additionally, according to the scholars of 'Islam Q&A' this is what constitutes backbiting:

"When I say, “which he would dislike if he heard about it”, this excludes things which he would not mind."

"In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated from al-‘Alaa’ ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan from his father from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah is?” They said, “Allaah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “That you say something about your brother that he dislikes.” He was asked, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have gossiped about him, and if it is not true then you have slandered him.”

Have we said anything that the brother would not have liked? I don't think so. On the contrary, looks like most people agree with him!

waAllahu 'Alam.
Reply

piXie
04-11-2010, 09:55 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes
i would only pm a brother if it was a case of necessity so i think we should respect the brother and try and avoid talking about him on his back sis because it is a form of backbiting and we should not judge others inshaAllah
May Allaah reward you with a lot of good and blessings sister. But I think u have misunderstood. No one is judging anyone here or backbiting at all. We all respect the brother for his signature. It is good and he should keep it.

The sister was just concerned about the ruling and wanted to understand, so she could perfect herself in following Allaahs command and the example of the Prophet :arabic5:. This is a good thing masha' Allaah, and I respect her for it. Her thread has also served as a good reminder.
Reply

Banu_Hashim
04-11-2010, 09:56 PM
A brother and sister getting frivolous in private is against the teachings of Islam, agreed.
Reply

cat eyes
04-11-2010, 10:01 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
May Allaah reward you with a lot of good and blessings sister. But I think u have misunderstood. No one is judging anyone here or backbiting at all. We all respect the brother for his signature. It is good and he should keep it.

The sister was just concerned about the ruling and wanted to understand, so she could perfect herself in following Allaahs command and the example of the Prophet :arabic5:. This is a good thing masha' Allaah, and I respect her for it. Her thread has also served as a good reminder.
jazakAllah kharian sis for your kind words :)

okay no problem your right it has served as a good reminder.

MY Apologies dear op sis meow meow :p
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
04-11-2010, 10:57 PM
Originally Posted by An33za
:sl:

People look, what brother “imam bukhari” is saying here in his SIGNATURES! :laugh:

I’ve written the text below so that if he changes his signature later on, you people may know what I’m talking about.


"Free mixing is haram. I would appreciate it if no ghair mahrams speak to me on this forum, Jazaakillaah".



So are we doing the same here, on Islamic Board?
Are we committing a sin?
On this forum, we obviously don’t “talk” but we reply to other people’s posts. So is this also not allowed? How can we know whether it’s right or wrong?

Brother “imam bukhari” has said nothing! Its just me, :( , thinking about it, which makes me almost want to puke! +o(


So should we quit going to the combined forums?
Well, we, Muslimahs, can post our threads in Sisters’ Section only! But…:'(… Annnhainhain!... I don’t have even have that option! I’ve just made a century and require two more for entrance but that would take me a century in itself! :unhappy:

(…ummm…or maybe I can play the *** Urdu Game *** and make a quick jump to 300 posts if only brother zAk won’t strangle me or block me out…:hmm: ! )

But that’s not what I care about right now. I only want to know whether we are DISOBEYING our beloved Prophet:saws1: ???




Please help me brothers and sisters! This is serious!!! :yawn:
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, having concern for ones imaan is a sign of faith and is a good thing. We should all fear sinning incase it angers Allah for that is taqwa.

In regards to intermingling then know that there must not be any free talk between brothers and sister in real life or on the internet including on any threads on a forum. These forums are public and therefore all can see what is being posted therefore it would not come under being alone with a non mahram but when brothers and sisters are posting then they should only stick to the point of discussion and keep things to the subject matter and not joke around with each other or get free with each other.

Brothers and sisters should especially be very cautious about sending private messeges to each other as private messages should ONLY be sent if it is really necessery or to ask a genuine Islamic question and it should not go any further than the subject in hand.

Brothers and sisters should also not private message one another other joking around with each other and should certainly NOT private message having free conversations "getting to know one another" as shaythan would be third party to such conversations.

As long as brothers and sisters are very careful and stick to the subject matter of the threads they are partaking in and do not get free with anyone of the opposite sex or private message them unnecessarily then inshallah everything will be fine.

But caution should always be taken as Shaythan is always to play his evil hands in every aspect of our lives and will always try and trick us into committing sin in anyway that he can even without us noticing at times so always be cautious and stick to the subject matter and never make a free conversation with anyone of the opposite sex.

and Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

-Elle-
04-11-2010, 11:18 PM
Originally Posted by Banu_Hashim
As long as our intention is to share our ideas and knowledge everthing should be A-OK.
Oh you beat me to it, that's what I was going to say; but agreed nevertheless :)

Precautions should be taken as mentioned by other, but Your intentions are really what makes the difference, and to your own self, they are undeniable.
Reply

Masuma
04-12-2010, 01:25 AM
Asalamu Alikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatuh!

Thank you all, my dear brothers and sisters for your help!:statisfie I've made my decision! May Allah bless you all and reward you all !

Allahafiz!
Reply

tigerkhan
04-12-2010, 05:59 AM
Originally Posted by Imaan
Yeah sister, this is also wat my Dad believes. He is an Aalim. He says boys n girls should not talk in anyway. I'm sure u've seen I hardly post now a days, n if I do, I just post but don't reply to the brothers post if no need arises. I'm also beginning to agree with this, especially at times when it gets a bit personal. Also nothing too personal should be known about woman, 4 hijaab reasons, sumtimes young girls put the age, status etc on profiles.. along with personal messages in between posts. :exhausted

I think we should do something about this, maybe when a brother posts something we sisters should just view it but don't reply, unless its serious and gonna damage someone or cause and explosion LOL ;D. And the brothers should do the same, don't reply on any of our posts. Wat do u think about this??????? :hmm:

My Dad believes there's also no need to post on forums, should get the info through a different way....... hmmmm, one that I must challenge him with still. :nervous:
Asalamalikum
Agreed with...
i am not clear whether to post/reply or not.....but i think, post in very limited circumtance where intense need and should not be personal....even me very diffuclty complete my 50 post but i think i will not post more...but v.less where intense need.... bcz very honestly speaking i am not much attracted/affected/impressed by oposite sex, but on day on one forum i read a post by a girl and she say she had to face a court case and maybe she will be imprisined, what Amal she will do....blv i feel much sympathy for her...i feel curious to know what she had done wrong.... but i think i will not ask her as its going to be personal....so even i dont reply that post....but i dont know what had done with her...... i never see her post after that....i fear maybe......bcz bly just for GOD sake i have sympathy for all muslims bro and sis. some days sometime i think about her and i pray may ALLAH SWT safe her from any mishap...but by this i think i should not post more and dont spent much time on this forum.....
so one solution i suggest for that issue is dont be personal..
2ndly dont show ur sex...
3rdly post less where its needs badly.
JZK
Reply

Duhaa786M
04-12-2010, 06:54 AM
Originally Posted by Imaan
Yeah sister, this is also wat my Dad believes. He is an Aalim. He says boys n girls should not talk in anyway. I'm sure u've seen I hardly post now a days, n if I do, I just post but don't reply to the brothers post if no need arises. I'm also beginning to agree with this, especially at times when it gets a bit personal. Also nothing too personal should be known about woman, 4 hijaab reasons, sumtimes young girls put the age, status etc on profiles.. along with personal messages in between posts. :exhausted

I think we should do something about this, maybe when a brother posts something we sisters should just view it but don't reply, unless its serious and gonna damage someone or cause and explosion LOL ;D. And the brothers should do the same, don't reply on any of our posts. Wat do u think about this??????? :hmm:

My Dad believes there's also no need to post on forums, should get the info through a different way....... hmmmm, one that I must challenge him with still. :nervous:

I must say I fully agree with you 100%... I think we should have seperated this forum... (big deal) :hmm: for males and females, but each other can see all the threads but females can 'ONLY' post for females and males 'ONLY' for males... Don't think so??? :hmm: Can't we add a poll here?:p
Reply

Sarahd
04-12-2010, 06:56 AM
Originally Posted by Imaan
I'm sure u've seen I hardly post now a days, n if I do, I just post but don't reply to the brothers post if no need arises. I'm also beginning to agree with this, especially at times when it gets a bit personal.
maybe when a brother posts something we sisters should just view it but don't reply, unless its serious and gonna damage someone or cause and explosion LOL ;D. And the brothers should do the same, don't reply on any of our posts. Wat do u think about this??????? :hmm:
. :nervous:
:sl:
hey imaan me too, u see i hardly ever reply to those threads opened by males, im beginning to think the same way like u;D good thing though:shade: and i guess ur idea's great though i dont know if anyone's thinking the same???:hmm:
:wa:
Reply

marwen
04-12-2010, 08:47 AM
Originally Posted by Hamza81
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, having concern for ones imaan is a sign of faith and is a good thing. We should all fear sinning incase it angers Allah for that is taqwa.

In regards to intermingling then know that there must not be any free talk between brothers and sister in real life or on the internet including on any threads on a forum. These forums are public and therefore all can see what is being posted therefore it would not come under being alone with a non mahram but when brothers and sisters are posting then they should only stick to the point of discussion and keep things to the subject matter and not joke around with each other or get free with each other.

Brothers and sisters should especially be very cautious about sending private messeges to each other as private messages should ONLY be sent if it is really necessery or to ask a genuine Islamic question and it should not go any further than the subject in hand.

Brothers and sisters should also not private message one another other joking around with each other and should certainly NOT private message having free conversations "getting to know one another" as shaythan would be third party to such conversations.

As long as brothers and sisters are very careful and stick to the subject matter of the threads they are partaking in and do not get free with anyone of the opposite sex or private message them unnecessarily then inshallah everything will be fine.

But caution should always be taken as Shaythan is always to play his evil hands in every aspect of our lives and will always try and trick us into committing sin in anyway that he can even without us noticing at times so always be cautious and stick to the subject matter and never make a free conversation with anyone of the opposite sex.

and Allah knows best in all matters
I think this is the right answer. Jazak Allaho Khayran Brother Hamza !
Reply

ardianto
04-12-2010, 01:58 PM
Originally Posted by An33za


"Free mixing is haram. I would appreciate it if no ghair mahrams speak to me on this forum, Jazaakillaah".
Read again brother Imam Bukhari signature.
He said "I would appreciate if no ghair mahrams speak to me on this forum". He didn't say "if no sister speak to brother on this forum".
It is means he respect to other members who hold opinion if speak to opposite gender on open forum like this is not forbidden. So, if he respect to us why don't we respect to him ?.

And how can we talk to opposite gender on this forum ?. Read a post from brother Hamza.
Reply

cat eyes
04-12-2010, 02:18 PM
:sl:
Sister here is a fatwa from islam Q/A

i think its best we all see what the scholar says on the matter in case members start making there own desirable opinions on it


Men and women talking in chat rooms
I am a sister, who usually logs in to Paltalk and then goes to the Islamic rooms so that I may gain some knowledge related to our religion. Sometimes while I am in one of those Islamic rooms in Paltalk,a muslim brother(looking for a wife) in the room asks me to have a private written chat with him so that we get to know one another. Some of the questions he asks me are: where i live, my age, whether i am married(by the way I am not married), if I am planning to get marry, whether I live with my parents, and so on. My problem is, I don't know whether I am allowed(Islamicly) to give non-muharim brother those kinds of informations which related to me.
Is it really SIN to talk to a brother in writing ??.

Praise be to Allaah.
There is nothing wrong with a Muslim woman making use of the internet and entering the Paltalk website for that purpose, so long as that does not lead to anything that is forbidden in Islam, such as talking privately with men. That is because talking to men may turn into chat which usually leads temptation. Hence it is essential to be strict and avoid that, seeking the pleasure of Allaah and fearing His punishment.

How often have these conversations lead to bad results, and even caused people to fall in love, and have led some to do things that are even more serious than that. The Shaytaan makes each of them imagine attractive qualities in other, which leads them to develop an attachment that detrimental to their spiritual welfare and worldly affairs.

Sharee’ah blocks all the ways that may lead to fitnah (temptation, trial), hence it forbids softness of speech and does not allow a man to be alone with a non-mahram woman. Undoubtedly these private chats are not regarded as khulwah in the sense that he people involved cannot see one another, but they are one of the greatest causes of fitnah as is well known.

What has happened to you is the best testimonial to the truth of what we are saying, because it is difficult for a man to ask these personal questions of a believing woman, unless he uses these means that are being used in a bad way.

Fear Allaah, and do not speak to non-mahram men. This is safer for your religious commitment and purer for your heart. You should note that marriage to a righteous man is a blessing from Allaah, and a blessing cannot be acquired by means of sin.

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love?

He replied:

It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray.

Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it, even though the questioner says that this correspondence is free from immorality and love.

From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96.

Undoubtedly correspondence via chat rooms is more dangerous than correspondence by mail, but both are bad.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q/A

All Rights Reserved for IslamQA© 1997-2010 : 99.63
:wa::wa:
Reply

cat eyes
04-12-2010, 02:39 PM
heres another fatwa


Fatwa No. : 133626
Fatwa Title : Refuting the claim that chatting between women and non-Mahram men is lawful
Fatwa Date : 07 Rabee' Al-Aakhir 1431 / 23-03-2010
Question
asssalm o alikum i had read your fatwa. please tell me in short you were saying that chat is not allowed? and messeging, email exchange is not allowed? one of my friend is saying that it is allowed because no one can see you face and cant listen your voice. so i have to decided that i will give her prove that this not allowed in islam. please reply me. jazakALLAH

Fatwa


All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

What we mean in fact is that chatting between men and non-Mahram women is forbidden in Islam as well as exchanging messages between them. The only exception that is made to this rule is when there is a necessity or a dire need and provided that the Sharee’ah regulations for chatting between man and woman are met, like her not being in seclusion with him or speaking to him in a soft and attractive voice. The Sharee’ah came to block the means to evil, and it is for this reason that it forbade all means of temptation between men and women;


Allaah Says (what means): {O, you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of the devil. And whosoever follows the footsteps of the devil, then, verily he commands Al-Fahsha' [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.)] and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds, to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam, etc.)}[Quran 24:21]


Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: "The child of Aadam’s share of Zina (adultery or fornication) has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably commit it. The Zina of the eyes is looking (at forbidden things), the Zina of the ears is by listening, the Zina of the tongue is by talking, the Zina of the hands is by touching, the Zina of the foot is by walking [towards immorality], and the heart desires and wishes. Then, the private parts may affirm or deny (i.e. may or may not put that into effect)." [Muslim]


On the other hand, we do not know from where your friend got the evidence that it is a condition for chatting between a man and a non-Mahram woman to be forbidden that they see each other or hear each other, rather, the reality proves that chatting is one of the reasons of temptation especially if there is no necessity or need for it.


For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 84079, 84874, 81671 and 84402.
Allaah Knows best.
Fatwa answered by: The Fatwa Center at Islamweb





Fatwa No.
Question No.






All rights reserved to IslamWeb©. 1998-2010
Reply

aadil77
04-12-2010, 04:25 PM
I can't imagine fitnah occuring on a forum, unless its through pm's, its weird cause the person you're talkin might even be the same gender as you lol , you won't know much about each other for sure
Reply

جوري
04-12-2010, 06:42 PM
Originally Posted by tigerkhan
Asalamalikum
Agreed with...
i am not clear whether to post/reply or not.....but i think, post in very limited circumtance where intense need and should not be personal....even me very diffuclty complete my 50 post but i think i will not post more...but v.less where intense need.... bcz very honestly speaking i am not much attracted/affected/impressed by oposite sex, but on day on one forum i read a post by a girl and she say she had to face a court case and maybe she will be imprisined, what Amal she will do....blv i feel much sympathy for her...i feel curious to know what she had done wrong.... but i think i will not ask her as its going to be personal....so even i dont reply that post....but i dont know what had done with her...... i never see her post after that....i fear maybe......bcz bly just for GOD sake i have sympathy for all muslims bro and sis. some days sometime i think about her and i pray may ALLAH SWT safe her from any mishap...but by this i think i should not post more and dont spent much time on this forum.....
so one solution i suggest for that issue is dont be personal..
2ndly dont show ur sex...
3rdly post less where its needs badly.
JZK
You'll be happy to know that Allah swt answered our prayers and saved our sister from harm by his leave insha'Allah

:w:
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!