Marriage Problem!

[Bilalus]

Assallaamu alaykum

I have a HUGE problem on my hands, and i'd appreciate whatever help I can get!
Here is my situation:

Me and this girl really like each other, and we have spoken about marriage. We would like to proceed with it as soon as possible, however, there are many obstacles preventing it from happening:

1.) I am sunni and she is shia. We have both agreed that if we cannot come to a common ground when discussing the differences in our beliefs, there isn't a hope of this potential marriage working out.

2.) Her mother is EXTREMELY against non-iraqis, and as you've guessed, that is exactly what I am.

Is there any hadith or Qur'anic statements that promote inter-racial marriage, or any that condone nationalism or state about discrimination against ones nationality for marriage is not good/haram? I want to be equipped with enough islamic knowledge on this matter so when I do confront her (which will be soon inshallah) to propose, I can at least try to convince her that inter-racial marriages are nothing to be afraid of, with the backing of hadith/Qur'an.

Help would be much appreciated!

JZK

[GuCcI]

I would strongly advise against marrying shia (12'er?), it can be very problematic when raising children... conflicting issues and such.

Try and iron that out before going to her mom.

[Bilalus]

I would strongly advise against marrying shia (12'er?), it can be very problematic when raising children... conflicting issues and such.

Try and iron that out before going to her mom.

yeah that is true, what we both had in mind, is discussing our differences and see where we stand, and just give dawah to each other and see what happens. Alhamdulillah she is someone who seeks the truth than blindly follows what she has been taught. I have already changed some of her beliefs, such as prayer etc. So when I do confront her mum, it will be at a point where i am comfortable with what she believes and know it will not have an impact on our future family in a negative way

[GuCcI]

Right, good plan, I would make sure there is agreement on the huge issues such as... you wouldn't want while you're teaching your children about sahaba on one hand for your partner to be slandering them, you know? It's very worrying, so find common ground on that.

Her mom sure wont be happy :exhausted

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[Insecured soul]

I would strongly advise against marrying shia (12'er?), it can be very problematic when raising children... conflicting issues and such.

Try and iron that out before going to her mom.

What is 12'er anyway?

[GuCcI]

Belief in the infallibility of their 12 imams i think family of the Prophet (saw), something along those lines

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
i advise you to just leave it. even if she is willing to accept sunnism, then you still have her mum who is against this.

[CosmicPathos]

Well my friend's father is a Sunni and his mother a Pakistani-Persian Shii. Well, they left upto the children to accept whatever they want. My friend is religionless these days, as youd have imagined. hes searching for the truth and I hope Allah guides him. His younger brother seems to be a bit more on right path as he chose Sunni Islam. But ive heard he did that because of his fiance. Whatever the reason, as long as the intention was to please Allah, it should be fine.

Regarding interacial marriages, they are not haram per se. But Islam allows us to use logic and rationality. It is logically possible that such an interacial marriage between and Iraqi and yourself might not work out because of different world views, different modes of thinking and what not. If you think that such logical problems might not arise even though you have very different backgrounds then there is no problem marrying her provided she believes in Islam of Muhammad pbuh.

[Masuma]

Assallaamu alaykum

I have a HUGE problem on my hands, and i'd appreciate whatever help I can get!
Here is my situation:

Me and this girl really like each other, and we have spoken about marriage. We would like to proceed with it as soon as possible, however, there are many obstacles preventing it from happening:

1.) I am sunni and she is shia. We have both agreed that if we cannot come to a common ground when discussing the differences in our beliefs, there isn't a hope of this potential marriage working out.

2.) Her mother is EXTREMELY against non-iraqis, and as you've guessed, that is exactly what I am.

Is there any hadith or Qur'anic statements that promote inter-racial marriage, or any that condone nationalism or state about discrimination against ones nationality for marriage is not good/haram? I want to be equipped with enough islamic knowledge on this matter so when I do confront her (which will be soon inshallah) to propose, I can at least try to convince her that inter-racial marriages are nothing to be afraid of, with the backing of hadith/Qur'an.

Help would be much appreciated!

JZK

Asalamu alikum Wa rehmatullahi Wa Barakatuh!

Dear brother,
There is nothing like Sunii or Shia in Islam but of course in our un-islamic society, these sects are present. I too recommend you to leave her as her beliefs are so different than us. Some Shias prefer Hazrat Ali (r.a) on Prophet Muhammad:arabic5:! :raging:

But if you think you can turn her towards the "Right Way" then go for it. And I know many events in which Muslim women married men from very different nationalities or even with very different social status! At the time of beloved Prophet, one Muslim woman who was extremely beautiful and rich, married a black, poor Muslim slave! Now what can be a bigger example of equality than this?!

But brother, look, you might change her but you can't change the whole of her family. So you people will always face problems afterwards! But if you really love her and can't leave her, then I don't know any solution! May Allah help you dear brother!imsad

[brotherubaid]

I had a really good friend , a local brother from UAE , when he got maried he wasnt a very practising muslim and went and married a shia girl , aat the time he didnt even care or know much , but Allah guidd him to the sunnah and thats when he truly started to see how big n huge the diffences are , but with time n i mean WITH TIME in a few years of him becomming reigiously commited n practising his wife completely not only became sunni but also now knows shiasm inside out n can refute their each n every claim , and she is very strong on tawheed n sunnah AlhumdolILlah , but ye sthe process was long and her family was not helpful at all , they are still each n every chance they get trying to change her mind n to create problems n create doubts in her heart , but AlhumdolIllah , the beautiful thing about the truth is that when u understand it n get it u wont give it up for the world.

Ut yes it took time , n LOTS of patience n dawah n good manners n respect from my friend , he was very nice to her very patient , very respctful , and also the wifes of our other friends helped his wife , also books like those of Ehsn Elyahi zaheer n others who have great contributions in refuting shiasm helped and their audio cds n cassettes n our noble sheikh like ubaid al jabiree n rabi bin hadee n sheikh salih al suhanimee n waseullah abbas kept giving the brother good advise n asking him to be patient n not to divorce her n to be nice to her n keep giving her the evidence from quran n sunnah n to be a good listener so with help from Allah , n after Allah with books n cassets n our nobel shuyokh n even the wifes of our other friends she is now on the way of Ahuls sunnah wal jammah.


But bro WHY were yo talking to her any way , why did u get to knw her n have any sort of relation with her , keep your faith in Allah , The blessings of Allah are not sought by doing what he has forbidden nor is the barakah n khair achieved by haram, so may be you should have not got into tis coz it was haram in the forst place.

[Cabdullahi]

plenty more sisters who are not from families that are racist......so just leave this shiite one

[Banu_Hashim]

Bro, I wouldn't marry a shi'aa if I were you. They have corrupted beliefs and do you really want your kids growing up cursing the Sahaaba? A3uthubillah. Your idea of convincing her mother on the racial side of things is futile if you ask me. They only really accept what their "ayatollahs" say. They throw everything else i.e. ahadith out the window. They'll use taqqiya to try and convince you otherwise. You don't even wanna know what they say about Abu Hurairah (radhi Allahu anhum).

Iraqi shiaas are the worst haters out of all of them. I have experience in this- there's loads at my university. They label all sunnis as a "wahaabi". And the worst thing is (at my uni that is) is that they're mostly females so you can't exactly do anything. SubhaanAllah, the President of the 'Ahlul Bayt Society' (which is their Shiaa society) is a female!

I have a friend who was involved in a similar situation. Alhamdulillah he managed to get out with a lot of encouragement from from me and other brothers. Trust me, it's better if you forget her. Remember, religion is your priority. This may even be lust what your feeling right now.

Allahu 'Alam.

Fee Amaanillah.

[جوري]

well I disagree with many here.. is there a better reward for someone save bringing someone from the darkness into the light, the reward for that is Jannah.. and indeed in Islam there is no difference between and Arab over a non-Arab save for piety..

yes there are plenty of 'fish in the sea' but she is the fish he wants so why tell him to throw her back in there and fish something else out? sob7an Allah

Questioner

Ahmad

Title

An Arab Marrying a Non-Arab: Any Problem?

Question

Respected scholars, as-salamu`alaykum.

What does Islam say about a non-Arab marrying an Arab or vice versa? It seems that culture has dominated Muslims' minds to the point that some imams even say an Arab should marry an Arab because they understand each other's cultures better. How about two from different cultures and they are both respectful of each other's culture, is their marriage disliked in this case?

Jazakum Allahu Khayran.

Date

29/Jul/2009

Name of Mufti

Zienab Mostafa

Topic

Family, Marriage

Answer

Wa `alaykum as-salamu warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. Dear brother in Islam, thanks for your question. May Allah bless those who seek knowledge to clear misunderstanding.

It is true that customs and traditions differ from one society to another. However, Islam constitutes a bond that unites all Muslims. The spirit of brotherhood and collective submission to Allah and His injunctions, if truly practiced and faithfully observed, are sure enough to eradicate such differences. When a dispute erupts owing to the difference in customs and cultural backgrounds, it should be settled according to the rulings of the Shari`ah. Once the Shari`ah decides the matter, none should feel unease or claim arrogant superiority.
Answering this question, Zienab Mostafa, a prominent Muslim Scholar and Da`iyah, said:

Islam has put an end to racism and tribalism. It has united us all under one banner. In the Prophet's Last Sermon, it is stated that "there is no superiority for an Arab over an Arab, for a white person over a black one except in terms of piety (taqwa )". There is no text whatsoever stating that an Arab must not or should not marry a non-Arab. Therefore, we should fight racism and tribalism that have caused disunity among Muslims. We should better follow the Prophet's example in his relationship to Marriyah who she was not an Arab.
As for understanding each other better, it is the harmony between human values and personal traits that help marriage to be successful and not the culture. There are so many Arabs who got married but their marriage collapsed even though they were from the same culture.

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:w:

[جوري]

I'd like for you to notice that the name of the mufti above is a woman wal7mdlillah..

:w:

[cat eyes]

i agree with you sister skye however why take a chance in marrying somebody that possibly might never revert at all and then the time comes when they have kids? why not introduce her to some sunni sisters so they can give her dawah about proper islam. i know that there is some men who marry non muslims and after a while they have reverted however the guy has to be practicing himself. there is some success stories i heard but there is alot of horror stories i heard also and my personal opinion would be not to take the risk and give her dawah through other means instead of taking her as a wife.

[islamaholic]

Wa-alaykum asalam, ya akhi make istikhara first and foremost and ask Allah to guide you whether she's the one or not for you. Also be patient and give her plenty of written evidences for the Sunnah case and see if she agrees with time or not. May Allah giude her to the right path inshallah.

About the mother, you should try sucking up to her and give her the best gifts from your culture, and if she's into food, feed her your culture's best meals till she gets addicted, then stop, and then demand her daughter's hand as ransom, for further meals.

[islamaholic]

By the way, that being my first post and all, I was wondering why there is no "edit post", or do I have to become a full member first? Thanks in advance for answers and sorry a bunch for going off-topic. Salamualakum.

[جوري]

:sl: islamholic once you become a full member after (50 posts or so) are you able to edit and other things.. we have had problems on this site of people posting porn and whatnot so until their 'loyalty' so to speak is established they are forbidden from certain privileges..

:w:

[GuCcI]

i agree with you sister skye however why take a chance in marrying somebody that possibly might never revert at all and then the time comes when they have kids? why not introduce her to some sunni sisters so they can give her dawah about proper islam. i know that there is some men who marry non muslims and after a while they have reverted however the guy has to be practicing himself. there is some success stories i heard but there is alot of horror stories i heard also and my personal opinion would be not to take the risk and give her dawah through other means instead of taking her as a wife.

Very true, don't move forward with anything until you know she is sunni. it will save you a lot of headache in the future. Some shias are dead-set in their beliefs and there is no convincing them. If that's the case, the sooner you walk away, the better. It will save you a lot of heart ache.

[Bilalus]

everyone, JZK for all of your comments, but before I continue, i think i need to clarify exactly where she stands with her religion.

Although she is shia, she is not a sohaba slanderer, and disagrees with many shia beliefs herself. At the point she is in, she either does not belief in some of their own practices, or she has not done enough research into things for her to come to a conclusion yet. So alhamdulillah she is someone who does research for herself rather than blindly following. That is why I want to give her a chance as I know through religious talks we can reach a common ground where it will not affect the upbringing of my future children inshallah.

And as for the "diffrent cultural ways of thinking" as someone stated previously, i am from a mixed background myself, and i have reached the conclusion that sticking strong to culture has distorted Islam itself. Although culture is not a bad thing, but islam always comes first and that is something many people forget. I am not coming forward and proposing to bring merge my culture with hers, but I am coming forward to propose to a family because I believe that me and her will prosper islamically in the marriage.

[جوري]

ameen insha'Allah.. I am very happy for your choice.. may Allah swt grant you both happiness and make you steadfast on the path of the righteous ..

:w:

[Banu_Hashim]

Ameen. At the end of the day, it is your decision. Just be careful. All the best bro.

[cat eyes]

everyone, JZK for all of your comments, but before I continue, i think i need to clarify exactly where she stands with her religion.

Although she is shia, she is not a sohaba slanderer, and disagrees with many shia beliefs herself. At the point she is in, she either does not belief in some of their own practices, or she has not done enough research into things for her to come to a conclusion yet. So alhamdulillah she is someone who does research for herself rather than blindly following. That is why I want to give her a chance as I know through religious talks we can reach a common ground where it will not affect the upbringing of my future children inshallah.

And as for the "diffrent cultural ways of thinking" as someone stated previously, i am from a mixed background myself, and i have reached the conclusion that sticking strong to culture has distorted Islam itself. Although culture is not a bad thing, but islam always comes first and that is something many people forget. I am not coming forward and proposing to bring merge my culture with hers, but I am coming forward to propose to a family because I believe that me and her will prosper islamically in the marriage.

i had a shia friend who i had worked with for two years. he said the same thing to me but he was still firm on his belief even though he kept quite about it. there beliefs are instilled in them and they are very much in doubt about the sunni belief. she is only saying that because obviously she wants to marry you. she could show her true colors after marriage. you see no shia girl wants to marry shia guy because they do temporary marriage to the girls then leave them even they have permission to leave whether they have kids for that woman or not.
if she is so in doubt about shia belief then why dont she leave it? if it dose not make sense. do you know what they say about aisha ra? what if after marriage you two have a fight about religion. it sounds like she is sweetening you up telling you everything you want to hear! then tell her to meet up with some sunni sisters. tell her to learn about sunni islam before marrying her. the evidence and prove is there. if she is so in doubt about shia belief.
also there is different sects even in shia.. you probably dont even know half of the crazy things they believe. may Allah guide them all.

[Bilalus]

i had a shia friend who i had worked with for two years. he said the same thing to me but he was still firm on his belief even though he kept quite about it. there beliefs are instilled in them and they are very much in doubt about the sunni belief. she is only saying that because obviously she wants to marry you. she could show her true colors after marriage. you see no shia girl wants to marry shia guy because they do temporary marriage to the girls then leave them even they have permission to leave whether they have kids for that woman or not.
if she is so in doubt about shia belief then why dont she leave it? if it dose not make sense. do you know what they say about aisha ra? what if after marriage you two have a fight about religion. it sounds like she is sweetening you up telling you everything you want to hear! then tell her to meet up with some sunni sisters. tell her to learn about sunni islam before marrying her. the evidence and prove is there. if she is so in doubt about shia belief.
also there is different sects even in shia.. you probably dont even know half of the crazy things they believe. may Allah guide them all.

well for one definitely i will not consider her if her beliefs do not coincide with mine, and that is sumthing we are discussing, and he already has sunni sisters that are discussing with her and giving her dawah and it is going successfully so far alhamdulillah.

And trust me because of this i have become quite well versed in shia islam, i know some of these things!

[daei_the_king]

Some Shias prefer Hazrat Ali (r.a) on Prophet Muhammad:arabic5:! :raging:

But if you think you can turn her towards the "Right Way" then go for it.

I just wanted to address a couple of issues in your post, i hope you don't mind. I think i might be one of the only shia's on this forum. But I still feel it is important for me to speak my mind.

The idea that some shia's prefer Hazrate Ali (Sa) on prophet muhammad (P.B.U.H) is simply untrue. We recognise Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as our true prophet of Islam, JUST AS SUNNIS DO. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE THERE. WE UNDERSTAND, RECOGNISE, BELIEVE AND RESPECT ALL OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD'S MESSAGES THAT HE BROUGHT TO ISLAM. The only difference is after that, where Shias believe that hazrate Ali (ra) continues the line and message of Islam, whereas Sunni's believe the responsibliity was given to Omar (i think... i may be wrong). I just thought it was important to point this out to you.

Secondly, I think it is unfair to call Sunnism ''the right way''. If you love this girl, then you respect her enough to respect her beliefs, and calling it ''the right way'' is disrespectful to her and the millions of shia muslims in the world. I, personally, do not think it is important. I think we are all Muslims, and therefore all muslim brothers and sisters. We all believe that the prophet muhammad (pbuh) was sent from Allah, with his message. And I think we, as muslims, face enough opposition from other faiths/races/nationalities than to start arguments with each other.

Therefore, I do not think the problem of sunni/shia should come between your marriage.My (shia) uncle married a sunni woman, and there was no problem there. I think it is important, however, for you to NOT try to change the girl's beliefs. Firstly, this will not gain you any advantage with her mother, who will like you much less for it.

Secondly, with regards to children, I think you should come to the agreement with (potentially, if allah wishes it so) the mother of your children: that you do not tell them ''THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY'', but that together, you teach them the fundaments of Islam. That is, everything that the prophet muhammad teaches ALL Muslims. Then, when the children are slightly older, you BOTH teach them about the sunni beliefs, and about the shia beliefs. Let your children have both perspectives. Let them do their own research. Guide them, but DO NOT force them to be sunni or force them to be shia. In this way, i think your relationship and children's future could work just fine.

[aadil77]

He doesn't have to do any of the above, shia's have deviant beliefs, they have been thoroughly refuted. So he should try his best to guide her to the right path, In islam we are told to seek the truth and spread it even if it can ruin family relationships, I don't he'll care if his mother in law will like him 'much less'. Again same with children he has to bring them upon islam not shia'ism where they could potentially become kaffirs.

[daei_the_king]

He doesn't have to do any of the above, shia's have deviant beliefs, they have been thoroughly refuted. So he should try his best to guide her to the right path, In islam we are told to seek the truth and spread it even if it can ruin family relationships, I don't he'll care if his mother in law will like him 'much less'. Again same with children he has to bring them upon islam not shia'ism where they could potentially become kaffirs.

All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.

[aadil77]

All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.

I didn't say shia's aren't muslims, but shia rafidah's aren't muslim. I'd love to expose shia beliefs but its against forum rules to discuss sectarian issues

[Banu_Hashim]

My shiaa brother,
:sl:
With regards to children, if we present them with authentic Islamic Knowledge there is no doubt they will become amongst the Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama'ah. There is some very troubling aspects within the core shiaa belief which are signs of a corrupted aqeedah. As Br. aadil reminded me, it is against the forum rules to discuss sectarian issues, so I will not go into details.

May Allah guide us all!

Fee Amaanillah.

[cat eyes]

All your post does is display your ignorance. Shias are muslims. We believe in the prophet muhammad (pbuh) and unlike Sunni's, we do not have confused beliefs: Sunni's consider Imam Ali (sallalahowaallayha) a khalifa, yet they also consider the man that caused his death a khalifa. To me, that's a little bit confused.

apologies brother if you were hurt by the comments posted

btw welcome to the forum :)

[Bilalus]

lol I can see this turning into a sunni/shia debate! and ive met people who have said "i knw someone who married a shia and it was fine". But that is rare, and i asked the person, "were they religious?" and they said no.

the importance of being with someone who shares the same mindset islamically is essential. If she believes what i believe sincerely, then the mother will dislike the both of us not just me. Its not about blindly loving someone and accepting any islamic belief, but loving someone through islam. Love disappears when a person dies, but islam is carried onto the next life, lets just hope we are carried to Jannah inshallah! Because even though sunnis and shia are all muslims, there are some differences which have to be addressed before marriage. Such as intercession, infalillibilty of the ahlul bayt, prayer (and im not talking about praying with the hands by the sides) and other things. In these topics, if we do not believe the same thing, it wil make it VERY difficult in raising children and i do not want my house to be a dawah battlefield. So if these things cannot be ironed out before marriage then the marriage simply wont happen. If it does, then hopefully the mum will change her heart and accept inter-racial marriages lol

[CosmicPathos]

Well, its your decision in the end. if you think you can make it work it out, good for you. In the end its your responsibility and your act and no soul shall carry the burden of the other.

best of luck.

w salam

[جوري]

I just wanted to address a couple of issues in your post, i hope you don't mind. I think i might be one of the only shia's on this forum. But I still feel it is important for me to speak my mind.

The idea that some shia's prefer Hazrate Ali (Sa) on prophet muhammad (P.B.U.H) is simply untrue. We recognise Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as our true prophet of Islam, JUST AS SUNNIS DO. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE THERE. WE UNDERSTAND, RECOGNISE, BELIEVE AND RESPECT ALL OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD'S MESSAGES THAT HE BROUGHT TO ISLAM. The only difference is after that, where Shias believe that hazrate Ali (ra) continues the line and message of Islam, whereas Sunni's believe the responsibliity was given to Omar (i think... i may be wrong). I just thought it was important to point this out to you.
.

Peace be upon those who follow guidance:

Shiites are divided amongst themselves so they run the gamut from those closest to sunnis I have met a few Lebanese who fall into that category to complete nutters almost exalting Ali (RA) to God-like status.. it doesn't matter in the scheme of things who says what on the forum that you consider untrue since a shia by its very definition means a faction, and factions are innovations and innovations are in hell. The Quran itself warns against factions and asks us to follow the tradition of the prophet. So if you are reading the same book as the rest of us, that should have been your conclusion as well...This has nothing to do with who should have been granted what since it isn't merely political but ritualistic as well. And I have seen how shiites pray and I have seen what they do during pilgrimage so there is no denying their beliefs are erroneous .. it isn't like the Quran and Sunnah are so poorly preserved for folks to decide on their own path...

perhaps you feel defensive about your beliefs being outnumbered here or whatever I don't think that is very constructive.. I think it is better to evaluate why it is that others view your beliefs as erroneous at least so you are able to defend them better!

all the best

[Bilalus]

Well, its your decision in the end. if you think you can make it work it out, good for you. In the end its your responsibility and your act and no soul shall carry the burden of the other.

best of luck.

w salam

i know it is my decision, and i honestly believe that the mum is the only barrier, that is why i asked people on this forum to help me piece together information so when i do meet her i can convince her by presenting hadith and Qur'anic ayat showing that disciminating against me because i am not iraqi is unislamic behaviour

[CosmicPathos]

i know it is my decision, and i honestly believe that the mum is the only barrier, that is why i asked people on this forum to help me piece together information so when i do meet her i can convince her by presenting hadith and Qur'anic ayat showing that disciminating against me because i am not iraqi is unislamic behaviour

I doubt she'll care as a Shiite that what is Islamic and what is not. May you tell me that how did she discriminate against you? Telling one's daughter not to marry a man from other race is not discrimination per se. Discrimination is when someone's right is stolen from them based on superficial factors such as race. And I dont think marrying a certain person can be other person's right. Just wanted to correct that.

[Bilalus]

but wouldnt you count this as removing her her daughters right to marry someone solely based on their deen which is the way it is supposed to be instead of placing nationality as the most important thing?

[CosmicPathos]

but wouldnt you count this as removing her her daughters right to marry someone solely based on their deen which is the way it is supposed to be instead of placing nationality as the most important thing?

That is between her daughter and herself. Her mother has no right to stop the daughter from marrying someone. BUt i was talking in regards to the issue between you and her mom.

[Bilalus]

mm true, telling a daughter not to marry a man from another race may not fully qualify as discrimination, but turning someone down just because of their nationality alone can count as discrimination no? Preference is one thing, but having nationality as THE deciding factor seems a bit wrong doesnt it?

[CosmicPathos]

mm true, telling a daughter not to marry a man from another race may not fully qualify as discrimination, but turning someone down just because of their nationality alone can count as discrimination no? Preference is one thing, but having nationality as THE deciding factor seems a bit wrong doesnt it?

Its wrong and Allah wont like it. But from secular perspective, I dont see any wrong. And since she's Shiite I doubt she cares what Allah likes or not.

[anonymous]

lol Why do I feel that this forum is rather filled with "salafi". I've been through this forum and most of the posts seem to be a bit biased with the perspective of the "only best muslims are salafi". It's quiet upsetting.

No I am not shia. My advise is this brother. Shia DO have some weird beliefs. I don't recommend you consider her for marriage until she is firm on the belief of how islam is! Note: I did not say sunni is "right way" because most of the sects and things said in Sunni itself is contradictory. The real Islam does not say anything bad about the prophets, there wives pbuh, and the khalaifs. There is one shaddha , one Qur'an, and ahadith. Thats the islam that should be followed.

So .. until you know for sure she believes in the proper islamic believes and its traditions without having you to influence her don't consider her for marriage. As cat_eyes said, let her be with non-shia sisters, and see how it goes. Be patient brother inshallah! Don't rush, marriage is a serious matter :). And as for her mother, she'll eventually given in but important issue is the belief you two have. Fix that first or rather resolve it :)!

May allah guide you and her inshallah ameen!