Disrespect increasing

[Beardo]

Has anyone noticed this? Or perhaps I'm being overly speculative, but kids these days are just getting more and more disrespectful as the days go by. The concept of raising hands and waiting to be called on has been long gone. The respect for knowledge has also passed out. They're now sitting on their textbooks as a cushion.

How did this all come about?

Honestly, I really think it's from that spongebob square pants. Look at all the Disney movie themes as well: Disobey the father, runaway from home. Name a disney movie that's not like that, if you dare.

It's really a sad state of affairs.

[Life_Is_Short]

It came from parents having a T.V in the first place.

No one is born with good manners. These are taught by ones parents.

P.s, Squarepants is one word.

[GuCcI]

It's television and the media in general. Children 'demand their rights' at a very young age without understanding because it's what they hear. And then of course it is influence of other children at school who don't grow up with a certain structure at home. You cant isolate your children in fear of them adopting bad habits, but by using positive reinforcement techniques you can ensure that good behaviour is engraved in their system at a young age so they won't be influenced from the bad behaved inshallah.

[EllyDicious]

It came from parents having a T.V in the first place.

I don't think it's all about the TV. Parenting has changed nowadays. New parents don't impose respect on their kids. Parents are more like friends nowadays...and that's a big issue.
I hear friends say "Mom is my best friend. Dad is my brother ..." etc. Parents don't have presence in front of kids. They are being tolerant and they have this tendency to spoil kids and give them whatever they want as soon as they open their mouth and start to talk.
So it's parent's fault. Not kids' fault.

From the way you educate your child, that way he'll behave and treat you. There's not need to blame TV, Internet as much as parents themselves. It all starts from them. A good parents will not let his child watch whatever it's on the TV. They will filter it as well as they'll filter the internet search.

Also, a good parent will not let his child play video games 24 hours a day but will try to give him/her the right manners and educate him/her as much as possible, in the right time.

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[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
as one of my dear siblings once said: "do you know why people have no manners these days? its becuase those who raise them have no manners."

and as once i heard my mum say: "May allah have mercy on those who raised us"...."the days of hayaa have gone."

[Hidaaya]

It's not spongebob's fault! :/

I personally think it's the parents. And media.

Also, children learn from their surroundings, by watching other people, school, friends, etc.

[Lynx]

I don't know what Disney movies don't involve running away; it seems that in most disney movies in the end the moral is not to have run away. Spongebob Square promotes causes disrespect amongst the youth? I highly doubt that but one solution might be to get the kids to watch Television that promotes the opposite of what you're complaining about.

[tyciol]

This is worded somewhat complexly... rather than an increased lack, shouldn't we say a reduced presence, that there is less respect? Furthermore, are we discussing politeness (how people behave) or our actual feelings of admiration we have towards one another?

I believe in being polite and in fostering this behaviour, I do not feel justified to anger if I am treated impolitely though. Many people do not know of the merits, they are rude in an attempt to feel free and in control most likely because they are in distress and feel confined and out of control.

In regards to children, I believe they should be impressed. In past days, parents would visibly work hard at complex tasks which would puzzle youths, they would understand and acknowledge their elders' skills and accomplishments.

Nowadays, the skills we learn are so complex that they become subtle and their importance and difficulty may not be apparent even to other adults, much less to a new generation mastering the world. I believe if we can be patient and be communicative so as to teach the importance of what we know and can do, respect will come. Respect is an understanding of important traits, after all.

[S<Chowdhury]

Has anyone noticed this? Or perhaps I'm being overly speculative, but kids these days are just getting more and more disrespectful as the days go by. The concept of raising hands and waiting to be called on has been long gone. The respect for knowledge has also passed out. They're now sitting on their textbooks as a cushion.

How did this all come about?

Honestly, I really think it's from that spongebob square pants. Look at all the Disney movie themes as well: Disobey the father, runaway from home. Name a disney movie that's not like that, if you dare.

It's really a sad state of affairs.

LOL how can you blame spongebob square pants haha and disney films you ever watch Bambi or Lion King they were epic films, Toy Story 3 Coming out soon aswell ;D

Kids are disobey parents because no one is being strict enough i think new generation growing up with parents who were born in the West so they seem to be a bit more lenient plus when the Fed don't do stop anti-social behavior and give a warning.......then what truly is stopping you. Plus now everyone wants to be a Badman, ghetto, street, raaaw......."with the gash n mash mash ting " this is da type of culture kids are growing up with no 1 wonder you getting kids stabbing every other kid, Boy Rape at 10 years old and people going around with a heater or a shank, youth culture in 1 word *****, so b4 u even start teaching kids manners you need to sort out there mentality

[aadil77]

Proper teaching of adaab and akhlaaq has to be drilled into kids from a young age. If parents spoil their kids and they dont teach them properly, they can't moan when their kids grow and start copyin the chav next door by swearin and slammin the door at them. People think by sendin kids to an islamic school it will solve the problem, it won't, it has to be done at home properly.

[S<Chowdhury]

Proper teaching of adaab and akhlaaq has to be drilled into kids from a young age. If parents spoil their kids and they dont teach them properly, they can't moan when their kids grow and start copyin the chav next door by swearin and slammin the door at them. People think by sendin kids to an islamic school it will solve the problem, it won't, it has to be done at home properly.

^^ LOL so trueee, no need for islamic schools, jus getting gd smack or two would work, you know half the kids "chavs /rude boi" need is a gd smack n they back down like a coward they are

[aadil77]

^^ LOL so trueee, no need for islamic schools, jus getting gd smack or two would work, you know half the kids "chavs /rude boi" need is a gd smack n they back down like a coward they are

Lol or desi style get the slippers, in my case it was heeled shoes to the head... daymm

My lil bro gets beats from me, when he gets bigger i'll be using a pole - hopefully it wont hav to get to that tho.

But yh man respect in countries like these is hard to implement, kids get matured, over confident and build an attitude too quickly, thats why parents got to take drastic measures to get the job done.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu alaaykum

^I dont think hitting the child would help...or would it? in my opinion it gets some kids worser...

But teaching the Child correct manners throughout life is good, but its not like that kid wont ever meet people with bad manners its life.because some easily get influenced..the inteligent kid would never fall for such rubbish InshaAllaah...
I think they should be taught also about the Tricks of the Shaytaan how easily he tricks people in to talking badly ie disrespecting others..

The Parents gotta be prepared indeed..so yeahh

Wa alaaykum Salaam

[aadil77]

Aslaamu alaaykum

^I dont think hitting the child would help...or would it? in my opinion it gets some kids worser...

But teaching the Child correct manners throughout life is good, but its not like that kid wont ever meet people with bad manners its life.because some easily get influenced..the inteligent kid would never fall for such rubbish InshaAllaah...
I think they should be taught also about the Tricks of the Shaytaan how easily he tricks people in to talking badly ie disrespecting others..

The Parents gotta be prepared indeed..so yeahh

Wa alaaykum Salaam

It does work, hitting alone will not work, you need to balance it with teaching them an understanding of why its wrong and the consequences, it works with my lil bro, I'm tryin to put the fear of Allah in him, so when he'll avoid doing something wrong out of fear of Allah and not me.

[Woodrow]

Instant solution.

Sterilize all parents and execute all children under the age of 45. It would work, but I believe it would make the world a very dull place to live.

Perhaps all we need to remember is that our grand children will punish our children for their behavior. My children might have been spoiled disobedient brats, but my Grandkids are perfect.

You may find this hard to believe, but I honestly feel the children of today are more obedient and respectful then my generation was. I see so much potential potential in today's young people, it makes me feel that there is hope for the human race after all.

[Beardo]

Instant solution.

Sterilize all parents and execute all children under the age of 45. It would work, but I believe it would make the world a very dull place to live.

Perhaps all we need to remember is that our grand children will punish our children for their behavior. My children might have been spoiled disobedient brats, but my Grandkids are perfect.

You may find this hard to believe, but I honestly feel the children of today are more obedient and respectful then my generation was. I see so much potential potential in today's young people, it makes me feel that there is hope for the human race after all.

I don't know, Grandpa. I actually have to disagree.

When I was young, I remember we never even touched our elders. Elders meaning anyone two or more years older than us. Nowadays, they come hit you, smack you, no problem. I would say it's just my community, but when I was in Australia for a few months, I recognized the same problem.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Do you think the Prophet SAW would hit his Daughter or any of his children?
Or would you say things have changed, as in today its different from back then because of the attitude of kids etc, wouldnt you say the same rules apply for todays generation?

[Beardo]

Do you think the Prophet SAW would hit his Daughter or any of his children?
Or would you say things have changed, as in today its different from back then because of the attitude of kids etc, wouldnt you say the same rules apply for todays generation?

Hitting is out of the question. I don't think hitting creates anything except discord and hatred. It weakens relationships and bonds, in my opinion. Though, I suppose the amount and level of hitting also plays a role. Allahu Alam. Hitting isn't meant for physical pain. It's supposed to prove a point. But hitting isn't really the solution. A mild reminder or scolding should do the trick.

[Life_Is_Short]

Raise them in a bubble.

Like the one used for kids born with faulty immune system.

[Woodrow]

Just a reminder:

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

The above quote is over 2000 years old. It was attributed to Socrates by Plato.

[S<Chowdhury]

Lol or desi style get the slippers, in my case it was heeled shoes to the head... daymm

My lil bro gets beats from me, when he gets bigger i'll be using a pole - hopefully it wont hav to get to that tho.

But yh man respect in countries like these is hard to implement, kids get matured, over confident and build an attitude too quickly, thats why parents got to take drastic measures to get the job done.

LOL I use to get hit with slippers aswell, but then mum use to go even further with her cane (i tried to break it once haha regret that day lol)

Yeah I agree balance punishment out but a few smacks here and there don't hurt unless you bruise heavily -that boarders on child abuse which I'm against.

[CosmicPathos]

I feel that hitting is necessary. My definition of hitting includes a slick slap or two on the face when the child is not acting normally and all other measures (scolding, reinforcement) etc have been tried. NEVER hit your child in front of anyone especially his friends. I was hit once by my dad when I was 10-11 years old in a masjid because I threw my brother off the ledge and that was a confidence-shattering experience of my life. But of course I was at mistake and I did deserve to be hit. An eye for an eye. Just not in the masjid in front of other people :(

But yes, I do not think Prophet Muhammad pbuh hit any children. Of course I would not hit ANY children except my own and that also when I have tried EVERYTHING non-violent possible to remove their naughty habits. Some people take this action of our Prophet pbuh (of not hitting any children) to the other extreme and say that we SHOULD NEVER EVER hit children even if they commit zina despite knowledge.

[aadil77]

yh agreed it ruins a kids confidence, has to be done in private, till then you can always threaten them with 'ghar jaa kar dhaykna' (watch when we get home) ;D

[Beardo]

Just a reminder:



The above quote is over 2000 years old. It was attributed to Socrates by Plato.

Wow. It seems like it's a common problem in every society. I guess if you look at it in that light, then yes, you are right. Just let children be children.

Though, every parent wants their child to be #1. The white stallion among black horses. Though that was probably a horrible analogy lol.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

yh agreed it ruins a kids confidence, has to be done in private, till then you can always threaten them with 'ghar jaa kar dhaykna' (watch when we get home) ;D

Aslaamu alaaykum..
lool i hate that, would scaree meee SubhaanAllaah....LOL...but i disagree on this whole hitting a child concept...because i dont think its worth it at all, if scolding dont work why then lose it on the child by hitting them? i dont understand....Either you learn to be patient , isnt hitting usually a sign of anger? like if you hit a child, what if it leaves a mark on them? bruise, rash or whatever.. and you can get in trouble for child abuse, or if you take it the other way around such as the tapping sort of hitting on the child hows that gona work? so which one do you people use to "Hit" your kids aye? the hitting bad or tapping? because neither of them work..and i hope i made sense InshaaAllaah.. so yeahh..

Wa alaaykum salaam

[Cabdullahi]

Has anyone noticed this? Or perhaps I'm being overly speculative, but kids these days are just getting more and more disrespectful as the days go by. The concept of raising hands and waiting to be called on has been long gone. The respect for knowledge has also passed out. They're now sitting on their textbooks as a cushion.

How did this all come about?

Honestly, I really think it's from that spongebob square pants. Look at all the Disney movie themes as well: Disobey the father, runaway from home. Name a disney movie that's not like that, if you dare.

It's really a sad state of affairs.

Rashad you ****

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

And people who "SLAP" there kids, make me feel sad...man it makes the child hate their parent, and if there is a time the kids done something bad, like stole or killed some1 or something, now whoos he goonaa tell about it? his bad friend or his father or mother?

he certainly aint gonna tell the parent bout it, coz he will be TOOO afraid, and trust this has been the casee for most kids around the world... so yeahhh

Peace out

[aadil77]

And people who "SLAP" there kids, make me feel sad...man it makes the child hate their parent, and if there is a time the kids done something bad, like stole or killed some1 or something, now whoos he goonaa tell about it? his bad friend or his father or mother?

he certainly aint gonna tell the parent bout it, coz he will be TOOO afraid, and trust this has been the casee for most kids around the world... so yeahhh

Peace out

no it don't, thats only when you go crazy on the kid, there's a limit where you don't loose the kids trust in you

the aim of a few slaps is not to bruise or hurt them its just to get them embaraased, ashamed and remourseful enough of what they did, tat way thy'll be more careful next time. You should only try and slap the kid on his bottom.

Again all this depends on the type of kid, if the kid is a sissy he'll most likely get scared just by a bit of shouting, if he's more rebelious and a gremlin then only a few slaps can sort him out properly

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

lol @ sisy aha.. SubhaanAllaah the time has come where even sissy kids exist MashaAllaah

Bro Allahu alam..it also depends on how some parents bring their kids up aswell..i dont know much about the retarded kids you mentioned but im sure you`ve met some yurself indeed.

so yeah but i myself i Disagreee, but i know what kids you mean, if the parents too angered up and geekified they will end up as you said Hit there child do embaras or lets say sort them out..but if the parent is too soft i doubt they would ever hit the kid...Indeedyyy so yeah

[Mujahideen92]

Its the parents fault. Dont blame technology. Its like someone throws a rock at you and you blame the rock.

[Beardo]

Its the parents fault. Dont blame technology. Its like someone throws a rock at you and you blame the rock.

That's a beautiful example, actually. Puts things in perspective. But I'd also like to add that society has somewhat to do with it as well.

[CosmicPathos]

You cant put parents at fault for everything that their children do. If that is the case, its better to rid oneself of the responsibility of producing children by not producing em. But of course, Islamiis not cruel and that cannot be the case in Islam.

[The Ruler]

Has anyone noticed this? Or perhaps I'm being overly speculative, but kids these days are just getting more and more disrespectful as the days go by. The concept of raising hands and waiting to be called on has been long gone. The respect for knowledge has also passed out. They're now sitting on their textbooks as a cushion.

How did this all come about?

Honestly, I really think it's from that spongebob square pants. Look at all the Disney movie themes as well: Disobey the father, runaway from home. Name a disney movie that's not like that, if you dare.

It's really a sad state of affairs.

I don't think the semi-nude sponge has anything to do with the persistent disrespect of kids. I believe it's more the freedom the children attain, the people they keep company etc. I'm unsure of how much parents are to blame, though. A teenager will always find methods to ensure that their deeds are cemented to the ground and buried under a pile of roses (the only flower I know :-/) before they walk home.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

yh agreed it ruins a kids confidence, has to be done in private, till then you can always threaten them with 'ghar jaa kar dhaykna' (watch when we get home) ;D

a good way to discipline the kid without humiliating them in public , is to give them that soul piecing glare.

worked on me like a treat.

[Beardo]

a good way to discipline the kid without humiliating them in public , is to give them that soul piecing glare.

worked on me like a treat.

That's so true. That works quite effectively. But some kids are immune to that though. Depends how you're brought up at the end of the day.

[Grofica]

i dont think hitting is the answer. i think its more about the punishment befitting the crime... scrub the bathroom or wash dishes for a week or some HARD chore (my grandpa made us bail hay when we were younger as punishement... if anyone has ever bailed hay trust me by the time you get to the barn your sorry) and because its such a phyical task the child works out all the anger... (in a healthy way) we feed the chickens clean the horses i mean there was always something. weeded the garden... sometimes one day sometimes one week. i tell you one thing we never did it again though. only very very very rarley did we get a spanken and it had to be bad to get that...

what does make me angry is all the "no you cant punish your child for something they did wrong it will affect their esteam.... you should talk to them and see if they are emotionally vunerable right now" and all that other new age touchy feely stuff.

WHATEVER! a little hard work build character it also give people good alturnitives for working out their anger... like i said i dont really believe in hitting but grandpa tought us there is a lot worse things then spankings... but we were always healthy, strong and we never made the same mistake twice!!!!!!!!!!! he he he he he he

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you aadil77;

kids get matured, over confident and build an attitude too quickly, thats why parents got to take drastic measures to get the job done

Kids are going to do whatever they want to do, despite all their parents efforts, I can think of one smart cookie who should be studying now, but he has such a stubborn streak, that he still spends all his time on the internet………

I am just trying to think of his name, it begins with aa

Blessings and peace be with you, I hope your exams go well.

Eric
.

[aadil77]

That's so true. That works quite effectively. But some kids are immune to that though. Depends how you're brought up at the end of the day.

yh my little brother gives a cheeky smile in return pretending to be scared

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Woodrow;

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates

Quiet possibly old Socrates was a rebel when he was a child, and he justified his own actions.

As he grew up, he saw the younger generation doing the same kind of things that he did as a child, but he was not able to tolerate the same kind of behavior with the next generation of kids.

In the spirit of praying for peace between the generations

Eric

[marwen]

Well, when it comes to disrespect, I think yes.. today's children are like little monsters :mmokay:.
That can't be tolerated, but it can be explained : what led to this ? there are many reasons :
1) every generation is different from the previous, and that can cause conflicts in ways of thinking, in behaviour, ...
2) Tv, Internet, facebook, video games, PS3, mobiles, sms, mms, msn, etc ... lol
when I was kid (late 90s) A game boy was a dream, now a PS3 is the minimum thing.
3) schools are being worse (bad teachers, less homeworks, ...)
4) ...

But I have to admit that those little kids are more smart than the kids of previous generations, I mean they know many things that we didn't know.

[xsmilesx]

I'm sorry to have this narrow-minded thought that it is all to do with parenting. Parents are important as they are the means of primary socialisation and they are the ones that can integrate anything into their heads from a young age... However, a childs social life contributes to a lot of their behaviour as well; what teachings they have in their school, what kind of friends they have and the environment that they live in as well.

[Beardo]

I'm sorry to have this narrow-minded thought that it is all to do with parenting. Parents are important as they are the means of primary socialisation and they are the ones that can integrate anything into their heads from a young age... However, a childs social life contributes to a lot of their behaviour as well; what teachings they have in their school, what kind of friends they have and the environment that they live in as well.

Parents can control just so much though. I mean, parents shouldn't be spying on their children etc either at the same time. How much can you dictate them? The parent can only relay the teachings. And the child itself, if he/she was brought up well, will do what's right insha-Allah.

[xsmilesx]

But I have to admit that those little kids are more smart than the kids of previous generations, I mean they know many things that we didn't know.

I agree with this very much. These little kids are indeed smarter but the problem is when they KNOW and THINK they are smarter than the parents and thus know what is best for themselves.

[Beardo]

I agree with this very much. These little kids are indeed smarter but the problem is when they KNOW and THINK they are smarter than the parents and thus know what is best for themselves.

That's the problem. It's not that they're smarter. They just act street smart and grown up. That's not necessarily a good thing. They should stick to their own age talk. Keep in mind they are still immature. And that street smartness stays within them forever. It's not a good thing at all. I don't know exactly how to explain it but I agree with xsmilesx. They start thinking they know better than their parents and the rest of the elders.

[xsmilesx]

Parents can control just so much though. I mean, parents shouldn't be spying on their children etc either at the same time. How much can you dictate them? The parent can only relay the teachings. And the child itself, if he/she was brought up well, will do what's right insha-Allah.

I am not saying that parents have to be controlling and if they don't spy on their children then it is their fault for not preventing things from happening. I am only saying that if from a very young age - from the moment a child starts understanding lets say - a parent can integrate into their head that speaking back to them or speaking disrespectfully is wrong, then they will believe that as they grow.

I have seen some parents who do not utter a word when their child swears, of course the child is going to think swearing is normal (?).

[~TwinklingStar~]

There are NO bad children , only bad parents :D