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UnknownSoul
05-09-2010, 08:30 PM
The below article clearly states that forced marriages are forbidden in Islam.http://muslim-responses.com/Forced_M..._Marriages_And It speaks about women alone and i guess the same applies to Men as well I know that there is a hadith or a verse that says that says that Marriages requires the consent of both the groom and the bride At first glance, it looks as if it is ammunition to be used against the son who does not want to accept the proposed wife and is going against his parent's wishes when It is quite clearly NOT the right of the parent to enforce a marriage and Muslim parents are NOT allowed in Islam to withhold the rights of their sons and have no right to force him to share a bed and distasteful intimacy with a completely unwanted spouseThis seems to be a part of the Asian culture It has nothing to do with Islam - the practice is also carried out by Hindus and Sikhs as well. It is a practice totally alien to Muslims of most other societies. The parents feel they have a strong sense of duty and honour and obligation that is shared by Asian Muslims - and these are not bad things, of course. and the sons are being used as pawns in a bit of wheeling and dealing. The end result is that families are getting is being ruined by hostile feelings and parents cutting their children off and then the children seek refuge with the authorities, and protection from the very people who should be loving and supporting them into adulthood.Another major problem is that the mothers of the Sons are often quite opposed to what the fathers want, but dare not go against his wishes for one reason or another. Sadly, this reason is frequently because the father is abusive and a bully - both highly unIslamic attributes. It is extremely hard for a Son to stand up against his father and thus the victims of forced marriage involved are going through agonies of grief and soul-searching because they really do not want to cross their parents.
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cat eyes
05-10-2010, 05:32 PM
and the sad thing is these muslims who are being forced they see that as obeying there parents by actually going ahead with the marriage. i tried to show my friend that by showing her evidence that its

haraam to obey your parents in these matters because your only causing destruction to yourself. in alot of cultures they don't even bother showing the bride or groom to each other before marriage.

i think this is clearly oppression being pressured into something your clearly not going to be happy with maybe for the rest of your life and then bringing kids into a loveless marriage and always putting your head down for your parents because your afraid of them. i hate culture. its plays no part in islam what so ever and i think muslims should stop supporting it for the sake of this ummah
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CosmicPathos
05-10-2010, 08:42 PM
poor desi dudes. Their Muslim parents think that a Muslim son cannot choose his own bride because if he does so then he is disobeying them ....
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aadil77
05-10-2010, 08:56 PM
damm.. men get forced to marry? first time I've heard that, poor fellas. well I wouldn't mind being forced to marry a pious beautiful sis :p
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CosmicPathos
05-10-2010, 09:06 PM
haha I remember I heard a story as a child that a group of girls in Lahore, Pakistan kidnapped a man and raped him. I guess it was just a myth? lol
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Cabdullahi
05-11-2010, 12:13 AM
I would rather have my parents force me to marry someone than to be told no marriage for me because i have to bomboclat wait until i succeed acadamically whilst the fitna is there in ma face, son! :(

ps Cousins naheehay! naheehay! naheehay! :heated:
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shuraimfan4lyf
05-11-2010, 01:01 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist
haha I remember I heard a story as a child that a group of girls in Lahore, Pakistan kidnapped a man and raped him. I guess it was just a myth? lol
Whoaaa..thats crazy lol..a man raped by women. rare indeed. Hopefully its not true.

format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
I would rather have my parents force me to marry someone than to be told no marriage for me because i have to bomboclat wait until i succeed acadamically whilst the fitna is there in ma face, son! :(

ps Cousins naheehay! naheehay! naheehay! :heated:
There are lot of harms in marrying first cousins etc..I do not agree with it. lol
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tigerkhan
05-11-2010, 02:26 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist
haha I remember I heard a story as a child that a group of girls in Lahore, Pakistan kidnapped a man and raped him. I guess it was just a myth? lol
i can never believe such happening in pakistan.........
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CosmicPathos
05-11-2010, 04:25 AM
^^ bro, they have factories making sex toys in pakistan. I saw a documentary on this issue and the poor villagers who work there dont even know what they are making. they are told that these are "beach toys."

@shuraimfan4lyf: What damages you are talking about in cousin marriage? If cousin marriage had harmful effects, Allah swt would have forbidden it.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-11-2010, 08:58 AM
May Allaah guide such evil people...Ameen

There shouldnt be forced marriages for both MEN and WOMEN..Haraaam, haraam.
I know a friend who got forced married, and goes and checks other men out, thats haram both ways right? as she was pushed in to marriage and wasnt ready, didnt want to,many reasons , and she has justt the culture as the obstacle, its all about culture..seriously May Allaah guide them people
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aadil77
05-11-2010, 09:37 AM
^yh too many silly freshies in this country
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-11-2010, 09:46 AM
:sl:
get some communication happening with the parents be it yourself or through someone else that they will listen to
make dua that the marriage doesn't go ahead
stand up for yourself in a kind but firm manner....they're your parents they wont be angry at you forever.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-11-2010, 10:07 AM
^Sometimes parents dont listen no matter what!!!
The religion is nothing just live life as people do, because we live in the modern days we MUST follow the modern people, silly excuses these are, even the excuse of, "Well those things existed in the prophets (saw) time, you dont have to follow themm today" ridiculous!..
Some parents make life harder for you than it already is..

But yes agree, remmember Allaah when you need help and even when you dont...
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-11-2010, 10:08 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by aadil77
^yh too many silly freshies in this country
TOO manny, they bring culture here and then follow culture and the west also..
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cat eyes
05-11-2010, 02:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist
^^ bro, they have factories making sex toys in pakistan. I saw a documentary on this issue and the poor villagers who work there dont even know what they are making. they are told that these are "beach toys."

@shuraimfan4lyf: What damages you are talking about in cousin marriage? If cousin marriage had harmful effects, Allah swt would have forbidden it.
alot of stuff go on in pakistan but its hidden and a lot of people whom i know try to make out it is a country of angels. its so corrupted and i think the cops cant even be trusted
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- Qatada -
05-11-2010, 02:30 PM
Asalam alaikum Warahmatulah Wabarakatuh

"They forced me..."


It’s always us quiet ones isn’t it? The ones who don’t speak out when their parents say to them that we’re getting you married to someone from abroad. We might say 'no..' quietly, but that doesn't really matter to them, because they've already made up their mind. Why is it that the ones who speak out or make a really big noise get away with it? If only I could rebel, its only because i'm quiet that they're using me to get their own way.

That's how you're probably feeling if you've been told you're going to get married abroad. You really want to get married to someone from here, someone who has the same likes as you, someone who knows what you know...


But, its going to happen anyway.


I remember when I was younger, I dreamt I would marry at the age of 25 when I'd just finish uni. I used to dream that I'd chillout with that person and we'd drive around in a M3, watch the sunset together and chillax.

But that didn't happen. I went through some parts of life and reached a stage where I didn't want to be with anyone, I hated it, it felt it would be too much of a burden.

So it was during this exact period, I was told I had to get married.



But you're a guy, how can they force you?

Alot of people say that you're a guy, and you could say NO easily. So i just want to say to all the bros who are going through similar, don't worry - we know its not that easy. To everyone else, this happens in alot of households. Usually, everyone in the house is pressurised - sometimes even threatened - if they don't agree with what's been said. If guys could say no, they would - but some care for their families too much that they feel they have to accept - to keep the house together. Others can say no, and alhamdulillah there isn't much problems that happen after that.

With girls, yes - its hard. If the word slips outside the house that she rejected any idea of marriage, people will question why she said no. 'Has she got a boyfriend?' No. She just wants to be abit more independent, so if her husband turns out to be someone who just wants the visa, atleast she's got some education to support herself. But they don't understand this.



To the Parents

Parents, atleast choose someone who is religious in the proper sense that they have taqwa of Allah. Taqwa in the sense that they fear Allah to be just and fair to your son or daughter. The whole reason you say you get them married abroad is because 'the youth here are bad' - so pick someone whose got a good character from abroad, otherwise - you're wasting your money on the visa application.

Get to know the person, if not by yourself, then atleast through others (who aren't biased in their views) to see his/her character. See him under tough circumstances to see how he handles the pressure. Don't rush the marriage since you love your child, and the same way you spent on them as you brought them up - give them a good start to their life as a married young adult. Otherwise they might hate you for the rest of their life. Why waste all that good you've done for them? If you've spent over 16 years to bring them up, i'm sure it won't matter if you take a few months extra on the deciding someone suitable for marriage, while doing Istikharah prayer and discussing with family their opinions.


There's a Prophetic saying in which he (peace be upon him) said [its meaning]:
If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption.
(Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami’ #270).

(“fitna” here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred. - IslamQA)
So if you argue that its hard to find people who are religious, then atleast find someone who has a good character.


mini story

I know of some marriages which happened like this, they were rushed and both the guy and gurl weren't happy. Instead, all that happened is that they ended up in divorce - with the girl at loss because people might think twice before marrying her again, and the guys family at loss because now if they ever go Pakistan - their in threat of being shot by her relatives.



The Jannah on Earth - A Love & Hate thing

People abroad hear so much about the west, especially our muslim lands and come to the conclusion that its Jannah (Paradise) on earth here. My wife told me that the people think that you can get anything you want, whenever you want here. Before my dad came, he used to think that the houses would be made out of glass.

That's why people want to get their own children here too, and many will do anything to achieve that. Since you only have a limited amount of kids you can get married off, some parents feel that they need to get the most respectable, beautiful, and richest families in their pocket, to boost up their respect. The family abroad thinks that the same will happen to them, with the bonus that their kid will come to Europe, or 'Amrrika'.


But sadly, they don't take the ones who are going to get married into account.



So yeah, fast forward. The marriage takes place, alot of people invited to the feast, and the family who was supposed to enjoy the wedding the most sweat the day out. They don't enjoy it, because they have to make sure everything goes to plan. The girl herself can't eat much because it would spoil her makeup, and the cameras always in the guys face so he can't look greedy.

Who enjoys it the most? The guy with the biggest stomach on the invitation list. Do you enjoy it? No.



Then the time comes when everyone believes its forced to have intercourse on the first night, when it isn't.
"It is not obligatory for the man to have intercourse with his wife on the wedding night. They may delay that until the time that they choose. But intercourse -- in general -- is obligatory, and it is the right of both spouses"
There's even proof for this in the Sunnah, where Allah's Messenger (sal Allah alaihi wasalam) didn't have intercourse with some wives on the same day as the Nikah [marriage contract] but instead, he did some time later. I.e. his wives Um Habibah, and Aa'isha fit in this category.



The Locked Room

You've probably never even kissed someone from the opposite gender before, but on the spot - people expect you to know what to do on the wedding night without telling you anything about it. They just lock you up in the same room at night, with their ears next to the door - waiting to see if you talk to each other. Oh, and this is the first time you see their face. Alhamdulillah alot of people understand what to do, kind of. In the past it must have been well tough.

If it seems too explicit, then I think the parents should know that this is how their children feel.



Okay, pause. If you reach this part of your life - its destiny. You HAD to be there at that time in that place. So long as you made the Istikharah prayer before that - then its all good. "The believers state is always good, if something displeasing happens to him - he's patient, if something good happens to him - he's thankful." [Sahih Muslim] You made the istikharah prayer so Allah guided you to what was better, if it was bad for you - Allah would remove it from your life since He knows, and you don't.


Anyone can cry and say that it I hate life, and complain and argue. But think about it, what can you really do when Allah has willed something for you that you have no power over? The only reason you don't have power over it is because it had to happen, so its for a greater wisdom which you might only see in the future.

So make du'a to Allah and He will do what is the best outcome for you.



The Superiority Complex

Now that the marriage has happened, many people from the west will have some form of superiority complex by nature - the guy/gurl married from the west may even think that they've done a favour to the person they've married, since you were already here, but they're from a poorer country and moved to a richer one - by 'using' you for the visa.

So they look down upon that person if they at first don't like them. Many have a negative attitude from the start because they were forced into it. Sometimes, the guy from the west doesn't even approach the girl he married at all. "It's my dads fault." he says to himself. The anger and jealousy is taken out on the girl who he's forced to be married to. Sometimes the girl gets angry at her mum too, she doesn't want to talk to her... and the parents questions why? if I had such a good intention for them. Good intentions aren't always enough.

I felt this way for a long time, but marriage matures you in many ways and I understood some wisdoms. So let's take a few steps back and view this situation.



"I don't want it to happen to me.." But it happens to the world.

You probably know that there are people who are forced into marriage, its a simple fact. So you say to yourself "I know this, so i dont want it to happen to me." But look at it this way; the majority of marriages within the world have always been forced or arranged in one way or another.

The majority of marriages in the world have not been love marriages, or marriages which the people chose for themselves. That's why alot of these love stories are so famous (Layla & Majnun etc), because they've strived to get married to someone they want to - but they're unable to due to dislike of parents or the pressures of society, and thats the only reason why their love stories became famous.

If you get angry with your parents, then know that they probably also got placed into an arranged marriage. If not them, then atleast their parents did. You've heard the point that 'love comes after marriage', you might disagree with it - but ask yourself this - Why don't they ever tell what happens to a couple after marriage in love stories?

It's because true love only lasts once the marriage takes place, so you stick together through the hard and easy moments. And that's when true love really shows.






Do you believe you're doing a favour in marrying this person?


Think of this;

Alot of the girls from abroad are also being forced into the marriage, just as you are. She probably hasn't seen you either. But she has to accept it because her parents said so. So do you have a right to take your anger out on her, when she probably feels more strange by living with your family? She's left her whole world for you in a strange land with different people, and the only person she can rely on is you. Are you going to let her down, when Allah has already willed that your marriage would happen?


Alot of guys here are more dependant on their families, they can get pressurized easily and the wife may percieve the husband usually as 'less independent, so less manly' - in comparison to the men who they potentially could be married to in their home countries. Since once a girls married there, the guy makes his own decisions in comparison to guys in this country - generally speaking.

Doesn't the girl feel impatient at this? Yes. But she has to accept it, the same way you should accept her if you feel shes not upto your standards.


A mini story

There's a guy I know about whose been married for around 8 years, but because he wasn't happy with the marriage - he still doesnt talk to the wife properly. Not because he's shy, but because he still has ill feelings for what his dad did of arranging his marriage. The wife tries to get along by sometimes even giving him presents, but even if he tries - it seems those ill feelings always come in his mind so he doesn't want to carry on. It's sad.. but you see, if you feel sorry for the wife in this situation - imagine you were to do the same?

Which other person can she depend on except him, when he's supposed to be the only closest one to her through this relationship? That Rahmah (mercy) in your heart should allow your heart to open up to your wife and accept the reality, and then to move forward. Didn't Allah's Messenger tell us that if you have mercy on those on earth, the one above the heavens [fi samaa'] will have Mercy on you? [Sunan Al Tirmidhi]



Your Responsibility

Allah has placed this person under you as your responsibility, they have no other person to lookafter them - and your looking after them will prove your manhood. Since you will interact with them the most, you can change their personality better, an Islamic personality. But you can only achieve this if you get that closeness to them through commitment, and through love and care for them. If you don't, then someone else will, and the person may turn out to be something you don't like. Then your marriage won't work further. Some people say that the people from abroad are slightly sneaky and you don't know their objectives, but think of it this way - they probably going through the marriage for the first time just as you are - so if you show them good, they will by nature want to do the same. I've seen so much Muslimahs from the west who hang out with their husbands from abroad and make him like they want him to be, and it seems both of them are happy with that.




Why marrying someone from abroad can be an advantage

They're still young, so they have an open mind to the world. The same way you do. When us people have biases for the people abroad of being backward, then we should know that these people are probably alot more advanced intellectually on different aspects of life than us. Not just that, they've probably experienced the world alot more than us in matters of communication, and probably know whats kool and what isn't.

There's many reasons for this, the main one being because they live the world by seeing and talking to real people in hotter climated countries because the people are more 'lively' there due to the living conditions, whereas us people like us in the west live locked up behind a computer screen (whether at home or at work) due to the freezing temperatures and talk with our fingers only to cyber people. Further - materialism and fashion has spread to even villages in the nations abroad - so they also know what's popular. So they're not really backward - they're just like you. Even then, if they don't know the latest styles - why not help them work on themselves to look the way you want them to look?


Self Honour & Respect

Something really nice about marrying people from abroad is that they have a sense of self respect or self honour, its placed into them naturally by their culture so they don't want to resort to divorce when any small problem arises. Unlike the west where we're taught that once you're divorced - you've got less problems, the opposite is felt for the people abroad. This means that this person is likely to be more committed to you, because sadly - once a woman is divorced, alot of people question or be suspicious about her - even if she hasn't done anything wrong, even if it was the guys fault. So she remains patient and sticks to the marriage. This refutes the misconception that alot of people have when they say that they only come for the visa (yes it can sometimes be true, but if you show them how amazing and sinere you really are - they won't want to leave you.)

You shouldn't abuse this, but should reach out to be patient too. Alot of Caucasian (white) men who are non muslim get married to women from other parts of the world i.e. Asia etc. because of this discipline and respect they hear about the women there.





Playing sports at 30, not 50

You probably had to get married at a young age, and that's probably why you're more dependant on family too. But think about this; Your mates from high school might still be running around like kids, deciding on whether some nex girl is attractive to them, or taking photos of themselves smiling next to a car (which they don't own) on facebook. Thats the highest point they reach in their social life - just a facebook photo which some people comment on. So they wait their whole day just for someone to comment on their pic or some stranger to add them. Wow, thats such an exciting life.

Whereas you, because of this marriage - will be reaching newer heights continuously, you'll be maturing way more quicker than your old mates, you'll have a relationship with someone without the harmful consequences of sin, and you'll be ahead in life than other people your age.

Think of it this way, it might sound huge because you might think you're not ready for it - but compare yourself with someone else who hasn't got this blessing in disguise. This other friend thinks that he/she can chill out till the age of 25 in uni, then he/she wants to get his/her degree and get married. Yeah? Okay, now when this mate gets married - they want to chill out and have a laugh with their new wife or husband, probably like a year or something. Then they might think of having kids. So when they're in their 40s, they have a kid whose a teenager, and by the time they're in their 50s - only then they're child leaves uni and starts providing income for them.

Now compare this to your own situation. You probably got married when you're around 17-18, abit before or after. Then, you might have a kid around the age of 19 or 20. As the kid grows up, you can play with them since you're still young too. So you grow with your child, and by the time in your in your 30s or 40s, you can give up work and your kid - whose now an adult - will start providing for you.


Which option seems more fun? You decide. I wouldn't want to be an old man in my 50s running around after a football with a 9yr old kid. I'd rather do it when i'm in my young 30s.




The Glad Tidings in the Qur'an & Sunnah
Live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good.

[Qur'an Al Nisa 4:19]


In the tafsir of this verse, Ibn Kathir states;

Allah says that your patience, which is demonstrated by keeping wives whom you dislike, carries good rewards for you in this life and the Hereafter. Ibn `Abbas commented on this Ayah, "That the husband may feel compassion towards his wife and Allah gives him a child with her, and this child carries tremendous goodness.'' An authentic Hadith states,
«لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ سَخِطَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا، رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَر»

(No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes a part of her conduct, he would surely like another.)
Are you convinced? Okay:

There's a few things which you should take into consideration when you do be with your new marriage partner, because communication is proper important in a relationship.
- The main one is that you actually do talk to the person, if you find language a barrier - try speaking to your parents in the native/home language of your partner to get a good practise of it. Because it may just be that you're shy to talk the language, whereas the partner might think you don't like them. So practise and attempts in the language are important. I'm learning urdu from my wife and I teach her english.

- Try to study the culture and some facts about the places they're coming from. This allows you to have things to discuss together which you can both be interested in. Exchanging facts and opinions with each other strengthens relationships alot.

- Its likely that they will be sensitive to the culture they've come from, so you need to show them that you are understanding to what they say. So if you have a negative view on something from that culture, don't say "i hate it", but instead ask them to show how they themselves percieve that same thing. It might be that you understand it and realise why its actually something good once you understand some background information on the topic.

- Keep common ground between each other, so you have something which you can both settle on if it looked like some argument was about to happen. For example, even the tone of your voice, or the expression on your face would influence what you say. You might want to grin, smile, or use a 'tune in your voice' when you want to make a point in a non aggressive way.

- Treat them like they're your own, not an outsider. This is something which they need alot - acceptance. The more you show them this, the more they'll feel comfortable with you, and the stronger your relationship will be, so life will be easier insha Allah.

A fact: When my relationship with Allah is low, i feel alot of conflict in the marriage. Set yourself a target as to how much times you'll make du'a (supplication) to Allah, even about aiding you in your marriage. The stronger your connection is with Allah, the better your relationship will be with the creation [which includes your marriage life].



Try your best - and see its fruits, insha Allah..

So remember, they're like you, if you feel that it'll never work - then you can't be sure of that in any marriage. Instead, every marriage is about experimenting, its about you trying your best - whatever efforts you put in, you'll see their fruits. Soon enough you won't even remember that they were from another country, you'll just remember the laughs you had together when you remember the memories - insha Allah.
__________________

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Ayesha Rana
05-11-2010, 02:51 PM
MAASHAA'ALLAH

JazakAllah khair for the advice we really appreciate the time you put in and I hope evryone takes it seriously.
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UnknownSoul
05-11-2010, 07:15 PM
I can only think of the below 3 suggestions for Men who are being forced into marriage against their will in order to prevent it from happening 1. Cut off themselves from the family . IMHO , this is the best option. These parents dont want their sons in their house , who are disobedient .Thus If you want to live in your parent's home , you have to play by their rules , hence turn the tables by walking out on them 2. Refuse to sign the marriage paper in the Nikah ceremony saying that you've been forced into it .This will expose this evil practice infront of so many and will send a strong message to other parents who are planning to do the same with their Sons . 3. There is a law in Indian legal system to prevent forced marriage .Hence men can make user of that and file a complaint with the Police and tell them you're being forced into marriage and that would also bring the unjust parents to justice. If the parents are doing something wrong , then the son has every right to approach the law rather then dig his own grave with an unsuitable life partner .
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tw009
05-12-2010, 03:05 AM
Good post Qatada.

My friend was 'somewhat forced' into marriage. I say somewhat because I blame her for not clearly rejecting the proposal after her mom had asked her about it. She didn't really react to it seriously and it did seem like a 'yes' from her side. Therefore her parents got her engaged. After a few months her parents decided to get the Nikka done since she was involved in other relationships, thinking that it would knock some sense into her but unfortunately she still doesn't understand the meaning of Nikka! It seems like as if she has no fear of anyone and only does what she pleases.
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shuraimfan4lyf
05-12-2010, 04:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mad_scientist
@shuraimfan4lyf: What damages you are talking about in cousin marriage? If cousin marriage had harmful effects, Allah swt would have forbidden it.
I meant as in health effects. Its not totally bad, but I just heard that marrying first cousins can have some effects on the children you will have..wallahu 3lam.
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Cabdullahi
05-12-2010, 09:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by aadil77
^yh too many silly freshies in this country
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim World 12
TOO manny, they bring culture here and then follow culture and the west also..
^ we have one right here son!
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tigerkhan
05-12-2010, 10:01 AM
ohhhh GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u all r rite we maybe the worst nation in the world.......but yet there are many who i blv are the true leader of ummah.....oh i remember, bro and sis do u 4got Hadith of Prophet (PBUH) which means that in last time there were true mujahidin who start jihad and again islam goes its peak....there are vv.v.v..v.blessed ppl (i am taking about Ghazwa Hind) and this Laskar/jamat of mujahidin were from KHURASAN (mean pakistan)......... so its proves although we have many bads (maybe me on the topmost) but plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont blame all....u had broke my heart...............................
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shuraimfan4lyf
05-12-2010, 12:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by tigerkhan
ohhhh GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u all r rite we maybe the worst nation in the world.......but yet there are many who i blv are the true leader of ummah.....oh i remember, bro and sis do u 4got Hadith of Prophet (PBUH) which means that in last time there were true mujahidin who start jihad and again islam goes its peak....there are vv.v.v..v.blessed ppl (i am taking about Ghazwa Hind) and this Laskar/jamat of mujahidin were from KHURASAN (mean pakistan)......... so its proves although we have many bads (maybe me on the topmost) but plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont blame all....u had broke my heart...............................
What are you on about??
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-12-2010, 03:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii
^ we have one right here son!
Who me? or Brother Aadil? he maybe but i aint no freshy :\....
or you meant yourself? or is it because i said "Manny" ? speak up...Brother im not a freshy inshaAllaah never have been!
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-12-2010, 03:52 PM
^And never will be
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Abdul Wahid
05-12-2010, 03:58 PM
Lol. Don't worry about it sister Muslim World 12.

Brother Abdullahii was just messing about.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-12-2010, 05:08 PM
^ Indeed. . .
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aadil77
05-12-2010, 05:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim World 12
^ Indeed. . .
Indeed you a freshy... a geeky one
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-12-2010, 05:42 PM
^ I AM NOT A FRESHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
This is not good :\...SubhaanAllaah stop calling me a freshy im not a freshy goodness sake!...
InshaAllaah u get it this time!!!
If i was a freshy i would be speaking like one and other things i have no idea what freshies do :\...SO STOP!!!!!!
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shuraimfan4lyf
05-12-2010, 08:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim World 12
^ I AM NOT A FRESHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
This is not good :\...SubhaanAllaah stop calling me a freshy im not a freshy goodness sake!...
InshaAllaah u get it this time!!!
If i was a freshy i would be speaking like one and other things i have no idea what freshies do :\...SO STOP!!!!!!
Didnt know you were a FRESHY :omg:
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-12-2010, 08:47 PM
^SubhaanAllaah..not u tooo....
STOP!!!!!!!!
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Ali_008
05-13-2010, 05:18 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by UnknownSoul
I can only think of the below 3 suggestions for Men who are being forced into marriage against their will in order to prevent it from happening 1. Cut off themselves from the family . IMHO , this is the best option. These parents dont want their sons in their house , who are disobedient .Thus If you want to live in your parent's home , you have to play by their rules , hence turn the tables by walking out on them 2. Refuse to sign the marriage paper in the Nikah ceremony saying that you've been forced into it .This will expose this evil practice infront of so many and will send a strong message to other parents who are planning to do the same with their Sons . 3. There is a law in Indian legal system to prevent forced marriage .Hence men can make user of that and file a complaint with the Police and tell them you're being forced into marriage and that would also bring the unjust parents to justice. If the parents are doing something wrong , then the son has every right to approach the law rather then dig his own grave with an unsuitable life partner .
If the son had so much guts to stand so firm against his parents, he wouldn't even let the proposal reach the stage of the Nikah ceremony. Your advice is valid and can definitely be used but again if any son/daughter uses, it'll be like shirk against the parents. He/she will never be forgiven and will be cast out of the house and broken all ties of kinship.

Because of this culture and honor thingy, parents put forward unreasonable arguments with their own flesh and blood. :( I heard this once where a mother was disapproving of her son's choice and she was saying (about her son's choice for the bride) how will she look with us? my sisters will scold me for getting you married to such a girl and the son gave an awesome response which left the mother speechless. He said something like "she'll be my wife. MY. I'm not marrying her for the world's approval. We are compatible and so I wanna get married to her. She has to spend her entire life with me and vice versa not with your sisters. What I feel should be more important at least where my entire life is concerned."

I found that response so logical and so true, I actually wanted to applaud when I heard it. :D
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