Living with guilt-please help.

[distressed]

Salaam


Dont bother reading this if your someone that shows no mercy to anyone.

I joined this forum a few weeks ago, hoping to find something ? Im not sure what exactly..to gain some inner peace i guess ? patience? My life seems to be slowly falling apart, i still think to myself, its a test, and its happening for a reason..but how long do i keep telling myself this for ??

Im not a practising muslim, but i do take part in ramadan, and i pray 5x a day during it . The last couple of years have been pretty tough, and looking back now im not entirely sure how i got through it. Everything just started going wrong, so i just got to a point, where i couldnt be bothered with anything.Gettin alopecia made me realise, a lot of things, and that i was a lot stronger than i thort, & i could deal with anything, this test was happening to me for watever reason, and once i had come to some sort of acceptance about it, i refused to let it bother me, if i could cope with this, then i could cope with anything, but i was soo wrong.

I feel really ashamed to admit this, and really foolish at the same time, basically I had a bf that was sikh, & he was the first person i had opened up to about my alopecia. Although i knew at the time it was wrong, to get involved with someone outside my faith, i think it was more the fact that a man had accepted me for me. I made it clear that nothing would come out of this, and that i didnt want to get involved in anything, he then started asking me about islam, & wanted to knw where to get an english version of the quran, etc where he could learn more. As i wasnt the best person to ask, i told him to ask some1 else, and found out what i could for him, and then told him to research on the net. I was then led to believe that he would revert and we could marry. I never asked him to, he just came out with it. This never happened, and the relationship broke down due to a variety of reasons more for the way he had mistreated me, not cos he didnt revert.

about a year and a half ago prior my parent got diagnosed with an illness, and he died late last year. This all took its toll on me, having to watch struggle through his illness and then him die was bad enuf, what i cant come to terms with is that the time i spent with the bf i could have spent more time at home ?? I couldnt do anything really, but i dont know ? Since october ive got this enormous amount of guilt within me and i dont knw how to get rid of it or find an easier solution of living with this. Everytime i think of things, i just see my dad in that hospital bed breathing his last breath, all i can do is break down, and im emotional 24/7.

My bf always treated me like crap, i was just 2 blind to see it, he always had a way of turning things around like i was at fault, and i believed it, i questioned myself on everything, and others around me noticed the change of person i had become. even the wk after my parent had passed, he started arguments and i saw him for what he really was and i decided enuf was enuf. The time we spent 2getha i seemed to have lost who i was ? I had to change myself to the way he wanted me to be. he manipulated me at every available opportunity that he got,and for some reason i could not see it. I think i put up with it, cos i felt i had something missing within me, less of a woman cos of my alopecia, so was grateful i suppose that som1 liked me for me, but i was wrong.

I have now cut him out of my life, and no longer want anything to do with him. Last week i emailed him about the money i had lent him (which i had put up another post about) & he just didnt wana know? & he tried to make out i was a bad person. wat hurts most is him denying me wats rightfully mine esp when he knows i need it for an expensive cover up for my alopecia. A couple of my close friends who i confided in, have told me that he has used me & knowing this i just dont think i can trust anyone again, i just feel so stupid and embarassed.

This combined with the guilt ova my dad, i dont know how much longer i can bear for.

how do i get rid of the anguish/anger/hate thats built up inside me. having to deal with it on a daily basis, i just cant handle anymore. Im emotionally & mentally exhausted & slowly this is killing me inside. I cant sleep most nights when i think of whats happened.

Last week while telling a friend, i came out with that i hate him that much that i wanted him dead. This isnt me ? Im not that sort of person, this person has truly messed my head up.

Ive been advised to start namaz, but I feel its wrong for me to start praying, wen i have so much hate within me. Every1 around me knows im not that sort of person...to wish bad on any1. I really cant help it. for all the pain that man has caused me, i cant exactly think gud of him, esp when he does things that he knows will wind me up.

Im wanting to go back in2 my faith, i just dont know where to start, & i literally dont know anything. I sat and recited the ayatul kursi on friday, but my mind kept drifting off, so i gave up after half an hour.

How do i move on from this ?? I dont feel like i can 4give and 4get him for what hes done, & i have so much hatred inside me, that i just want him gone. I have no sabr within me to let any of this go, and i cant take this foreva.

I just dont knw wat to do.

D

[islamirama]

Wa'alaikum as'salaam wr wb

First of all, i'm glad you came here seeking something. One thing you will find here inshallah is sincere Muslims who care for you as their sister in faith and will offer best advice they can as well as support and duas. May Allah make things easy for you inshallah.

I'm sorry to hear about the demise of your father and the illness and hardness you are going through. You did go astray and did some unislamic stuff but alhamdulilah you realized it and striving to come back to the path of Islam. With that said, here's my thoughts on this inshallah.

This duniya is a test for us all, each of us are tested in different ways. You should consider you Alopecia as a test from Allah and deal with it with sabr inshallah. Allah gives us a test and waits to see what we do with it. We have two options, either we curse the test, our faith and what not and go all pessimistic about it and start questioning why me? and all that stuff. At that point we pretty much failed the test. Or we can compare ourselves to those in worst situation and say Alhamdulillah, I still have so much blessing and stuff to go on, and show sabr. And if we are among the sabroon than Allah increases our reward, raises us to high ranks/levels in Jannah and make this test as means of wiping our sins out. So you must change your view on life and learn to accept what has befallen was decreed and what you are safe from is also decreed. Also, know that what you will get in life is decreed as well. So there is no point feeling sorry for yourself, feeling insignificant, or belittling yourselves because of your condition because if it is written in your faith to get married than Allah will send the man written in your fate to marry you, even if he has to come from otherside of the world.

As for the sikh man and that whole drama. You have no one to blame but yourself for that. Allah says what has befallen is what your own hands have earned. Just as we reap the fruits of hardlabor so too we reap the consequences of the haram we commit. Its understandable for you to hate him and what not but you can't blame him entirely, he is a kuffar after all and will do what is in his nature. And you can't base your reaction to everyman based on this kuffar. You should be more aware of your responsibilities to Allah and your deen and not go down the haram path. What is done is done so you should put it behind you, repent for your mistakes/sins and learn to move on.

As for the guilt, not spending enough time with father, and what not. Again, what has passed is in the past, you can't bring it back no matter what. What you can do instead is start a new chapter in your life and make things right. You should start praying salah, start reading the Quran, surround yourself with good islamic friends who will have a positive influence on you. If you want peace of mind and heart, if you want to get rid of anguish, anger, hate, etc than start praying again and start bowing down before your Lord to repent for your sins and seek guidance and peace. Whenever something afflicted the prophet (s), the first thing he would do is go make salaah. Salah is our connection to Allah, so go make your connection to your Rabb and pour out your hear to Him so that He may have mercy on you and make your affairs easy for you inshallah. Remember, Allah loves nothing more than His servant repenting and returning to Him.

As for your father. Yes, he is gone and you missed out the opportunity to be by his side. But its not end of the world. He has left behind a beautiful and caring daughter who loves him very much. One of the things that benefit a dead person is a righteous son/daughter left behind who does good deeds. The better Muslimah you become, the more deeds you do, the more you ask for forgiveness on his behalf, give charity on his behalf and what not, the more he will benefit from it all. By becoming a good islamic muslimah who is devoted to her deen, not only do you work for your akhirah but your parents benefit from fruits of your deeds as well. what better way to yelp your parents then help them increase their deeds and rise in ranks in jannah because of a righteous daughter?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

how do i get rid of the anguish/anger/hate thats built up inside me. having to deal with it on a daily basis, i just cant handle anymore. Im emotionally & mentally exhausted & slowly this is killing me inside.

you accept qadr and always think that perhaps this happened for a reason- maybe these hardships and guilt are just setting you up for thing better later in in life.

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:

Good advice by islamirama.

Sister, I assume that you believe that Islam is the truth? In which case you owe it to yourself to follow up on what you believe. This world is like a drop in an ocean compared to the what the hearafter is. It's like a day, or a part of a day, of what the real time-scale is. Thus it is futile to yearn after worldy happiness and makes every sense for us to want to yearn for the akirah first and foremost.

If you don't pray salah (namaz) now, then please try and always have the intention to pray in future and (continue to) feel bad at yourself for having missed them in the past. Make it your absolute goal in life to be a good muslim and have the mentality that everything else is secondary. At the very least, develop the yearning that one day, you will be a good muslim, if you feel restrained from doing so in whatever way at present. It is illogical for you to not have this desire to please Allah (thus attain jannah and avoid hell), if you consider yourself a muslim. Do some serious soul searching.

Strengthen your relationship with Allah. Prayer shouldn't just be seen as a series of physical actions coupled with whispered arabic words, but the existence of Allah with our hearts must be searched for and we must know with certitude that he is watching us and accepting it from us.

Set a goal to make dua to Allah at least once every day. A long dua. I think at night would be a good time. Pour your heart out, ask for forgiveness for yourself and your father and once again, have the same mindset of actually being genuine and sincere whilst feeling the existence of Allah with absolute conviction that what you ask for is being heard by an Almighty being and will be accepted.

At the same time however, acknowledge that since Allah is All-Wise he will give you what you want when He feels it is best for you or he might not give it to you at all, cos it might prove to be detrimental for you in some way. In which case you will be rewarded for what you ask in that dua in jannah.

Once you have trust in Allah, you will feel less scared of things not going your way. The best way to build trust is to make constant dua! With each accepted dua InshaAllah, you will not fear anything and whenever calamity strikes, your first instincts would be to wish you could be in a position to pour your heart out to Allah.

I know a lot of this is harder said than done, but you have to at least recognise such steps as being the solution to the unrest you feel.

Never forsake dua. It is very important when it comes to establishing a bond with Allah. When we go walking to Allah, he comes running to us. So, as a first step, it is up to us to develop sincerity and the yearning for Allah.

Sister, please don't spend your life stuck in the middle somewhere. If you consider yourself a muslim, you owe it to yourself to commit to your religion fully.

Hopefully you don't misunderstand my post. I'm not having a go at you lol. :hmm: Just advising you on what is better for you in the long run.

When you totally accept that this world is just a test, then you have a perspective that helps you deal with the pains and hardships that come your way.

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[distressed]

[QUOTE=islamirama;1325368]Wa'alaikum as'salaam wr wb

First of all, i'm glad you came here seeking something. One thing you will find here inshallah is sincere Muslims who care for you as their sister in faith and will offer best advice they can as well as support and duas. May Allah make things easy for you inshallah.

I came here to learn about islam, as i do have an interest in it.



I'm sorry to hear about the demise of your father and the illness and hardness you are going through. You did go astray and did some unislamic stuff but alhamdulilah you realized it and striving to come back to the path of Islam. With that said, here's my thoughts on this inshallah.

Islamirama, I do have an interest in islam and wanted to learn more, which is why im trying, I know ive sinned, but no1's perfect, ive acknowledged my mistakes.


This duniya is a test for us all, each of us are tested in different ways. You should consider you Alopecia as a test from Allah and deal with it with sabr inshallah. Allah gives us a test and waits to see what we do with it. We have two options, either we curse the test, our faith and what not and go all pessimistic about it and start questioning why me? and all that stuff. At that point we pretty much failed the test. Or we can compare ourselves to those in worst situation and say Alhamdulillah, I still have so much blessing and stuff to go on, and show sabr. And if we are among the sabroon than Allah increases our reward, raises us to high ranks/levels in Jannah and make this test as means of wiping our sins out. So you must change your view on life and learn to accept what has befallen was decreed and what you are safe from is also decreed. Also, know that what you will get in life is decreed as well. So there is no point feeling sorry for yourself, feeling insignificant, or belittling yourselves because of your condition because if it is written in your faith to get married than Allah will send the man written in your fate to marry you, even if he has to come from otherside of the world.

Ive learnt to accept my alopecia as a test..I no longer let that get me down or hurt me as much as it did in the beginning. I do compare myself with those less fortunate, im not a spoilt kid that wants things my own way, the worlds not perfect, i get that, I had to watch my dad going through a life threatening illness...i didnt give a **** about my alopecia. I think you must have got the rong idea when reading my thread, im not feeling sorry for myself, far from it, what i wanted was a bit of guidance, on how to relieve myself from the hatred/anguish that i have within me.



As for the sikh man and that whole drama. You have no one to blame but yourself for that. Allah says what has befallen is what your own hands have earned. Just as we reap the fruits of hardlabor so too we reap the consequences of the haram we commit. Its understandable for you to hate him and what not but you can't blame him entirely, he is a kuffar after all and will do what is in his nature. And you can't base your reaction to everyman based on this kuffar. You should be more aware of your responsibilities to Allah and your deen and not go down the haram path. What is done is done so you should put it behind you, repent for your mistakes/sins and learn to move on.

Here we go, jump on your high horse,..I was merely after advice, not a lecture telling me what ive done rong..Do you not think i feel bad enuf as it is, without people shouting down my mistakes at me?? I know that, i do not need you to tell me, or have a go, or tell me its my fault, do you not think i know that ?? If i didnt acknowledge islam i wouldnt be here would I ?? You must have missed my first line of the thread, when i said if you didnt have mercy on any1 dont bother readin it, that doesnt mean i want people to feel sorry for me.



As for the guilt, not spending enough time with father, and what not. As for your father. Yes, he is gone and you missed out the opportunity to be by his side. But its not end of the world.

Again youve got this rong..I was by his side, and youve not really understood my thread.

[distressed]

:sl:

Good advice by islamirama.

Sister, I assume that you believe that Islam is the truth? In which case you owe it to yourself to follow up on what you believe. This world is like a drop in an ocean compared to the what the hearafter is. It's like a day, or a part of a day, of what the real time-scale is. Thus it is futile to yearn after worldy happiness and makes every sense for us to want to yearn for the akirah first and foremost.

If you don't pray salah (namaz) now, then please try and always have the intention to pray in future and (continue to) feel bad at yourself for having missed them in the past. Make it your absolute goal in life to be a good muslim and have the mentality that everything else is secondary. At the very least, develop the yearning that one day, you will be a good muslim, if you feel restrained from doing so in whatever way at present. It is illogical for you to not have this desire to please Allah (thus attain jannah and avoid hell), if you consider yourself a muslim. Do some serious soul searching.

Strengthen your relationship with Allah. Prayer shouldn't just be seen as a series of physical actions coupled with whispered arabic words, but the existence of Allah with our hearts must be searched for and we must know with certitude that he is watching us and accepting it from us.

Set a goal to make dua to Allah at least once every day. A long dua. I think at night would be a good time. Pour your heart out, ask for forgiveness for yourself and your father and once again, have the same mindset of actually being genuine and sincere whilst feeling the existence of Allah with absolute conviction that what you ask for is being heard by an Almighty being and will be accepted.

At the same time however, acknowledge that since Allah is All-Wise he will give you what you want when He feels it is best for you or he might not give it to you at all, cos it might prove to be detrimental for you in some way. In which case you will be rewarded for what you ask in that dua in jannah.

Once you have trust in Allah, you will feel less scared of things not going your way. The best way to build trust is to make constant dua! With each accepted dua InshaAllah, you will not fear anything and whenever calamity strikes, your first instincts would be to wish you could be in a position to pour your heart out to Allah.

I know a lot of this is harder said than done, but you have to at least recognise such steps as being the solution to the unrest you feel.

Never forsake dua. It is very important when it comes to establishing a bond with Allah. When we go walking to Allah, he comes running to us. So, as a first step, it is up to us to develop sincerity and the yearning for Allah.

Sister, please don't spend your life stuck in the middle somewhere. If you consider yourself a muslim, you owe it to yourself to commit to your religion fully.

Hopefully you don't misunderstand my post. I'm not having a go at you lol. :hmm: Just advising you on what is better for you in the long run.

When you totally accept that this world is just a test, then you have a perspective that helps you deal with the pains and hardships that come your way.

I do have the intention to pray/learn about islam..which is why i joined, but if my mind drifts off and thinks stupid things and i cant concentrate then isnt it wrong it pray ?? Im just going by what feels right to me. If i have so much hate within me then am i still ok to pray namaz ??? I feel like im doing something wrong, cos i already know i shouldnt be thinking the way i do.

ummya sufyan, ive no idea what qadr means ?? ive limited arabic/islam knowledge. I dont have any expectations in life as such, im just finding it hard to get through these hardships.

& would some1 plz tell me how to use this quote thing 4 multiple quotes ??

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
qadr is fate sis =) do u want some more information on it?
there's an interesting (and deep) quote by one of the scholars:

[Alpha Dude]

I do have the intention to pray/learn about islam..which is why i joined, but if my mind drifts off and thinks stupid things and i cant concentrate then isnt it wrong it pray ??
Im just going by what feels right to me. If i have so much hate within me then am i still ok to pray namaz ??? I feel like im doing something wrong, cos i already know i shouldnt be thinking the way i do.

Not at all. Thoughts drifting during prayer are to be considered waswas (whispers of shaytan). Try your best to ignore them. The more you pray, the less these things will happen InshaAllah (if Allah wills).

Before prayer, just seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan - "audhoo billahi minash shaytanir rajeem".

Keep in mind that prayer is an individual obligation, it cannot be missed unless due to a valid reason (such as during menstruation for women).

Being afraid of stray thoughts entering does not constitute a valid reason, nor does being full of hate. You can be the worst person in the world, a murderer, a theif or whatever, you still would not be excused from prayer. If you will always put it off for this reason then most likely you will never end up praying. Fight the thoughts.

Qadr = destiny.

For quoting, you can copy + paste the text you want to quote and put it in the middle of these quote tags: [quote]*text goes here*[/quote]

[happy]

Asalama Caleykum sister it is good sign that you want to change.Firstly seek Allah forgiveness cuz Allah is the most merciful.Secondly you have to move on the past. Remember the past is the past and you cannot go back. There is a good book Called "you can be the happiest women in the world" it is really nice i would recommende you and there is another book called "don't be sad" it is really beau as well. Thirdly learn more about Allah. About the salat you have to remember the salat is compulsory upon us and it doesn't matter what hater you have inside you cuz this is something that this man did to you.Also when you pray you will this will increase your faith and will prevent you from sins.

[happy]

Sister i found these basicallt the first one teach you about Allah, http://www.islamhouse.com/p/75031
and this one is about how to purify your soul and this is something we all need,http://www.islamhouse.com/p/75031

[cat eyes]

make a sincere duaa to Allah that you want to change.. make lots of dua to Allah to guide you. so do it now and don't waste anymore of your precious time. taking help from people is good but what you

need to do is take help from Allah first. build your relationship with your creator. think about him during the day. ask yourself what is the actual purpose of this life. have you not seen that Allah made

absolutely everything for our needs but how often do we praise him and give him any thanks? ponder over everything. we always want to do what we want to do. we try to be our own god and we believe we know whats best for us but in fact its our creator that know's what is best. our knowledge is only limited.

Now you don't have to start your 5times salah straight away but gradually build up to it...take your time. dont take to much on your head other wise you are going to give up.

at least if you died tomorrow Allah would know you tried and you made the intention of changing.

And just remember that Allah loves you as much as 70mothers. he is so merciful that we can't even imagine. he dose not want to punish us if we just actually listen to what he has to say and what he is asking us to do.

when we sin.. he is always willing to forgive but we MUST repent for the sins that we do sister. and you should repent sincerely for your past and make effort not to go back to that same sin.

IshaAlLAH I Will pray everything will work out for you. will make dua for you

[Ayesha Rana]

aww we are sorry honey I'm sure no one was trying to have a go at you but just trying to be sincere and getting a little carried away.

Of course you aren't sat there feeling sorry for yourself, it is GOOD that you got yor feelings into this post there is nothing wrong with that it was just a misunderstanding.

Yes like AlphaDude said PRAY! There is nothing wrong with praying NOTHING on earth can stop you from worshipping Allah, the only barrier is you if you let yourself be a barrier. Don't deprive yourself of praying to Allah, it's something you cannot live without (at least I can't live without it-if ever I miss a single prayer-by accident never ever on purpose-I feel sick to the stomach like I have lost out so badly.)

We all know you are here trying to learn to be a good Muslimah no one is doubting you they are just trying to enforce the point and did not mean to be offensive. We all make mistakes

Remember this hadith ukhtee:

"Every son of Adam is a sinner and the best of the sinners are those who repent" (tirmidhi)

Who are we to tell you that you have done wrong when we all have our own share of sins?? We can't have a go at you or act as if we are all pious and you are not becasue that would wipe out our good deeds but we can just try and give advice as we would love another to advise us. I give this advice for myself because I need it, I am glad that I have the opportunity to try and advise you because if not then I would not be learning from it and I would be continuing God forbid in my evil ways. So it is a blessing for me that you made these threads and a chance for all of us to repent and I thank Allah that He put it in your mind to do so.

From Abu Musa 'Abdullah ibn Qays al-Ash'ari is that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah Almighty will stretch out His hand during the night, turning towards the one who did wrong during the day, and stretch out His hand during the day, turning towards the one who did wrong during the night, until the day the sun rises from the place it set." [Muslim]

What more do we need? Allah is waiting for us to repent to Him so He can forgive us. Take this opportunity while you still have life in your body.

And hey if you feel guilty, read this and tell me what you have done that is so bad you don't deserve to be forgiven??


Abu Sa'id ibn Sa'd ibn Malik ibn Sinan al-Khudri reported that the Prophet of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Among those before you there was a man who killed ninety-nine people. He asked who was the most knowledgeable man in the world and was directed to a monk. He went to him and said that he had killed ninety-nine people and was repentance possible for him? The monk said, 'No,' so he killed him and made it a hundred. Then he again asked who was the most knowledgeable man on earth and was directed to a man of knowledge. He said that he had killed a hundred people, so was repentance possible for him? The man said, 'Yes, who can come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a land, where there are some people worshipping Allah Almighty. Worship Allah with them and do not return to your own country. It is an evil place.' So he went and then, when he was half way there, he died. The angels of mercy and angels of punishment started to argue about him. The angels of mercy said, 'He came in repentance, turning with his heart to Allah Almighty.' The angels of punishment said, 'He has not done a single good action.' An angel came in a human form and they appointed him arbitrator between them. He said, 'Measure the distance between the two countries and whichever one he is nearer to, that is the one he belongs to.' They measured and found he was nearer to the land to which he was going, so the angels of mercy took him." [Agreed upon]

In the variant in the Sahih, "He was a hand-span nearer to the virtuous land, so he was put among their people." In the variant in the Sahih, "Allah revealed to this country to distance itself and that one to come nearer. He said, 'Measure the distance between them,' and they found that he was nearer to the good one by a hand-span and he forgave him." In one variant, "He was nearer it by a short neck."



Abu Umama Sudayy ibn 'Ajlan al-Bahili reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to me, said, "There is nothing which Allah Almighty loves more than two drops and two steps: a drop of tears shed out of fear of Allah and a drop of blood shed in the way of Allah. And the two steps are a step in the way of Allah Almighty and a step towards one of the obligations of Allah Almighty." [at-Tirmidhi]

So whatevr you are doing at this moment, leave it, make wudu, and pray the Salah that is due and know as you do this that Allah loves nothing more than those steps you are taking towards Him and those tears you have shed because you were afraid that all was lost.

We all love you and we are all here for you. You don't need anyone to tell you what you are worth because you are worth a whole world more than you will ever know.

Learn about Islam and be careful how you do that.
Remember this hadith, they are the words of the Messdenger (saw) during his last sermon which he gave on Mount Arafat:


I have left among you two matters by holding fast to which, you shall never be misguided: the Book of Allah and the Sunna of His Prophet. (Sahih)


Whatever you do, do it to please Allah and do not let anything distract you in that

['Abd-al Latif]

:wasalamex

Start with the prayer. The prayer is the most important thing in your life and you will find no peace and happiness without it. Regardless of what you feel inside you of anger, anguish, sorrow, grief and heartache, turn to Allah and seek His help through patience and prayer and you will find the peace you so anxiously desire; for solace lies only in the remembrance of Allah. Allah Most High says, "Truly, it is by the Remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest." [Qur'an, 13.28]

Salaam

Ive been advised to start namaz, but I feel its wrong for me to start praying, wen i have so much hate within me. Every1 around me knows im not that sort of person...to wish bad on any1. I really cant help it. for all the pain that man has caused me, i cant exactly think gud of him, esp when he does things that he knows will wind me up.

[Snowflake]

:sl:

I felt sad reading your post sis. But hamdulillah you've come so far and the only way now is up. before I go further I have to say that bro Islamirama wasn't being harsh on you sis. His first words to you were, "First of all, i'm glad you came here seeking something. One thing you will find here inshallah is sincere Muslims who care for you as their sister in faith and will offer best advice they can as well as support and duas. May Allah make things easy for you inshallah." What he said is how Islam admonishes and warns muslims. Please don't take it personally. The bro meant well mashaAllah.


Well sis, I was saying, you're standing at a good place right now. By that I mean, you've come out of the dead end, realized your mistakes and inshaAllah learnt from them. That's not a bad position to be in is it? What you have to also realize is that Allah is all Forgiving & Merciful and He never ceases to give us chance after chance after chance to rectify our mistakes. Do you know you can do much so for your father even though he is no longer here? You can do hajj on his behalf, you can do other charitable acts and most of all you can pray for his forgiveness and ask Allah to grant him Jannatul Firdaws. Allah's angels will convey to your father the deeds and prayers you do for him. SubhanAllah! The mercy of my Lord for the believers. Then how can anyone feel despair my sis? Despair is not for the believer.

You now can start concentrating on learning this beautiful deen. Learn al Quran with it's meanings. Don't let the shaytaan tell you that you can't pray because of this that and the other. That's his nasty ploy which he uses to stop the believer worshipping his Lord. Never fall for it. The truth is, if we aren't worthy of praying, we aren't good enough to eat from Allah's sustenance, to cover ourselves by the shelter He blessed us with. Then we don't deserve anything. Would a person go to eat from someone's house and ignore the host? Not nah. Hence why we must never ignore Allah. He is our Provider, Protector, our Creator and more. Only the mentally ill are excused from prayer. For all other, it is the first thing we shall be asked about in the Here-after. Do you see why the shaytaan makes you feel you shouldn't pray?


When you start praying and making dua for your father, the guilt will automatically be replaced with joy at having done something for your father. My dear sis, this is one of the greatest of Allah's mercies that He gives us the opportunity to make amends for hurting someone who is no longer with us. Contemplate on what Allah has given you that He has withheld from others. Think about His signs. Read and reflect His Word in al Quran. Once you take hold of Allah's rope tightly, nothing will shake you sis. Allah will see you through whatever comes your way, and you will never feel alone again.

I will let you rest now and inshaAllah later I'll post some books that would be good for you to start reading.

Fi aman Allah :)


:wa:

[revert2007]

Assalamualikum sister in Islam.I am not sure whether my post going to be long or short.Just let me say a few words here.

First of all,there is a clear reason why Allah ordered us not to take non Muslims as our close friend.In your case you obviously you have learned your lesson.

Secondly,as a Muslim myou should have done dawah to him as it was a great chance.All Muslims should have the basic knowledge of Islam which can help them in dawah.There i sno such thing as search internet when someone come to you and ask about Islam.At least tell who is Allah and what do Muslims belive in and do.

Third,you cannot search peace anywhere unless you perfect you deen.You cannot give excuses for not praying and to call oneself a Muslim,you must obey Allah's order which is to pray 5 times daily and not only in Ramadhan.

Syaitan is taking you astray and before it is too late,"get the key and return home".

First thing you need to do is,perform 2 rakaah of salah taubah and ask for Allah's forgiveness.No one can forgive but Allah alone.Take one step to Him and He will run to you.Allah is The Most Merciful.

The second thing you need to do is,disconnect any relationship with any non mahrams which can lead you to a bad life.and do not repeat the same mistake anymore.

The third thing,pray 5 times daily.There is no such thing as,you are angry and not feeling good and you do not want to pray.We don't know how long we will live.JUst repent now and try to make all your missed prayers.Prayers are very important as the prayer takes u to Jannah.when your paryers are perfect..everything else should be perfect in sha Allah.


It won't be easy yet it is not difficult.Just ask yourself where do you want to end up in hereafter.

BEGIN NOW

[distressed]

Secondly,as a Muslim myou should have done dawah to him as it was a great chance.All Muslims should have the basic knowledge of Islam which can help them in dawah.There i sno such thing as search internet when someone come to you and ask about Islam.At least tell who is Allah and what do Muslims belive in and do.

It won't be easy yet it is not difficult.Just ask yourself where do you want to end up in hereafter.

BEGIN NOW

revert2007

Of course i have a basic knowledge of islam, i told him what i knew, & then anything i didnt i told him to ask his male friends who were muslim. He told me he wanted to revert, which is why i stuck by him, & he obviously LIED to me. yes for the hundreth time, i know i did WRONG you dont have to keep reminding me.

Thank you for to the sisters that have replied on this thread, esp those that have put in reference points esp Sister aysha-rana. In future i dont think im gona post anything so in depth about my personal life on this forum, none of you people know me, but a couple of you are quick to judge, & automatically, shout down how ive wronged etc, etc, some of you really dont show any mercy do you?. Im fully aware of what ive done..i was asking for help/guidance. Why do you think ive joined this forum? but really adding to my guilt is that gona help me ? its hardly gona make me run to the prayer mat is it ??

D

[Ayesha Rana]

lol nah honey scolding doesn't help when a person needs sincere advice but a lot of the time we can't help doing so because we are afraid the person might not understand what they did wrong and that they might fall into it again and we care and want to be really sure that the person has understood the wrong (even if they already have) and so we end up rubbing it in, which doesn't make things better. No one wants to make anyone else feel bad, it's just a way of showing how much a person cares. If they didn't care they wouldn't bother replying at all.

If you have a problem and you want advice or just words of comfort let us know, we might not all do it properly but we will be here for you and try our best. Don't be disheartened by the things people say because they don't really mean it that way.

Remember ukhti Allah loves you otherwise He wouldn't be testing you. Here I was looking for the following hadith and have found them Alhamdulillah. These really help me when I am having a hard time or when I am feeling really guilty after having done wrong or if I feel I am not doing enough as a Muslim:


On Bearing Trials with Patience

22. The Messenger of Allah said: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” [Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah]


On the Excellence of Knowledge

17. Abu Hurairah reported: The Messenger of Allah said, "Allah makes the way to Paradise easy for the one who treads a path in search of knowledge.'' [Muslim]

(This one really touches something in me I absolutely love it)

On the Excellence of the Attitude of the Believer

15. On the authority of Suhayb who narrates: The Messenger of Allah said: “How wonderful is the attitude of the believer, for his attitude is always good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” [Muslim]

On Allah’s Immense Mercy and Forgiveness

1. Anas reported: Messenger of Allah said, "Allah, the Exalted, has said: `O son of Adam, no matter what sins you have committed, I will forgive you as long as you pray to Me and hope for My forgiveness. O son of Adam, I do not care if your sins are so many that they reach the sky, for if you would then ask for My forgiveness, I would surely forgive you. O son of Adam, if you come to Me with an earth-load of sins and meet Me associating no partners with Me, I would match your sins with an equal amount of forgiveness.''' [Tirmidhi]



2. Abu Hurairah reported: I heard Messenger of Allah saying, "When Allah created the creatures, He wrote in the Book, which is with Him over His Throne: `Verily, My Mercy prevails over My Wrath." [Bukhari and Muslim]


3. Abu Hurairah reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah say, "Allah created one hundred units of mercy on the Day He created the heavens and the earth. Each one of them can contain all that is between the Heaven and the Earth. Of them, he put one on earth, through which a mother has compassion for her children and animals and birds have compassion for one another. On the Day of Resurrection, He will perfect and complete His Mercy". (That is He will use all the hundred units of mercy for His servants on that Day). [Bukhari and Muslim]


4. Ibn `Umar reported: I heard Messenger of Allah saying, "A believer will be brought close to his Lord on the Day of Resurrection and enveloping him in His Mercy, He will make him confess his sins by saying: `Do you remember (doing) this sin and this sin?' He will reply: `My Lord, I remember.' Then He will say: `I covered it up for you in the life of world, and I forgive it for you today.' Then the record of his good deeds will be handed to him". [Bukhari and Muslim]


5. Ibn `Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah said, "If anyone constantly seeks forgiveness from Allah, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, provide him relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he didn’t expect it.'' [Abu Dawud]

(Omgosh I had forgotten about this last hadith, but subhaanAllah it is so beautiful and true. Every single time I ask Allah to forgive me He just takes all my worries out of my hands even without me specifying and I just feel so peacful and relieved and secure you cant imagine unless you feel it. I love it when things turn out right when you feel you are in a trap with absolutely no way out and suddenly you grow wings and fly free. It's amazing)

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salaam


Dont bother reading this if your someone that shows no mercy to anyone.

I joined this forum a few weeks ago, hoping to find something ? Im not sure what exactly..to gain some inner peace i guess ? patience? My life seems to be slowly falling apart, i still think to myself, its a test, and its happening for a reason..but how long do i keep telling myself this for ??

Im not a practising muslim, but i do take part in ramadan, and i pray 5x a day during it . The last couple of years have been pretty tough, and looking back now im not entirely sure how i got through it. Everything just started going wrong, so i just got to a point, where i couldnt be bothered with anything.Gettin alopecia made me realise, a lot of things, and that i was a lot stronger than i thort, & i could deal with anything, this test was happening to me for watever reason, and once i had come to some sort of acceptance about it, i refused to let it bother me, if i could cope with this, then i could cope with anything, but i was soo wrong.

I feel really ashamed to admit this, and really foolish at the same time, basically I had a bf that was sikh, & he was the first person i had opened up to about my alopecia. Although i knew at the time it was wrong, to get involved with someone outside my faith, i think it was more the fact that a man had accepted me for me. I made it clear that nothing would come out of this, and that i didnt want to get involved in anything, he then started asking me about islam, & wanted to knw where to get an english version of the quran, etc where he could learn more. As i wasnt the best person to ask, i told him to ask some1 else, and found out what i could for him, and then told him to research on the net. I was then led to believe that he would revert and we could marry. I never asked him to, he just came out with it. This never happened, and the relationship broke down due to a variety of reasons more for the way he had mistreated me, not cos he didnt revert.

about a year and a half ago prior my parent got diagnosed with an illness, and he died late last year. This all took its toll on me, having to watch struggle through his illness and then him die was bad enuf, what i cant come to terms with is that the time i spent with the bf i could have spent more time at home ?? I couldnt do anything really, but i dont know ? Since october ive got this enormous amount of guilt within me and i dont knw how to get rid of it or find an easier solution of living with this. Everytime i think of things, i just see my dad in that hospital bed breathing his last breath, all i can do is break down, and im emotional 24/7.

My bf always treated me like crap, i was just 2 blind to see it, he always had a way of turning things around like i was at fault, and i believed it, i questioned myself on everything, and others around me noticed the change of person i had become. even the wk after my parent had passed, he started arguments and i saw him for what he really was and i decided enuf was enuf. The time we spent 2getha i seemed to have lost who i was ? I had to change myself to the way he wanted me to be. he manipulated me at every available opportunity that he got,and for some reason i could not see it. I think i put up with it, cos i felt i had something missing within me, less of a woman cos of my alopecia, so was grateful i suppose that som1 liked me for me, but i was wrong.

I have now cut him out of my life, and no longer want anything to do with him. Last week i emailed him about the money i had lent him (which i had put up another post about) & he just didnt wana know? & he tried to make out i was a bad person. wat hurts most is him denying me wats rightfully mine esp when he knows i need it for an expensive cover up for my alopecia. A couple of my close friends who i confided in, have told me that he has used me & knowing this i just dont think i can trust anyone again, i just feel so stupid and embarassed.

This combined with the guilt ova my dad, i dont know how much longer i can bear for.

how do i get rid of the anguish/anger/hate thats built up inside me. having to deal with it on a daily basis, i just cant handle anymore. Im emotionally & mentally exhausted & slowly this is killing me inside. I cant sleep most nights when i think of whats happened.

Last week while telling a friend, i came out with that i hate him that much that i wanted him dead. This isnt me ? Im not that sort of person, this person has truly messed my head up.

Ive been advised to start namaz, but I feel its wrong for me to start praying, wen i have so much hate within me. Every1 around me knows im not that sort of person...to wish bad on any1. I really cant help it. for all the pain that man has caused me, i cant exactly think gud of him, esp when he does things that he knows will wind me up.

Im wanting to go back in2 my faith, i just dont know where to start, & i literally dont know anything. I sat and recited the ayatul kursi on friday, but my mind kept drifting off, so i gave up after half an hour.

How do i move on from this ?? I dont feel like i can 4give and 4get him for what hes done, & i have so much hatred inside me, that i just want him gone. I have no sabr within me to let any of this go, and i cant take this foreva.

I just dont knw wat to do.

D

Asalaamu Alaikum wr wb, my dear Sister the problem that you have is a problem that a lot of us go through in our lives. Imaan (Faith) goes out of our body as quick as water goes out from a bottle of water when you tip it over.

My sister Allah’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness are all encompassing and his mercy is one of his most important and significant qualities of the almighty in the Qur’an, as well as in the saying and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).

In a Hadith Qudsi Allah states: "My mercy prevails over My wrath."

The Prophet also once said:

Allah, the Almighty, says: Whosoever does a good deed, will have (reward) ten times like it and I add more; and whosoever does an evil, will have the punishment like it or I will forgive (him); and whosoever approaches Me by one span, I will approach him by one cubit; and whosoever approaches Me by one cubit, I approach him by one fathom, and whosoever comes to Me walking, I go to him running; and whosoever meets Me with an earth-load of sins without associating anything with Me, I meet him with forgiveness like that. (Sahih Muslim)

Approximately 113 chapters of the Holy Qur’an begin with: "In the name of Allah the Most-Compassionate; the Most-Merciful". This is a constant reminder to all who read the Qur’an of the great mercy, compassion and forgiveness of almighty Allah.


My sister if we don’t keep consistent with our deen then it is inevitable that our imaan will decrease. If we don’t let go of our love for this world and worldly things then how can our imaan remain high?


My sister we should thank Allah so much everyday because firstly out of BILLIONS of people that he's created he chose US and gave US imaan! He didn’t have to, he could of created us non believers and he could have created us in ANY time period in history like in the dark ages or in the medieval times or some other terrible time period but he created us in a relatively safe environment in one of the richest countries in the world with luxury, food on a plate, anything we want and all we have to do is look at the unfortunate people who have NOTHING and we will truly realise how lucky we really are and that Allah has given us EVERYTHING! Many times I have been to my native Pakistan and seen the poor there and I just feel SO lucky sister that what Allah has given us compared to these people. I saw a paralyzed guy ROLLING around on the streets because he couldn’t walk or afford a wheel chair.


My sister the amount of poverty that people are experiencing in this world and the position Allah has put us in we should constantly be in prostration to him! We are SO SO lucky my sister and we still complain about this and that but we should be ever thankful to Allah night and day! We take for granted what he has given us! He could have created us paralyzed or with a terrible debilitating disease but no my sister he has given us health, wealth and best of all imaan!

Please everyday contemplate these things and you will ALWAYS be so so appreciative of Allah because my sister SO SO many people are suffering the most terrible hardships yet we are living in luxury! Look at our poor brothers and sisters in war torn countries and those who are being oppressed by their governments who don’t even allow them to practice their deen yet where we are our governments do allow us to practice our deen properly without any problems.

Even though we sin day in and day out our almighty creator still provides for us, nourishes us, sustains us and gives us EVERYTHING we need EVERYDAY OF OUR LIVES!

My sister we are so lucky if ONLY we knew. Even after our imaan goes down Allah is still trying to guide us. A

All we have to Sister is to make a little effort for EVERYTHING Allah's given us and that is still so hard for us to do!

He gave us life, health, working limbs when there are people who have limbs missing or deformed and he has given us EVERY SINGLE THING and yet we still struggle to thank him and pray to him for a few minutes a day. Even if we were to spend eternity imagining the favors Allahs done for us we would NEVER be able to!

My Sister happiness and contentment of the heart ONLY lies with Allah! Whether we gain this happiness and true contentment really depends on how obedient we are to Allah's commandments! Remember everything that is good comes from Allah and everything bad that happens comes from us and our own doings! Allah tests his creations in MANY different ways!

He may test us in any aspect of our lives! He says in the Qur'an as well that do you think that you will not be tested? What is the point and purpose of life if we are not to be tried and tested by Allah! Allah just wants to see how we will react when were tested! Will we go closer to shaythan or closer to Allah? Why should we let shaythan win? For Allah tests a person so that he may bring them closer to him! Who were tested the most? The prophets! Do you know why? Because they were the best of all creation! So the more Allah tests us the more he wants us to be closer to him because Allah is with the ones who are patient! Subhanallah

It is shaythan who wants us to become closer to him and will we let him? He ONLY wants our destruction! He's trying to keep us away from our deen by trying to distract us with deceptins of this world but will we let him? It is shaythan who wants to make us lose faith in Allah and trying to make us give up hope and get depressed and confused! It is shaythan who wants to see our destruction! Will we let him do this to us and win? Will we let him jeopardise our imaan and bring us to destruction?

My Sister Allah has not asked us for much in this life compared to what he's got on offer for us in the hereafter! Allah has just asked us for full obedience to him for a short amount of time (70 years to the most) and in return for this he has promised us ETERENITY of bliss!


Is that not the most amazing offer one can EVER imagine or comprehend? On top of that Allah has given us everything we need, life, shelter, wealth, food, clothing I can go on and on on the favors of Allah FOREVER!

Allah just wants the best for us and he shows us in the Qur'an that righteousness is the path to success in this world and the next!

This life for us can end at ANY second sister as we have seen for ourselves people dying around us and we know how temporary life is and if we waste our lives further then we will surely regret it on Qiyaamat because we will ask Allah for one more chance but it will be too late because Allah will say have I not given you enough chances in this world to change? We would regret it FOREVER if we were to die at this point of our lives because were not even prepared for the hereafter what will we show? What have we got to show to Allah for what we have done with our lives so far? NOTHING!

My sister how do we know that ANY second we can go to! If we CONSTANTLY remind ourselves of death then we will NEVER slack in our deen because we would know that the angel of death may take us ANY second!

We get SOO many chances from Allah everyday but yet again and again we don't take those chances and one time we might not get anymore! So it’s best for us to change now and strive to abide by the commandments of Allah and go closer to him because he is our beloved creator and he knows what’s best for us we don't!

We don't know how much time we have left so we should NOT dwell on our past or bad experiences etc because it will do us no good! Being depressed or down about life and losing hope and faith will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!

If we think to ourselves that life is too short to be down or lose hope and faith and that i should spend most of my time working for the next life then this is the best way to live our lives because what is the point of investing time and efforts in this world when those efforts are for something that is temporary and could end at ANYTIME!

Why not spend our time and efforts on the hereafter which is for ETERNITY and any investment we put into the hereafter will benefit us forever and we will wreak the rewards for eternity!

We all have done mistakes in our life that we wish we can get a time machine and do things differently! We wish we could go back and change things so that things could have been different but what is the point of thinking this way? We are wasting even more time thinking this way when we could be using the precious time that we have in doing things better now and the future because that’s what really counts!

Let’s move on and NOT think and dwell about the past because our life experiences make us who we are and make us wiser people!

Sometimes in life we have to learn the hard way because the hard way is the best way to learn at times and we have to just accept what’s happened and move on because life goes on but we don't know for how long! We have to realise how precious time is!

Death will NEVER be moved forward it will happen at EXACTLY the time it is appointed for and this is something that should really make us realise that we can really DIE AT ANY TIME! So lets forget the past now and move on and do the BEST we can now and the future in pleasing Allah and trying to be the closest to him and repenting our past sins because if we repent with full sincerity with the intention of NEVER doing it again then Allah almighty will forgive us inshallah that’s how merciful he is!


We can work our WHOLE lives 24/7 and build a wonderful life for ourselves here and then the next day we die before we can even enjoy the fruits of our hard labor! What was the point of all that investment just in this world when it can end at ANYTIME!

Let’s ONLY invest the very minimum into this world lets invest as much as we can to the next world which is our final and ultimate destination! The Prophet (saw) says to that we should treat this life as if it were just on a journey! This life is not a very long stop until our final abode which is the hereafter!


When investors are looking to invest in a business venture do they look for short term gains or long term? Obviously long term my sister and that’s what we should be looking for because the cleverest person is the one who makes arrangements for the hereafter and not only in this world!

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have our share in this world of course we should but we should invest most of our time in the next life which is for ETERNITY!

If we don't then we will regret it forever because on the day of judgment when were standing in front of Allah we will ask him to give us another chance and put us back on earth so that we may do things better and never transgress but Allah will say i gave u MANY chances and you did not come towards me now you can go towards Hell!

We would NOT be able to handle a single second in the hell fire my sister, we cannot even imagine how terrifying this will be so we should do our best in this life to seek protection from it and make our good deeds balance as heavy as possible!

Sometimes i find it very hard to imagine when i think of the concept of FOREVER! It’s hard to imagine something that will last forever! That it will never cease but will go on and on! It’s not hard to think of temporary because most of the things around us goes through a cycle of life and then ceases to exist!

We see people die all around us we see things ending etc but the concept of forever is unimaginable because nothing in this life is forever! We cannot imagine there hereafter that is why u may find it difficult to comprehend but if we believe in the hereafter then of course we must believe in the full descriptions of heaven and hell!

The disbelievers have nothing to live for! They go through life ONLY living for this and are confused and unaware of the hereafter that they will have to answer to Allah and that a terrible punishment may be coming to them!

Allah guides who he wants and he says in the Qur'an that if he wanted to he would guide all of mankind but that would go against the whole point of this creation and testing mankind! Allah knows best who is worthy of having faith and guidance! But it is truly a sad life for those who have no purpose in this life! They live just for this world! This is their paradise! This is their bliss!


One of the main reasons why we lack in imaan sister is also due to a lack of knowledge of Islam!

Knowledge always makes things clearer to us! If we constantly gain knowledge of Islam and especially the akhirah and at the same time contemplate and ponder over it then my sister our imaan will remain strong because we know what is to come.

My sister our enemy Shaythaan wants our destruction and he will stop at NOTHING until we desire this world and live for this life but my sister this life is SO SO short that we cannot imagine.

A hadith to the nearest meaning says that when we will be in the akhirah we will be asked "How long were you on the earth for?" We will say "Only for a VERY short while" because the comparison of this world to the akhirah is NOTHING! So when we are in this next world this world will seem like a few seconds!

My sister we will regret every second we wasted! In the akhirah we will wish that we went back to the earth and done things better but this is our chance! My sister we can't waste our one chance we have in this world!

What is this dunya but an illusion and a deception? Allah says this in the Qur'an that this life is like a veil over your eyes its a deception! We have to wake up sister and keep reminding ourselves Everyday of our purpose!

My sister Allah loves us 70 times more than a mother loves its baby! How much love has our almighty got for us! He looks after us, sustains us and cherishes us but what do we do? We run after this world! We are truly sad and we will be the losers on the day of judgement unless we change NOW!

My sister we haven’t got much time left on this earth and we need to make our vows to Allah that we will ONLY go towards him and we will ONLY put everything into the hereafter to please him! We need to only live for this world as much as we can survive comfortably but everything we do for this world we should also make the intention of doing it for Allah's pleasure so that we can survive in this world!

My sister we need to get into local Islamic activities so that we can benefit our local Muslim brothers and sisters.

You should join a sister’s circle and get away from those who desire only this world!

You are who your friends are and if your friends are those who desire this world then you need to get away from them and go towards those who are working for the hereafter!

We should learn the life story of our beloved Rasul (Saw) and learn about every aspect of his most amazing life! This will surely soften our hearts!

We should learn about the stories of the pious predecessors and the hero women of Islam and take them as our hero’s because they are the true hero’s of this world!

We should constantly remind ourselves of death and read about it all the time my sister and read about what will happen to us after death in the grave and in the hereafter! We should learn about our possible rewards in Jannah and our demise in Jahannam if we fail and die without imaan May Allah save us all!

We should try and gain a thirst for knowledge my sister because it is said that the ones with knowledge and the ones without knowledge is like the distance from here to the star that you can see shining and learning knowledge of Islam will opens up our eyes wider than they currently are.

We should cry over our sins and cry to him for guidance and help in our lives and ask of him for EVERYTHING we want, especially in this last portion of the night where dua’s are more readily accepted. Just like a mother runs to its baby when it’s crying then will Allah not swiftly attend to us when we cry to him in dua? We should have hope of his mercy after sincere repentance and make intention not to repeat the sin again but if we do then we should continue to ask for repentance my sister because Allah is most merciful and his mercy overcomes his wrath! Allah gets angry at those who don't ask of him!

We should ALWAYS make dua for our parents and all of the Muslims. If we make dua for EVERY Muslim then we will get the reward of EVERY Muslim. So that’s BILLIONS of good deeds everytime we pray for everyone! We need to make a habit of doing this!

We should from now on have FULL hope in him and him ONLY! We should have FULL reliance in him and accept the fact that if he tests us then he is wanting us to be the closest to him and we should bare the test with patience! He ONLY tests those he wants closest to him!

My sister can you feel in your heart how much you desire to be the closest to Allah? It is because Allah is wanting you to be the closest to him and he is wanting you to desire the next world and not this world which is PATHETIC my sister and NOTHING but deception and a waste! This life is a proto-type of the hereafter. My sister lets get the hunger for good deeds and making Allah the happiest.

My sister people spend their whole lives looking for peace and contentment in their hearts and ALL the worldly goods and money have NEVER given them that! Allah says that ONLY with my remembrance will hearts find contentment! So my sister we have to CONSTANTLY remember him and glorify him!


My sister Allah is watching us in our prayers and EVERYTHING that we do so we need to imagine he is watching us because he ACTUALLY is! What an amazing feel that he is watching us pray and glorify him!


Let’s make the best of every second we have now and NOT waste it anymore! Let’s learn as much as we can about our beautiful way of life because it is truly amazing and has perfect wisdom in it! Once we become closest to Allah we will feel more amazing than we have EVER imagined because Allah says that you will NOT find contentment and true happiness in money or anything else but you will ONLY find true contentment and happiness in me and NOTHING else!

So my sister this is our chance to aim HIGH and gain the HIGHEST positions in paradise! Allah wants you to come closer to him so grab this opportunity and lets keep ourselves strong against the whispers from Shaythaan who wants our destruction by distracting us with worthless time wasting that will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!

Allah is beauty itself for he is perfection and the almighty master of the universe and we are is lowly slaves who are insignificant like a speck of dust!

We cannot wait until tomorrow to change for change MUST happen now! We must internalise this change so that we can change our lives for the better FOREVER and go FULLY towards Allah and make our sole purpose and aim in this life to make him the happiest and shun this world which is deception and a Jannah for the non believers for this is their temporary bliss and our bliss will be FOREVER in Jannah inshallah.
my sister life is full of struggles, the path to Jannah is not easy for it is surrounded with hardships and difficulties, yet we are so fortunate that we have it relatively easy imagine Allah tested us with our health and poverty would we really pass the test?

We have to always appreciate what we have and thank Allah for it. My sister look around us and look at what Allah has given us.We ourselves are miracles. Our eyes which we can see from and our ears which we can hear and our senses that we can feel our surroundings. Allah has literally given us EVERYTHING on a plate and asks so little from us but yet we still fail to fulfill his commandments.

My sister you need to read and learn about Islam as much as you can, i really suggest that you stick with good and pious sisters around your area, are there any? Join a sisters circles where you can learn about Islam and get involved with Islam. If you involve yourself with good and pious sisters and surround yourself with Islam then how can the wolf (Shaythan) attack? The wolf will attack a vulnerable sheep (You) but if your with a heard of sheep (Good pious sisters) then you will be safe from his attack. My sister it is shaythan who is trying to confuse you and mess with your head that is why i suggest you take my advice urgently and get involved and stick with good sisters and surround yourself with Islam. Get into the habit of reading and learning into Islam because theres SO much for us to learn and Islam is SO SO amazing to learn about and it will make things clearer for you and ALL of your questions will be answered!

You need to make a lot of dua to Allah to help you with you through this difficult stage your going through. Have full hope in Allah and his mercy and rely on him and him alone and how can we ever be down or depressed? My sister Allah truly loves you 70 times more than a mother loves its child, that kind of love is too amazing to imagine, then lets go closer to him. ONLY he can help us through our problems and ONLY he can get us through these hard times.
My sister what happened to you with your relationship has happened to a lot of us. Were young stupid and naive and we end up following our desires and get into haraam relationships.

But what we don't realise is that these haraam relationships are NEVER going to get anywhere because they are not blessed by Allah for they are cursed by Allah because we are ONLY lawful for those who we are married to.

A lot of the time the guy or girl who we have a relationship with is not right for us and they mess us about or have the wrong intentions or just fate i guess that it doesn’t get anywhere because they are not meant to be with us in this life.

The fact is sister a lot of people have relationships just to use the other and get what they want which is usually sex. They get what they want and then they have nothing left to stay in the relationship then they leave. Or you will find people who are with someone and when they find something better they leave you and go and try and get something better. Or if they are with you and you are not giving them what they want like sex for example then they look elsewhere. These things happen a lot in relationships and that is why relationships are haraam! Everything Allah forbids is the best for us that we keep away from it!
You see sister when we get into haraam relationships and they go wrong, it can really hurt and scar a person. Especially if you have been with them for so long and then suddenly you’re not with them no more, then it can certainly hurt you and scar and even leave a person depressed and suicidal!

Relationships are not a guarantee for marriage! They are just two people wanting to give things a go and see where it leads to and it usually leads NOWHERE! Obviously a person will end up getting very hurt especially if that was the person’s first relationship and they had dreamed of a life with that person and only ever imagined being with them and doing everything with them.

You see sister everything Islam forbids us from is the best for us to keep away from. Look at how you are still left feeling just because of the pain a guy caused you! Sister we should really repent for our pasts and think to ourselves:

“It is MY fault for getting into a haraam relationship in the first place! If i had listened to Allah i would have been perfect right now but because I went against Allah and listened to Shaythaan and ended up having a haraam relationship I now have to face the consequences and take the pain in my heart because I caused this and let it happen to me"!

Sister we have to take responsibility for our actions in life. We chose to go down that path so we have to face the consequences of our actions. But at the end of the day sister we were naive and we have learnt from it! In life how will you learn if you don't fail? In life sister we don't learn from our successes, we learn from our failures! So lessons have been learnt and we can take good things from it and lessons from it and do things better now and the future!
Everyone makes mistakes sister it’s a part of being a human, but we have to accept that we did mistakes and learn from our mistakes. There is NO need to keep dwelling the past because what’s happened has happened now your VERY lucky that Allah made you realise that you must get out of that situation
You’re lucky it ended as soon as it did sister and that Allah revealed the real him to you. You deserve much better and you WILL get much better and when your married and you look back you will think how stupid was I being all down about a scum like that!

We have to do things the right way the way Allah wants us to do things so if we find a partner in a halaal way then we will lead a happy and fulfilling life inshallah!

Remember it is Allah that will make us meet our partners not us! So if we do things the right way don't you think that he will give us the best partners for us? OF COURSE HE WILL INSHALLAH!

My sister whatever happened was good and happened for the best because Allah has a partner MUCH better for you not someone like that who you would NEVER have been happy with in life! My sister thank Allah for getting you out of that situation because I can tell you from what I’ve seen in life people have gone through MUCH worse so your VERY lucky and we need to thank Allah SO much!

We need to learn from our past mistakes and do things better now and the future! My sister this world is only a few hours compared to the hereafter so we need to devote as MUCH time as we can trying to make Allah the happiest and worship him as much as we can! ONLY then will our hearts find contentment which leads to true happiness and tranquility in the heart!

My sister when you find the right partner to marry you will appreciate him SO much more and that is when you will realise that what you had with that illegitimate relationship was nothing but fake and what you have with your partner is real and true.

You are SO much better off now and happier without people like that in your life! You were naive and believed what he said that is the same for most of us sister but that’s how we learn we make mistakes by trusting the wrong people but at least we had good intentions but sister we went about it the wrong way by getting into a haraam relationship and that is one thing we should ALWAYS repent that we disobeyed Allah and got into a haraam relationship and inshallah Allah forgives if we promise him NEVER to do it again!
Don't EVER let your heart cry out for someone like that! Yes you had a soft spot for him in your heart then but we all make mistakes and fall for the wrong people at first but that’s how we learn sister! How will we learn if we don’t make mistakes? We have learnt from our mistakes now so lets move on quickly because how much time have we wasted already? We have wasted WAY TOO much time already on people who are not even worth a single second of ours! So lets not waste a single second more my sister and lets get going to fill up our good deed accounts because that’s what matters to please Allah the one who has given us EVERYTHING on a plate yet we keep disobeying him?
We disobey him and when we get hurt we end up going even further away from Allah! We can NEVER let that happen sister we can’t go away from Allah for our own stupid mistakes! We have learnt from our mistakes and Allah has given us another chance but we can NEVER disobey him again because we need him so much sister he doesn’t need us! But he does want us to be the closest to him so shall we not be the closest to Allah who has helped us through ALL of our problems and difficulties and helped us to overcome them!
I am telling you all of this through Allah because he wanted you to know all of this and this is a reminder for me to. We have to make the best of every second before our last second comes and that could be ANY second my sister!

So there is not a second to waste now! Inshallah we will find good and pious partners to marry and Allah is the one who will give us good partners who we can please Allah with and have good pious offspring. Be happy my sister because from now on your life can move forward and you can go towards Allah and be the closest to him!

My sister there’s no time to waste we need to do as much good as we can because death can come at ANY second then it will be too late to add to our good deed accounts! We need to count our blessings and what Allah has given us because compared to most we have TOO much!

So my sister EVERYTHING has happened for the best and its all about now and the future! Let’s make the best use of every second because in the hereafter we will regret EVERY second that we wasted being down and depressed for no reason and we will look back with SO much regret and think why did I waste that time when I could have been remembering Allah!
My sister you’re very strong and a fighter and you will easily get through this because you deserve MUCH better than someone like that who just used you and lead you on. Allah will find you someone who is truly amazing and someone who will love you truly and care for you more than you have ever imagined. Then you will look back and think "What did I ever see in that scum?”

You will think the person i am with now is infinite times better than that person ever was.
So just go towards Allah my sister and have FULL faith, hope, trust and reliance in him and him ONLY and he will do whatever is best for you in this life and the next.

Life is so uncertain and we can be taken ANY second my dear sister. We need Allah, he doesn’t need us.
My sister we should be in a rush because death can come at any second. My cousin sister was only 26 when she died a few months ago and just in the news I read this women of 32 years old died of natural causes. Who's next? It could be any of us sister!

Think of this life like an exam. But this exam could end ANY second! Allah has given us SO much in order to do well for this exam but it is our fault that we are so lazy and complacent!

He has given us everything we can touch, feel, see and hear and yet were still unthankful and so selfish and unappreciative. Will we still follow our desires? Will we still not be thankful to the one who has given us everything?

My sister it is thinking of death and the fact that my life could end at any second that made me change. It is when i thought to myself how selfish and pathetic am i that Allah has given me so so much and helps me and sustains me everyday yet i don't thank him? I thought to myself i only have one life and one chance then why am i wasting this one chance that i have? I will NEVER get this chance back again! I thought to myself once this life is over then i will regret EVERY second that i ever wasted on this earth.

We all will my sister we will regret these precious seconds so why don't we make the best of these seconds so that we can regret less rather than more? I thought to myself “why should I settle for a low heaven? I want the highest heaven and I want to please Allah as much as I can!”
It is in us all sister we can all achieve greatness and Shaythaan tries to mess with our heads so that he can slow down our progress and confuse us but he can only whisper for we have the power to control our own body and mind.

Sister let Shaythaan say what he wants to you and let him try to confuse you and mess with your head trying to make you doubt he does it with all of us sister but he can only talk and we have the power over ourselves.

So my sister let us make the best use of every second of our lives and let us please Almighty Allah as much as we can the one who gave us everything we can see hear touch and feel! He only asks so so little of us yet we are still pathetic and lazy.

My sister Allah is wanting you to be the closest to him can you feel it? It is in you and all you have to do is to constantly remember Allah and glorify him day and night and your heart will be at peace and feel tranquility that you never imagined.

My sister I would recommend you get married as soon as you can the right Islamic way and marry a good pious man who will lead you towards Jannah. Make your children haafiz and aalim so that they can also benefit Islam the most!

Let us achieve greatness in this life sister by obeying Allah and protecting our tongues, ears and eyes against evil and let us be the best towards others especially our parents, family and neighbors. This world is nothing but a deception and is only a few hours in comparison to the hereafter. The hereafter is our real life and that is what we are living for here to work for the hereafter so let us make our place before arrangements are made for our funerals.

We desire Allah and Allah wants us to be the closest to him because he loves us MUCH MORE THAN WE CAN EVER IMAGINE!

So let’s show him how much we love him with action and let’s glorify him and thank him day and night because he loves those who thank him constantly and are appreciative of him SO much!

Let us make tonight the start and beginning of our life FULL of worship and obedience to him and a life where we will spend it making him the happiest and he will fulfill our needs and give us peace and contentment in our hearts which is the best feeling anyone can EVER imagine!
Do not let Shaythaan stop your progress any further as tomorrow may never come. We only have this one chance so let us not waste it over mistakes that we have done in the past as we are now better people from the mistakes that we have made. Repent to Allah and turn towards him. Cry to him and yearn for him. Walk towards him and he will run towards you!

Please watch this short video and contemplate over it and it may change your life FOREVER inshallah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


Here are some very beneficial articles for you:


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...our-Iman(Faith)

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...of-their-lives!

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-on-the-scales!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...worship)-check!

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...loser-to-Allah

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...to-do-Everyday!

Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...s-the-solution!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-Pray-Everyday!



Please listen these very beneficial talks:



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]




and Allah knows best in all matters

[glo]

make a sincere duaa to Allah that you want to change.. make lots of dua to Allah to guide you. so do it now and don't waste anymore of your precious time. taking help from people is good but what you

need to do is take help from Allah first. build your relationship with your creator. think about him during the day. ask yourself what is the actual purpose of this life. have you not seen that Allah made

I agree with cat eyes.

No matter how much anger, hurt and guilt you feel, God can remove it and change you completely!
Seek him in prayer and ask him to change your heart and your attitude. Where we are weak and fail in our intentions, God can give us strength and perseverance.

I hope and pray that God will show you the way and that you will follow him willingly.

[revert2007]

revert2007

Of course i have a basic knowledge of islam, i told him what i knew, & then anything i didnt i told him to ask his male friends who were muslim. He told me he wanted to revert, which is why i stuck by him, & he obviously LIED to me. yes for the hundreth time, i know i did WRONG you dont have to keep reminding me.

Thank you for to the sisters that have replied on this thread, esp those that have put in reference points esp Sister aysha-rana. In future i dont think im gona post anything so in depth about my personal life on this forum, none of you people know me, but a couple of you are quick to judge, & automatically, shout down how ive wronged etc, etc, some of you really dont show any mercy do you?. Im fully aware of what ive done..i was asking for help/guidance. Why do you think ive joined this forum? but really adding to my guilt is that gona help me ? its hardly gona make me run to the prayer mat is it ??

D

Well that is the reason Islam doesn't allow us to reveal our sins or reveal others sins.How do u expect us to give an advice to someone that we don't know but just base on what you wrote.Isn't it better for you to just ask Allah's forgivenss and move on instead making it public to others?

The Most Merciful is Allah The Exalted alone.Why are you asking us to be mercy when you are suppose to seek His Mercy.

[distressed]

Brother hamza

youve hit the nail on the head.

Ive learnt a lot from whats happened, i really have in a way its brought me a lot closer to my faith. Belive it or not theres hardly many practising people in my area. Im currently searching 4 sum1 to teach me the quran, but this is proving a little difficult at the minute. I know very little about my deen, but this is changing even if it is slowly.

I acknowledge ive sinned, & im grateful for what ive got, ive seen people with nothing. I too have spent months in pakistan living on basics, seen poverty..I realise were all v.lucky.

yeh ive sinned, made mistakes & I dont dwell on this as much anymre, cos in a way, it made me realise a lot of things. Im not bothered about that person anymore, although i did have a relationship with a non muslim, let me just make it clear that there was never any physcial element to it. He led me on to believe he had an interest in islam, which is why i stuck with him for so long...i now know this was all part of an act.

thanks for the links, i dont need to watch the death ones, ive already enuf fear within me for what ive done, but i wholeheartedly acknowledge my mistakes and am repenting.

Glo
willing is what i am atm. I wont be going back to making such grave mistakes again.


Revert-your obviously perfect, so congrats, i mean you must never make mistakes right ?? I would appreciate it if you didnt post on this thread, cos anything you say doesnt really help me, and i find your comments quite rude.

[revert2007]

Brother hamza

youve hit the nail on the head.

Ive learnt a lot from whats happened, i really have in a way its brought me a lot closer to my faith. Belive it or not theres hardly many practising people in my area. Im currently searching 4 sum1 to teach me the quran, but this is proving a little difficult at the minute. I know very little about my deen, but this is changing even if it is slowly.

I acknowledge ive sinned, & im grateful for what ive got, ive seen people with nothing. I too have spent months in pakistan living on basics, seen poverty..I realise were all v.lucky.

yeh ive sinned, made mistakes & I dont dwell on this as much anymre, cos in a way, it made me realise a lot of things. Im not bothered about that person anymore, although i did have a relationship with a non muslim, let me just make it clear that there was never any physcial element to it. He led me on to believe he had an interest in islam, which is why i stuck with him for so long...i now know this was all part of an act.

thanks for the links, i dont need to watch the death ones, ive already enuf fear within me for what ive done, but i wholeheartedly acknowledge my mistakes and am repenting.

Glo
willing is what i am atm. I wont be going back to making such grave mistakes again.


Revert-your obviously perfect, so congrats, i mean you must never make mistakes right ?? I would appreciate it if you didnt post on this thread, cos anything you say doesnt really help me, and i find your comments quite rude.

No one is perfect except Allah The Exalted alone.Allah knows my intention and I do not need to explain.But at least I won't tell the whole world what I did.
It depends how you read my post.If you are reading my post with disgust,then there you go-I can see your anger.


AS a revert,it wasn't that easy for me to search the truth.That is the reason,whomever found Allah with no difficulties,better be thankful before it is too late.

You committed sins and you regret it and you repent(in sha Allah).move on with your life.there is no need to tell everyone about what you did.by telling us,do you think your problem can be solved.yeah many people gave you advice..but at the end it is you who have to change yourself in sha Allah.

If a kaffir can repent from greatest sin which is shirk..i don't think it is that difficult from repenting what you have done.

if you want to learn quran or learn your deen,feel free to pm me.We have special classes on yahoo for sisters to learn their deen such as free tajweed class,aqedah class,arabic class and so on.

If you find my post to be rude,i appologise.Allah judge people according to our intention and not according to what others think of us.

I was just being firm and to tell you that,stop sharing your sins with others.by revealing your sins is already a sin.No one is perfect except Allah The Exalted alone and no ones deen is beautiful except deen of Muhammad pbuh.

Allah knows the best.Assalamualikum.