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Ummu Sufyaan
05-12-2010, 10:25 AM
:sl:
i've posted this here in-case anyone wants to go anonymous.

this isnt meant to be an exposure of those who arent blessed with patience or a gate to boast about how faithful we are in trials (not to say that anyone is either of those), but i just want to know how you personally deal with your trials.

some people are bestowed with an abundance of patience, and thus find solace in that, but for others, they really are at the the end of their tether and feel that there is no way out. basically they feel suffocated, become aggressive/angry becuase there is literally no way of expressing their emotion.

in such a situation where you feel that all ends have been blocked off, basically your trials is really testing, what do you personally do? how do you personally deal with it. this isn't whats meant to be done, but rather what you do?
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-13-2010, 11:53 AM
:sl:
*bump...
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Ali_008
05-13-2010, 03:54 PM
Recently, I've been very losing my temper on a frequent pace. Just yesterday, I realised that its the waswaas that are leading me to follow my nafs and puke out all rubbish to hurt others. So whenever there are these evil thoughts in actions, I start reciting "Aauzubillahi Minasshaitaanirrajeem" and "Aamantu Billahi wa bi Rusulihi".

They push the waswaas away and prevent me from doing anything stupid.
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Ansariyah
05-13-2010, 04:23 PM
salam

I kno that Change is inevitable so that reminds me that no trial is forever.

Make dua.

Talk wit my parents about it, mashaAllah they always set my mind at peace.
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Lonely Gal
05-13-2010, 08:35 PM
im currently going through a very difficult time. I just break down on my own, sit there sobbing and pray to Allah swt.. I get very angry at times when it all becomes too much and i dont know how to manage it.
I seem to have shut everyone off from my life..
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PouringRain
05-13-2010, 08:52 PM
I t depends on the trial. Often I pray, consult with someone wiser than I whose opinion I trust, and wait. Waiting allows me for clarity of thought, time to consider all the solutions and alternatives, time for the other party to calm down (if there is an other party involved), and time to allow God to work in the situation.
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aadil77
05-13-2010, 08:58 PM
I just take everyday as it comes, so any trials that come during that day will get my 'don't give a crap response' and I'll just take em and move on

I'll take things really easy, try not to get stressed over anythin
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'Abd-al Latif
05-13-2010, 09:23 PM
:salamext:

This is what I posted in one of my previous posts recently.

:wasalamex

What you have stated above is what truly tests the character of a Muslim; is he sincere. Part of the good manners of a Muslim is not to annoy others and to bear the annoyance of people with patience. This is why the scholars say that one should never judge a person in times of easy, judge him when he is angry because then you will see the worst of him come out.

Allah says in Surah al Imraan verse 133: وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

I.e. وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ - "...Those who swallow their anger..." To give you an example of this; If you have food in your mouth I would still be able to see it by the lump on your cheek. But when you swallow your food it's gone completely. So this verse instructs you to swallow your anger as though it's not even there. And then Allah carries on and says:

وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ - "...who forgive...". Meaning on top of swallowing your anger you forgive them. In another verse Allah says to forgive others if you would like to be forgiven by Allah. And then Allah completes this verse and says:


وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ - Allah loves those who excel in good deeds.

I hope that helps.
I supplicate, I seek help through patience and prayer, I reframe my mind to think positively of Allah and think the best thoughts of Him and work productively to over come any short comings that led me to this trial. I recite Qur'an and work towards, with a firm belief in Allah, the rewards of patience and that of the people of taqwa.

My answers are in Qur'an, my solace is in the prayer and my goal is to Allah.
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marwen
05-13-2010, 10:07 PM
Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
I supplicate, I seek help through patience and prayer, I reframe my mind to think positively of Allah and think the best thoughts of Him and work productively to over come any short comings that led me to this trial. I recite Qur'an and work towards, with a firm belief in Allah, the rewards of patience and that of the people of taqwa.

My answers are in Qur'an, my solace is in the prayer and my goal is to Allah.
Indeed, Prayer is the best cure for bad emotions and for weakness. I always admire our muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine how they deal with their extreme hardship. They are good muslims indeed and they are strenthened by prayer and religion : they never have a break down, and they never freak out while they are being killed, injured and loosing their children and brothers and houses. They always say Alhamdulillah and never get mad. May Allah reward them and help them soon.
As a general idea, we have to keep in mind that this life is not an absolute pleasure : we have to expect the coming of hardship and sadness from time to time, it's 'dunia'. To have patience, we need to remember that we should work for the afterlife and do prayer to please Allah and have the eternal happiness in jannah.
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-15-2010, 11:59 AM
:sl:
for you people, does how you react in the face of adversity depend on what the adversity is. in other words, if (for example) you were trialled through the death of someone you love, do you find yourself reacting more calmly and patiently then (for example) dealing with an adversity due to what someone has put you through....difference bring i that the former isnt in anyone's hands expect gods (so you cant really do anything about it) whereas the latter is due to someone, who has free will and misuses it?
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أبو سليمان عمر
05-15-2010, 12:09 PM
seek knowldge helps me sit down read about islam alsowudu pray dua
personal knowing deed down that this is a trail as are sure for many daleel that we will be tried so the belief in qadar Allah helps alot too
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PouringRain
05-15-2010, 01:28 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
for you people, does how you react in the face of adversity depend on what the adversity is. in other words, if (for example) you were trialled through the death of someone you love, do you find yourself reacting more calmly and patiently then (for example) dealing with an adversity due to what someone has put you through....difference bring i that the former isnt in anyone's hands expect gods (so you cant really do anything about it) whereas the latter is due to someone, who has free will and misuses it?
For me, the main thing different about when I react to adversity by the hands of another, is in figuring out a way to deal with it in a most diplomatic manner. When others cause me adversity, then I recognize that I can not control the behavior of others I can only control my own behavior and my own attitude towards it. So, it doesn't help if I get upset and throw a fit or something. I also don't want to react in a way that will provoke the other individual to do more. So, the most difficult thing for me if figuring out how to deal with it properly.

So, yes, I do think it is easier to deal with things that do not involve other people. For the most part I don't let anything bother me.... but when people cause problems then it is something that often can not just be ignored. That is when I do those things I mentioned in my previous post.
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'Abd-al Latif
05-15-2010, 01:34 PM
Trials and tribulations can come in many different forms but they are all from the Qadr of Allah. These trials can be in the form of a loss of a beloved one i.e. some has died, loss of property or wealth, injustice and/or oppression, someone may wronged you etc. From this you might ask the question; what is better, patience by choice or patience without choice? This is profoundly explain by Ibn Qayyim (rahimullah):

Every person has to exercise patience in order to face difficulties, whether he does so willingly or unwillingly. The noble person exercises patience willingly, because he realizes the benefits of patience, and he knows that he will be rewarded for his patience and will be criticized if he panics. He is aware that if he does not have patience, panicking and impatience will not help him to regain missed opportunities, and will not take away things he dislikes. Whatever is decreed and is qada’ wa qadr cannot be prevented from happening, and whatever is decreed not to happen cannot be made to happen. So an attitude of impatience and panic actually causes harm.

A wise man said: “A man with wisdom as soon as adversity appears does that which a foolish man does after a month (i.e. he resorts to patience).”

The ignoble man exercises patience only when he realizes he has no choice. After wasting a lot of time and energy and panicking and struggling, he realizes that his impatience will not help him. Then he exercises patience in the same way that a person who has been tied up to be whipped exercises patience.

The noble person practices patience in obeying Allâh, whilst the ignoble person exercises patience in obeying the Shaytân. So ignoble people have the greatest patience in following their own whims and desires, and have the least patience in spending in the way of Shaytân and no patience when it comes to spending even a few pennies in the way of Allâh. They will endure many difficulties in order to follow their own whims and desires, but cannot bear even the least difficulties in order to please their Lord. They will endure slander for the sake of committing wrong actions, but cannot exercise patience in putting up with slander for the sake of Allâh. Such people will avoid enjoining the good and forbidding the evil for fear of what people will say about them for doing so, but they will expose their honour to slander and bear it most patiently for the sake of following their own whims and desires. Similarly, they are not prepared to practise patience in devoting themselves to Allâh, but when it comes to devoting themselves to Shaytân and their own whims and desires, they will exercise remarkable patience. Such people will never be noble in the sight of Allâh, and on the Day of Resurrection they will not be raised with the people of nobility and decency.
Whatever the trial is, it acts as a purification of sins and elevation of ones ranks; for the reality of the hearts, hypocrisy or sincerity, is exposed during trials. The main thing one should be concerned during a trial is to control him self. Think of the hardships of trials as gold that has just been taken out of a mine and thrown into a furnace; all impurities from it will be removed from the intense heat of the furnase leaving nothing but pure shining gold. Trials cause you to turn to Allah, to become subsimissive to Him and to supplicate to Him for help, it teaches one to forbear, to truly learn to forgive, to control anger, and to earn the reward of patience. There are many other wisdoms and benefits of these trials and the main thing is your attitude. This is why it is said that the foolish person does after a month what a wise person does instantaneously i.e. a wise person will be patient from the very beginning whereas a foolish person will only practise patience after the trial has passed and the reward has diminished. For patience is the only deed that will be rewarded without account, "...those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]

Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
for you people, does how you react in the face of adversity depend on what the adversity is. in other words, if (for example) you were trialled through the death of someone you love, do you find yourself reacting more calmly and patiently then (for example) dealing with an adversity due to what someone has put you through....difference bring i that the former isnt in anyone's hands expect gods (so you cant really do anything about it) whereas the latter is due to someone, who has free will and misuses it?
Reply

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