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Hitchhiker
05-24-2010, 11:42 PM
Greetings! I have read a number of posts in this forum, and am overwhelmed with the support everyone shows to each other. I hope you all can help me, too.

I have a friend who married a muslim woman. They are very much in love, and very happy with each other, but that is only because of the lies.

Shortly after they were married, my friend became an atheist. Knowing that his wife would leave him like the Qu'ran says, he has hidden this from her. He has only told me. I have kept his secret, and maintained the silence for two years. All the while I have tried to convince my friend to tell the truth and face the consequences of his actions.

The reason this has recently become an issue for me, is that they are thinking about having kids. My friend has told me that he will not allow his children to be raised as muslims! Can you imagine such a thing? I admit I am not a muslim, but to lie to your wife and to disrespect your wife like that offends me.

So my question is this: If this were your daughter or your sister, what would you have me do? Should I tell her that her husband is an atheist? or should I stay quiet and hope the truth comes out on its own?

After 2 years, I can't believe she has not seen the signs herself, but they are still together.

In the end, the choice is mine, and I must face the possibility of losing my friend if I tell her. But any advice you have to share would be appreciated!

Thanks!

HH
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-27-2010, 09:30 AM
:sl:
If this were your daughter or your sister, what would you have me do? Should I tell her that her husband is an atheist? or should I stay quiet and hope the truth comes out on its own?
tell his wife or encourage him to tell her himself. if he refuses to tell her, tell her yourself. and then tell her to go and see a shiekh to get the religious perspective of what she is to do.
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Alpha Dude
05-27-2010, 09:56 AM
Hitchhiker, it is very commendable that you being non-muslim feel offended at the actions of your friend.

The bottom line is, Muslims cannot marry atheists. It is in her best interest that you tell her and get rid of that deceptive fool of a husband from her life. I find it odd that he'd want to stay with a muslim despite being atheist anyway.

Tell her that he's been atheist for the past two years. Don't make it seem like it was a recent thing, cos she'd be likely to look for ways to still 'make it work' and make him believe in Islam again. If he has said anything deragotary against Islam, tell her that too, so that she may know just how rigidly set his atheistic beliefs are (so that she would realise there is nothing she can do but move on, instead of staying with him due to some abstract hope for things to get back to how they were).
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revert2007
05-27-2010, 01:18 PM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Greetings! I have read a number of posts in this forum, and am overwhelmed with the support everyone shows to each other. I hope you all can help me, too.

I have a friend who married a muslim woman. They are very much in love, and very happy with each other, but that is only because of the lies.

Shortly after they were married, my friend became an atheist. Knowing that his wife would leave him like the Qu'ran says, he has hidden this from her. He has only told me. I have kept his secret, and maintained the silence for two years. All the while I have tried to convince my friend to tell the truth and face the consequences of his actions.

The reason this has recently become an issue for me, is that they are thinking about having kids. My friend has told me that he will not allow his children to be raised as muslims! Can you imagine such a thing? I admit I am not a muslim, but to lie to your wife and to disrespect your wife like that offends me.

So my question is this: If this were your daughter or your sister, what would you have me do? Should I tell her that her husband is an atheist? or should I stay quiet and hope the truth comes out on its own?

After 2 years, I can't believe she has not seen the signs herself, but they are still together.

In the end, the choice is mine, and I must face the possibility of losing my friend if I tell her. But any advice you have to share would be appreciated!

Thanks!

HH

I have a question here.What was his religious status when he got married?

Well we have discuss a number of time similar issues.Even if your friend is not an atheist yet if he doesn't pray,his wife is not suppose to live with him.Honestly a wife should know if the husband is praying or not.Anyway there is only one solution,send her an e-mail without telling who you are.Tell her the truth.Perhaps your friend might get mad at you but again you are saving this poor sister and her future kids.

If you were a Muslim,I would have adviced you to invite your friend to Islam and encourage him to be a good Muslim.But now I guess it is better to save this sister from the whole complicated situation before they have kids.
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Alpha Dude
05-27-2010, 02:03 PM
Anyway there is only one solution,send her an e-mail without telling who you are.
No, don't do that. Be upfront and tell her face to face. She's hardly going to take the word of an anonymous person telling her something as grave as this. She'll go straight to her husband and he'll lie in her face just to placate her.
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CosmicPathos
05-27-2010, 02:12 PM
we can hope that she loves Allah (swt) more than she loves her husband. What a sad atheist he is. No morals, eh? He decided to deceive his wife, who thinks he is a Muslim, only to enjoy his life as her husband and to copulate with her to produce atheist kids.
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Dagless
05-27-2010, 02:59 PM
Has the wife not noticed he doesn't pray? What about celebrating Eid? What about religious questions which come up every now and then? Or is he acting?

I think this is one of those situations where the husband will lose out whatever the outcome is.

If you tell his wife - she will leave him.

If you don't tell his wife - they may have children and she will see he is raising them as atheists. This will lead to her leaving him, but also taking the children (since young children almost always remain with the mother). This will be worse for him because his kids will get raised Muslim (against his wishes) and he'll lose his wife too.

It is only a question of how much he will lose and the pain involved.
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Woodrow
05-27-2010, 03:07 PM
A marriage based on deception is a betrayal. I suspect the wife is aware of the deception and is in deniel, truth often hurts, but it is only through knowing and accepting the truth a person can make valid decisions. Let the wife make her own decision, but be certain she is basing her decision upon facts and not what she wants to believe.
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Asiyah3
05-27-2010, 03:25 PM
Peace HH,
It'd be strange odd if the wife doesn't suspect her husband's faith. I hope you'll tell your friend's wife the truth before she gets stuck in him.
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cat eyes
05-27-2010, 04:24 PM
are u a girl or a guy? tell his wife. this really is not good. you would want some body to tell you im sure if you were in this situation. im sure she has a hint that her husband has left the fold of islam, one of the common signs is neglecting the salah. mind you she could be totally fooled, i bet he looks like a muslim dose he?
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Snowflake
05-27-2010, 04:33 PM
I commend you for wanting to do the right thing. Your friend's wife's right to decide whether she wants to remain married to an atheist or not has been taken away from her. She is being badly deceived by someone she trusts. What her husband is doing is unspeakably cruel. You must do what is right by her, and mostly yourself. May God inspire you to do justice.
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Muslim Woman
05-27-2010, 05:16 PM
Salaam/Peace

Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
I admit I am not a muslim, but to lie to your wife and to disrespect your wife like that offends me.

thanks a lot for ur understanding . A Muslim woman is not allowed to live with an atheist or non Muslim. So , yes , u should tell her .

If he offeres repentance and come back to Islam , then they can continue married life but it's better to discuss with an Imam / Shiekh.
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revert2007
05-28-2010, 09:37 AM
Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
No, don't do that. Be upfront and tell her face to face. She's hardly going to take the word of an anonymous person telling her something as grave as this. She'll go straight to her husband and he'll lie in her face just to placate her.
hmmm.ok it make sense..what about record him on a video of him confessing the truth?
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 10:16 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by revert2007
hmmm.ok it make sense..what about record him on a video of him confessing the truth?
wouldn't that involve him spying/being decietful?
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happy
05-28-2010, 11:32 AM
If i was you i would give him time and if he don't tell her then i will tell her cuz come this is a human being we are talking because i wouldn't like this to happen to be, nor Would you like this to happen to you? if they have child and she cannot raise him as muslim what would that do to the poor women? no offense but this freind of your need to tell the truth to his wife.
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Snowflake
05-28-2010, 12:44 PM
I don't think he should be given another second. The sister could end up expecting his child. he has had 2 years already. If I knew them I'd have told the sister already. :hmm:
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Rhubarb Tart
05-28-2010, 06:04 PM
Your friend is a very selfish man. He is not thinking about her or his future kids. If you tell her it would help him as well as her. A lot of people will get hurt by this. You have to tell her before they have a child. Yes, you might lose him as your friend but if he continues to act like this, it will completely destroy him. Would you honestly want to stand back and see the bomb go off on his face? What possibly state do you think he would be after he loses his children and wife? And what about the children rights? Do you want them to be brought up in unstable household where they can lose one of their parents or have their parents fighting over them for the rest of their lives?

Give your friend two choices before you tell her:

Either he tells her.

Or

You would go and tell her.

It is not fair not her. It is practically the same as him committing adultery, if not worse. He is a lair and is not the same man she married.imsad
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Hamza Asadullah
05-28-2010, 07:03 PM
Hello there and thank you for coming forward to share your concerns with us. It is commendable that you are willing to tell his wife the truth and you should not waste a second more in doing so lest she becomes pregnant and then things will become much more complicated especially as abortion is forbidden in Islam and also knowing the fact that your friend does not want to raise up his kids as Muslims this would cause a lot of friction between his wife and him in the future.

You have tried your best for 2 years to convince him to tell the truth to his wife but he has been unable to do so, so now it is incumbant on you to tell her the truth as soon as you can as she deserves to know the truth as would you if your wife kept something so big from you for so long. Inevitabley she will be torn and ripped apart but the longer this is left the worst things will be especially if she falls pregnant so act as quickly as you can and delay not a moment more.

So do what is right and don't think about your friendship with this man because he is not a friend who decieves and lies for only he is a friend who benefits you and others around him and is the best towards you and others and not one who causes harm and uses lies and deception.

If you need anymore help and advice with anything at all then please don't hesitate to ask. Thank you
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revert2007
05-28-2010, 07:23 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:


wouldn't that involve him spying/being decietful?
hmmm..do you think he might sue his friend for spying?ok if that doens't work...he needs to tell his friends wife face to face.but i doubt the wife might pretend not to believe.2 years living with a man who doesn't pray?????
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glo
05-29-2010, 03:34 AM
Originally Posted by Dagless
Has the wife not noticed he doesn't pray? What about celebrating Eid? What about religious questions which come up every now and then? Or is he acting?
Perhaps he has kept up the pretense and continued with the religious rituals?

Makes you wonder how many people (of any faith) attend their places of worship and observe religious rituals and traditions without actually believing in God?



Hitchhiker, I really think your friend needs to be open with his wife. Surely, if he loves her, he cannot want to let her have a child and then tell her that he will not let her raise it in her faith!

Make clear to him the devastating effect that would have on his wife and their relationship!
Yes, it will be painful and difficult and it may break the marriage - but if he loves and respects his wife, he must tell her the truth!
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Hitchhiker
05-31-2010, 11:57 PM
Thanks for all the ideas and support! There have been a few questions I will try to answer.

I am a guy. That makes talking to her difficult, she will not see me unless her husband is there. So I will have to tell her infront of my friend.

He claimed he was a theist (not atheist) when they were married. he believed in a generic god, not one described by any religion. He has never followed the Qu'ran or the teachings of Muhammed. He was honest about that, at least.

He does not pray in front of her. He does not support her Halal diet. He does not participate in Islamic holy days.

There is not a Mosque or other Islamic Center in ther area where we live. She wanted to go to the closest one. He took her, but refused to go inside when they got there.

Yes, I think she knows he is an atheist but is choosing to lie to herself.

This will be painful to everyone. My firend brought this upon himself, but are there passages in the Qu'ran that will help her? How would you tell her to minimize the pain?

Thanks Everyone!
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Muslim Woman
06-01-2010, 12:09 AM
Salaam/Peace

Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
...I will have to tell her infront of my friend.

.... How would you tell her to minimize the pain?

!



then ask her in front of her husbnad if Islam allows a Muslimah to live with an athiest ?

And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).

( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #155)


Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. 2:286
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Donia
06-01-2010, 01:16 AM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Thanks for all the ideas and support! There have been a few questions I will try to answer.

I am a guy. That makes talking to her difficult, she will not see me unless her husband is there. So I will have to tell her infront of my friend.

He claimed he was a theist (not atheist) when they were married. he believed in a generic god, not one described by any religion. He has never followed the Qu'ran or the teachings of Muhammed. He was honest about that, at least.

He does not pray in front of her. He does not support her Halal diet. He does not participate in Islamic holy days.

There is not a Mosque or other Islamic Center in ther area where we live. She wanted to go to the closest one. He took her, but refused to go inside when they got there.

Yes, I think she knows he is an atheist but is choosing to lie to herself.

This will be painful to everyone. My firend brought this upon himself, but are there passages in the Qu'ran that will help her? How would you tell her to minimize the pain?

Thanks Everyone!
This is a difficult situation. I thought Muslim women were not allowed to marry non-Muslim men. If I understand your post correctly, your friend was never a Muslim but his wife (who is a Muslim) married him anyway. I am not sure if their marriage is even valid islamically.
If you want to tell her, then go ahead so at least she will know the truth about his change in "status". I'm not sure if it will help anything but Allah knows best.
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Asiyah3
06-01-2010, 08:34 AM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
I am a guy. That makes talking to her difficult, she will not see me unless her husband is there. So I will have to tell her infront of my friend.
Ask her in front of your friend if a muslim woman can marry a non-muslim? And show her the evidence from the Qur'aan:

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

“They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

May Allah grant her patience and guide her to the right path. Ameen.
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Hamza Asadullah
06-01-2010, 12:41 PM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Thanks for all the ideas and support! There have been a few questions I will try to answer.

I am a guy. That makes talking to her difficult, she will not see me unless her husband is there. So I will have to tell her infront of my friend.

He claimed he was a theist (not atheist) when they were married. he believed in a generic god, not one described by any religion. He has never followed the Qu'ran or the teachings of Muhammed. He was honest about that, at least.

He does not pray in front of her. He does not support her Halal diet. He does not participate in Islamic holy days.

There is not a Mosque or other Islamic Center in ther area where we live. She wanted to go to the closest one. He took her, but refused to go inside when they got there.

Yes, I think she knows he is an atheist but is choosing to lie to herself.

This will be painful to everyone. My firend brought this upon himself, but are there passages in the Qu'ran that will help her? How would you tell her to minimize the pain?

Thanks Everyone!
In these situations time is the best healer. It will take a long time for her to come to terms with what has happened to her. The main thing is that she be told as soon as possible for her knowing the truth has been delayed for too long. After that it would be best for her to find comfort with a family member who can console and comfort her through this terrible ordeal in her life. She should also turn to Allah and never ask Allah why this has happened to her because she saw the signs even before marriage and during marriage but she decided to ignore the signs and continue living with her husband thinking that it will go away.

So do not waste anymore time but tell her as soon as you can because if she does become pregnant then things may get much worse and it would be even worse of an ordeal than it already is.
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Hitchhiker
08-26-2010, 03:16 PM
Thanks everyone for your support and advice. It took me a while, but I did tell my friend's wife that she was married to an atheist. I knew it would be painful for us all. I have lost a friend. But mu conscience is clear. I miss my friend, but I know I did the right thing. And I would do it again.

But the hardest part is that she didn't believe me. My friend sat there and was silent the whole time I was telling her. He never disagreed, told me I was wrong, or called me a liar. He said nothing. I don't know what lies he has told her, or why she won't believe the truth, but I have done all I can.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all an update. Thanks Again.

Hitchhiker
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Snowflake
08-26-2010, 03:43 PM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Thanks everyone for your support and advice. It took me a while, but I did tell my friend's wife that she was married to an atheist. I knew it would be painful for us all. I have lost a friend. But mu conscience is clear. I miss my friend, but I know I did the right thing. And I would do it again.

But the hardest part is that she didn't believe me. My friend sat there and was silent the whole time I was telling her. He never disagreed, told me I was wrong, or called me a liar. He said nothing. I don't know what lies he has told her, or why she won't believe the truth, but I have done all I can.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all an update. Thanks Again.

Hitchhiker
Thank you so much Hitchhiker. That's a very brave and amazing thing you have done. Your reward is with Allah. You may not believe God exists, but one of the signs of His existence is that He has given every human being a moral tool which we call a conscience which knows right from wrong. So even though you don’t follow any religious doctrine, it is by that conscience you’re able to decide right from wrong and thereby do good for others when there is no direct benefit in it for yourself - but that it eases your conscience. I pray Allah make His signs clear to you, and guides you to the ultimate Truth. Ameen.
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Muslim Woman
08-26-2010, 11:25 PM
Salaam/ peace

thanks for your courage . As already mentioned in the thread , she knows the Truth but she is not ready to accept it.

May Allah guides her , Ameen.
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Salahudeen
08-27-2010, 05:24 AM
You did the right thing which isn't all ways easy to do. You've lost a friend but your conscious is free from guilt which is a good thing.
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manaal
08-27-2010, 01:04 PM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Shortly after they were married, my friend became an atheist. Knowing that his wife would leave him like the Qu'ran says, he has hidden this from her. He has only told me. I have kept his secret, and maintained the silence for two years. All the while I have tried to convince my friend to tell the truth and face the consequences of his actions.

The reason this has recently become an issue for me, is that they are thinking about having kids. My friend has told me that he will not allow his children to be raised as muslims! Can you imagine such a thing? I admit I am not a muslim, but to lie to your wife and to disrespect your wife like that offends me.
How did your friend become an atheist in the first place? Were you in anyway responsible for it, seeing that you are an atheist too, according to your profile. Why are you appalled that your friend wants to raise his children as atheists too?
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Rhubarb Tart
08-27-2010, 01:41 PM
:salaam:

^^^ Why are you asking these questions? Why shouldn't he be appalled?

He did the right thing otherwise he would have kept his mouth shut.
:bravo:
Well done! :muslimah::rock:
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manaal
08-27-2010, 02:27 PM
Because it all sounds very hypocritical to me.

Sorry, I really DO NOT understand atheism. How do you "become" one anyway?
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Hamza Asadullah
08-27-2010, 03:13 PM
Originally Posted by manaal
Because it all sounds very hypocritical to me.

Sorry, I really DO NOT understand atheism. How do you "become" one anyway?
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister what we have to understand is that Allah gives guidance but he also takes away guidance from whoever he likes. I myself spent a long time debating with athiests and my conclusion is that no matter what you say to them or how much you try to make them understand if their heart is sealed then NOTHING will get through except that Allah unseals their heart and only then will they be open to the truth. Until then all we can do is inform them as best we can in a beautiful manner as mentioned in the Qur'an using wisdom and tact and ask of Allah to unseal the hearts of all those who's hearts are sealed.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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Hitchhiker
08-27-2010, 09:22 PM
Well, I was raised as a christian. but growing up it never "felt right" to me. When I moved away to college, I renounced my religion and have never looked back.

My friend and I had debated about religion a few times before I graduated, but I don't try and convert anyone. I just try and explain why atheism is right for me. He kept his belief in a god, and I graduated and moved away.

More than a year after I left, he called and told me he had become an atheist. This was after he had gotten married.

I am against him lying to his wife. Especially when her beliefs are so important to her. Just by talking to her, anyone can see that she NEEDS to be a muslim. And that she NEEDS to be married to a muslim man. And that when she is ready, she will NEED children. And she will NEED to raise them as muslims. I don't have a problem with any of this. I respect all beliefs. I just don't share them. I believe that anyone should be able to believe what they want.

And I believe that my friend lying to his wife is morally wrong. I also believe that his plans to undermine her beliefs and religious needs when it comes to their children will harm the kids. I believe that if they cannot be totally and completely honsest with each other, they shouldn't be together. And I believe that they should work out their differences before they consider having kids. I'm not aginst him raising atheist kids, I'm against him lying to his wife and disrespecting her beliefs by not giving her a say in how they raise their kids. Especially since it is so important to her.

Hope that clairifies things! I'd be happy to answer anymore questions!

HH
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manaal
08-27-2010, 10:23 PM
Thank you for that. That's what I needed to know.

So is that you do know that God exists, but you choose not to worship him anyway? Or is it that u say there is no god? (Astaghfirullah)
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Hamza Asadullah
08-27-2010, 10:28 PM
Originally Posted by Hitchhiker
Well, I was raised as a christian. but growing up it never "felt right" to me. When I moved away to college, I renounced my religion and have never looked back.

My friend and I had debated about religion a few times before I graduated, but I don't try and convert anyone. I just try and explain why atheism is right for me. He kept his belief in a god, and I graduated and moved away.

More than a year after I left, he called and told me he had become an atheist. This was after he had gotten married.

I am against him lying to his wife. Especially when her beliefs are so important to her. Just by talking to her, anyone can see that she NEEDS to be a muslim. And that she NEEDS to be married to a muslim man. And that when she is ready, she will NEED children. And she will NEED to raise them as muslims. I don't have a problem with any of this. I respect all beliefs. I just don't share them. I believe that anyone should be able to believe what they want.

And I believe that my friend lying to his wife is morally wrong. I also believe that his plans to undermine her beliefs and religious needs when it comes to their children will harm the kids. I believe that if they cannot be totally and completely honsest with each other, they shouldn't be together. And I believe that they should work out their differences before they consider having kids. I'm not aginst him raising atheist kids, I'm against him lying to his wife and disrespecting her beliefs by not giving her a say in how they raise their kids. Especially since it is so important to her.

Hope that clairifies things! I'd be happy to answer anymore questions!

HH
Without a doubt you did the right thing and i commend you for that. He should not hide his beliefs to his wife because she will find out one day and if she finds out after having children then things would be much worser then. It may take a while for things to sink in for his wife but he should not continue to lie to her and it is best you keep away from people like that.

Thank you very much for taking your time out to share your issues with us. I would just like to leave you with a lecture from a convert to Islam who used to be a pastor but came to Islam a number of years ago and since then he has been involved in giving lectures all over the world and i am sure you will find his lecture very thought provoking so i thought i would share it with you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgj6p3JTLg

If you ever have any questions about Islam or about anything else at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you
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Hitchhiker
08-27-2010, 10:59 PM
Originally Posted by manaal
Thank you for that. That's what I needed to know.

So is that you do know that God exists, but you choose not to worship him anyway? Or is it that u say there is no god? (Astaghfirullah)
I believe that there is no god. But I respect that you believe otherwise.
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manaal
08-28-2010, 02:36 AM
**stunned silence**
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Rhubarb Tart
08-28-2010, 08:18 PM
^^^

:sl:

Why are you so shocked?

There were probably atheists in Prophet peace be upon him 's time too.
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Asiyah3
08-28-2010, 08:32 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
^^^

:sl:

Why are you so shocked?

There were probably atheists in Prophet peace be upon him 's time too.
:wa:

When Allah shows you the truth clearly and evidently, it may be hard to understand how others don't. However, Allah guides and makes His signs clear to whom He wills.

:w:
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manaal
08-29-2010, 08:45 AM
Originally Posted by **muslimah**
:wa:

When Allah shows you the truth clearly and evidently, it may be hard to understand how others don't. However, Allah guides and makes His signs clear to whom He wills.

:w:
Yes you are right sis. I think the Christians who turn atheists do so because they find in difficult to understand the concept of the trinity. We, on the other hand beleive in At-Tawheed as described in Surah Ikhlaas.
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Woodrow
08-29-2010, 01:03 PM
Originally Posted by manaal

Yes you are right sis. I think the Christians who turn atheists do so because they find in difficult to understand the concept of the trinity. We, on the other hand beleive in At-Tawheed as described in Surah Ikhlaas.
:sl: Ukhti,

You bring up a very interesting and valid point. This is an area I feel many of us make a grave error when trying to bring Da'wah to Christians. All too often we use the approach of pointing out the errors in Christianity. This will not lead to them accepting Islam. They see our "proving" their belief wrong as proving to them God(swt) does not exist.

To a strong adherent of any faith, the belief in that faith is a strong glue that solidifies their belief in God(swt) if we break that bond we shatter their belief in God(swt). This is why I personally feel Da'wah needs to be showing proof that Islam is correct and should not be an approach to show them their religion is wrong.

Keep in mind a Christian strong in the belief of Christianity does have a very strong desire to serve Allaah(swt). To have them to accept Islam they need to understand Islam is the best way to serve, not have anybody prove to them their worship was wrong. Prove to them they spent a lifetime in error and you will most likely convince them Allaah(swt) does not exist.

Proving another person's belief wrong, will more likely encourage them to be an atheist, rather than guide to Islam.

Very few if any Reverts come to Islam because somebody proved to them their previous belief was wrong, they come because they learned Islam is correct. Islam is the fulfillment of the worship they been seeking, not the destruction of their years of worshiping as they saw as best.

The Evangelical door-to-door Fundies (keep in mind these Evangelical types usually believe they are the only Christians and all others who wear the name Christian are not Christian) use the approach of proving the other person is wrong. Since their main target is Christians, I suspect they are a major cause for the rise of atheism among Christians since the late 1800s. Let us not repeat the error of the Fundies by using their approach in our Da'wah efforts.
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S_87
08-31-2010, 03:15 PM
is there a way you can 'tell her' without telling her?
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