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Rakim28
05-27-2010, 07:26 AM
What is one to do when disowned from a family?
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 04:09 AM
:sl:
depends what the situation is? why are they disowned?

i think its best they try make amends with their family.
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Rakim28
05-28-2010, 05:58 AM
A close friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl for about a year; his parents found out and they were not happy about the situation, they were not happy with her. Now, he had been warned the first time not to be in contact with her; but he did not intentionally go against his parents to hurt them by seeing her again. He broke their trust; and now he is disowned all because of it.

He has been praying to Allah for forgiveness and for his parents to take him back.
What is the best solution for him? He was told to never walk in to town ever again.
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revert2007
05-28-2010, 06:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rakim28
What is one to do when disowned from a family?
Take a break from the family.after some months or years,in sha Allah thinsg will get better..but again...it depends on the situation..
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Myself
05-28-2010, 06:48 AM
stay at a friend's place for a few days until the parents calm down a little. then try and go back, apologise, ask for forgiveness again. inshaAllah, parents will take him back at some point, afterall, they are the parents and they can only stay angry with their children for a certain amount of time.
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 08:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rakim28
A close friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl for about a year; his parents found out and they were not happy about the situation, they were not happy with her. Now, he had been warned the first time not to be in contact with her; but he did not intentionally go against his parents to hurt them by seeing her again. He broke their trust; and now he is disowned all because of it.

He has been praying to Allah for forgiveness and for his parents to take him back.
What is the best solution for him? He was told to never walk in to town ever again.
tell him to keep trying, even if they keep rejecting. he needs to be kind to them as well...thats the way to win them over.
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Rakim28
05-28-2010, 03:12 PM
Thank You all for your replies.
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xsmilesx
05-28-2010, 06:11 PM
If he is still with her, i think he should tell his parents that he wants to get married to her?
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Beardo
05-28-2010, 06:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by xsmilesx
If he is still with her, i think he should tell his parents that he wants to get married to her?
That's one solution, if his parents can handle that.

Though, insha-Allah the tension will die down after a few days.
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Hamza Asadullah
05-28-2010, 07:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rakim28
A close friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl for about a year; his parents found out and they were not happy about the situation, they were not happy with her. Now, he had been warned the first time not to be in contact with her; but he did not intentionally go against his parents to hurt them by seeing her again. He broke their trust; and now he is disowned all because of it.

He has been praying to Allah for forgiveness and for his parents to take him back.
What is the best solution for him? He was told to never walk in to town ever again.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallah for coming forward with your issue. My brother time is the best healer so give it some time and in the meantime go as close to Allah as possible and do not go near haraam relationships as there is never no good in that which is forbidden except heartache, pain and stress as well as the worst of all which is causing the displeasure, anger and wrath of Allah.

So you should continuously repent that you will never repeat such a grave sin and you should try to get as close to Allah as possible by doing your 5 daily prayers at the Masjid and learning about Islam and doing worship of Allah as much as possible.

Make dua to Allah as much as you can to soften your famillies hearts for them to forgive you and take you back and then after a little while just give them a call when their feelings of anger have died down. If they still don't want to forgive you then try and get in touch with an elder of the family for them to mediate this issue on your behalf and their influence may help in your family accepting you back.

You just have to give it a little time and be patient and get as close to Allah as you can and make much dua especially in the latter portion of the night at Tahajjud time and remember for ONLY Allah is the changer of hearts and he can change the state of anyones heart so ask of him and NEVER repeat such a grave sin for you will NEVER find happiness in such haraam relationships but only anguish and pain like you are suffering now.

and Allah knows best in all matters.
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Rakim28
05-29-2010, 12:17 AM
Marriage isn't an option. If anything, it would makes things worse if he was to ever mention it to them. They are not fond of her or her family. He cannot and will not marry without his parents blessing. I told him to move on and do whatever possible to get them back.

@ Hamza: Thanks
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GuCcI
05-30-2010, 09:46 PM
Well since he won't marry if his parents won't agree to it, then he might as well just tell them he's broken off contact with her and I'm sure they'll take him back... I haven't heard of a man being disowned...

but anyway... now what to do about this girl he likes... every where i turn i see this same problem.
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cat eyes
05-30-2010, 10:00 PM
best option here is to leave the girl and go back to his parents.. you can get a girl again but you won't get parents again because i will tell you why and this always happens, any relationship that starts off haraam like meeting alone and other acts, even if they got married the chances of it working out are slim this is usually because all they have done is earned the anger of Allah so what happens if many years down the line the girl leaves him?who is he gona turn to for help? he needs to think long and hard about this. and if they don't get married then its all haraam and i don't see even how they will get any blessings unless they repent and get married on the permission of his parents and asking them forgivness for the pain he has caused.
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