PDA

View Full Version : Phoney people



Ummu Sufyaan
05-27-2010, 10:34 AM
:sl:
i've been wondering something...with people, you can usually tell what type of people they are thorugh thier character and traits...whether we realise it or not, we always give off vibes and these vibes can be an indicator of who we are.

to expand: a lying person can lie through their teeth, but eventually -no matter how good the person is at lying-people come to know the true self of that person becuase without realizing it, they end up contradicting themselves in one way or another and/or somehow "dob" themselves in.

you can usually tell who the sincere and good people are...becuase they do things from their heart and this shows in their actions. and likewise with the not so good and honest person, as i said, eventually this also shows in their actions (or words) as well.

BUT...

can someone get away with their dishonesty...i mean can someone be that good at lying and acting they they go unnoticed :? can someone truly be that good of an actor? is it possible?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
aadil77
05-27-2010, 10:50 AM
I believe the truth always comes out

but I dunno it depends on the reasoning behind their lies, I've lied to protect others and sometimes to prevent a much worser thing, Allah kept those things secret for me. But if you're lying for wrong things then I don't think Allah will let you get away with it, slowly you'll be known to be dishonest and the truth about you will come out, I also believe it shows on your face
Reply

PouringRain
05-27-2010, 01:20 PM
I think there are people who are extremely good at deception and may even avoid detection for a very long time (perhaps even a lifetime). Some examples.....

There are pedophiles who are extremely personable and likable people, and the way they operate is subtle, over time, winning the trust of their victim and even the victims family. That person may go an extremely long time without being caught, because their victim (and family) often feels at fault and shares in the blame for whatever happened, because of the trust that was built and that they let this person into their lives and their home.

Another example is some abusive men. There are abusers who are extremely charismatic and charming. To the world they appear to be the best husband/ man, but behind closed doors they are a monster. When they abuse their wife it is done in ways so that the marks are not easily seen, and the manner in which they abuse leaves the victim feeling at fault and to blame for the actions.

Those are just two examples, and obviously not all pedophiles or abusers fit in those profiles. The ones who do are the scariest, because they are so crafty and cunning.... and so likeable to the world. There are other criminal examples out there also.... and probably even more non-criminal examples. Sure, eventually the person may be caught, but not always. There are reasons why state laws for the two examples I gave often change the laws with regard to being able to punish these types of offenders. It is because so many in the past would slip through the system.
Reply

Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-27-2010, 01:30 PM
Aslaamu Alaaykum. . .
True,By telling if a person is lying you can sometimes tell by their face but not always. . .
I have this problem, i laugh whether im lying or even when not lol(Not that i lie anymore Alhamdulilaah), to be put in a position where im asked if i did something or not during face to face conversation is quite funny for me lol, it just gives me the gigles :-\ i really dont know why lol

anyways people to prove their not lying usually swear by Allaah, some you may know long enough to what they`re like. And true for some people you can tell by their characters what theyre like, but Allaahu Alam
On your Q. Allaah will not let the Liar get away Indeed and ive only seen so called "Good" Liars in movies, but people do tend to get away with little lies
But Again i dont know im sure some people with more knowledge can answer you. . .

I personally think its Impossible to get away, as they may get away in this Dunya but eventually Allaah will judge them by their actions and get what they deserve unless they live by the rules. By Repentence!

Wa Alaaykum Salaam
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Ğħαrєєвαħ
05-27-2010, 01:33 PM
Originally Posted by PouringRain
I think there are people who are extremely good at deception and may even avoid detection for a very long time (perhaps even a lifetime). Some examples.....

There are pedophiles who are extremely personable and likable people, and the way they operate is subtle, over time, winning the trust of their victim and even the victims family. That person may go an extremely long time without being caught, because their victim (and family) often feels at fault and shares in the blame for whatever happened, because of the trust that was built and that they let this person into their lives and their home.

Another example is some abusive men. There are abusers who are extremely charismatic and charming. To the world they appear to be the best husband/ man, but behind closed doors they are a monster. When they abuse their wife it is done in ways so that the marks are not easily seen, and the manner in which they abuse leaves the victim feeling at fault and to blame for the actions.

Those are just two examples, and obviously not all pedophiles or abusers fit in those profiles. The ones who do are the scariest, because they are so crafty and cunning.... and so likeable to the world. There are other criminal examples out there also.... and probably even more non-criminal examples. Sure, eventually the person may be caught, but not always. There are reasons why state laws for the two examples I gave often change the laws with regard to being able to punish these types of offenders. It is because so many in the past would slip through the system.
I agree, these people use their Minds in an evil way for evil things, they will not be successful!
All Shall be Justified on that day!
Reply

cat eyes
05-27-2010, 04:49 PM
a person dose get vibes.. on the other hand, suspicion is from the shayytan also whispering away at us to create war with our brother or sister.

if at anytime a person dose not feel right about something, this is why we have the istikhara prayer.. to take help from our creator in matters that we have no power over. some people try to be some type of fortune teller,''i know this and i know that'' when in fact they know **** sorry

but i believe a person whom is like this have no iman. the prophet (saw) said love for your brother what you would love for yourself.

No one likes to be suspected of being bad in anyway without prove..

and Allah knows best
Reply

Woodrow
05-27-2010, 05:01 PM
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good. They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings. these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
Reply

Snowflake
05-27-2010, 05:08 PM
can someone get away with their dishonesty...i mean can someone be that good at lying and acting they they go unnoticed can someone truly be that good of an actor? is it possible?
SubhanAllah! Yes, some people are so good at pulling the wool over your eyes and even the wool ain't a hundred percent pure. I mean it's happened to me. I always think people are telling the truth even when they are not :embarrass However in this case it's always better to be the victim than the perpetrator. The liars always get caught out sooner or later and they earn Allah's anger. What could be worse :hmm:
Reply

cat eyes
05-27-2010, 05:47 PM
subhanAllah Allah helps the believers if we trust on him.
Reply

Cabdullahi
05-27-2010, 05:52 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan




can someone get away with their dishonesty...i mean can someone be that good at lying and acting they they go unnoticed :? can someone truly be that good of an actor? is it possible?
They can get away with dishonesty but for how long will they be successful?...they will never fail if they're perfect but no one is perfect so they're bound to make a slight mistake which could expose them Allahu3alem
Reply

cat eyes
05-27-2010, 06:01 PM
you will be caught out if you lie all the time because they don't remember what they lied about unless they make themselves believe what they lied is true.:muddlehea
Reply

Neelofar
05-27-2010, 06:17 PM
Salaamz =D
Unfortunately there are ppl in the world hu lie to benefit themselves (manipulate situations to their own favour) and then there are those who are consecutive liars, who jus lie simply for the sake of lying..may Allah SWT guide them and have mercy on them nd inshallah they themselves will repent and ask for forgivness..ppl may think lying is jus a little sin, a "White lie" but jus fink abwt hu ur decieving =|..
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 01:50 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Woodrow
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good. They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings. these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
do you like mentally unstable people???
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 02:15 AM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:

do you like mentally unstable people???
:sl:

Interesting Question what, causes you to think I do from that post?

But to help clarify a person with an amoral personality is not considered mentally unstable nor insane.

I have only met a few I would classify as amoral and I found them to be very despicable, treacherous and dangerous. Often an amoral person they will end up in prison, usually for a violent crime.

I did a bit of research on them in my last career. I am a retired psychologist.
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 02:38 AM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:

do you like mentally unstable people???
:sl:

I just noticed I did not answer the specific question you asked me.


All people are individual, I like anybody who tries to serve Allaah(swt), treats others fairly and is honest and sincere. It makes no difference if they are or are not mentally unstable. Mental instability is an illness and nearly always has a physical cause such as diabetes, high fever, endocrine dysfunction etc. I am not going to dislike a person just because they are sick.
Reply

Donia
05-28-2010, 03:58 AM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good. They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings. these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
:sl:

Would a person with an amoral personality be similar to a sociopath?
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 04:19 AM
:sl:
im sorry woodrow, i meant "do you mean like mentally unstable people." typo...


from your post that i quoted,
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good.They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings.these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
there seems parts of it where it could have been referring to/describing an mentally unstable person since they sometimes dont have certain perceptions and/or are unaware of what they are doing.

i didn't know there was a term amoral. i seemed to have completely missed it in your post.
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 04:38 AM
Originally Posted by Donia
:sl:

Would a person with an amoral personality be similar to a sociopath?
:sl:

An amoral person will be a sociopath, but a sociopath need not be amoral, they can be immoral.
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 04:44 AM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
im sorry woodrow, i meant "do you mean like mentally unstable people." typo...


from your post that i quoted,

there seems parts of it where it could have been referring to/describing an mentally unstable person since they sometimes dont have certain perceptions and/or are unaware of what they are doing.

i didn't know there was a term amoral. i seemed to have completely missed it in your post.
:sl:

amoral is a person who has no morality or immorality. They are without morals. They are mentally stable and are fully aware of what they are doing. They are not aware of any sense of morals and have no concern about other people. Usually treating other people as if they were non-existent or unimportant.
Reply

Donia
05-28-2010, 12:25 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
:sl:

An amoral person will be a sociopath, but a sociopath need not be amoral, they can be immoral.
Interesting. Thank you.

:sl:
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 12:43 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
im sorry woodrow, i meant "do you mean like mentally unstable people." typo...


from your post that i quoted,

there seems parts of it where it could have been referring to/describing an mentally unstable person since they sometimes dont have certain perceptions and/or are unaware of what they are doing.

i didn't know there was a term amoral. i seemed to have completely missed it in your post.
Perhaps this will help. the dictionary definition of amoral:

amoral [eɪˈmɒrəl]
adj
1. having no moral quality; nonmoral
2. without moral standards or principles
amorality [ˌeɪmɒˈrælɪtɪ] n
amorally adv
Usage: Amoral is often wrongly used where immoral is meant. Immoral is properly used to talk about the breaking of moral rules, amoral about people who have no moral code or about places or situations where moral considerations do not apply
Reply

glo
05-28-2010, 12:49 PM
Interesting, Woodrow.

I am assuming that our chances of coming across a sociopath are fairly slim.
Do you know what percentage of the population - say in the U.S. - are considered to be sociopaths?
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 01:35 PM
Originally Posted by glo
Interesting, Woodrow.

I am assuming that our chances of coming across a sociopath are fairly slim.
Do you know what percentage of the population - say in the U.S. - are considered to be sociopaths?
Sociopath is difficult to define. It is often confused with anti-social.

However to be classified as a mental disorder the DSM list the criteria:

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.


* Glibness and Superficial Charm

* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

* Incapacity for Love

* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

* Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world


(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

SOURCE


Now for figures on the number of sociopaths in the USA:

A researcher, Martha Stout, and author of the book "The Sociopath Next Door" calculates that 1 out of every 25 people meet the definition of being a sociopath. this is probably either the truth or very close, but that is based on world wide. As far as being in the USA alone the figures are considerably less than what should be found and only about 1% of the USA has been positively identified as being a sociopath. But it is also recognised that most of the population has not been evaluated and that sociopaths often go unidentified unless the do something that draws attention to themselves.

"Who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Apparently it has little to do with upbringing. Many studies have been done trying to find out what kind of childhood leads to sociopathy. So far, nothing looks likely. They could be from any kind of family. It is partly genetic, and partly mystery.

But researchers have found that the brains of sociopaths function differently than normal people. And their brains function in a way that makes their emotional life unredeemably shallow. And yet they are capable of mimicking emotions like professional actors."

SOURCE
Reply

piXie
05-28-2010, 02:02 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:

can someone get away with their dishonesty...i mean can someone be that good at lying and acting they they go unnoticed :? can someone truly be that good of an actor? is it possible?
:w:

They might be able to fool some people for some of the time, but they can't fool everyone, every time.
Reply

glo
05-28-2010, 02:23 PM
Woodrow, that percentage (of 1 in 25) is much higher than I had expected.

It is certainly my (personal and therefore subjective) perception that as a society (at least here in the UK) we are becoming more self-centered and concerned with our own interests rather than the greater good for all - to the detriment of the vulnerable and marginalized members of society.
I assume that anti-social behaviour is on the rise too. (Although, like I said I have no evidence to support this)

Has the percentage of sociopath been stable? (As much as can be told. I assume it depends on how long the term has even exosted and long the group has been studied) Or is there evidence that it is changing?
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 02:35 PM
Originally Posted by glo
Woodrow, that percentage (of 1 in 25) is much higher than I had expected.

It is certainly my (personal and therefore subjective) perception that as a society (at least here in the UK) we are becoming more self-centered and concerned with our own interests rather than the greater good for all - to the detriment of the vulnerable and marginalized members of society.
I assume that anti-social behaviour is on the rise too. (Although, like I said I have no evidence to support this)

Has the percentage of sociopath been stable? (As much as can be told. I assume it depends on how long the term has even exosted and long the group has been studied) Or is there evidence that it is changing?
The condition was first recognized in the 1930s. Agreed upon methods of identifying it are still not found world wide. I would say that the findings to date only reflect current estimates and insufficient data exists to accurately identify any trends.
Reply

tango92
05-28-2010, 02:38 PM
most fake people get away with it because most people are fake anyway, and the ones that are genuine are not looking for fake "vibes" in people anyway.

i reckon you have to be very self centered before people start noticing.
Reply

glo
05-28-2010, 03:32 PM
I tend to trust that other people are genuine and honest. Some might call that naive or even gullible, and perhaps that is so.

But imagine if we were all suspicious of other people all the time, what kind of society would we live in? Where nobody trusts anybody else and everybody expects the worst of others.

My experience is that most people - of any race, religion, age and gender - tend to be good and kind and honest people. Some more, some less - let's be honest, there is room for improvement in all of us - but on the whole I find most people are okay! Let's be glad of that! :statisfie
Reply

aadil77
05-28-2010, 03:52 PM
Originally Posted by tango92
most fake people get away with it because most people are fake anyway, and the ones that are genuine are not looking for fake "vibes" in people anyway.

i reckon you have to be very self centered before people start noticing.
everyone is fake now a days

on facebook you get people boasting about every little thing they do, how good of a time they had last night etc - they're all fake
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 03:54 PM
Originally Posted by glo
I tend to trust that other people are genuine and honest. Some might call that naive or even gullible, and perhaps that is so.

But imagine if we were all suspicious of other people all the time, what kind of society would we live in? Where nobody trusts anybody else and everybody expects the worst of others.

My experience is that most people - of any race, religion, age and gender - tend to be good and kind and honest people. Some more, some less - let's be honest, there is room for improvement in all of us - but on the whole I find most people are okay! Let's be glad of that! :statisfie
If you look carefully at what you just stated

But imagine if we were all suspicious of other people all the time, what kind of society would we live in? Where nobody trusts anybody else and everybody expects the worst of others.

Now reflect over the criteria of a sociopath. Paranoia/suspicion/distrust are factors of sociopathy

Your answer is there, the society would become a society of sociopaths.

The nation would become a nation of what they feared and despised.
Reply

glo
05-28-2010, 06:27 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
If you look carefully at what you just stated

But imagine if we were all suspicious of other people all the time, what kind of society would we live in? Where nobody trusts anybody else and everybody expects the worst of others.

Now reflect over the criteria of a sociopath. Paranoia/suspicion/distrust are factors of sociopathy

Your answer is there, the society would become a society of sociopaths.

The nation would become a nation of what they feared and despised.
That's an interesting point!
So is the answer to try and be more trusting of each other and to believe in the good in mankind?
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 06:45 PM
Originally Posted by glo
That's an interesting point!
So is the answer to try and be more trusting of each other and to believe in the good in mankind?
We have no control for the actions and thoughts of others. But we each have the ability to be a trust worthy person ourselves. We each need to be a person worthy of being trusted and do our best to avoid tempting others to take advantage. Trust those you know, but protect what you have in the event somebody you do not know desires what you have.



Trust in Allaah(swt) and we will have no need to fear or distrust any man. But, we must never forget it is our responsibility to tie our camel so it does not wander into a neighbors yard and be mistaken as a gift.
Reply

glo
05-28-2010, 06:57 PM
^
Wise words, Woodrow! (Great alliteration! :D)
Thanks for sharing. That's much to ponder about ...
Reply

BeTheChange
01-03-2014, 12:01 AM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good. They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings. these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
I have met an individual who showed no remorse. No compassion. No feelings. It is extremely hard to understand. Even to this day this individual is mysterious to me.

I can't grasp how this individual views the world and how the brain functions. So unique and so different.

May Allah swa protect us all Ameen
Reply

Karl
01-03-2014, 12:17 AM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
There are people who have an amoral personality. This means they actually have no concept of remorse or sorrow. It is as if they were born without a soul. They can not be called evil or good. They are neither moral nor immoral, they have no concept of morality and neither feel fear of recourse for their actions nor any concept of simple human feelings. these people are the most difficult to catch in deceit as they have no concept of what deceit is.
Yes scientists can be like this. They can do horrendous things in the pursuit of science. Also the military is like this and scientists and military work together to make and deploy the most wicked of weapons.
Reply

Karl
01-03-2014, 12:20 AM
Originally Posted by strivingforgood
I have met an individual who showed no remorse. No compassion. No feelings. It is extremely hard to understand. Even to this day this individual is mysterious to me.

I can't grasp how this individual views the world and how the brain functions. So unique and so different.

May Allah swa protect us all Ameen
Maybe they have an advantage. Compassionate people suffer from depression and despair.
Reply

M.I.A.
01-03-2014, 02:06 AM
in my experience everybody has narrow vision.

we see the world through our own eyes (perspective) and even if you think back once a day and say i should not have done that...

there are probably a hundred other times that you probably have not even noticed.


and to think that you encounter or interact with hundreds of people every day, its not surprising.

the funny thing is that you think people are constant in character to mean constant in personality..

this is not the case.


i dont think i can explain it, but imagine you were deconstructed brick by brick and then forced to rebuild yourself.. thats when you realise who you are.

or who people want you to be.


so i dont make judgement calls on character anymore.. its hard to explain, i just avoid those that would make me into something i am not.. whenever i can.

i feel empathy for phony people.. although opening post probably does not..


its like if you were deconstructed brick by brick and forced to rebuild yourself.. you would probably never show that house to anybody.



the flip side is that for every person who does not want to be who they are, there are others that cant see past themselves.

although most people are unable to see anything other than reality, how on earth can somebody reprogram themselves?


a delusional person would say its a world full of angels and demons..

a sane person would be able to tell them apart.



unfortunately, if it translates as friend or foe.. then perspective is everything.


can someone get away with their dishonesty...i mean can someone be that good at lying and acting they they go unnoticed can someone truly be that good of an actor? is it possible?


i have been to places where people tell the truth even when they are lying.. although it seems no good comes of it.

and i have heard people that are disregarded even when telling the truth...

authority is god given it seems.


and again, everybody has there own perspective.





(imo if one finds the wrong perspective then it is the exact misguidance mentioned in the quran, you would probably think you were better of just being who you were)


Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
you can usually tell who the sincere and good people are...becuase they do things from their heart and this shows in their actions. and likewise with the not so good and honest person, as i said, eventually this also shows in their actions (or words) as well.

it is easy to be sincere when not travelling up hill.. in my pessimistic opinion.

when times are hard, people develop and grow.. probably without even knowing.
Reply

ardianto
01-03-2014, 03:56 PM
As long as we have clean heart, we should not afraid to be ourselves. Don't worry, there are always people who can accept us, as long as we can accept other people too.

:)
Reply

Karl
01-19-2014, 10:09 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
Sociopath is difficult to define. It is often confused with anti-social.

However to be classified as a mental disorder the DSM list the criteria:

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.


* Glibness and Superficial Charm

* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

* Incapacity for Love

* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

* Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world


(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

SOURCE


Now for figures on the number of sociopaths in the USA:

A researcher, Martha Stout, and author of the book "The Sociopath Next Door" calculates that 1 out of every 25 people meet the definition of being a sociopath. this is probably either the truth or very close, but that is based on world wide. As far as being in the USA alone the figures are considerably less than what should be found and only about 1% of the USA has been positively identified as being a sociopath. But it is also recognised that most of the population has not been evaluated and that sociopaths often go unidentified unless the do something that draws attention to themselves.

"Who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Apparently it has little to do with upbringing. Many studies have been done trying to find out what kind of childhood leads to sociopathy. So far, nothing looks likely. They could be from any kind of family. It is partly genetic, and partly mystery.

But researchers have found that the brains of sociopaths function differently than normal people. And their brains function in a way that makes their emotional life unredeemably shallow. And yet they are capable of mimicking emotions like professional actors."

SOURCE
Wow, that sounds like the average Zionist.
I would say there would be more sociopaths in the USA, as most of that lifestyle sounds like "the American way".
I have read some literature from some other shrinks and they think the "sociopath" is too pigeon holed, too simplistic, a sort of way to label people without full understanding of the individual. It's a bit like the thinking that left handed people were of the devil or something bad in early days.
That is the problem with people, they always want to catalogue everything and put them into nice little boxes with labels. I suppose it gives them a false sense of security and purpose... and a job.
Reply

ardianto
01-20-2014, 02:04 PM
One day me and my friend visited a place and we met a good looking guy, around 30 years old. I didn't realize who was he until someone called his name. "Is he ........?" I asked my friend "Yes!" my friend said.

Few day later we visited the same place and met that guy again. And when we would back home he asked me "Hei, may I ride in your car until ........ ?". Then he rode in my car until to a street. He smile at me when he out from my car and said politely "Thank you very much".

That was the last time I saw him. Around a week later I read in my newspaper, he was murdered!

But I was not wonder. I had heard his reputation in crime. And police said, that murder related to crime he had ever done.

How was he?. Do not thinking he was scary guy. He was nice and pleasant good looking guy. That's my impression when I met and talked with him twice.

Was he phoney person?.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!