/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Depressed. Bored. Lonely. Unhappy with where I am in life, but in a rut.



anonymous
05-27-2010, 12:55 PM
Asalamalaikum brothers and sisters.
I don't know what to do with myself these days.
If life had a 'quit' option.. lately, I feel like I would take it. But alhamdulillah that's not an option.
So here I am. Completely suspended.
I'm a brother.
And I'm just...Very unhappy.
I'm unhappy with my job.
I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.
I'm unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.
I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.
I'm unhappy with still being single. I could use that other shoulder to (metaphorically) cry on. Even though, I obviously know that my apparent neediness in this post is telltale sign it would be unfair for me to rope anyone into my life right now.
I'm beginning to feel I'm capable of doing nothing else, or chasing my dreams and I'm stuck in this cycle that I'm just completely depressed in.

Then I have that second win, and think "Hey, I can tackle it all at once" when I know I can't.

I've had a few things happen in recent times, and I know of a few more coming up inshaAllah.
It's almost like hit after hit after hit after hit.

I was driving a workmate home tonight, and they straight out asked me what was going on with me lately...And I pretty much just broke. Things are just getting too much for me, I'm like, emotionally exhausted.
I feel like I'm breaking down.
I'm constantly on the verge of tears.

I don't know what to do.
Alhamdulillah, of course I know Allah (swt) will not burden a soul with more than it can handle. But, I just feel I can't keep going on alone with all of this. I need someone I can talk to, but I feel so embarassed and uncomfortable about it all. I know repressing it all makes it worse...

I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
anonymous
05-27-2010, 06:05 PM
alaykum salam brother
I have the same feeling as you do.
Reply

Dagless
05-27-2010, 06:28 PM
By saying you would take the "quit" option if it existed, shows that you might have some kind of depression and need to see a doc.
There are many people in worse situations than you. Take time to think about what makes you happy. Aim for those things. If you don't like your job then look for a new one, if you don't like your friends; change them. Get a hobby. Don't sit back, all this is in your hands. Do all you can, pray and trust in God.
Reply

Neelofar
05-27-2010, 06:43 PM
Salaamz =D

Right you! =P Ovyusly I don't personally know you but I'm sure everyone hu readz this thread will he able to relate to wah ur gwin thru in some shape, form or manner =) don't worry abwt venting..thaw wah we as your brothers and sisters are hear for - to listen nd help you. This is just a test, so whatever comes ur way, whatever sorrow, just remember that out beloved prophet Muhammed SAW went thru much worse and he's helped improve our condition in this world soo much and we shud be thankful 4 tht. Newayzzz I hope this helps and ask Allah SWT for strength and guidance to help you get thru ur difficult times..

1. Allah uses problems to DIRECT you.
Sometimes Allah must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? “Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.”

2. Allah uses problems to INSPECT you.
People are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has Allah tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about
you? “When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.”

3. Allah uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove…. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something… health, money, a relationship. .. by losing it. “It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws.”

4. Allah uses problems to PROTECT you.
A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management’s actions were eventually discovered. “You intended to harm me, but Allah intended it for good…

5. Allah uses problems to PERFECT you.
Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. Allah is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to Allah and your character are the only two things you’re going to take with you into eternity. “We can rejoice when we run into problems…they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust Allah more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.”
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Neelofar
05-27-2010, 06:48 PM
Salaamz =D

I made a few grammatical errors in my earlier post! Sorry =(

*thas wah we as ur brothers nd sisters are here for
Reply

glo
05-27-2010, 08:06 PM
It sounds like God is bringing you to a point where you have to open up to somebody and spill out how you feel!

Men are much more likely to bottle their feelings up than women are. Women tend to share their feelings with each other much more openly and readily.

Try to find somebody you can trust and who you can share your feelings with.
We are not meant to tackle our problems alone. That's why God made us to be social beings!

Do you have a friend you can trust? A member of your family? Somebody at the mosque? A counsellor?

Asking for help and advice does not make you weak (in case that's what you are feeling). It might be the bravest thing you ever did!!

I hope and pray that things work out for you.
Reply

o2a1
05-28-2010, 01:00 AM
there was a verse in the quran that i read recently saying whether light or heavy in burden strive for the way of Allah.. i was just as u were.. perhaps u need to sacrifice bit by bit taking out the bad habits to earn the happiness.... habits are an illusion.. it is tough at first but it gets easier.. i know exactly where u stand.. i have been there brother.. read the english quran daily.. build yourself up slowly .. and try.. dont let the bad things get to you.. try looking at the good things and avoid the bad.. inshallah Allah(subhana wa ta ala) will help you
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
05-28-2010, 03:18 AM
:sl:
1. make dua
2 be patient. without these 2 everything will be a lot worse then it really is.

now to get to your problem. life is a test. you know that right?

do you pray? are you religious...this always helps through hardships. if you dont pray, or aren't religious, this is where you have to/should start.

there are practical steps you can take to improve your situation. perhaps you feel bored and lonely becuase you have no real direction in life and/or you do have a direction, expect you dont know what to do about it. in this case, you need to take practical changes. most of those things you mention can easily be reversed with a little effort inshallah.

but before this, you have to remember if you want things to work for you, you have to work for them as well. (i cannot emphasize that enough) this is like prerequisite to change...in other words, if you dont have this, then you cant change. always remember that nothing will change until you bother to take the initiate and put the effort in to change it yourself. comprehende?

the following is just something for you to think about. you dont have to answer them if you feel they are too personal...but contemplate them and just genuinely think of ways you could improve your situation.

I'm unhappy with my job.
loads of people are in the same shoes. whats making you unhappy with our job? not the right one? bad people? what can you personally do to make your work environment better. if you dont like your work, take some reading material to read if you have the time. listen to something beneficial whilst your working eg a nahseed, lecture, quran.

I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.
in which way? if this affects your iman, you need to ditch them. perhaps advise them first if you can, but if they are that bad for your iman, it would be best to find new ones.

I'm unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.
what are your bad habits? whats leads you to them? what is their cause? have you ever tried to fix them?

I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.
do you make yourself 'apart' of that community? sometimes we wonder why (for eg) we dont have friends, but dont realize we dont really put the effort into finding any.

I'm unhappy with still being single. I could use that other shoulder to (metaphorically) cry on. Even though, I obviously know that my apparent neediness in this post is telltale sign it would be unfair for me to rope anyone into my life right now.
when people get married, they aren't usually perfect and have some sort negative thing about them in one way or another. should they not get married? as long as you know how to deal with/understand/fulfill the rights of your wife/other half, thats basically all you need to know. if your problems are even affecting this, then yes sort yourself out first, get advise and learn about marriage then get married. (i dont mean to be judgmental but its just advise to make you realize where the problem is, so that it can be fixed).

other than that, as long as your "neediness" doesn't affect your marriage in a bad way then it shouldn't be a problem. (to me) it sounds like your maybe going through a period of low-self esteem and minor problems that can be sorted...something everyone goes through, even when married.

I'm beginning to feel I'm capable of doing nothing else, or chasing my dreams and I'm stuck in this cycle that I'm just completely depressed in.
your going to keep staying stuck in it if you let yourself. you should make dua in this situation for Allah to make a way out for you and to keep you strong.

Then I have that second win, and think "Hey, I can tackle it all at once" when I know I can't.
you need dua and strength for this situation as well.

you probably feel like that becuase after you've have a long period of demotivativation, out of the blue you suddenly feel all energized so you feel that you can/want to do whatever it is, all at once (BIG mistake)
if this is the case, you probably feel hopeless shortly after trying and not getting anywhere? you probably think that you've failed to an extent and thus sit back and let life take drag you behind it? "whats the point" you think "if i try im only going to fail" right?

one thing i believe why people give up easily is because after a long period of demotivation/hardship when suddenly they feel energized, they take on too much at once. as a result they probably dont get accomplish what it is they want and thus consider themselves to have failed and thus they feel hopeless. this is only after a couple of tries.

they think its because they are the ones that are hopeless and its specific to only then/people like that these "failures" happen to...so as i said, they give up easily whereas the reality is that they aren't taking the proper steps and are being far too hasty in trying to improve their situation. alot of thing that require success need small steps. very small ones. they also need paitence when you feel like giving up due to your feelings that you are a failure (these thoughts are like poison so take no notice of them). dont give up, but perhaps analyze what and where you are going wrong and try to figure if there is another way to reach your goals. giving up after the first try of failing is plain silly and just dramatic. always think outside the square and contemplate what other methods could be used? perhaps when you take on whatever it is you may be in a bad mood? in that case, let yourself have a break, its not going to kill. perhaps you need peoples help and advice in trying to accomplish whatever it is? do some research and get some help...again its not going to kill. do what you need to do, but dont give up after only 2 tries. keep looking and working forward.

so to summarize:
realize that its not you per se with the problem/you're not a failure, but perhaps the way you are approaching things.
take small steps
dont give up easily and keep thinking and implementing that they maybe other ways you can reach your goals.


you shouldn't feel embarrassed to talk about your problems. i know you are a male and to you guys it makes you feel all girly (?) to talk about your problems, but really you're just being dramatic and theres really nothing to worry about-especially since NOT talking about them may cause you more problems-no thats not a very manly way to handle your problems, is it?


whatever you do always keep your head above water-especially at the times you feel that your drowning...at this time you will really know the value and virtue of patience...before that, patience is just a habit you may have or its just something you have to do...but at breaking point-this is truly paitence.

patience is very good for the soul...its helps it think clearly when everything else is muggy. its the rope you hold unto when everything else let's go. its build a confidence in you. its brings sweetness to the heart and soul.
its a good companion....

when that moment comes when you feel like breaking down and you feel all hope is lost dont sit and mope about it (its very tempting, but it really doesn't help), let that be your foundation for change. turn every negative into a positive. it is hard work but 1) it is worth it in the end and 2) the best way to accomplish this is ALWAYS start with small steps...once you feel comfortable with the pace your at and feel that you can take on some more, then do so. but for now, start small as it will give you a sense of accomplishment-which inshallah will later of develop into sweeter fruits.

and another good way to help you through your problems is to remember to smile...and try to be in a good and friendly mood even when upset. those dark thoughts overtake you and you forget to smile and be a normal person.
Reply

revert2007
05-28-2010, 04:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Asalamalaikum brothers and sisters.
I don't know what to do with myself these days.
If life had a 'quit' option.. lately, I feel like I would take it. But alhamdulillah that's not an option.
So here I am. Completely suspended.
I'm a brother.
And I'm just...Very unhappy.
I'm unhappy with my job.
I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.
I'm unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.
I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.
I'm unhappy with still being single. I could use that other shoulder to (metaphorically) cry on. Even though, I obviously know that my apparent neediness in this post is telltale sign it would be unfair for me to rope anyone into my life right now.
I'm beginning to feel I'm capable of doing nothing else, or chasing my dreams and I'm stuck in this cycle that I'm just completely depressed in.

Then I have that second win, and think "Hey, I can tackle it all at once" when I know I can't.

I've had a few things happen in recent times, and I know of a few more coming up inshaAllah.
It's almost like hit after hit after hit after hit.

I was driving a workmate home tonight, and they straight out asked me what was going on with me lately...And I pretty much just broke. Things are just getting too much for me, I'm like, emotionally exhausted.
I feel like I'm breaking down.
I'm constantly on the verge of tears.

I don't know what to do.
Alhamdulillah, of course I know Allah (swt) will not burden a soul with more than it can handle. But, I just feel I can't keep going on alone with all of this. I need someone I can talk to, but I feel so embarassed and uncomfortable about it all. I know repressing it all makes it worse...

I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening.
Assalamualikum.Where shall I begin?

First of all congratulation on seeking help from Allah The Exalted then to you brothers and sisters in Islam.No man is an island and all of us need each other.Alhamdulilah.


Every human go through this phase you are going through now and it is absolutely normal.Each and everyone of us go through differently.I personally went through the same feeling which I prefer to call depression.Stress was only the beginning and if you did not overcome your stress,it will end up with depression.The key for depression is WORSHIP.

Now the problem is not you but your soul.Your soul is the one suffering at this point.So what can you do?Have sabr or the better is by having sabr jamil :).Do you still remember Surah Yusuf?Do you still remmeber how Yusuf's father (May Allah bless them) went through the difficulties by having sabr jamil?

We cannot avoide Allah's test or Allah's punishment but we can handle it wisely in sha Allah.

Some of the things you mentioned is related to dunya such as job,life partner..do not let these things take you away from Allah.If you are jobless,then in sha Allah there is something good waiting for you and it is Allah's will.If you are single then it is Allah's will as well.

And about the bad habbits..you can repent and change yourself in sha Allah.The most important thing is that you know there is something wrong with you.Tackling the problem is more important than curing it.Now how can you cure yourself in sha Allah?WORSHIP...visit the mosque frequently and increase your prayer and read quran.Talk to Allah and repent sincerely.All of us do sins.and Allah is the One forgives all our sins.

If you are happy with some people and being with them bring harms to you and your deen,stay away from them.Choose you friends wisely.If they are non muslims,do dawah to them.If the are muslims but not practising,do dawah again but before that,prepare yourself in sha Allah.

How can you say you are not a part of any community?You are apart of the world's most threatening community :)and be proud of it.

I suggest you should write down the bad things happening to you and the good things as well.Lets see which list goes more.I bet your good list- as you might forget to mention how lucky you are to have your sight to see the beauty of Allah's Creation,how luck you are to have hearing to listen to Allah's words(Quran),how lucky you are to be alive so that you can repent before it is too late.

There are many people out there are worrying about where to find food or where to sleep because no shelter.Alhamdulilah we are not one of them and may Allah protect us from such things ameen.

Life=Test
Worship=Revision
Hereafter=Examination
Jannah/Hell=Result


No matter how bad things can go,never ever wish for death as Muslims know very well that death is not the solution but WORSHIP and REPENTANCE is

You can always talk to Allah and yes you can talk to us in sha Allah.

May Allah help you and protect you.ameen
Assalamualikum.
Reply

Woodrow
05-28-2010, 04:30 AM
:sl:

I am very much envious of you. If only I had the time and years to engage in the challanges and learning experiences you have in front of you. Look at this things you call depression and discover what an amazing blessing they are for you and what joys you now will encounter. You are having the pleasure of taking the scenic route through this highway called life. You are about to venture onto the road less taken and will see and experience thing that those stuck on the free way will never see. The road will have some bumps and many twists and turns, but the scenery is great and the ride will take you places many will never dream of.


format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Asalamalaikum brothers and sisters.
I don't know what to do with myself these days.
If life had a 'quit' option.. lately, I feel like I would take it. But alhamdulillah that's not an option.
So here I am. Completely suspended.

Dear akhi, You are not suspended. You paused a a rest stop to read the map.

I'm a brother.
And I'm just...Very unhappy.

Use this time as an incentive to venture forth into roads you have not traveled. Seek now ways to serve Allaah(swt) his work is always very interesting.



I'm unhappy with my job.

Look at this as justification to increase your education. It is a chance to seek new doors and have no fear of stepping into them.

I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.


As you are on this path, Stop and remove the destructive weeds that block your view of the flowers.



I''m unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.

What a wonerful time to increase you deen and grow in love for Allaah(swt) Now is the time to make Du'a thanking Allaah(swt) for making you aware life is meaningless without full submission to Allaah(swt)




I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.

This is the time to become active on the path. You need to drive the car and approach the community. The community will not come to you you need to go to it and be willing to accept the Ummah as your brother's and sisters. The Masjid is a good place to find the Ummah.

I'm unhappy with still being single. I could use that other shoulder to (metaphorically) cry on. Even though, I obviously know that my apparent neediness in this post is telltale sign it would be unfair for me to rope anyone into my life right now.

It is wise to know that you do not just want a wife, you know you need one. This thought will help you decide what woman is best for you. Yes you do have choice even if you do not yet know who they are. But, you will know what needs to be compatible to insure it will be a life long marriage.
I'm beginning to feel I'm capable of doing nothing else, or chasing my dreams and I'm stuck in this cycle that I'm just completely depressed in.

Then I have that second win, and think "Hey, I can tackle it all at once" when I know I can't.

Just taking the first step on this beautiful journey has brought you wisdom.

I've had a few things happen in recent times, and I know of a few more coming up inshaAllah.
It's almost like hit after hit after hit after hit.

Which also gives you the opportunity to find buffer pillows, seek alternatives and engage in deep sincere Du'as to overcome, these yet to be roadblocks. Always remember, Allaah(swt) will not let you face road blocks without giving you good suspension supports or a detour to bypass them.

I was driving a workmate home tonight, and they straight out asked me what was going on with me lately...And I pretty much just broke. Things are just getting too much for me, I'm like, emotionally exhausted.
I feel like I'm breaking down.
I'm constantly on the verge of tears.

More wisdom, you are fast learning that tears need not be a weakness and can be cleansing water that washes away pain.

I don't know what to do.
Alhamdulillah, of course I know Allah (swt) will not burden a soul with more than it can handle. But, I just feel I can't keep going on alone with all of this. I need someone I can talk to, but I feel so embarassed and uncomfortable about it all. I know repressing it all makes it worse...

I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening.

This is all scenery along the road Allaah(swt) has picked for you. Find beauty in the scenery and look upon it as a joy and challenge, not as an insurmountable ordeal



My dua is that you will find the joy of this path. I wish I had that path to travel again instead of being very close to my destination. It was a very good and enjoyable path in spite of the pain and delays it took me through. It was a wonderful trip I was blessed to have been given and a gift that I do not have to travel it again.
Reply

shuraimfan4lyf
05-28-2010, 04:45 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by o2a1
there was a verse in the quran that i read recently saying whether light or heavy in burden strive for the way of Allah.. i was just as u were.. perhaps u need to sacrifice bit by bit taking out the bad habits to earn the happiness.... habits are an illusion.. it is tough at first but it gets easier.. i know exactly where u stand.. i have been there brother.. read the english quran daily.. build yourself up slowly .. and try.. dont let the bad things get to you.. try looking at the good things and avoid the bad.. inshallah Allah(subhana wa ta ala) will help you
:salamext:



March forth, whether you are light (being healthy, young and wealthy) or heavy (being ill, old and poor), strive hard with your wealth and your lives in the Cause of Allah. This is better for you, if you but knew. Surat At-Tawba Verse 41.

Firstly,I advise you to seek refuge from Shaytan and make Wudu, and pray 2 rakat and ask Allah to guide you. Many people here gave great advices Alhamdulillah. An Advise given by Sheikh Al Islam Ibn Taymiyah(May Allah have mercy on him).

Praise be to Allaah.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked the following question:

I ask the shaykh and imaam, the follower of the salaf (earlier generations) and the leader of the later generations, the most knowledgeable man whom I have met in the east or the west, Taqiy al-Deen Abu’l-Abbaas Ahmad Ibn Taymiyah, to advise me of something that will guide me in my worldly and religious affairs.

He (may Allaah have mercy on him) replied as follows:

With regard to advice, I do not know of any advice more beneficial than the advice of Allaah and His Messenger, for those who understand it and follow it:

“And verily, We have recommended to the people of the Scripture before you, and to you (O Muslims) that you (all) fear Allaah, and keep your duty to Him”[al-Nisaa’ 4:131]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Mu’aadh, when he sent him to Yemen, “O Mu’aadh, fear Allaah wherever you are, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed, and it will wipe it out, and treat people in a kind manner.” Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him) was held in high esteem by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he said to him, “O Mu’aadh, by Allaah I love you.” And he used to let him ride behind him. It was narrated that he was the most knowledgeable of this ummah concerning halaal and haraam, that he will be gathered (on the Day of Resurrection) one step ahead of the scholars. One of his virtues is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent him to Yemen to convey the message from him, as a daa’iyah, mufti and judge for the people of Yemen. And he used to liken him to Ibraaheem (peace be upon him), and Ibraaheem was a leader of mankind.

And Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say that Mu’aadh was an ummah (a leader having all the good righteous qualities), obedient to Allaah, and he was not one of the mushrikeen (cf. al-Nahl 16:120), likening him to Ibraaheem (peace be upon him).

Moreover, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave him this advice, so we should note that it is concise and comprehensive. It is like that for the one who understands it, even though it is an interpretation of advice given in the Qur’aan.

With regard to its conciseness, that is because each person has two duties: his duty towards Allaah and his duty towards others. It is inevitable that he will fall short sometimes with regard to those duties, either by failing to do something he is commanded to do or by doing something he is forbidden to do. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Fear Allaah wherever you are.” This is a comprehensive phrase. The words “wherever you are” refer to the need for taqwa in secret and in the open. Then he said: “and follow up a bad deed with a good deed, and it will wipe it out”. For when the doctor sees a patient and realizes that he has ingested something harmful, he will tell him to take something that is good for him. Sin is something inevitable for man, so the smart man is the one who keeps doing good deeds so that they will wipe out his bad deeds.

In the wording of the hadeeth, the word sayi’ah (bad deed) is mentioned first, even though it is the object, because the aim here is to wipe out bad deeds, not to emphasize good deeds.

The good deeds should be of a similar nature to the bad deeds, for that will be more effective in wiping them out. The consequences of sin may be erased by several things, the first of which is repentance, and the second is seeking forgiveness (istighfaar) without repenting, for Allaah may forgive him in response to his du’aa’ even though he has not repented. But if repentance and seeking forgiveness are combined, this is perfect. The third thing is doing righteous deeds that expiate for sin.

With regard to specific acts of expiation, such as those prescribed for one who has intercourse during the day in Ramadaan, one who divorces his wife by zihaar (a jaahili form of divorce by which a man says to his wife “You are to me as my mother’s back), the one who commits some actions which are forbidden during Hajj or who fails to fulfil some of its obligations and the one who hunts during Hajj, these expiations are of four types: offering a sacrifice, freeing a slave, giving in charity and fasting. With regard to kinds of expiation that are not specified, as Hudhayfah said to ‘Umar: The fitnah faced by a man (i.e., his shortcomings with regard to religious duties) because of his family, wealth and children may be expiated by prayer, fasting, charity and enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil. This is indicated by the Qur’aan and the saheeh ahaadeeth which speak of expiation via the five daily prayers, Jumu’ah, fasting, Hajj and all the actions concerning which it is said, whoever says such and such or does such and such, he will be forgiven, or his previous sins will be forgiven. There are many such reports in the books of Sunan, especially those books which have been written concerning virtuous deeds.

It should be noted that paying attention to such matters is one of the things of which man is in the greatest need. When a person reaches the age of puberty, especially in these times and similar periods which resemble the time of jaahiliyyah in so many ways, the person who grows up among knowledgeable and religious people may be affected by matters of jaahiliyyah to some extent, so how about others?

In al-Saheehayn it is narrated in the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will follow the path of those who came before you step by step, so that even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will enter it too.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, do you mean the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” This report is confirmed by the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“so enjoy your portion (awhile) as those before you enjoyed their portion (awhile); and you indulged in play and pastime (and in telling lies against Allaah and His Messenger Muhammad) as they indulged in play and pastime”

[al-Tawbah 9:69]

And there are further corroborating reports in the saheeh and hasan ahaadeeth. This is something which affects those among the elite who claim to be religiously committed, as more than one of the salaf, including Ibn ‘Uyayanah, said. For many of the characteristics of the Jews are things from which some of those who claim to be knowledgeable are suffering, and many of the characteristics of the Christians are things from which some of those who claim to be religiously-committed are suffering – as is clear to everyone who understands the religion of Islam with which Allaah sent Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then tries to understand people in the light of Islam.

If this is the case, then the one whose heart Allaah opens to Islam will be following light from his Lord, for he was dead then Allaah revived him and gave him light by which to walk among mankind. So he will inevitably notice the characteristics of jaahiliyyah and the path of the two nations with whom Allaah is angry and who have gone astray, namely the Jews and Christians, and he will see that he is also afflicted with some of that.

The most useful thing that both the elite and the common folk may know is that which will cleanse their souls of these bad effects, and that is following bad deeds with good deeds. Good deeds are those which Allaah has encouraged on the lips of the final Prophet, whether they are actions, attitudes or characteristics. Among the things which remove the consequences of sin are disasters or calamities which expiate sin; these include all kinds of anxiety, grief or harm with regard to wealth, honour, one’s body, and so on, but which are not brought about by a person’s own actions.

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had stated the rights of Allaah with regard to doing righteous deeds and putting right bad deeds, he then said, “and treat people in a kind manner”. This refers to one’s duty towards other people. A good attitude towards other people is based on maintaining contact with one who cuts you off by greeting him with salaam, honouring him, making du’aa’ for him, praying for forgiveness for him, praising him and visiting him; giving to one who has deprived you of knowledge, benefits and money; forgiving one who has wronged you with regard to blood, wealth or honour. Some of these matters are waajib (obligatory) and some are mustahabb (encouraged).

With regard to the “exalted standard of character” [al-Qalam 68:4] with which Allaah described Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), this is the religion which includes all that Allaah has enjoined. Hence Mujaahid said that he was the interpretation of the Qur’aan, as ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “His character was the Qur’aan.” The essence of his character was that he hastened to do what Allaah loves with a willing spirit and an open heart. All of this may be summed up in the word taqwa (fear of Allaah), which includes doing everything that Allaah has enjoined whether it is waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (recommended), and avoiding all that He has forbidden, whether it is haraam (forbidden) or makrooh (disliked). This combines both duties towards Allaah and duties towards other people. But as taqwa may sometimes mean fearing the punishment which makes one refrain from forbidden things, it was explained in the hadeeth of Mu’aadh. Similarly, in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with them) which was narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi, “it was said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, which thing most commonly brings people into Paradise?’ He said, ‘Fear of Allaah (taqwa) and a good attitude.’ It was said, ‘And which thing most commonly brings people into Hell?’ He said, ‘The two hollow things: the mouth and the private parts.’”

In al-Saheeh it is narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most perfect of the believers in faith is the one who is best in attitude.” So he connected perfection of faith to good attitude. It is well known that faith is all fear of Allaah (taqwa), but this is not the place to discuss the basic principles and minor details of that. This is the whole of religion, but the source of goodness is sincere devotion of the slave to his Lord, worshipping Him alone and seeking His help alone, as in the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything)” [al-Faatihah 1:5]

“So worship Him (O Muhammad) and put your trust in Him”[Hood 11:123]

“in Him I trust and unto Him I repent”[Hood 11:88]

“so seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and be grateful to Him” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:17]

Thus the slave does away with any hope of benefiting from created beings and does not strive for their sake, and he focuses all his concern on his Lord, by praying to him for all his needs, fears, etc., and striving to do all that He loves.

Quoted from the essay al-Wasiyyah al-Jaami’ah li khayr al-Sunya wa’l-Aakhirah by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah

Some duas for depression.

Praise be to Allaah.

In al-Saheehayn it was reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when he felt distressed:

“La ilaaha ill-Allaah al-‘Azeem ul-Haleem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb il-‘arsh il-‘azeem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb is-samawaati wa Rabb il-ard wa Rabb il-‘arsh il-kareem (there is no god except Allaah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allaah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne; there is no god except Allaah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne).”

And it was reported from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when something upset him:

“Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever-Living One, O Everlasting One, by Your mercy I seek help).”

And it was reported that Asmaa’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Shall I not teach you some words to say when you feel distressed? ‘Allaah, Allaah, Rabbee laa ushriku bihi shay’an (Allaah, Allaah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him).’”

It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’

- but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.”

Al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, edited by Shaykh al-Albaani, p. 72 Taken from Islam-Qa.
Reply

Snowflake
05-29-2010, 01:26 PM
I'm unhappy with my job.
I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.
I'm unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.
I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.
I'm unhappy with still being single.
Assalamu alaykum,

Do you know you can change each single one of those situations?

I know right now you feel so overwhelmed by everything that you wish it was possible to change everything in the blink of an eye. But you have to take one thing at a time and one day at a time.


Take five sheets of paper. Write each of the above as headings on each one. Next write under each heading what you want to change. Follow that by a plan. For example, under 'change job' your plan may include going to the job centre, looking through job columns in newspaper etc. Then set a date you will go out and do those things. Keep a note what your progress and add to the main sheet as you go.


For the friends solution, you need to find people who are a good influence. Go to your local mosque and ask about voluntary work, recreational projects etc, lectures, classes and join a couple. You will automatically meet people who are doing something positive with their life and hopefully find good friends in them. It will also make you feel a part of the community. Doing anything positive will make you feel better in yourself and you'll also gain a lot more confidence. That will also give you plus points in matrimonial matters.


However, being single isn't bad. You only give a part of your time to marriage. You still do and need to do your own thing and be the individual Allah made you to be. The Prophet (saw) used to divide his time between worship, family and community. So marriage/family were only taking a third of the Prophet's time. Until you get married you have your family to help and give company to.





I need someone I can talk to, but I feel so embarassed and uncomfortable about it all.
There is no one. We kid ourselves. 'I need to talk to someone'.. It's just a phrase we use to make ourselves feel better. There is no one on earth we can really bare our soul to who at some point will not think us to be weak, stupid, wrong, pathetic or even deserving of our suffering. Trust me, people can only understand some of what you are about and that is why they can end up judging you, even if it is secretly. There is only one being who you can trust with every cell of your being. ALLAH!


Talk to Allah. Just because you won't hear Him talking back, it doesn't mean He isn't listening. All you have to do is talk to Him with full trust knowing He is listening and He is the only One who can help. Put your trust in Allah and you will hear Him answering you through His blessings and mercy. Don't expect help from those who themselves rely on Allah to help them. Know your Creator through His signs. From His Holy Book, His names and attributes. Get close to Him through acts of worship and good deeds. Cry beg and sob for His help. If anyone says they relied on Allah for help and He didn't help them, they are liars. Don't listen to such people.


Allah says He will give a peaceful life on earth to those who do goods deeds as well as rewards in the here-After. SubhanAllah :cry:


“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter” [al-Nahl 16:97]


Go towards Allah and He will take care of you. That's all you need.
Reply

Argamemnon
05-29-2010, 10:08 PM
May Allah ease all your affairs. Some good advice has been given, being a good person and doing good deeds will surely make us feel better eventually.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
05-29-2010, 11:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Asalamalaikum brothers and sisters.
I don't know what to do with myself these days.
If life had a 'quit' option.. lately, I feel like I would take it. But alhamdulillah that's not an option.
So here I am. Completely suspended.
I'm a brother.
And I'm just...Very unhappy.
I'm unhappy with my job.
I'm unhappy with my friends and the way they behave, and how I constantly feel they're bad for me.
I'm unhappy with myself, and my bad habits.
I'm unhappy with the fact I don't 'feel' a part of any community.
I'm unhappy with still being single. I could use that other shoulder to (metaphorically) cry on. Even though, I obviously know that my apparent neediness in this post is telltale sign it would be unfair for me to rope anyone into my life right now.
I'm beginning to feel I'm capable of doing nothing else, or chasing my dreams and I'm stuck in this cycle that I'm just completely depressed in.

Then I have that second win, and think "Hey, I can tackle it all at once" when I know I can't.

I've had a few things happen in recent times, and I know of a few more coming up inshaAllah.
It's almost like hit after hit after hit after hit.

I was driving a workmate home tonight, and they straight out asked me what was going on with me lately...And I pretty much just broke. Things are just getting too much for me, I'm like, emotionally exhausted.
I feel like I'm breaking down.
I'm constantly on the verge of tears.

I don't know what to do.
Alhamdulillah, of course I know Allah (swt) will not burden a soul with more than it can handle. But, I just feel I can't keep going on alone with all of this. I need someone I can talk to, but I feel so embarassed and uncomfortable about it all. I know repressing it all makes it worse...

I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallah khayr my brother for coming forward to share your feelings with us as i know it is not easy to do so. You are at a low point in your life and what better time turn fully towards Allah and align your goals, amitions, wants and desires to the hereafter as oppose to this world.

According to Ibn Qayyim: This world is like a shadow. If you try to catch it you will never be able to do so. If you turn your back towards it then it has no choice but to follow you.

Those who chase the this world will only get what they are destined for but nothing more but those who chase the hereafter then this world will chase them and they will get much more. Whatever has happened in the past then learn from it and take good thigns from it. You are a better person now from what you have experienced in life and now it is time to move forward with your life and enter FULLY into Islam. Allah wants us not just to put one foot in the doorway of islam but to enter the doorway fully and permeate every aspect of ourlives with that of Islam which is the natural way to live our life.

If you live Islam fully and let Allah enter into your heart by his worship and remembrance then there will be no room for pain, stress, anguish and deperession and there will only be room for Allah. Allah lives in the hearts of the believers so let Allah enter into your heart and i promise you your pain will dissapear and be replaced by peace, tranquility, contentment and happiness and Allah tells us in the Qur'an:

"Verily! Only in the Zikr of Allah will your heart find peace." Quran (Surah 13: Verse 29)

So now you know the formula for true happiness then all that is left is for you to internalise this within yourself and make the necessery changes within yourself to change your life for the better forever and bring Islam FULLY into your life.

Here is a beautiful speech by a respected Sheikh which really touches ones heart and if you feel the tears wanting to flow then let it flow:

Life, is either for a person, or against him. It’s hours and seconds, days and years pass him by leading him (by his actions) to the Love and Good Pleasure of Allah until he is amongst the people of ultimate success and the Gardens of Paradise; or they are against him, leading him (by his actions) to the Fires of Hell and to the Anger of the One, the Just Ruler [Allah].Life, either it will make you laugh & rejoice for an hour over which you will cry for an eternity (in the Hereafter) or it will make you cry for an hour over which you will laugh & rejoice for an eternity (in the Hereafter).
Life, is either a great blessing for a person, or an adverse affliction against him.

This is a life which was lived by the earliest generations, by our fathers and forefathers, and by all those who preceded us. All of them, returned to Allah with what they used to do [their deeds].

“Life” refers to every single moment that is lived within it, and every hour spent within it. And within all of these, we live a life that is either for us or against us.

Thus, the successful and happy person is the one who sees life, and recognises it’s reality and true nature. For by Allah, it is a life that frequently causes some people to weep, their tears never drying, and frequently makes others laugh, their laughs and joys then never to return.

My beloved, Allah has made this life as a trial, a test, an exam, in which is made apparent the true nature of His slaves. Thus happy is the one who is made successful (in this exam) by the Mercy of Allah while miserable & banished (from salvation) is the one upon whom the Pleasure of Allah becomes forbidden (through this exam).

(Know) for every hour that you live, either Allah is pleased with you in this hour (by your deeds) or the opposite, we seek refuge in Allah from that. Therefore (by this hour) either you come closer to Allah or you stray further from Him.

Thus it may be, that you live a single moment of love and obedience to Allah (by your actions) by which are forgiven the inequities of your life and a lifetime of sins. And it may be that you live a single moment in which you deviate purposely from the Path of Allah, distancing yourself from His obedience, which then becomes a cause of misery & distress, for the rest of your life. We ask Allah for His Safety and Pardoning.

In this life there exist two seperate ‘callers’: The first, is anything that calls to the Mercy, the Good Pleasure and the Love of Allah (be they thoughts or actions). The second type of caller, is anything which invites to the opposite of that. (Such as) a desire or lust that incites one to evil, or a sudden sinful whim that may result in an evil ending (dying in bad or sinful circumstances).

Thus it may be, that a person within a moment of his life, weeps; a weeping of regret and repentance over his negligence towards his Lord; and by (these tears) Allah changes his evil deeds into good deeds (on his record)

But how many a people continue to commit sins? how many a people still indulge in evil? how many a people continue to distance themselves (from Allah), frequently travelling away from their Lord (by their actions)? Thus all of them are distant from the Mercy of Allah, unbeknownst to them, strangers to the Good Pleasure of Allah

Then comes upon them that hour, that exact moment (of penitence), which is what we are referring to, by “the goodly life”, in order that they shed tears of regret and remorse, and that a reason for anguish in the heart may be ignited. Such that the person realises how long his alienation from Allah has been, and how long his absence from his Lord truly has been so that he may then say, “Indeed I am turning to my Lord repentant, remorseful, and in hope of His Mercy and Good Pleasure!”

This time (of penitence) is a person’s key to happiness and contentment, the time of regret. It is as the scholars say,
“Indeed man sins a great deal, but if he is truly sincere in his regret and repentance, Allah will change his sins into good deeds” Thus his life too then becomes pure and goodly, by the purity and truthfulness of that regret and repentance and by the sincerity in the very distress and pain felt within himself.

We ask Allah the Greatest, Lord of the Honourable Throne, to give life to this blessed caller to His Mercy, within our hearts, and to the pain we should feel when we are neglectful towards Allah and His Commands.

My beloved, every single one of us needs to ask themselves a question, we need to ask ourselves day and night,
How many nights are spent awake in activity? and how many hours are passed (in this way)? How many have laughed in this life? And (most importantly) was Allah Pleased with this laughter?

How much of this time was spent in entertainment and enjoyment in this life? Was this enjoyment one that Allah was Pleased with? How many nights were spent awake (in activity)? Was this staying awake (and what you did in those nights), pleasing to Allah?

And so on and so forth, (These are) questions that he should be asking within himself. But a person might wonder why he should be asking these questions (i.e. what’s the point)?

Yes! You must ask yourselves these questions as passes not the instant of a blinking of an eye, nor a fleeting moment in your life, except that you are living in and experiencing the Blessings of Allah! Thus it is from great respect and humility towards Allah, that a person remains constantly aware of the greatness of the Blessings bestowed upon him

From this humility is to truly feel and acknowledge that the food we eat, belongs to and is provided by Allah.

And that we quench our thirst with a drink created by Allah. And that we are shaded and sheltered by a roof provided by Him. And that we walk forth upon a ground provided by Him. And that without doubt we are living in and experiencing His every Bounty and Mercy. So what could we possibly have to offer Him in return?

(So it’s important) a person asks himself these questions.

(For example) doctors say that there exists a substance in a person’s heart, that if it were to increase or decrease by 1%, he would die instantly… So (think) in which courtesy and kindness, which mercy and compassion from Allah does mankind enjoy, experience and live in!

(Even if) a person asks himself about the Mercy of Allah alone, When he wakes up in the morning, possessing his hearing, possessing his sight, possessing his physical strength, who is the one safeguarding his hearing? Who is the One safeguarding his sight? Who is the One safeguarding his intellect? Who is the One safeguarding his very soul?

He must ask himself, who is the One protecting all of these things? Who is the One who Bestowed him with good health and wellbeing?

(Think of) those who are sick, lying on white beds (in hospital), those who are sighing and in pain (from illness), By Allah, through these great blessings Allah conveys His Love for us. The great blessings of good health, wellbeing, security and safety. All of these are provided purely so that we may live a goodly life.

Allah, praised & exalted is He, desires two things from His slave: The first is that he carry out his obligatory duties (e.g. prayer) and the second, is the abandonment of all Allah has forbidden and held him back from.

As for the one who claims that closeness to Allah entails a life of suffering or limitations. Then such a person without doubt has erred greatly in how he perceives Allah.

For, by Allah, if you do not purify and make good your life by closeness to your Lord, you will never be able to do so by way of anything else.

And if you do not purify and adorn your life by carrying out your obligatory duties to Him, and abandoning all that He has forbidden, Then by Allah, you will never be able to so by way of anything else.

A person may experience every single pleasure life has to offer but by Allah, he will never experience anything more pleasurable, more beautiful than servitude to Allah by carrying out his obligations to Him and leaving all that He has forbid him from

(In life) you are subjected to two choices, whenever you are faced with a matter, you have the choice to either do it or not do it. If you decide to go forth and do anything in this life, ask yourself, “Has Allah permitted you to do this thing, or not?” Since the human being himself is owned by Allah, the hearts are all owned by Allah, and the souls are all owned by Allah. Thus a person should, whenever he wants to do something or hold back from it, ask himself, will Allah be pleased with you (by this action)? If so, then let him proceed. Or, will Allah not be pleased by this action? If not then he should hold himself back.

For, by Allah, a person does not proceed with an action nor hold back from it, requesting Allah’s Mercy (and counsel in the decision), except that he pleases his Lord in the process.

Therefore true happiness and a goodly life are only to be found in closeness to Allah

Closeness to who? To the King of Kings, the Controller of the Heavens & the Earth, To whom belongs the Ultimate Command, all creation, and the perfect arrangement and measure of all that exists.

Thus you may find that man is always in a state of anxiety and weariness You may find an individual who has everything he desires, But by Allah, you will find most of those who have all they desire suffer from mental or psychological problems, from anxiety and depression, most of them are extremely unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives

Go and look for the wealthiest person and you’ll most likely find him to be from the most miserable people in life.

And has made the sweetness and savour of life to be found, in being close to Him. And has placed the key to a pleasurable, amiable life, in a pleasurable, amiable relationship with Him

(If we look at just) one prayer that a person performs from the 5 obligatory daily prayers; at the moment of completing his bowing and prostrating and completing his servitude to his Lord, then at leaving the place of prayer,
he feels a great sense of ease and peace within himself!

By Allah, even if he were to spend all the wealth on the earth (in attempt to buy this feeling), He would be unable to seek a way to it.

Thus the goodly life is found only in closeness to Allah. A pleasant, comfortable life will only be found by a closeness to Allah. If a person does not purify and make good his life through this close relationship, then by who (or what) will he….?

Here is the clip of this speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


My brother you are here because Allah guided you here for you to know that Allah is there for you and all you need to do is make the little effort to go towards him and your life will change for the better in no time. Without Islam our lives are worthless. Without Allah our lives are devoid of all blessings and a life of misery. True happiness ONLY lies with the worship and obedience to Allah. He has given us more than we can ever imagine yet we cannot even give him a few minutes of our day. He does not need us but we are in need of him.
Do not waste a second more. Leave those so called friends behind and you should not call those who are a bad influence on you friends. For they do not care for you but the true friend is he who will benefit you in this life and the next and the worst is he who will cause your destruction in this life and the next. Therefore leave those people immediatley and establish close connection with the Masjid the house of Allah and if you keep close to the Masjid and then just like a herd of sheep you will be safe from the wolf (Shaythan) but the lonely sheep is always vulnerable to attack from the wofl. So attend the Masjid as much as possible and you will begin to make good friends who will benefit you in this world and the next and sit with the learned people so that their knowledge and good influence may rub off on you.
Establish your 5 daily prayers as Salaah is that which seperates the believers from disbelief for it is the purpose of our creation. Therefore the first thing you must do is establish your 5 daily prayers for it is the best of all worship and remember Allah much and you will feel tranquility, peace, contentment and happiness you never imagined possible and care not for this life as it is temporary but live for the hereafter which is our final destination.
Most of all desire wanting to be close to your lord and walk towards him and he will run towards you!

Here are some very beneficial articles for you:

10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...our-Iman(Faith)

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...of-their-lives!

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-on-the-scales!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...worship)-check!

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...loser-to-Allah

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...to-do-Everyday!

Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...s-the-solution!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-Pray-Everyday!



Please listen these very beneficial talks:



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]




and Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Insecured soul
05-30-2010, 01:04 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Neelofar
Salaamz =D

Salaamz?

its that a new islamic greeting??????????? i think we should always say salam alaikum

and for u brother, i feel quite a few things which u feel but dont be so tired with life, know that allah has a plan for everything and ultimately our most important goal is aakhira'h

work towards it, and remember u have allah and he knows all ur problems, constanly make dua its muslims tool to get things going :)

may allah ease ur pain, take care, salaam alaikum
Reply

Woodrow
05-30-2010, 02:22 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Adib Shaikh
Salaamz?

its that a new islamic greeting??????????? i think we should always say salam alaikum
:sl:

i believe you will find we should reserve as-Salaam Alaikum or salam alaikum for Muslims only and should not use it as a greeting for non-Muslims. Salaam or salaamz seems to be the preferred and acceptable greeting if you know you are greeting a non- Muslim or are giving a group greeting to a group mixed of Muslims and Non-Muslims. Just what I observed astagfirullah
Reply

glo
05-30-2010, 05:49 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
:sl:

i believe you will find we should reserve as-Salaam Alaikum or salam alaikum for Muslims only and should not use it as a greeting for non-Muslims. Salaam or salaamz seems to be the preferred and acceptable greeting if you know you are greeting a non- Muslim or are giving a group greeting to a group mixed of Muslims and Non-Muslims. Just what I observed astagfirullah
Oh, I didn't know that.
Does that mean it would be inappropriate for me, as a non-Muslim, to greet Muslims with as-Salaam Alaikum?
(What difference - in terms of meaning - does the 'Alaikum' make?)
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
05-30-2010, 06:15 AM
Hello Glo, You can say the full Asalaamu Alaikum to a Muslim of you wish but a Muslim can only reply with "Wa Alaikum" whch means "and the same to you". We can also greet non Muslims with the same greeeting they greet us with. This is because the Islamic greeting is like a supplication and we cannot make supplication for non Muslims except for that they be guided to the truth. Therefore we can only reply with the above and not the full greeting. Here is the evidence from hadith:

Imam al-Bukhari records a Hadith in his Sahih on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: If the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab) greet you, say in reply: Wa alaykum (and also on you)”. (Sahih al-Bukhari).

I hope that has clarified things for you.
Reply

shuraimfan4lyf
05-30-2010, 04:58 PM
:salamext:

How should we return the greeting of salaam from a non-Muslim?


Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible – firstly – to initiate the greeting of salaam to a non-Muslim. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not initiate the greeting of salaam to a Jew or a Christian…” (Narrated by Muslim, 2167).

If one of them says “As-Saam ‘alaykum” – meaning, may death be upon you – or it is not clear whether they have said “salaam”, then we should respond by saying “Wa ‘alaykum” (and upon you).

It was reported that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the Jews greet you, they say ‘Al-saam ‘alaykum (may death be upon you),’ so respond by saying ‘‘alayk (and also upon you).’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5902; Muslim, 2461).

If a non-Muslim greets us with the correct shar’i greeting (i.e., says ‘Al-salaamu ‘alaykum’ clearly), the scholars differed as to whether we have to return the greeting. The majority of scholars said that we do have to return the greeting, and this is the correct view.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: they differed as to whether it is obligatory to return the greeting. The majority said that it is obligatory and this is the correct view. A group of scholars said that it is not obligatory to return their greeting just as it is not obligatory to return the greeting of those who follow bid’ah. But the correct view is the first one. The difference is that we are commanded to forsake the followers of bid’ah by way of rebuke and to warn others about them, which is not the case with the Ahl al-Dhimmah (Jews and Christians).

(Zaad al-Ma’aad, 2/425, 426)

The Muslim who is returning the greeting should respond in the manner prescribed by sharee’ah, giving a similar or better greeting, because of the general meaning of the Aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” [al-Nisa’ 4:86]

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: if the person is certain that the Dhimmi (Jew or Christian) is clearly saying ‘al-salaamu ‘alaykum’ to him, and he has no doubts about that, should he say ‘wa ‘alayka al-salaam’ or shorten it to ‘wa ‘alayk’? What is indicated by the evidence and principles of sharee’ah is that he should say ‘wa ‘alayka al-salaam’, because this is more just, and Allaah commands us to be just and to treat others well… this does not contradict any of the ahaadeeth on this topic at all, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to shorten the greeting to ‘wa ‘alayk’ because of the reason mentioned above, which is that they deliberately used to say ‘al-saam ‘alaykum’ instead of ‘al-salaam ‘alaykum’, as indicated in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). He said, “Do you not see that I say ‘wa ‘alaykum’ when they say ‘al-saam ‘alaykum’?” Then he said, “If the People of the Book greet you with salaam, say, ‘Wa ‘alaykum.’”

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and when they come to you, they greet you with a greeting wherewith Allaah greets you not, and say within themselves, ‘Why would Allâh punish us not for what we say?’…” [al-Mujaadilah 58:8]

If this reason is not there, and the Jew or Christian says, ‘Salaam ‘alaykum wa rahmat-Allaah,’ then it is only fair to respond in kind.

(Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 1/425, 426)

The hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah was narrated by al-Bukhaari (5901) and Muslim (2165)

See also: Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/97

And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!