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Zina123
05-31-2010, 10:31 AM
Assalamoualaikum,

It is my first time to use this website and I am very desperate or advice. I am 27 years old and got divorced before. Since then I found it very difficult to get a decent proposal. There is a person whom I am really in love with but unfortunately the parents disagree completely and I got devastated as I don't want to suffer anymore. I want to get married but it seems that I am not getting any proposal at all. I have seen a Maulana already and he told me to read some duahs. But I still have not heard anything yet unitl now. Ikeep praying everyday and keep on crying and begging Allah to send me someone decent but I don't get any response. I even started getting angry when I was praying, I think that Allah is not listening to my duahs and I keep having problems all the time. I don't know anymore what I can do!

I feel like I am losing my Faith and that there is no way out.

PLease help me.
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Ummu Sufyaan
06-02-2010, 04:53 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
may allah grant you a pious husband.

Uktee, just becuase your duas have not been answered it does not mean that they have gone unheard. dont be hasty, for hastiness causes nothing expect annoyance and restlessness. you must keep making dua whilst having the utmost paitence that whatever you ask for will be accepted.

at the same time, you must strive to convince your parents and take any necessary step to win them over, such as speaking to them, getting someone to speak to them making dua that Allah will soften their hearts, etc.

dont give up or lose hope or be impatient...paitence is when you are ready to give up and walk away...before that its just something that is a part of you-but its true value is when life gets really tough and you feel like giving up...you need paitence the most then.

may allah ease your burdens.
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cat eyes
06-02-2010, 04:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Zina123
Assalamoualaikum,

It is my first time to use this website and I am very desperate or advice. I am 27 years old and got divorced before. Since then I found it very difficult to get a decent proposal. There is a person whom I am really in love with but unfortunately the parents disagree completely and I got devastated as I don't want to suffer anymore.
my dear sister do not see this as a punishment. i think what is really heart breaking for you here is because of this man. forget him and his family. it might be that Allah wants to put you with somebody better and with inlaws who will accept you with open arms and love you. it might be that even if his parents did accept to this marriage, it might be that Allah knew that his parents would treat you badly so what you should be doing now my dear sister is thanking Allah because he might have wanted to save you from a miserable marriage. we do not see the reason why duas are not answered sister so we unfortunately go unthankful towards our creator when in fact there could be one million reasons why things dont go the way a person has planned.

Sister what you need to do is trust on Allah and have patience and the most important thing is Accept what has happened whether its good or bad but still be thankful and be patient.

and i guarantee you that your duas will be answered because when we trust in our creator. he will fufil all our wishes inshallah.

I Will remember you in my duas sister because i know its not easy to be alone. its difficult for a muslimah to stay on the right path.
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Muslim Woman
06-02-2010, 04:11 PM
Salaam sis ,

why ur parents are agaisnt this proposal ? Offer Istekhara salat , if u see something positive , then try to convince them .

Don't be disappoint if duas are not answered immediately. Remember :
Imam Sadiq (as) said: "The Muslim believer whose calls were not answered by Allah (swt) in this world will wish that none of them would have been accepted when, in the Hereafter, he sees the abundance of rewards (given him for their not being answered and suffering the troubles in the world)."

and I am curious to know if zina has some good meaning in other language? The only word zina I know has a very bad meaning in Arabic .
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dew of jannah
06-03-2010, 09:09 AM
why v think all the time if husband r wife do any mistake so only option left is to leavd marrige,v have to think that v r not angels who wont do any mistakes!i will leave the marrige & find somebody else is not the way but to work,In a hadith reported by Abu Dawud, Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah."its not like this that ohhh u made mistake so i have right now to leave u,but any imam should sit between both n ask both of them the things,divorce is not like that u can take ur own decession.by islamic method if something is wrong tell ur husband in a nice manner,try hard might be u change ur husband n get reward frm Allah,still not sit with two elders specially IMAM n try to solve the matter.we people dnt knw about Islam n have creatde our own things even husband dnt have a straight right to give divorce to her wife,thats why in islam divorce is meant to be given in months time so they can solve their matters in between these 3 months,if Allah choosed them to be husband n wife so what makes us think that Allah wanted them to leave each other <i mean is ALLAH CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS>but by their own mistakes,SHAITAN SITS WITH HIS OTHER FELLOW MEMBERS & ASK THEM WHAT GREAT HAVE U DONE TODAY,1 SAYS I MADE 1 MUSLIM TO MISS HIS PRAY,SHAITAN DNT SEEMS TO BE THAT HAPPY,2ND SATAN FELLOW SAYS HE MADE 1 MUSLIM TO DO STEAL,STILL SATAN DNT SEEMS TO BE IMPRESSED,3RD SATAN FELLOW SAYS I MADE 1 MUSLIM HUSBAND & WIFE TO LEAVE EACH OTHER,SO SHAITAN GETS UP & CONGRATULATES HIM & SAYS U R MY TRUE FOLLOWER!!!WE HAVE MADE THINGS EASY FOR US,IF U STAY ALONE SHAITAN WILL CONTROL UR MIND MORE EASILY,satan will put ego in ur heart & mind,which makes the muslim heart black!!!ALLAH will help u
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peaceandlove
06-05-2010, 06:21 PM
Sister, First of All pray to Allah , to give you a good husband.

Sister , if you look around you will find people who are living in even the worse case then you , every body had problem in life , so see a person who is facing more problems then you and you will thanks to Allah that you are not facing these problem.

Secondly, praying is essential , in addition to these try to find a good man for you. Ask your parent to search for you , or your family members , cousings or you can even try it your sefl , I addition to the praying also try to find some one ,

We will pray to Allah to give our sister a nice husband.
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