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zeba
06-01-2010, 05:07 PM
Aslaam aleikum.

This is basically to make more people aware of Anencephaly... and also to seek advice and support from people who do have knowledge.

I am 16 weeks pregnant with a child who has Anencephaly (no brain). I have been asked by doctors to terminate this pregnancy as there is no cure to this and there is no chance of the babys survival when I give birth. However it is my choice whether to continue to do so and for the past week I have been researching all over to get the answer to my problem. However although in some places it does say that a baby with Anencephaly can be terminated..... it does nt tell me that in my case as I am 16 weeks that is it allowed. Because at 16 weeks surely my baby has the rooh (spirit) breathed into it.? And also will my baby meet me in Jannah?

In the deepest of my hearts I want to carry on with this pregnancy to the end and pray for Allah s forgiveness and pray He shows a miracle and my baby becomes better. But the doctors are saying that it is a matter of ending the pregnancy now or waiting for it to end later. As there never has been a survival in this case. The most the baby may keep alive for is a few hours. I have emailed so many scholars and even Dr Zakir Naik but have had no response. Please someone help me out and pray for me that Allah shows me guidance.

I have read so much about christian couples going through this but is there any muslims been throught the same as me? Until my baby had it I did nt even know or heard of Anencephaly.

Just hoping for some advice and support. Thank you.
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CosmicPathos
06-03-2010, 02:33 AM
sister lily should be able to help you. May Allah give you patience to bear this bad news.
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جوري
06-03-2010, 03:38 AM
:sl:

I am sorry for this tragedy sister,
also I haven't seen this post before now so I apologize for the late reply.. but I fear that even if you don't choose to terminate, you might end up with a spontaneous abortion and those can be dangerous, or intrauterine fetal death (which also has severe complication) or a small percentage that makes it to term and the labor is complicated by a variety of issues for instance shoulder dytocia ..the choice is up to you whether you choose to carry this fetus at a risk mentioned or terminate through medical means, but no fetus survives without a brain .. my personal view is with the safest choice which is to terminate through medical means and because there is also a possibility that you might need a Rhogam shot to prevent sensitization of your immune system to RH antigens which can pose a threat to subsequent pregnancies.

with that said, and because of the very possibility to get pregnant right away after an abortion, I'd please recommend that you take folic acid, and some prenatal vitamins and try again.. May Allah swt bless you with healthy pious children..

:w:
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Woodrow
06-03-2010, 04:23 AM
Just the words from an old retired psychologist. Anencephaly is very difficult for any mother to accept. The hardest part to accept is that through all the pains and hopes of pregnancy, there is no baby to be born. The fetus in this case is no more than a growth in the woman's body and can not survive once detached from the body. As sad as it is a fetus with no brain has no more chance of living than an amputated arm has of surviving after being removed from the person it grew from.

It is still a tremendous lose. But, it is far better to face this lose now than to live for 6 more months in anticipation. This does not mean your pain will be or should be any less than the loss of a full term healthy baby. Just that it is best to face the loss as soon as possible. Just my opinion Astagfirullah
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Iam#1
06-03-2010, 06:49 AM
hey
i am sorry extremly sorry to hear about this but as a mother can you do something for your baby. Fine the baby suffers with anencephaly and to face the truth he might not survive ok finee he won't and iffffffffff there is a mircale he might survive
please think if he won't survive why do you want to terminate this pregnancy ALLAH almighty has given you a chance to spend beautiful 9 months with your child and you know it very well that may be he might not survive but why NOT spend the 9 months with it you should not terminate it ALLAH has given you a chance to liveeeeeeee with your child for 9 months even when you know u won't be able to have him or her like others but why not make those 9 months memorable why not
please pleaseee don't terminate it plzzzzzzzzzz why do u think that it is not allowed in islam to terminate a baby because no matter what atleast enjoy the 9 months with it and u never know there is time mircales happen in seconds comeon you are a muslim:) even if u don't have the baby atleast spen the beautiful 9 months period with it read stories to it care for it
the baby knows what the mother is going through and u know what
he will meet you in jannah and he will say it
that mom even when you knew i won't survive you never took my life away from me and i loved the warmth inside you INSHALLAH
ALLAH knows and sees all
everything done is for good
don't cry that you won't have him for the rest of your life be happy that you have him or her for nine months
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Iam#1
06-03-2010, 06:59 AM
ooh and by the way
dear the baby will be alive in your tummy for 9 months please atleast let it live the 9 months and people in this world you never know when you'll lose them but you know very well about the baby so INSHALLAH during this period ALLAH will give you courage and you keep the baby for 9 months :) next time INSHALLAH when you will have the baby and INSHALLAH when the baby will be fit and fine and healthy in this world INSHALLAH atleast you won't regret that you actually couldn't take care of a sick child as a mother and you had to give up.
'Mother' is supposed to be strong.
this is my opinion but still its up to you
May ALLAH bless you
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glo
06-03-2010, 07:10 AM
Hi Zeba

I am so sorry for the difficult situation you are finding yourself in. In must be so hard to have to make such a decision!

I cannot give you any Islamic advice, I'm afraid.

But a friend of mine, who is a Christian, was in the same situation some years ago.
She and her husband chose to go through with the pregnancy - despite the health risks involved (see Lili's post) and despite knowing that the baby had no survival chance whatsoever. I think they felt that God had given them this tiny life, and that they should support it and love it for as long as possible.
The pregnancy went to full term, my friend had a natural birth, and she and her husband sat with their newborn son and held him and each other until he died in their arms.

They have since been blessed with two more sons - both healthy teenagers now.

Perhaps the difference is that having brought the baby into the world, he became a 'real' child and a son for this family. He has a name, he has a birth certificate, he has a death certificate. As far as they are concerned, they have three children - one of whom died very young.


I pray for peace for you in your situation, and for the strength to make the right decision.
Whatever you choose, God loves you and is holding you throughout all this!
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Grofica
06-03-2010, 07:23 AM
I think Glos words are very moving. and i can see the beauty of carring it through to term however i can not agree with Iam#1's opinion (sorry) This is not a termination under normal cirustances. In Islam (and correct me if I am wrong) but yes terminations are wrong. Babies with Anencephaly I am pretty sure were not known about during those times. and those were times when many mothers passed away in child birth.

As many of the people said in here the choice has to be yours and I pray that you find the right answer for you. But do research the risks to yourself also. You can not have more healthy children, or be there for your husband if you dont make it past all the risks involved in carring it to term.

I believe no matter what the choice you make your child will meet you. Your child knows the love you have and everyone here can see how much because your asking this question.

i think this is something that both you and your husband should discuss. MY opinon is let the doctors take care of you. If there were no risks they wouldnt have given you the options they did. no matter what you decide you will always have that child in your heart. nothing can ever take that away.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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Ummu Sufyaan
06-03-2010, 02:09 PM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
wow, you are one strong sister. may allah ease your burdens and make things easy for you whichever way this matter will go.
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جوري
06-03-2010, 03:59 PM
fact is women didn't always survive childbirth and children didn't always make it even without complications such as these back in the day when all there were was a midwife and a hot towel... there are percentages of how many spontaneously abort, how many die in utero and how make it to full term but die within a couple of hrs max. so I think you need to make an informed decision based on that not based on any story anyone is telling you, Muslim/christian/Jew as well google what consequences there maybe for a spontaneous abortion or death in utero..
I tell you this, and I had an aunt who lost three boys shortly after their birth, another who lost twins shortly birth, and a sister who miscarried twice.. that which is lost to a mother carries in her scale of deeds and I know, that children who died young intercede for their parents on the day of recompense..

there was a beautiful story here which I have no hope of finding with this new layout.. about one of the four imams I believe who had lost his child, and she saved him from sin.. if someone would find that story for the sister, I think it might offer her some comfort insha'Allah..

Jazkoum Allah khyran..

:w:
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cat eyes
06-03-2010, 04:57 PM
talk to scholar sister
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glo
06-03-2010, 05:41 PM
I found a couple a websites which explain anencephaly.
Perhaps sister Lily can comment on how medically accurate they are.

http://www.anencephaly.net/anencephaly.html
http://webspace.webring.com/people/x...encephaly.html

Here is a quote, specifically about the risk to the mother - from the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin
How does anencephaly affect the pregnancy?
The diagnosis of anencephaly may be suspected if the alpha fetoprotein level is elevated. The diagnosis is confirmed by a targeted ultrasound performed by a tertiary care facility qualified to make a definitive diagnosis of anencephaly. If other anomalies are noted, amniocentesis may be offered to evaluate the chromosomes. The diagnosis of anencephaly in the fetus poses a slightly increased medical risk to the mother. Because of this fact and the fact that this anomaly is uniformly fatal for the baby, the treatment options offered are termination of the pregnancy or palliative care at the time of birth. One of the risks for the mother is development of polyhydramnios or an increased volume of amniotic fluid. This can be uncomfortable to the point of interfering with breathing. Polyhydramnios may increase the risk for preterm labor. The labor and delivery process is sometimes complicated by a failure of the cervix to dilate and the fetal presentation may not be head down which makes for a more complicated vaginal delivery and contributes to the dysfunctional labor or the failure of the cervix to dilate. There is a slightly increased risk of postpartum hemorrhage and placental abruption (placenta pulling away from the uterine wall), which also carries a risk of hemorrhage. Each of these risks, while low, is slightly higher than is associated with a normal pregnancy.
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Donia
06-04-2010, 02:28 AM
As-salaamu alaikum sister,

I admire you because even though you are going through a tough situation, you are still trying to make sure you are doing things Islamically. May Allah reward you for that. Ameen.

That being said, I am so sorry about your baby.. SubhanAllah.. This is a very personal and emotional choice. Pray to Allah and I hope you will reach a decision that is comfortable for you. Either way it's tough. May Allah give your husband, you, and your family strength to get through this and bless you with healthy children. Ameen.

I will remember you in my duas insha'Allah.
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zeba
06-08-2010, 09:31 AM
Aslam Aleikum,

First of all I would like to thank every single person who took their time out to reply and show me hope and gave me advice from their heart. Your love and concern for myself and my baby has overwhelmed me and brought tears to my eyes. Where I did not get a single reply from scholars from all over the internet.... I got several replies from people on this forum. So again I thank all of you who have shared your thoughts and opinions with me. It means alot.

Ever since I found out about my baby I have constantly been on the internet searching for some answers both medically and Islamicaly. Also after speaking to my husband, midwife and doctors... I realised it was all down to me to make the decision. In my whole life I have never come across something as difficult as this. When I was first told at my scan that my baby had anencephaly... I immediately jumped to the conclusion that my baby would be terminated... it somehow seemed easier. However my husband was away and I asked the doctors to wait while he returned which was a week later. My husband has supported me so much and said that it was all up to me and about how I felt emotionally and physically. The more I thought about it the more I held on. I am 17 weeks pregnant now. And although I am aware of the complications at birth... I am also scared of terminating this baby and doing wrong Islamically. I know it is unlawful to terminate a baby for no reason. But anencephaly is one of the reasons where you can terminate. However at this stage of the baby being 17 weeks old where he/she is moving and the heart is beating.... is it still allowed to terminate? Because the rooh (spirit) has entered the baby now. So can the termination still happen at this stage or will it be a sin?????? This is the answer which I am searching for and am not getting. Believe me my husband has asked so many scholars personally also. Some say it is allowed and some say that as the spirit has entered that it is not allowed. To abort now will be as if I have murdered my own child. As i still do not have the answer i am looking for, I am still holding onto my baby. I just dont feel ready to give my baby up just like that. I know it will be the hardest months of my life yet to come and that I need to be really strong... but that scares me. I just pray Allah gives me patience and the strength to deal with this. By giving birth to my baby I would know deep in my heart that I did all I could do as a mother. That I did nt just give up. And although I know the pain and suffering will be great deal more then that it would be now... hopefully inshallah I will get to see my child and hold him in my arms before he goes. And you know Allah has many treasures... what if Allah decides to reward me for my patience and my baby is born perfect. I need to be positive... I need to keep on hoping and praying... as a Muslimah it is my duty towards Allah to never give up.
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zeba
06-08-2010, 09:33 AM
Jazak'Allah. Thank You so much for your prayers.
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Snowflake
06-08-2010, 10:03 AM
Asslamu alaykum,

My dear sister, I'm sorry, I also didn't see your post before. firstly I pray to Allah to compensate you greatly for the mental and physical suffering you are going through. Ameen. I read sis Lily's and Glo's post, and it does seem like the risks of keeping the pregnancy are huge. At the same time I admire your strength and endurance in wanting to keep the pregnancy. But my dear sis, Allah has made life sacred and made the haram permissable and preferable to us when our life is endangered. The question is whether should you risk your life knowing the dangers of allowing the pregnancy to go full term. It is better the answer comes from a scholar, so there is doubt left. May Allah grant you health, patience and beautiful healthy children in the not so distant future. Ameen :)
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Muhammad
06-08-2010, 11:49 AM
Assalaamu Alaykum sister,

May Allaah (swt) give you strength and patience during this time and guide you in making the best decision, Aameen.

Remember to pray Istikhaarah (see here) before making your decision, and Allaah (swt) will facilitate the best outcome for you.

If you are in the UK, you can try contacting Shaykh Haitham if you haven't done so: http://www.mrdf.co.uk/component/opti...tact/Itemid,3/
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zeba
06-11-2010, 06:54 PM
Thank You Scents Of Jannah for your Duas. I have asked the Scholars and they are not giving me the same answer. Thats the problem. If only there was a right and wrong then I would be able to make the right choice. I just want to do what is right in the Islamic law. Brother Muhammad thank you so much for your concerns also. I have checked that website out and sent an email. Waiting for reply. And I will definitely do ISTIKHARA. Should have done it long time ago. Sisters Lily and Glo I thank you so much also for your concerns about the child birth. I have spoken to my doctor, consultant and Midwife. They have assured me that although there is a slight higher risk of a harmful birth... in most cases the birth will be as normal as it is with other child births.( just pray that I am amongst those most cases) As the baby will not have the skull the head may not press down so I may need to get a caserean or they may need to use forceps. However as we all know this may also happen at the last moment to births where the baby is normal.. for example where the babys position is not right at the time of birth. Sister Lily you mentioned something about the story of the four imams. I would really like to read it if I could please. Sister Glo what you said about your friend is exactly how I feel. That my baby will have a name, a birth certificate and sadly a death certificate. And Inshallah I will meet my baby after I die. Thank you so much again to all the others who took the time out to reply and for all your prayers and best wishes.
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Hamza Asadullah
06-12-2010, 02:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by zeba
Aslaam aleikum.

This is basically to make more people aware of Anencephaly... and also to seek advice and support from people who do have knowledge.

I am 16 weeks pregnant with a child who has Anencephaly (no brain). I have been asked by doctors to terminate this pregnancy as there is no cure to this and there is no chance of the babys survival when I give birth. However it is my choice whether to continue to do so and for the past week I have been researching all over to get the answer to my problem. However although in some places it does say that a baby with Anencephaly can be terminated..... it does nt tell me that in my case as I am 16 weeks that is it allowed. Because at 16 weeks surely my baby has the rooh (spirit) breathed into it.? And also will my baby meet me in Jannah?

In the deepest of my hearts I want to carry on with this pregnancy to the end and pray for Allah s forgiveness and pray He shows a miracle and my baby becomes better. But the doctors are saying that it is a matter of ending the pregnancy now or waiting for it to end later. As there never has been a survival in this case. The most the baby may keep alive for is a few hours. I have emailed so many scholars and even Dr Zakir Naik but have had no response. Please someone help me out and pray for me that Allah shows me guidance.

I have read so much about christian couples going through this but is there any muslims been throught the same as me? Until my baby had it I did nt even know or heard of Anencephaly.

Just hoping for some advice and support. Thank you.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazkallah khayr for sharing this sensative issue with us. Firstly may i just add that Dr Zakir Naik as great as he is as a scholar of comparitive religion, he is not a scholar of Islam and also does not claim to be, therefore one should not ask him questions of this nature but only to proper and trained Islamic scholars.

According to the consensus of scholars aborting the baby after 4 months of pregnancy is forbidden because the soul is breathed into it after 4 months. You also stated that by having the baby the risk to your health is minimal but if it was major then that would be another issue.

Although babys with this condition may not live long if the mother bore the baby with patience until its natural death then there is great reward in this if the mother is patient from the calamity and pain that follows it.

My sister realise that Allah tests those he wants closest to him so surely this is a test and if you bare with patience then your rewards are unimaginable. A person will never be able to reach the highest position without undergoing hardships, trials and tests. You are lucky that Allah is testing you greatly because he wants you close to him and it maybe that a person who is patient through hardships, trials and tests comes in front of Allah on the day of judgement sinless.

Allah is with those who are patience and the reward of patience is Paradise. If you are patient then your child will hold your hand and lead you to the gates of Jannah inshallah.

and Allah knows best in all matters
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جوري
06-12-2010, 11:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by zeba
Thank You Scents Of Jannah for your Duas. I have asked the Scholars and they are not giving me the same answer. Thats the problem. If only there was a right and wrong then I would be able to make the right choice. I just want to do what is right in the Islamic law. Brother Muhammad thank you so much for your concerns also. I have checked that website out and sent an email. Waiting for reply. And I will definitely do ISTIKHARA. Should have done it long time ago. Sisters Lily and Glo I thank you so much also for your concerns about the child birth. I have spoken to my doctor, consultant and Midwife. They have assured me that although there is a slight higher risk of a harmful birth... in most cases the birth will be as normal as it is with other child births.( just pray that I am amongst those most cases) As the baby will not have the skull the head may not press down so I may need to get a caserean or they may need to use forceps. However as we all know this may also happen at the last moment to births where the baby is normal.. for example where the babys position is not right at the time of birth. Sister Lily you mentioned something about the story of the four imams. I would really like to read it if I could please. Sister Glo what you said about your friend is exactly how I feel. That my baby will have a name, a birth certificate and sadly a death certificate. And Inshallah I will meet my baby after I die. Thank you so much again to all the others who took the time out to reply and for all your prayers and best wishes.
you do what you think is best for you sister.. it is a high risk pregnancy, and I have given ONLY my scientific understanding and personal feelings on the matter.. believe me I can understand how painful this for you and can't help but think the longer your unborn infant stays with you the worse you'll feel..
there are many instances when a mother is pregnant but it is ectopic or a molar pregnancy, as in there is no viable fetus and it must be aborted immediately, the situation you are facing is a bit different but challenging nonetheless, I'd ask that when you make salaat istikhara that you also ask Allah swt to elucidate for you what you should do in a dream.

I am trying to find a story, it was posted here on the forum, perhaps Brother Hamza81 can find it, masha'Allah he is a walking compendium of text..

basically the individual in the story had lost a child while she was young, and drifted off away from Allah swt, when he had a dream I think with snakes and hellfire (please don't quote me as I don't remember the details) and his child came to save him, and that all the children who die young are taught Quran by the prophet Ibrahim .. I am going to rummage through the forum, but the search feature is difficult or I ask the brother or sister who initially posted the story to re-link us to it or post it anew insha'Allah..

may Allah swt grant you patience, alleviate your sorrows, and grant you that which is better..

ameen
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