/* */

PDA

View Full Version : 3 days grieving?



MusLiM 4 LiFe
06-17-2010, 07:48 PM
Assalamualaikum,

Im just wanting some clarification on a point.. When a person passes away, I have heard that your allowed to grieve for them for 3 days.. but what does that actually mean? Grieving as in crying etc or visiting the persons house?

Also, what if its a really close family member? Will grieving be allowed for more than 3 days?

Wasalam. :statisfie
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Snowflake
06-18-2010, 07:15 PM
:sl: Ukhti,

Generally when there is a death in the family, every day affairs come to a standstill. There is the funeral to organise and visitors to attend to, as well as dealing with one's own personal grief. So the daily routine is interrupted and there is nothing wrong with this. But after three days we must resume life as normal and not let the death of a deceased prevent us from living a normal life. Allah does not say not to feel saddened by the death of a loved one after three days, but to carry on with life despite your loss and accepting it as the will of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala.


However, there is an exception to the three day mourning period. This is for the woman who has been widowed. Her mourning period is for four months and ten days. After that she can even remarry if that is what she desires.


It is permissible for a woman to mourn for someone other than her husband for three days
I heard one of the scholars say that someone other than the wife is permitted to refrain from adorning herself and wearing her best clothes for three days in mourning for the deceased. How correct is this opinion?.

Praise be to Allaah.

This is correct, and it is mentioned in a saheeh hadeeth, in which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman should not mourn for one who has died for more than three days, except for a husband, four months and ten days.” Saheeh – agreed upon. End quote.


Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 22/228

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days."

Read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...#ixzz0rEWM5oEb

:wa:
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
06-27-2010, 01:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MusLiM 4 LiFe
Assalamualaikum,

Im just wanting some clarification on a point.. When a person passes away, I have heard that your allowed to grieve for them for 3 days.. but what does that actually mean? Grieving as in crying etc or visiting the persons house?

Also, what if its a really close family member? Will grieving be allowed for more than 3 days?

Wasalam. :statisfie

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazkallah khayr for your question. The following a very relavant articles in regards to your question:

Weeping and Mourning over the Dead

Muslim scholars agree that weeping for the dead is permissible, whereas crying out loud and wailing are not. The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "The one who is wailed for is tortured on account of it." Abu Musa is reported to have said: "I declare my disavowal of all that Allah's Messenger disavowed. The Messenger of Allah disavowed publicly a woman who mourns loudly, one who shaves her head, and the one who tears her clothes in mourning."

It is permissible for a woman to mourn for a period of three days over the death of a near relative. The Islamic term for mourning is Hidaad. Mourning for more than three days is not permitted except in the case of her husband's death. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said: "It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn over a dead person more than three days, except for her husband, where she mourns for four months and ten days." A women whose husband has must observe what is known as the 'Iddah - The waiting period before she may remarry, which is four month and ten days. During this period a widow is not permitted to use any adornment, such as jewelry, kohl (eye-makeup), silk, perfume, or henna dye on her hands and feet. A widow during her 'iddah is permitted to leave her home to fulfill her economic and social needs. If for example she works to sustain her family, she may continue to leave her home daily for the period of work. Apart from leaving the house for necessities and social visits to relatives and friends, a widow during her 'iddah should pass the night in her own home until her term lapses, that is, she is not to sleep outside of her house.

How Islam tells us to deal with grief and loss

By Z. Farrukh

In the name of Allah Most Merciful, the All Compasionate

Starting with the basic concept of Islam; Allah (Subhanahu Wata'ala) has created this universe, and each and everything within it. As Allah says in the Quran, " Allah, it is He, Who has made for you the earth as a dwelling place and the sky as a conopy and He has given you shape and made your shapes good (looking) and has provided you with the good things. That is Allah, your Lord : so Blesses be Allah, the Lord of the Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists). [Chapter 40, Verse 64]

And thus, each and every one of our possessions is the blessing of Allah. As He alone is the creator and owner of everything. Life in this world is temporary' and it is a test for the Human Beings; for which we will be awarded in the everlasting' Hereafter. Allah (Jallah Shaanuhu) has created us for His Ibaadah ( worship ). He has prescribed rules for those who Believe in Allah; and those who abide by them, will succeed and prosper in the Hereafter.

Allah says in the Quran, "(It is He) who created death and life to test which of you is best in conduct; and He is the Mighty, the Forgiving." [Chapter 67, Verse 2]

Loss and grief is part of the test. When a person encounters loss or grief, it actually a test, which Allah is putting us through. Allah says, " Be sure, We shall test you through fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) but glad tidings to those who patiently persevere." [Surah Baqarah, Chapter 2, Verse 155]


It is natural to feel sorrow over a loss, whether it be concerning wealth and possesion or losing a loved one. But Islam teaches muslims to remain steadfast at all times. When a hard time befalls him, or a grief overwhelms him, a muslim should turn his attention to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, and should pray and supplicate. And Allah will give him the strength to endure the loss and pain.

Islam teaches us to remain patient in the greatest of losses and not to greive unnecessesarily over what has been lost; as life in this world is temporary. Eveything is bound to an end one day. Moreover, everything is predistined Allah Jallah Shanuhu has already written the "fate" of everyone, as Allah says in Surah Hadeed, " No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is incribed in the Book of Decrees (Al Lauh ul Mahfooz) before We bring it into existance. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters. [Surah Al Hadeed, Verses 22-23]

A muslim should never complain about a loss he faces; as everything in this world belongs to Allah, and whatever happens is due to Allah's decision and whatever Allah has decided is, for the benefit of the muslim, whether the benefit is in this world or the hereafter, or both, this too is Allah's decision.

On the occasion of death, of Prophet Muhammad's (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassallam) son, Ibrahim, the Prophet said, "Our eyes our filled with tears, our hearts with grief but, we say nothing with our lips except that which pleases Allah Verily to Allah we belong and to Him we return."

This example from the life of the Holy Prophet(peace be upon him) as well as countless others from that of Sahabah (R.A), teach us to be patient and submit to the will of Allah, and accept His decision for us.

On dealing with sorrow, Shekih Al Sheraim said, a muslim must supplicate to Allah to ward off sorrow before it strikes him. But when it happens, a Muslim must be patient and Allah will reward him by forgiving his sins. He should also supplicate to Allah so that He removes the sadness from his heart and replaces it with happiness.

Therefore we must deal with death inwardly and outwardly:

Inwardly:

1.Patience,
2.Submission to the Divine Will,
3.Reflection on the fleetingness of live,
4.Taking admonition for one's own situation.

Shaddad ibn Aws reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, "The intelligent is one who controls his lower self and works for that which comes after death. The stupid is one who follows his caprice and vainly hopes that his desires will be fulfilled by Allah." (al-Tirmidhi)

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, "Race to good deeds! What do you await but delayed poverty, overbearing wealth, debilitating illness, senility, unexpected death or the Dajjal? Or are you waiting for unseen evil, or the Final Hour? And the Final Hour will be bitter indeed and terrible." (al-Tirmidhi)

Outwardly:

1.Making sure the dead person's estate is correctly divided according to the Shariah AFTER all debts have been cleared.

2.If the person is expected to have missed fard fasts or prayers, their family (or friends) should make expiatory payments (fidya) to compensate for this, according to the rules of fiqh. [Can be explained upon request.]

3.Reciting a lot of Qur'an oneself (and family and friends) and donating the reward to the deceased. One may not pay Qur'an reciters for this; it would be sinful and without reward.

4.Making a lot of dua for them.

Malik ibn Rabi'a al-Sa`idi said, "Once as we sat with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), a man from the Bani Salama came and asked, 'O Messenger of Allah, is there any goodness I can show my parents after they die?' He said, 'Yes. Praying for them, seeking forgiveness for them, fulfilling the pledges they made, keeping ties with their relatives, and honouring their friends." (Abu Dawud)

Finally, we should learn the manners and ways of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) and live them:

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessing & peace) said, "My entire community will enter Janna except those who refuse."

He was asked, "O Messenger of Allah, who are those who refuse?

He said, "Those who obey me will enter the Garden and those who disobey me refuse." (al-Bukhari)

and Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!