format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
Salam alaikum
Wat advice would u give someone in this position (me).
I am a revert, male, in my 20s. Ive been trying to get married 4 about 3 years now.
At first, sexual desire wasnt an issue. I just wanted to share life with someone.
But it seemed like no ones parents would approve a revert or no1 wanted to know me.
Just in the last while, sexual desire has hit me hard.
Its just adding more pain to what i was already feeling.
I dont know what to do.
I dont want the cycle to go foreva!! :(
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my brother jazakallah khayran for sharing your issue with us. My brother i I can fully empathize with your situation. I pray to Allah to grant you patience (sabr) and keep your mind away from the sinful, and may He bless you with a pious wife as soon as possible.
In the meantime, you are best advised to turn your mind away from lustful thoughts by occupying yourself with other beneficial matters. You should ask Allah to help you. Here are some suggestions from Sheikh Ahmed Kutty in order to guard yourself against falling into sins:
1. Make it a habit to read the Qur'an or listen to a beautiful recitation.
2. Practice remembrance of Allah (dhikr ). Find a good prayer book such as Muhammad Al-Ghazali's Remembrance and Prayer:The Way of the Prophet and read it regularly.
3. Learn to curb your carnal desires. Get Al-Ghazali's book Disciplining the Soul and Breaking the Two Desires (translated by T.J. Winter).
4. Find good companions who will divert your attention to good things.
5. Find volunteer services that need help in your community and spend time volunteering your efforts.
By keeping your mind occupied with positive and beneficial things, with the help of Allah, you can guard yourself against sinful thoughts.
I would also add that you should eat less red meat and meat in general and try to keep away from foods that create heat in the body. Also try to excercise and fast more like fasting on Mondays and thursdays which is Sunnah. Do not eat heavy meals but make your meals lighter and try not to go to the market place unless it is absolutley necessery as well as places where you will see more of the opposite sex.
Finally, use the following prayer on a regular basis:
Allaahumma tahhir qalbee wa ahsin farjee.
(O Allah, cleanse my heart (of all sinful thoughts) and help me to remain chaste and pure).
Rabbi qinee sharra basaree, rabbi qinee sharra sam`ee; rabbi qinee sharra lisaanee, rabbi qinee sharra maniyyee.
(My Lord, guard me against the evils of my eyes; my Lord, guard me against the evils of my ears; guard me against the evils of my speech; guard me against the evils of my private parts.)
Allaahumma habbib ilaynaa al-imaana wa zayyinhu fee quloobinaa wa karrih ilaynaa al-kufra wa al-fusooqa wa al-`isyaana.
(O Allah, make faith dear to our hearts and embellish our hearts with it; and make disbelief, transgression and rebellion abhorrent to our hearts.)
Allaahumma aghninee bi halaalika `an haraamika wa bi ta`atika `an ma`siyatika wa bi fadhlika `amman siwaaka.
(O Allah, make me self-sufficient with what You have declared as lawful for me; make me self-sufficient with Your obedience so that I am not driven to disobey You; and make me self-sufficient with Your favor so that I am not compelled to look to favors of others.)