format_quote Originally Posted by
roses88
Assalamualaikum.. I am a 22 year old female and was born in a family that accepted Islam. However, my dad is not really the religious type.. It's not like he drinks or doing other forbidden things, but he doesn't pray and would not pay his zakaat... I think he is being hypocrite when he would advise us to pray, but he would not do the same. I believe his actions are caused by the upbringing of my grandparents, who only teach him that life is about finding money. I also hate that my paternal side have this habit of thinking they are superior and they always talk bad about people. It's as if everyone are not as superior as them.
Ever since I was small, I always helped my dad with his business.. I'll carry heavy things that you might never imagine.. I never had any good friends, and I believe I don't have a life either.. It's all about helping my dad, making sure I don't do anything that could hurt them and studying..
The problem is that I have lost my respect and temper to stand my family. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel I am all alone... I used to think that Allah would make it all right, but right now I am beginning to doubt it... I've lost my fear to Allah.. Please help me... Tell me what should I do...!!!
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Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallah khayran for sharing your issue with us. My sister i'm sure most of us have familiy members who arew not practising so i'm sure a lot of us can relate to your issue. But what we must realise is that guidance is ONLY in the hands of Allah and Allah has said himself that if he wanted to then he can guide everyone on this earth. But it depends on a persons heart and it is upto us to make the required effort. We can only do so much to try and get our familys, relatives, friends and people around us to change their ways and go towards Allah. All we can do is give them dawah in the most beautiful of manners using wisdom and tact and then make dua to Allah. That is all we can do and the rest is upto Allah. In the same way you can only advise your father so much and make dua for him.
Everyone will be accountable for themselves on the day of judgement and you should give him dawah in the most beautiful of manner using wisdom and tact now and again not always as if you do it always then it will start to go in one ear and come out of the other. Then make dua for him and make the best of your own life as your time is also very short here and may end at any second.
Also my sister you should realise that whatever you do to help your father and your family then your reward is not with them but with Allah. So help your family and treat them the best for Allah will reward you for your efforts and helping ones family for the pleasure of Allah is great reward. Your father loves you and wants the best for you so if he wants you to pray then what is so wrong with that? Just because he does'nt it does'nt mean he does not want the best for you. It is clear that shaythan is wanting to create resentment in your heart for your family and you must realise that shaythan is your sworn enemy anmd only wants your destruction. Therefore will you tlisten to shaythan? Or will you disregard him and treat your family the best for the pleasure of Allah and get as close to Allah as possible?
Therefore do not let shaythan cause hatred and resentment in your heart for your family. He is only fooling you. Your family loves you more than you can imagine. All you do good for them is great reward for you. Your father wants the best for you. So give him dawah in the most gentle and beautiful of manners and make dua for him and rely upon Allah for the rest.
My sister you should realise that our parents have been given the highest status by Allah and therefore we must always treat them the best and hold them in high regards no matter what. Our children will treat us how we treated our parents so treat themn the best for our reward is with Allah and we ONLY have one set of parents and they will not be with us forever so let us make the best use of every second we have with them and treat them the best and NEVER even say "uff" to them whatever they say or do to us.
You must not let yourself feel isolated. Your family are everything to you and you are everything to them. You should open up more to your family and share your feelings with them rather than let your feelings get blocked up. You should share everything you feel with Allah and you will find peace and solace.
You should always fulfill all of your Salaah and increase your remembrance of Allah and ask of him to bless your family and your household with light. You should also try to learn as much about Islam as possible for knowledge is what will bring us out of darkness and into light. Join an Islamic sisters circle, halaqa, talks and activities and ONLY hang around with good and pious company keep away from bad friends especially those who indulge in haraam.
Ramadhan is around the corner so prepare for it now so that you can make the best use of every second in Ramadhan for it is a month that we should make the best use of and NOT waste a single second of.
Everything will be be fine my sister as long as you put your FULL faith, trust, hope and reliance in Allah for Allah is wanting you close to him so share everything with him and you will be more than satisfied and content.
Here are some very beneficial lectures on death and the hereafter which you should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:
Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0
HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc
Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE
Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo
How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg
and Allah knows best in all matters
and Allah knows best in all matters.