Please give me advise..!!!

[roses88]

Assalamualaikum.. I am a 22 year old female and was born in a family that accepted Islam. However, my dad is not really the religious type.. It's not like he drinks or doing other forbidden things, but he doesn't pray and would not pay his zakaat... I think he is being hypocrite when he would advise us to pray, but he would not do the same. I believe his actions are caused by the upbringing of my grandparents, who only teach him that life is about finding money. I also hate that my paternal side have this habit of thinking they are superior and they always talk bad about people. It's as if everyone are not as superior as them.

Ever since I was small, I always helped my dad with his business.. I'll carry heavy things that you might never imagine.. I never had any good friends, and I believe I don't have a life either.. It's all about helping my dad, making sure I don't do anything that could hurt them and studying..

The problem is that I have lost my respect and temper to stand my family. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel I am all alone... I used to think that Allah would make it all right, but right now I am beginning to doubt it... I've lost my fear to Allah.. Please help me... Tell me what should I do...!!!
:heated:

[marwen]

Assalamu Alaykom sister !
Not sure I understood the whole question and what makes you sad :hmm:, but may Allah help you and make life easier for you. Ameen !

But let's take things one by one :

1) concerning parents (Father) or family members who are not practicing Islam well, or need correction :
You know, we humans are so arrogant when people try to correct us. So try to correct them discreetly : Try to play a tape when they are present. Or leave an Islamic book over the table so they can read it when they are alone :nervous:.
And don't forget to make dua for them.

2) your parents make you angry sometimes when they talk about people or when they want to correct you and you don't agree with their opinion :
Just be patient with your parents, they are so precious, and we don't feel how important are our parents for us until we lose them :cry:. Parents may be wrong some times and may be not perfect, they are humans anyway, but they are so important for us and we love them so much. So try to discuss with them gently and tell them what you think is wrong and what they should not do.

3) If I understood well, you think you spend much time and effort to help your family and your dad, and you feel that you don't have time to have friends and to live your own life :
No. Don't regret every minute you spend to help your parents, Allah will give you a big reward for it. And concerning success in your own life : believe me, I don't think there is something that grant you success in your life (job, marriage, rizq, etc.) more important than being kind with parents. Allah will make your life easy and successful if He sees that you are helping your parents.

hope these points are helpful, and on the topic.

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam

... I think he is being hypocrite when he would advise us to pray, but he would not do the same.

some people dont' offer salat in time because of laziness. Pray to Allah that He guides ur parent.

I used to think that Allah would make it all right, but right now I am beginning to doubt it... I've lost my fear to Allah..

all duas are not accepted at once but we must not stop making dua. Because of duas , many sins are forgiven , many dangers are removed . Also we will be rewarded on the Last Day for all our duas.

So , keep praying . May Allah make the hard situation easy for you , Ameen.

[Masuma]

Assalamualaikum.. I am a 22 year old female and was born in a family that accepted Islam. However, my dad is not really the religious type.. It's not like he drinks or doing other forbidden things, but he doesn't pray and would not pay his zakaat... I think he is being hypocrite when he would advise us to pray, but he would not do the same. I believe his actions are caused by the upbringing of my grandparents, who only teach him that life is about finding money. I also hate that my paternal side have this habit of thinking they are superior and they always talk bad about people. It's as if everyone are not as superior as them.

Ever since I was small, I always helped my dad with his business.. I'll carry heavy things that you might never imagine.. I never had any good friends, and I believe I don't have a life either.. It's all about helping my dad, making sure I don't do anything that could hurt them and studying..

The problem is that I have lost my respect and temper to stand my family. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel I am all alone... I used to think that Allah would make it all right, but right now I am beginning to doubt it... I've lost my fear to Allah.. Please help me... Tell me what should I do...!!!
:heated:

Same problem here...yeah but my dad is not a hypocrite. If he himself doesn't offer prayer, he don't ask others to. :(

Sister, I can tell you from my experience that nothing of the above advices worked in my case. :( but maybe they would in yours.

I had to and is still trying to sort this out myself. I have like tried each and everything but of no avail.

You should pray to God for his guidance! Announce always the time for prayers. Force him in a nice manner to go to masjid for prayers.

And Allah knows best! imsad

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[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu`Alaaykum Dear Sistah. . .
Alhamdulilaah to hear you was born in a family who accepte Islaam the Deen of truth!
However,Sis this life is not forever we will have many harships and trials as Allaah tells us he will test us in many ways and this is how i see ur situation as a test from the Allah Allmighty to see how we deal with each situation and at the end Allaah rewards us according to the deed. We cant get to Jannah just like that you gotta think common sense, its like saying to pass an exam at school/college/uni we work soo hard to pass it, but this test is from Allaah allmighty we have to work hard, we struggle to strive to get to Jannah. That is why you are not the only one down or upset or angry, there are people everywhere in this Dunya who have to deal with hardships through out their lives and some every day, every second of there life etc. Note that is like a support that you are not alone! And it makes me feel sad when you said "You have nobody to talk to", you know Ibraheem (as) was the prophet known to be the friend of Allaah, Prophet Muhammad sallahu alaayhi wa salam when he was upset he would call upon Allaah to help him and im not saying your not allowed to ask people for advice at all, im saying that Allaah is the best friend the one you can trust and he is your LORD, who created you! Also know that the Prophets peace be upon them all were an example for mankind to how to deal with certain situatiions in life InshaAllaah when you study them you will see how they dealt with harships, family etc. You are not alone and remind yourself constantly Allaah is with you! Allaah says if you remember him he will remember you! I quote surah Baqarah verse 152 where Allaah your mercyful lord says: "Then do ye remember Me I will remember you." now how does that make you feel about what you said aye?

Allaah says he tests you as i previously said earlier in this post , i quote Surah Baqarah once again verses 155 to 157:"And we will surely test you with some fear, hunger and shortages of property, people and produce. But give good tidings to the steadfast. Those who, when a calamity befalls them say: "We belong to Allah and to Him we return." Upon these are prayers from their Lord and mercy and these are the rightly-guided ones."
Al-Baqarah: 155-157

Know that the best believer is the one that smiles through time of harship!

All the best , and if ive been harsh or said anything wrong please forgive me. .

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam . . . .

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assalamualaikum.. I am a 22 year old female and was born in a family that accepted Islam. However, my dad is not really the religious type.. It's not like he drinks or doing other forbidden things, but he doesn't pray and would not pay his zakaat... I think he is being hypocrite when he would advise us to pray, but he would not do the same. I believe his actions are caused by the upbringing of my grandparents, who only teach him that life is about finding money. I also hate that my paternal side have this habit of thinking they are superior and they always talk bad about people. It's as if everyone are not as superior as them.

Ever since I was small, I always helped my dad with his business.. I'll carry heavy things that you might never imagine.. I never had any good friends, and I believe I don't have a life either.. It's all about helping my dad, making sure I don't do anything that could hurt them and studying..

The problem is that I have lost my respect and temper to stand my family. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel I am all alone... I used to think that Allah would make it all right, but right now I am beginning to doubt it... I've lost my fear to Allah.. Please help me... Tell me what should I do...!!!
:heated:

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallah khayran for sharing your issue with us. My sister i'm sure most of us have familiy members who arew not practising so i'm sure a lot of us can relate to your issue. But what we must realise is that guidance is ONLY in the hands of Allah and Allah has said himself that if he wanted to then he can guide everyone on this earth. But it depends on a persons heart and it is upto us to make the required effort. We can only do so much to try and get our familys, relatives, friends and people around us to change their ways and go towards Allah. All we can do is give them dawah in the most beautiful of manners using wisdom and tact and then make dua to Allah. That is all we can do and the rest is upto Allah. In the same way you can only advise your father so much and make dua for him.

Everyone will be accountable for themselves on the day of judgement and you should give him dawah in the most beautiful of manner using wisdom and tact now and again not always as if you do it always then it will start to go in one ear and come out of the other. Then make dua for him and make the best of your own life as your time is also very short here and may end at any second.

Also my sister you should realise that whatever you do to help your father and your family then your reward is not with them but with Allah. So help your family and treat them the best for Allah will reward you for your efforts and helping ones family for the pleasure of Allah is great reward. Your father loves you and wants the best for you so if he wants you to pray then what is so wrong with that? Just because he does'nt it does'nt mean he does not want the best for you. It is clear that shaythan is wanting to create resentment in your heart for your family and you must realise that shaythan is your sworn enemy anmd only wants your destruction. Therefore will you tlisten to shaythan? Or will you disregard him and treat your family the best for the pleasure of Allah and get as close to Allah as possible?

Therefore do not let shaythan cause hatred and resentment in your heart for your family. He is only fooling you. Your family loves you more than you can imagine. All you do good for them is great reward for you. Your father wants the best for you. So give him dawah in the most gentle and beautiful of manners and make dua for him and rely upon Allah for the rest.

My sister you should realise that our parents have been given the highest status by Allah and therefore we must always treat them the best and hold them in high regards no matter what. Our children will treat us how we treated our parents so treat themn the best for our reward is with Allah and we ONLY have one set of parents and they will not be with us forever so let us make the best use of every second we have with them and treat them the best and NEVER even say "uff" to them whatever they say or do to us.

You must not let yourself feel isolated. Your family are everything to you and you are everything to them. You should open up more to your family and share your feelings with them rather than let your feelings get blocked up. You should share everything you feel with Allah and you will find peace and solace.

You should always fulfill all of your Salaah and increase your remembrance of Allah and ask of him to bless your family and your household with light. You should also try to learn as much about Islam as possible for knowledge is what will bring us out of darkness and into light. Join an Islamic sisters circle, halaqa, talks and activities and ONLY hang around with good and pious company keep away from bad friends especially those who indulge in haraam.
Ramadhan is around the corner so prepare for it now so that you can make the best use of every second in Ramadhan for it is a month that we should make the best use of and NOT waste a single second of.

Everything will be be fine my sister as long as you put your FULL faith, trust, hope and reliance in Allah for Allah is wanting you close to him so share everything with him and you will be more than satisfied and content.

Here are some very beneficial lectures on death and the hereafter which you should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:


Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg


and Allah knows best in all matters

and Allah knows best in all matters.

[roses88]

Assalamualaikum.. Thank you all for taking the time to advise me.. :) Honestly I thought that this thread would never be replied by anyone.. Thanks again.. I would definitely try to change myself and Insyallah, I would.. Thanks Hamza81 for the lists of lectures, I would take my time to pound upon it.. Once again, Thank you to all of you.. :D