/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Looking for guidance- A victim of Rape



blubutterfly82
07-15-2010, 05:47 PM
When I start my day, or try to 'live' each day- I don't seem to know when it will strike but it has become a routine that I anticipate for that depression, severe anxiety and fear of life to strike.

Its a feeling that somebody has taken away everything from me and the one I am with- the person to whom I am married to, who, without having a better way of dealing with the ghastly and horrific incident that happened to his wife, has now inflicted further emotional repercussions on me (the wife) to save himself from the emotional pain and perhaps gain any little form of happiness for himself. Probably for him, pretending to be oblivious helps him cope.

I believe in Allah but my faith has been considerably shaken and I am scared and feeling hopeless most of the time. Early this year because of circumstances surrounding some of my life's other events- I found myself back in my home country attending to family. My mother-inlaw passed away soon after our marriage 2 years ago. This time I witnessed that my father-in-law was commiting Sihr/ black magic not only on other people but also discovered on my husband so as to separate us, so that my husband realizes what it is like to be without a wife. My father in law pretends to be religious, but employs people who do the Sihr work for him. I soon found out that I was on many levels a victim of the Sihr that he was committing. Out of respect, I didnot bring it up or tell my husband as my husband does not believe in these things. I informed my parents, and they in turn were referred to an "Imam" from a well-known mosque who apparently gives duas to read and has ways of rectifying or breaking the effects of Sihr. He was renowned it seems in being able to foresee and tell if any person is under a 'bad spell' or in other words, a victim of black magic. Somehow, through works of Jinn or some other method, to my surprise he was able to say everything accurately as to what has happened in my life (thereby gaining trust). According to this religious scholar, I was a victim of 'black magic'. I did not want to believe it, but there were no grounds to question this scholar as he was an Imam (priest) of a well-known Mosque.

It is worse than death itself- to live with the knowledge of their daughters life being compromised and being unable to protect their daughter. This priest had established his trust within our household
As a part of the 'cure' to rid me of the bad spell that was done to me, he had given me duas to read and in addition to that- bottles of 'holy water' to drink over couple of weeks. In my parents home, on one such day as the 'cure' was being implemented- he locked the room that I was in . He then went on to rape me - in my parents home. It was for a few brief seconds but that was all it took to get me impregnated. We found out much later that the Imam himself took advantage of my situation and committed Sihr on me to keep me under his control so that I would provide him with money. I dont have complete recollection now, but kept calling him every day for 5-6 weeks- as though I had no hold over my own life.
He mentioned on that day and on the days following, that notifying family would only bring more harm to me and my family's life safety. It was a threat that was repeatedly mentioned.He repeatedly kept brainwashing me and added to that the threat of harming my family. In the mean time, I came back to live with my husband in the USA- but the phone calls to that 'Imam' (priest) had to continue. I tried to live life as normal as possible- despite having my life sucked out of me. I kept thinking that perhaps if I could keep this ghastly act and knowledge of the violation of my body and my being confined within myself- I can still keep my family who were miles away from me safe and 'happy'. This religious scholar has contacts with the mafia and other corrupt political folks.

But very soon, I noticed that I had become pregnant from that rape. Horrified, since mentally I didnot seem to be able to muster the strength to take on any more threat or hardships- I managed to somehow find information on clinics and went ahead to visit the clinic and initiate an abortion. In all of this- with the phone calls to that rapist and my visits to the clinic, my husband found out what had happened. His life, in that one instant- fell apart. It was devastating to say the least. I had barely come to terms of what had happened with me and now the confrontation with my husband seemed too unrealistic to bare and to be happening to me. It was as though, I was being made to suffer through many more injuries at one given time. He informed my parents and they were in disbelief. That brought further shame on me. But as the shock set in, it has since then become difficult for them to live through life. My parents are elderly and they tried to complain to higher authority. My family stands by me today despite living with the pain of their daughter being a victim. As for that man who raped me- He is on the run, but living a free life. I wonder how many more girls and women has he raped in this way? How many families have suffered and asked to pay lump sums to him to keep the families from being emotionally raped over and over again?

I had known my husband for 8 years before we got married. We got married 2 years ago and we don't yet have any children. As for me, my husband put forth this decision- the decision to have me stay in that marriage after almost one week of suffocation to bear that knowledge- he has said that I either choose my family which includes parents, siblings, extended relatives OR I choose him. I chose him. It was extremely difficult for him, and still is, to accept me and trust me to not engage in sexual activity with another person. To him its not rape- its adultery. He does not see this as rape. He sees this as a negotiation that I did with that priest- where I get all my problems in life erased, if I consent to sex. He refuses to think any different.
He is not a believing Muslim and I have not disclosed to him the reasons behind why that Imam was contacted by my family. Because that would mean disclosing my father in laws activities of Sihr, and my husband does not believe in Sihr.

I need some help in figuring out what I can do to cope and how can I bring myself to coping and fixing my marriage. I need desperately need guidance so that I can find some hope in this life that I have left to live through.

My husband constantly interrogates me, emotionally abuses me through his questions and statements and because of that I feel I have lost everything in my life.
Please help me and guide me....what can i do to feel strong inside and to restore my faith in myself. May Allah guide me.

I seek guidance from you, brothers and sisters. I know that my husband will always think that this was adultery and zina , but not rape. Because I had continued those phone calls to the rapist.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Muslimeen
07-16-2010, 05:54 AM
It is really a sad story sister, I don't know what to say, it is shocking!

I know of many bogus people who claim to be alims and gifted in removing sihr and jinns etc, but mostly motivated by money. It is the first time I hear of someone taking advantage and preying on an innocent women. It makes my blood boil, people like this should be eradicated from society, I don't care which mafia they have contacts with.:raging:

I can understand your husbands point of view, especially that you continued to call this man even after this whole incident and had not mentioned it to anyone until you fell pregnant. I will be honest, I am not sure what you can do to win the trust of your husband, but I think you should not be so hard on yourself, it was rape after all and allah knows this. Make dua to allah to soften his heart insha allah. I make dua to allah to make it easy for you, to give you strength and guide you in doing what is best for your marriage. Ameen.
Reply

Muslim Woman
07-16-2010, 06:05 AM
Salaam Sis ,

Why ur husband does not believe in Sihr / black magic ? Sura Falak and Sura nas were revealed when Prophet pbuh suffered because of this problem .

may Allah makes life easy for you . Ameen.
Reply

blubutterfly82
07-16-2010, 02:36 PM
Dear Sister,
My husband's faith in Islam has been shaken for quite some time now, despite his Mother having taught him well about Islam, as she herself was a practicing and knowledgeable woman. His faith has been further shaken after attaining knowledge of these incidents. He does not believe in Sihr, although believes in the Jinn. But overall, faith in Islam or any religion has fallen apart for him. Please keep me in your prayers and dua's.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
blubutterfly82
07-16-2010, 02:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimeen
It is really a sad story sister, I don't know what to say, it is shocking!

I know of many bogus people who claim to be alims and gifted in removing sihr and jinns etc, but mostly motivated by money. It is the first time I hear of someone taking advantage and preying on an innocent women. It makes my blood boil, people like this should be eradicated from society, I don't care which mafia they have contacts with.:raging:

I can understand your husbands point of view, especially that you continued to call this man even after this whole incident and had not mentioned it to anyone until you fell pregnant. I will be honest, I am not sure what you can do to win the trust of your husband, but I think you should not be so hard on yourself, it was rape after all and allah knows this. Make dua to allah to soften his heart insha allah. I make dua to allah to make it easy for you, to give you strength and guide you in doing what is best for your marriage. Ameen.

Dear Brother,
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I have reached a point where I don't know who I can turn to for some compassion and understanding, besides Allah. I do not have anything to look forward to in life, I feel. I had not wronged anyone. I just did not have the courage to stand up for myself. When one is stripped off their self-respect in such a brutal way and their loved ones only further victimize that person...then it becomes difficult to figure out which way my life should be heading. I live each day, being reminded directly or indirectly about these acts. My husbands lack of belief in Sihr or in our religion complicates things further. He does not believe that the Imam committed sorcery on me to keep me under his control for those 2 months. He does not believe that his father also would commit those Sihr work (despite witnessing it himself). He believes that Sihr doesnt work.
Please make dua for me, so that life is a little bit easier; and perhaps so that I can find a little bit of happiness in my life, InshaAllah. Ameen.
Reply

Muslim Woman
07-16-2010, 11:18 PM
Salaam Sis;

life is a test for hereafter ; pl. have patience.

"With every hardship, comes ease. Verily, with hardship comes ease." (94:5-6)
Reply

جوري
07-17-2010, 01:27 AM
sob7an Allah.. I don't know what to say? Do you love your husband, or has this situation marred your life in such a way that not only are you unable to move forward with your life with him but at the same time have cut all ties to your elderly parents who perhaps in their ignorance all they desired to do was help?..

I don't know what to say or think sister.. Perhaps starting a new chapter and closing this one with all that is in it is the best choice for you now? What do you think? sob7an Allah.. I'd also recommend some medical counseling sister or family counseling .. pls consider this, you need to work these issues with someone trained as well find a support group with others who have shared in this harrowing experience..

may Allah swt ease your affairs and replace your sorrows with happiness and peace..

ameen..

:w:
Reply

Muslimeen
07-19-2010, 07:13 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by blubutterfly82
Dear Brother,
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I have reached a point where I don't know who I can turn to for some compassion and understanding, besides Allah. I do not have anything to look forward to in life, I feel. I had not wronged anyone. I just did not have the courage to stand up for myself. When one is stripped off their self-respect in such a brutal way and their loved ones only further victimize that person...then it becomes difficult to figure out which way my life should be heading. I live each day, being reminded directly or indirectly about these acts. My husbands lack of belief in Sihr or in our religion complicates things further. He does not believe that the Imam committed sorcery on me to keep me under his control for those 2 months. He does not believe that his father also would commit those Sihr work (despite witnessing it himself). He believes that Sihr doesnt work.
Please make dua for me, so that life is a little bit easier; and perhaps so that I can find a little bit of happiness in my life, InshaAllah. Ameen.
Your situation is very difficult, I can understand, but insha allah it will bring you closer to allah. It is sad that your husbands faith in the religion of allah has been weakend. We have to make a constant effort on this imaan and ensure we strengthen it with the passing of every day and not becoming complacent that we have achieved enough.

I once heard that every difficulty that comes upon a person is either a form of mercy or a punishment from allah. The way to distinguish what it is, is to see the effect it has on a person after the event occurs. If the difficulty brings a person closer to allah, then in essence it is a mercy of allah, and if it draws him away from allah then it is in essence a punishment from allah. Insha allah this difficulty that you are undergoing will turn out to be a rahmah from allah, and bring you closer to him and strengthen you in your imaan. Ameen.
Reply

blubutterfly82
07-19-2010, 05:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ
sob7an Allah.. I don't know what to say? Do you love your husband, or has this situation marred your life in such a way that not only are you unable to move forward with your life with him but at the same time have cut all ties to your elderly parents who perhaps in their ignorance all they desired to do was help?..

I don't know what to say or think sister.. Perhaps starting a new chapter and closing this one with all that is in it is the best choice for you now? What do you think? sob7an Allah.. I'd also recommend some medical counseling sister or family counseling .. pls consider this, you need to work these issues with someone trained as well find a support group with others who have shared in this harrowing experience..

may Allah swt ease your affairs and replace your sorrows with happiness and peace..

ameen..

:w:
Dear Sister,
We had known each other for so long before we got married, but despite little fights here and there, just like in any marriage- it was all normal. Even for my husband, loving me and accepting me is difficult at the moment, but he is trying very hard. For me, every day life is difficult- As I am unable to love myself or accept myself as I am, it has been affecting my feelings towards my husband or anyone. I feel that I have lost the capacity to be happy or to love/care for anyone. I have triggers and flashbacks of the incident. I hurt for my parents all the time and accepting the reality of being unable to communicate with them makes me scared. They are not to blame for what happened and I know they are also suffering emotionally because of what happened with me and I am always been very close to my family. It is hurtful to be in a state where I have no contact with family/siblings/relatives. My husband speaks profanity about them every now and then, which makes me spiral back into a depressed state. I keep thinking that being subjected to emotional torture like this.....how long can I survive through this?

I feel a lot of the times, that it would be best if I could live just by myself- without any male presence in my life. This incident seems to have taken away my very 'being', changed my personality, attitude and I am now a totally different person. Few days of the week I am normal when I am amongst people. Inshallah I am praying to Allah so that my hardship and my thought process gets changed. I did seek therapy for a month, but had to move to another city for a few months. I hope to resume trauma counseling soon in a months time- although my husband thinks that it is a joke, because this was not a rape (according to him). My therapist asked me to join support group so that I can interact with people who have faced similar situations.

Most days I don't seem to have the basic ability to function and do normal household chores and I seem to lose all purpose to live through life.
I am praying to Allah so that I am not hurt anymore and that justice is served.
Reply

جوري
07-19-2010, 09:20 PM
:sl:

I am not sure this is the sort of thing that will go away by itself.. it is like having tooth decay or some physical ailment, it needs remedy, it needs attention..
I think that it is comfortable to be 'alone' but it isn't the right thing it is just an easy thing, believe me I can relate to that aspect.. I however think that you need to seek counseling and preferably with your husband.. it will take time to heal the greater the wound the longer the healing time.. but healing does and will happen insha'Allah if you are willing to give it a try and not just do it tongue in cheek...

:w:
Reply

Tyrion
07-20-2010, 07:53 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ
:sl:

I am not sure this is the sort of thing that will go away by itself.. it is like having tooth decay or some physical ailment, it needs remedy, it needs attention..
I think that it is comfortable to be 'alone' but it isn't the right thing it is just an easy thing, believe me I can relate to that aspect.. I however think that you need to seek counseling and preferably with your husband.. it will take time to heal the greater the wound the longer the healing time.. but healing does and will happen insha'Allah if you are willing to give it a try and not just do it tongue in cheek...

:w:
I agree completely. I'm so sorry all this had to happen to you, but please listen to τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ and seek help...
Reply

ziyad
07-20-2010, 01:35 PM
I hate to mention it, but I don't think someone can take control of your life with Sihr. They can make you sick, but I don't think they can make you like them. If they could, believe me a man would have any women he wants, just get someone to make Sihr on her and she's yours. Obviously such a person would have a very low level of imaan or be a non muslim.

I am not sure about exactly what went on with you and this Sihr guy, but it's obvious your husband won't believe you, fine he was there to treat you, but why were you alone in the room with him?? Where were your parents when this happened? did'nt you scream when he came onto you?? Or do you just blame the "Sihr" so that's why you did'nt fight him?? Maybe you led him on?

I am sorry but I find this hard to swallow, and to top it all off, you still phone him after he raped you? Common, I was not born yesterday. You may have fooled the rest of the people on this forum, but not me, when a lady claims rape, the whole world feels sorry for her, irrespective of the circumstances, maybe you are just trying to justify your actions. This story just has too many holes, it leaks like a sieve.
Reply

__follower
07-20-2010, 03:16 PM
may allah make it easier for u .ameen
Reply

Snowflake
07-22-2010, 12:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ziyad
I hate to mention it, but I don't think someone can take control of your life with Sihr. They can make you sick, but I don't think they can make you like them. If they could, believe me a man would have any women he wants, just get someone to make Sihr on her and she's yours. Obviously such a person would have a very low level of imaan or be a non muslim.

I am not sure about exactly what went on with you and this Sihr guy, but it's obvious your husband won't believe you, fine he was there to treat you, but why were you alone in the room with him?? Where were your parents when this happened? did'nt you scream when he came onto you?? Or do you just blame the "Sihr" so that's why you did'nt fight him?? Maybe you led him on?

I am sorry but I find this hard to swallow, and to top it all off, you still phone him after he raped you? Common, I was not born yesterday. You may have fooled the rest of the people on this forum, but not me, when a lady claims rape, the whole world feels sorry for her, irrespective of the circumstances, maybe you are just trying to justify your actions. This story just has too many holes, it leaks like a sieve.
MashaAllahhhhhh!! How amazing to read your post doubting and suspecting the sister of committing zina! Did you see her do that? Who are you Sherlock bloody Holmes? Your post has sickened me to the teeth. Allah has prescribed a punishment for those who accuse chaste women of adultery. Just cuz you don't believe in sihr being able to render people unable to defend themselves from rape, that doesn't mean it isn't possible. It happens a lot in the Indo-Pak subcontinent. And yes, it affects us most when our imaan is weak or when we don't take the necessary measures to protect ourselves from it. Even the Blessed prophet (saw) was afflicted. There are forms of black majic that will make you walk out of your home in a trance right into the arms of a magician - never mind making phone calls.
Before you open your mouth again make sure you know what you're talking about. May Allah have mercy on the sister and humiliate her attacker. Ameen.
Reply

ziyad
07-22-2010, 01:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
MashaAllahhhhhh!! How amazing to read your post doubting and suspecting the sister of committing zina! Did you see her do that? Who are you Sherlock bloody Holmes? Your post has sickened me to the teeth. Allah has prescribed a punishment for those who accuse chaste women of adultery. Just cuz you don't believe in sihr being able to render people unable to defend themselves from rape, that doesn't mean it isn't possible. It happens a lot in the Indo-Pak subcontinent. And yes, it affects us most when our imaan is weak or when we don't take the necessary measures to protect ourselves from it. Even the Blessed prophet (saw) was afflicted. There are forms of black majic that will make you walk out of your home in a trance right into the arms of a magician - never mind making phone calls.
Before you open your mouth again make sure you know what you're talking about. May Allah have mercy on the sister and humiliate her attacker. Ameen.
Maybe every rapist should learn sihr, that way they can get away scotts free. What a joke.
Salaam, I am leaving this forum to you elitest group. Go on bashing each other up for all I care.
Reply

Salahudeen
07-22-2010, 01:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ziyad
I hate to mention it, but I don't think someone can take control of your life with Sihr. They can make you sick, but I don't think they can make you like them. If they could, believe me a man would have any women he wants, just get someone to make Sihr on her and she's yours. Obviously such a person would have a very low level of imaan or be a non muslim.

I am not sure about exactly what went on with you and this Sihr guy, but it's obvious your husband won't believe you, fine he was there to treat you, but why were you alone in the room with him?? Where were your parents when this happened? did'nt you scream when he came onto you?? Or do you just blame the "Sihr" so that's why you did'nt fight him?? Maybe you led him on?

I am sorry but I find this hard to swallow, and to top it all off, you still phone him after he raped you? Common, I was not born yesterday. You may have fooled the rest of the people on this forum, but not me, when a lady claims rape, the whole world feels sorry for her, irrespective of the circumstances, maybe you are just trying to justify your actions. This story just has too many holes, it leaks like a sieve.
I've seen sihr that made a lady take 5k from her bank account and walk straight to the magcian and put it in his hand. The magcian in this case was also phoning her and communicating/influencing her this way. The lady didn't plan to do it but the jinn made her feel she had to. When the magic was cured from ruqya she deeply regretted what she done and couldn't understand what made her give the money to him.

There is such a thing as sihr of love also sheikhs have spoken on it, I will give you a quote from a book on it.
Reply

Snowflake
07-22-2010, 01:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ziyad
Maybe every rapist should learn sihr, that way they can get away scotts free. What a joke.
Salaam, I am leaving this forum to you elitest group. Go on bashing each other up for all I care.
Good idea, before your replies get more typically culturized
Reply

Snowflake
07-22-2010, 01:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by squiggle
I've seen sihr that made a lady take 5k from her bank account and walk straight to the magcian and put it in his hand. The magcian in this case was also phoning her and communicating/influencing her this way. The lady didn't plan to do it but the jinn made her feel she had to. When the magic was cured from ruqya she deeply regretted what she done and couldn't understand what made her give the money to him.

There is such a thing as sihr of love also sheikhs have spoken on it, I will give you a quote from a book on it.
JazakAllah khayr for sharing.
Reply

Salahudeen
07-22-2010, 02:00 PM
"The prophet said: "Ar-ruqa, at-tama'im and at-tiwala are acts of polytheism"

According to Ibn - Al Athir, at - tiwala is a type of sihr which makes a man love his wife, The reason why this type of Sihr is classed by the prophet as an act of polythisem is because those who have it done for them believe that it has an effect and does the opposite of what Allah has prescribed.

I would look to emphasis the Ruqya referred to in the above hadith is the one which seeks assistance of jinns and devils and consists of acts classed as polytheistic. However the Ruqya which is based upon the Qur'an and lawful supplications of Allah is Lawful.

Symptoms of Sihr of Love

1. Excessive love and passion
2.Extreme desire to have sexual intercourse
3.Impatience of remaining without having sexual intercourse
4.Extreme lust
5.Blind obedience

How the Sihr of love takes place

Marital squabbles happen and are often resolved in a short time and life goes back to normal between a man and his wife. However a woman who can not show patience would immediately go to a sahir and ask him to work out a sihr which would let her be very much loved by her husband. This may be due to a defect in her faith or to her ignorance of the fact that this is unlawful. The sahir would ask her to provide a trace of her husbands scent (a hanker chief, cap, piece of cloth or flannel) provided that these items contain the smell of her husband's sweat so they should not be new or clean.

The Sahir would take some threads from these items, blow on them, tie a knot around them and ask the woman to bury them in a deserted place. The sahir would also prepare a spell in water or food - the worst sihr is done in filth or menses discharge and ask the woman to put it in her husbands food drink or perfume.

Adverse effects of Sihr of love

1. Sometime the person who sihr of love has been done on, falls ill as a result of this Sihr
2.Sometimes the sihr back fires and the person actually hates the person instead of loving them

Taken from the book "sword against black magic and evil magcians".
Reply

Salahudeen
07-22-2010, 02:07 PM
@ the thread OP please read this thread, it contains the signs of a magician so you never fall into this trap again when seeking help.

http://www.islamicboard.com/aqeedah/...-magician.html

Also if you would like to learn about the topic of magic I can recommend some books. To protect yourself recite the surah's and dua's for protection, do you know them? As long as you recite these surah's and put ur trust in Allah any magic won't be able to harm you.

The below thread contains protective du'a and verses.

http://www.islamicboard.com/aqeedah/...ction-dua.html
Reply

Rhubarb Tart
07-22-2010, 03:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ziyad
Maybe every rapist should learn sihr, that way they can get away scotts free. What a joke.
Salaam, I am leaving this forum to you elitest group. Go on bashing each other up for all I care.
I can see you have disabled your account. Good riddance and don’t let the door hit on your way back.

@ OP

Salaam

It is all well people giving their opinions on this dreadful incident and circumstances you are in, we cannot help but to tell you seek professional advice and counselling. Both you and your husband need to face this and discuss with professional (together and one to one basis).

The professional isn’t going to just sit and listen but s/he would give coping strategies you can apply in your life. It is going to be painful talking about it but you have taken the step to ask for help in this forum. Take one step further and seek professional help with your husband. Good luck

Ameen to duas.
Reply

omi_lucky
08-29-2010, 11:41 AM
salam
sister i send u a massege on talkaboutmarriage.com after readin ur post ........ but sister in this websit u described ur point of story in more detail manner .....

well sister please dont ask for ALLAH'S EQUAL JUDGMENT but instead ask for ALLAH'S MERCY... because when u ask about ALLAH'S JUDGMENT then HE will ask u about every single matter that u have done example violation of ur husband's right ... a single moment in which u r involve in this matter ... etc so ASK FOR ALLAH'S MERCY

first u please read the massage i send on talkaboutmarriage.com then a few think i need to add here is that ur husband is accepting u as his wife is very much appreciable ...

listen sister PROPHET (SAW) SAID " IF OFFERING SAJDAH IS ALLOW FOR A HUMAN IN-FRONT OF AN OTHER HUMAN THEN IT WILL B WIFE TO OFFER SAJDAH IN-FRONT OF HIS HUSBAND " ...
the reason i m tellin u all about this is that u r becomin more frustrated about ur husband behaviour but ur husband is right at his stance .... can u justify ur phone call because now every1 know about ur rape the rapist cant even harm ur family ... first sister hiding the so much important matter from ur husband is very unrealistic... just a matter think the rapist made u help him financially if he want u to share bed with other guys then what u could do ... see the hiding from husband is itself is a big issue ...

secondly sister if the sehar is so much powerful that it made u make call to rapist as u mentioned " I dont have complete recollection now, but kept calling him every day for 5-6 weeks- as though I had no hold over my own life. " ....y the sehar just vanish after ur husband is aware with the situation ... think about this

sister may b u r right about ur rape but sister ur part of story is so much weak.. so please compromise with the situation as u r tryin ur level best to deal with ....

it has been 2 days n nights i didnt sleep sound after readin ur post on talkaboutmarriage.com n constantly remember u n ur husband in my prayers n in future i will always remember u in my prayers INSHA ALLAH ....

in talkaboutmarriage i have send u private massege in which i post u possible solution of ur situation so plsz read that also with open heart ... not to take my advise in biased manner ... i may sound harsh but want to help u sister ...

take care

ALLAH HAFIZ
Reply

omi_lucky
08-29-2010, 12:08 PM
sweet106
scents of jannah
and ziyad

dont make this forum male vs female ... v r here to help n guide each other but not 2 fight with each other .....
this sister is in real need for help n v must try our level best to help her .....
n ziyad plsz dont just accused her ... i understand that u r right at some extend but u cant just accused her because she is saying about sehar n this really exsist but at which extend the sehar was effective that is an issue ....

pray IN-FRONT OF ALLAH IF SHE IS CLEAN N PURE THEN ALLAH MUST SHOW HIS SIGN TO PROVE HIS CHASTITY ....

n blubetterfly u must answer any question asked bu ur husband although it is difficult but u must because when ever a wrong allegation is posted on any PROPHET (A.S) HE ALWAYS ANSWER HIS PEOPLE ABOUT ALLEGATION THAT IS SUNNAH OF PROPHET (A.S)... just sittin back n not answerin is wrong n just brought more allegation n nothing more ....

so sisters n brothers dont just accused until it is valid .....
take care
ALLAH HAFIZ
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!