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AudreyLynn
08-02-2010, 01:59 AM
Hello... I'm new to my beliefs. I live in a 99% white, Christian community. This is all very new to me and I'd like some help. I'm not ready in my heart yet to take my Shahadah. But I do believe in God and the Muhammad (pbuh) is His prophet. I'd just like to talk to some sisters to get a real life women's perspective of life as a Muslim woman in today's world. Thank you in advance.
~Lynn
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Rabi Mansur
08-02-2010, 02:15 AM
:sl:
Welcome Sister Audrey Lynne. Hope some sisters show up soon to answer your questions. There are some real impressive people here who should be able to help you.
:welcome:

:wa:
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marwen
08-02-2010, 02:34 AM
Assalamu Alaykom.
Welcome to the forum sister. Hope you have a talk soon with sisters here and discuss your beliefs. But don't panic, Islam is just the right natural way of life, but people don't know it so they think it's hard or scary to be a muslim. I advise you to read some quran, it will make you concentrate and make the right decision you want to do. And put you trust on Allah, He will always be in your side to guide you and support you.
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PouringRain
08-02-2010, 03:52 AM
Welcome to the forum. :)
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Insaanah
08-02-2010, 08:52 AM
A very warm :welcome: to the forum, Audrey Lynn,

Great to have you on board.

Personally, I feel a Muslim woman in today's world, is a strong, independent minded woman who rather than obeying and conforming to what society and people may dictate, obeys her Lord, and feels happy and proud in doing so, despite obstacles and objections. As morality declines, society changes it's values. What was a crime yesterday is no longer a crime today. Allah does not change his mind on things. What He deems wrong is always wrong. In Islam, the standards of morality of what's right and wrong don't come from society or from humans, nor do they change to conform to the moral decay in society. We don't join in the decay, but stand firmly by what is correct. We don't change our dress to conform. Our standards of modesty don't come from what's acceptable in society, but from Allah. Muslim women today dress closer to the dress of Mary (peace be upon her) than most Christians.

That's my personal take on it anyway. I hope others will be able to give their insights too.

Please feel free to ask all your questions and share you concerns here. We're all here for you and will do our best to help you.

Peace.
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Ramadhan
08-02-2010, 09:39 AM
Welcome to the forum sister!

Hope some of us will be able to help you.
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-02-2010, 10:46 AM
Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
Hello... I'm new to my beliefs. I live in a 99% white, Christian community. This is all very new to me and I'd like some help. I'm not ready in my heart yet to take my Shahadah. But I do believe in God and the Muhammad (pbuh) is His prophet. I'd just like to talk to some sisters to get a real life women's perspective of life as a Muslim woman in today's world. Thank you in advance.
~Lynn
Greetings and Welcome Lynn.
what exactly would you like to know about Muslim women? we have a lot of intelligent Muslim women on this forum, so fire away with your questions.

please do not hesitate to ask any other questions you have regarding Islam.
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Misz_Muslimah
08-02-2010, 03:09 PM
:sl:
Welcome to the forum! :)
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Asiyah3
08-02-2010, 03:58 PM
Welcome to LI. :) Please feel free to ask any questions. :)
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AudreyLynn
08-02-2010, 06:27 PM
Thank you all for your warm welcomes. You all seem very helpful, Insane Insaan especially gave a good perspective of things. I was raised a Christian my whole life. I saw the hypocrisy in it, began to question things, and what drew me toward Islam is the sincerity of it. Such a firm standing on keeping the beliefs true in a secular world. One thing I am dealing with is the shame of my old life. I haven't always dressed modestly. It kills me to think of the things I've worn. I just know I'm going to have to deal with that on my soul forever and hope that Allah can forgive me of it.
~Lynn
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aadil77
08-02-2010, 06:32 PM
When you accept islam Allah forgives you of all your previous sins :shade:
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أحمد
08-02-2010, 06:42 PM
:sl:

Welcome to LI Islamic Forum.

:wa:
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AudreyLynn
08-02-2010, 06:50 PM
I just feel like my body has no worth anymore. I have nothing to offer my husband.
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Insaanah
08-02-2010, 06:54 PM
Peace AudreyLynn

Anybody that becomes a Muslim, no matter how bad their past, the moment they declare their shahada, they become as free of sin as the day they were born from their mothers womb. You start afresh with a clean slate. Previous sins wiped out and forgiven.

If you feel your body has no worth because of how you may have dressed in the past, that past will have been forgiven.

It is a completely new beginning, your body will have more worth than it will have had at any stage in your life.

I'm assuming thats what you meant, but let me know if not.

Peace.
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aadil77
08-02-2010, 07:02 PM
Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
I just feel like my body has no worth anymore. I have nothing to offer my husband.
Are you saying that because of the way you dress/ed? Well islam has the solution to everything, if you were to become muslim you could put your trust in Allah to conceal your sins, then you could obviously dress in a much more modest way, in a way people might not even recognise you.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
08-02-2010, 07:19 PM
Welcome AudreyLynn

A very warm welcome to you dear Sistah :)
You will meet loadsa Sistahs on this forum who shall try and answer all Questions, so ask whatever you want to know and indeed benefit from it

I hope that you benefit yourself here and enjoy yourself too :D
Like the Brothers and Sistahs have mentioned your previous sins will be deleted :D and you will become clean like a fresh new page :D(thats the way i can put it i guess :-\)

I would love to help you along with other sistahs on this forum, so smile and we shall prepare ourselves to answer and also advice you! (basically help you)

Peace
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AudreyLynn
08-02-2010, 08:45 PM
Yes, I feel like my body has no worth anymore because of the way I used to dress. I dress much more modestly now. But that doesn't change the fact that many guys have seen quite alot of my body. I can't erase that. I know God forgives. But humans aren't as capable as He is to forgive. My husband will have a hard time knowing other men have seen alot of me. I've humbled myself to him, admitted my wrongs, and insist on my change. But it's still not easily forgiven. He's unsure to trust my change.
~Lynn
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Asiyah3
08-02-2010, 09:04 PM
If I may ask are you married?
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Insaanah
08-02-2010, 09:06 PM
I'm guessing, rightly or wrongly, that your husband (or perhaps husband to be) might be a Muslim. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Once you become a Muslim, nobody has the right to taint you or remind you of previous doings. They are the past. If anything, you are showing such great courage and determination at making what are big changes for you, and that is praiseworthy.

I'm not sure of your situation, or whether if anything I say is particularly relevant to it, but these are my initial thoughts (if he is Muslim):

If he is untrusting, unsure of your change, perhaps it might be worth telling him, that you want to let your actions and your faith speak for itself. You want to practice Islam, worship Allah as your Lord, and follow the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to the best of your ability. Ask him whether he would be willing to support you, in your quest to do that, and whether he would be willing to help you grow, learn and develop as a Muslim, and whether that could be a journey of faith you go on together. And tell him you want to forget your past. You will forget it and even though it'll be forgiven still regret it, Allah will forgive it, so he should give you a chance. And tell him, imagine if all new Muslims were viewed with untrust.

You may have already done all this though....
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AudreyLynn
08-02-2010, 10:41 PM
You're correct, my husband to be was raised in a Muslim family. Though he doesn't claim himself as a Muslim, many of his values and beliefs reflect that of one. Many of the things you've suggested I've said. To be fair I've broken his trust in a few ways. I'm not happy with the person I used to be. Him finding out a few things about my past is what made me end up praying on the ground in the first place begging for guidance. That night I felt a change in me. I truly believe God spoke to me while praying he told me to read Surah 73, it spoke to me personally and help clear everything I was asking. That was when I first believed that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the Messenger of God. I've broken my husband's trust in a few different ways and he's wary that this change may be a little too convenient of a time. But I would never mess around with my religion. I'm being honest and true. I regret what I've done and I know it's a long road to forgiveness when it comes to him. And he's told me he'll give me a chance to prove myself, I only hope he can forgive me.
~Lynn
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aadil77
08-03-2010, 12:25 AM
Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
Yes, I feel like my body has no worth anymore because of the way I used to dress. I dress much more modestly now. But that doesn't change the fact that many guys have seen quite alot of my body. I can't erase that. I know God forgives. But humans aren't as capable as He is to forgive. My husband will have a hard time knowing other men have seen alot of me. I've humbled myself to him, admitted my wrongs, and insist on my change. But it's still not easily forgiven. He's unsure to trust my change.
~Lynn
You can always wear the face veil, it might give some assurance to your husband, that the guys that have seen you may never come across you again
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-03-2010, 04:59 AM
Greetings,
Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
Thank you all for your warm welcomes. You all seem very helpful, Insane Insaan especially gave a good perspective of things. I was raised a Christian my whole life. I saw the hypocrisy in it, began to question things, and what drew me toward Islam is the sincerity of it. Such a firm standing on keeping the beliefs true in a secular world. One thing I am dealing with is the shame of my old life. I haven't always dressed modestly. It kills me to think of the things I've worn. I just know I'm going to have to deal with that on my soul forever and hope that Allah can forgive me of it.
~Lynn
its cool. we all commit sins, ones we are aware of and ones we have forgotten or don't know about. the good thing about your situation is that you realize it and thus can change it (many people don't have such privilege). as long as you are breathing then there is still hope to change and realize that things will get better so work your way up slowly slowly. its just matter of time that things get better. please don't give up on Allah or despair. dont let your sins engulf and overwhelm you. we are all on the same par as well. i sincerely hope things so well for you.

Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
I just feel like my body has no worth anymore. I have nothing to offer my husband.
everybody has a worth and you shouldn't underestimate or belittle it. i hope you will see that one day.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
08-03-2010, 01:41 PM
Aslaamu`Alaaykum

When your muslim your whole dress code changes, ie the way you dress and the way you even talk to them.
Them guys probably wont recognise you when you start to dress modestly and besides they have nothing to do with you no more, you shouldnt keep in touch with them and just lower your gaze when around them for example when you see them at the mall/town. It shoudlnt matter what "they" think of you, what should matter is now what Allaah thinks of you and its good that you realise what you did was wrong that really something that will teach you something and something you will be aware off when it comes to your own children.

May Allaah ease your affairs dear sistah, Ameen

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam
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Insaanah
08-03-2010, 06:03 PM
Peace, AudreyLynn,

Ok. It's a good sign that he's told you that he'll give you a chance to prove yourself. It may be that only after you've done that, he'll feel he's able to forgive you. With time, as he sees you develop as a Muslimah, he'll inshaAllah (God willing) realise that you were sincere in your change and are serious about your faith. Allahu a'lam (Allah knows best). Perhaps in his mind he's not sure if he's doing the right thing, or has heard other stories before where things went wrong.

Tell him you're becoming a Muslim for you, and not for him, as you are going to have to answer to Allah for your own deeds. You are doing it because you fear and love Allah, and you want to be successful on the Day of Judgement. And that you feel an inner peace with that (if you do).

And a few other points to remember, AudreyLynn:

-Make sure that if you become Muslim, you're doing it for you, and not for him.

-The one worthy of the greatest fear (and love), is Allah.

-Allah is All-Forgiving, even if humans aren't.

I really hope and pray that things work out for the two of you together, and that you can grow and develop as Muslims together.

We're here to support you.

Peace.
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cat eyes
08-03-2010, 08:57 PM
Originally Posted by AudreyLynn
You're correct, my husband to be was raised in a Muslim family. Though he doesn't claim himself as a Muslim, many of his values and beliefs reflect that of one. Many of the things you've suggested I've said. To be fair I've broken his trust in a few ways. I'm not happy with the person I used to be. Him finding out a few things about my past is what made me end up praying on the ground in the first place begging for guidance. That night I felt a change in me. I truly believe God spoke to me while praying he told me to read Surah 73, it spoke to me personally and help clear everything I was asking. That was when I first believed that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the Messenger of God. I've broken my husband's trust in a few different ways and he's wary that this change may be a little too convenient of a time. But I would never mess around with my religion. I'm being honest and true. I regret what I've done and I know it's a long road to forgiveness when it comes to him. And he's told me he'll give me a chance to prove myself, I only hope he can forgive me.
~Lynn
welcome to the forum.

if hes not in to his own religion and he only carries the name muslim then this is tricky situation.

if you want to revert an all that i wouldn't advise you to marry such a man. im saying this from a scholars point of view. marriages such as this very rarely work out thats why.

May Allah guide you. ameen
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Rhubarb Tart
08-03-2010, 09:07 PM
Salam

:welcome: to the forum. I hope you enjoy your stay..

:statisfie
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