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usmanlol
08-05-2010, 05:06 PM
Assalamualaikum

I hope this is the right section.

I just wanted to say over the past few months I've become really horrible person, sort of animal like. I've become filled with bitterness, rage, jealousy and hatred. I've said lots of regretful things to many people of which I really regret. I've become a great liar. And I like to inflict pain on others. I never really pray my Salah, and if I do its not with 100% sincerety or commitment. I masturbate excessively and am clearly a bad person, let alone a bad Muslim.

However, I have sort of seen the light. With Ramadhan coming up I want to be a good Muslim. Not just a good Muslim, but a good person. Basically I used this thread so people can give me advice on how to be a better person, how to achieve this. How shall I start? How can I purify my soul?

How can I get people to like me again? How can I keep the Satan away from me? How can I get closer to Allah? Any hadith, sayings, etc. would be very helpful and any other advice.

Thank you very much my brothers and sisters.
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aadil77
08-05-2010, 11:28 PM
WaAlaykum AsSalam brother

Ramadan is the month for us to get a fresh start, a clean slate and a boost in our imaan, we'll be using this month for exactly that and so should you.

This is what I'd recommend; but it depends on what you can consistantly keep up:

- First, at the absolute miniumum do what is compulsary upon you; pray all of your five salah on time and keep all your fasts
- Next do loads of optional ibaadah;
1. Make it a habit to read some Quran when waking up and when going to sleep - this will help keep shaytaan away; I'd recommend you read surah mulk because of its virtues
2. Try to finish the Quran during this month, read one juz everyday
3. Pray taraweeh and read all the raka'ahs
4. Try and pray all the sunnah and naafil raka'ahs in each salah
5. Wake up for tahajudd salaah and do as much tauba (repentence) as you can, repent until you start to cry and it will be likely that your repentence is accepted
6. Laylatul Qadr - this is the main event of ramadan, we are told that laylatul qadr can be on any of the odd nights in the last 10 days of ramadan so the 21st/23rd/25th/27th/29th, so we should strive to do as much ibaadah on this night as ibadah on this night is worth more than 1000 months of ibadah - you can read more about it here http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/50693/qadr

So InshAllah doing all this is in ramadan will give you a kick start and bring you closer to Allah

After ramadan, at minimum - stick to praying all your salah, praying some Quran everyday and doing tauba all the time
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-06-2010, 10:14 AM
:sl:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/34306/ten%20pointers
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marwen
08-06-2010, 11:21 PM
Wa Alaykum Assalam.

Brother don't do sins when you are alone, and Allah will help you to be a better muslim.

If you can't stop doing a sin, i.e you are addicted to a sin, then keep in mind that every sin has a cause,
for example : (cause --> sin)
- going with bad friends --> leads you to drinking or smoking or gambling.
- seeing haram pictures --> leads you to bad sexual behaviors.
- staying awake late at night --> makes you miss the fajr prayer.

But sometimes we do the cause, and we try to stop doing the resulting sin, and that's very difficult. We have to avoid the cause and we will be able to avoid the sin easily.
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Hamza Asadullah
08-19-2010, 05:41 PM
Originally Posted by usmanlol
Assalamualaikum

I hope this is the right section.

I just wanted to say over the past few months I've become really horrible person, sort of animal like. I've become filled with bitterness, rage, jealousy and hatred. I've said lots of regretful things to many people of which I really regret. I've become a great liar. And I like to inflict pain on others. I never really pray my Salah, and if I do its not with 100% sincerety or commitment. I masturbate excessively and am clearly a bad person, let alone a bad Muslim.

However, I have sort of seen the light. With Ramadhan coming up I want to be a good Muslim. Not just a good Muslim, but a good person. Basically I used this thread so people can give me advice on how to be a better person, how to achieve this. How shall I start? How can I purify my soul?

How can I get people to like me again? How can I keep the Satan away from me? How can I get closer to Allah? Any hadith, sayings, etc. would be very helpful and any other advice.

Thank you very much my brothers and sisters.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallahu khayran for sharing your issues with us. It is a sign of imaan (faith) that one feels bad and remorseful for their sins and that one wants to change their ways so that they become a better person in order that they can please Almighty Allah.

My brother know that whatever has happened in the past has happened now and you cannot change that but what you can do is learn from it and take lessons from it and make the necessery changes NOW and not tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. What better time than any for one to make these necessery changes to ones life. Therefore you MUST act now and it is clear that Allah is giving your heart inclination to change but you must put in the necessery effort in order to bring those changes into your life. You must internalise these changes and REALLY say to yourself "Enough is enough! I cannot live this way anymore! Death can come to me at ANY second and i CANNOT risk living a life of sin anymore". If you say this to yourself and really internalise that you want to change then this is the first step in taking the steps to change.

You MUST stop hanging around with bad company. We are who our friends are and their influence will rub off on us whether we like it or not. Also know that bad friends or friends that cause you to sin are not true friends at all. They are with you right now but they will be off in no time as soon as some sort of change occurs in their lives. So disregard bad company for it is better to be a loner than to hang around with bad company.

The company of such people is poison; just even sitting and talking with them will lead one to commit sins. Just as a person who sits for a long time with a perfume seller begins to smell nice, and a person who sits by a gutter cleaner begins to smell awful, similarly a person who spends time in the company of the wicked eventually gets affected badly by them.


Rather, we should seek out pious friends who fear Allah taala and who have the qualities of humility, charity, compassion, modesty and knowledge. If we sit with them we will always benefit and they will be a means for us to get closer to Allah taala!


The Prophet (saws) said, “The case of the good companion and the bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blower of the bellows (iron-smith). As for the seller of musk, he will either give you some of the musk, or you will purchase some from him, or at least you will come away having experienced its good smell. Whereas the blower of the bellows will either burn your clothing, or at least you will come away having experienced its repugnant smell.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]


Remember: “All friends will be enemies of one another on that Day (Day of Judgment) except those of the virtuous.” (al-Qur’an 43:67)

You can easily find good company in the Masjid or in Islamic circles, talks, halaqas etc. Ask of Allah to give you good company who will lead you towards Jannah.

You must also realise that as part of making changes to your life that you must fulfill ALL of your obligations to Allah.

The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has guided us. And Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted, has guided us how to draw near to Him. As He said According to Hadith Qudsi:


“Whoever draws near to Me among those drawn near by fulfilling what I have made obligatory on them….


You do not draw near to Allah except by fulfilling the obligatory duties which Allah has made obligatory on you; (that is) the obligatory duties from the obligatory duties (Faraid) such as Prayers, and Zakat (obligatory charity), and Hajj, and Fasting and being good to Parents and all these obligatory duties on you draw you near to Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted.


The faraid (obligatory duties) are the first things that draw you near to Allah. You do not reach the door of nearness nor do you reach to the presence of nearness except by fulfilling the obligatory duties. This is the first thing that draws you near to Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted, and you are in His Presence.


So the first thing we need to do is fulfil ALL of our obligatory duties and abstain from that which Allah and his messenger have forbidden us from.

So establish your Salaah and know that in this most blessed month the fard Salaah is upto 70 times more reward that at any other time and any Nafil Salaah is the reward of a fard Salaah. So bring Salaah into your life and you will bring peace and blessings into your life- as simple as that.


Next step is to make sicnere repentance feeling remorseful for all of the sins one has ever committed with the FULL intention NEVER to repeat such act or acts again. We must fear Allah for if death strikes then what will become of us? If we do not sincerely repent then we are doomed. We must also have hope in Allah's mercy.

Allah says: O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and you would then seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you.


When a person sins and then sincerely turns to Allah for forgiveness, one will find Allah ready to accept his repentance and to forgive him, as this verse indicates:


And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful. (Surat an-Nisaa 4:110)

Everyone commits sin and does wrong, but Allah is always willing to forgive and He always gives them a chance to repent and seek His forgiveness. A believer should never forget the fact that Allah is so forgiving. If Allah had willed, He could have held everyone accountable for his or her sins, but He has decreed that He shall allow His servants to seek His forgiveness and that He shall in fact forgive who and what He wills. In fact, Allah commands that His servants seek His forgiveness:


And seek Allahs forgiveness. Certainly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (Surat al-Muzzammil 73:20)


Repentance is an act, which purifies the soul and brings the servant closer to Allah. It puts the heart at rest from guilt. It protects one from falling prey to his desires and lusts and increases his faith.


In order to build a close relationship with Allah we should always call upon him in all situations and circumstances whether we are happy or sad and we should ask him for all of our needs aswell as help and guidance in all aspects of our lives.


Allah the most compassionate says in the Holy Quran, "Call on Me. I will answer your prayer, but those who are too arrogant to serve me will surely find themselves humiliated in Hell" (40:60).


Allah the Exalted, has said: "And your Lord says: Pray unto me: and I will hear your prayer" (Quran 40:60),


"Call upon your Lord Humbly and in secret" (Quran 7:55),


"When My servants question thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me" (Quran 2:186),


"Is not He (best) who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and who relieves its suffering." (Quran 27:62)


Dua’s are never wasted


Aisha radhiallaahu anha said, "No believer makes Dua and it is wasted. Either it is granted here in this world or deposited for him in the Hereafter as long as he does not get frustrated."


Allah’s anger at those who don’t make dua


In fact, it is even wrong to never make Dua, "Whosoever does not supplicate to Allah, He will be angry with Him." [Saheeh Jaami`as-Sagheer #2414]


Dua is a weapon for the believers


Rasullullah is reported to have said, “Dua is the weapon of a Muslim”.

Therefore turn to Allah in dua and ask of him whatever you like. Repent to him as much as you can all of the time and at the same time have hope of his forgiveness and mercy.

The more you remember Allah the more your heart will find peace and contentment. If you want to get closer to Allah then remember and glorify him as much as you can. A heart that does not remember Allah is surely a dead heart void of any peace.

Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "The similitude of one who remembers his Rubb and one who does not remember Him, is like that of the living and the dead.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Therefore remember Allah as much as you can and your heart will be cleansed. Turn towards Allah in prayer, dua and rememberance. Recite as much of the Qur'an as possible and if you do not know how to recite the Qur'an then make the effort to ask someone to teach you.

Go to your local Masjid or ask around for their are always people available who teach the Qur'an. Do not let your ego come in the way for people learn the Qur'an at all ages. Reciting the Qur'an will soften your heart. Also get a good tafsir of the Qur'an for i would recommend "The Meanings of the Noble Qur'an: by Sheikh Mufti Taqi Usmani: http://www.amsons.co.uk/the-meanings...uran-2vol.html

This will give you a better understanding of what Allah is telling us in the Qur'an.

Establish a close link to the Masjid and go their for all of your Fard prayers. This way you will meet good people who you can keep as company and this is the best way to keep away from haraam and go towards good. Join Islamic classes and learn about Islam. Knowledge is VERY important and that cannot be stressed enough. It is our duty to learn about our beautiful way of life.

Disregard whatever has happened in the past and do not waste a second more but make the necessery changes to your life. Your eternal enemy satan ONLY wants your destruction so he will try his best to deter you from the straight path so keep strong and be determined to strive and reach your goal. Ask of Allah for him to keep you strong. If you are not married then also take steps in finding a pious partner with whom you can complete half of your deen with.

Take steps in this blessed month and throughout the year to rid your character of any bad habits. Many of us think that “a perfect Muslim” is simply one who is correct in the observance of the salah (ritual Prayer), the fasting, the zakah (payment of a certain portion of one’s wealth to the poor), and the Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah). This indeed is not the case.


If the ritual observances do not help the person to be humble, virtuous and truly God-fearing, then he or she is not a real Muslim. A Muslim should be good and just in dealing with others, no matter their religion, and take special care to keep away from all the shameful and sinful things Allah has forbidden.


One can never get close to Allah by being arrogant, full of pride and having a bad character and manners. Those who have humility and are humble and have good character and manners are the closest to Allah and Allah raises their ranks in the hereafter. The best person is the one who is best towards others.


The superiority of good character:


Hadrat Abu Darda, may Allah be pleased with him, relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Nothing is heavier in the scales of a believer on the Day of Judgement than his good behaviour. Allah detests a person who is obscene and shameless”. (Tirmidhi)

The best friend in the sight of Allah is he who is the well-wisher of his companions, and the best neighbour is one who behaves best towards his neighbours. (Tirmidhi)


Having humility and being humble:


The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He who was humble for the sake of God by one degree, God (SWT) would then elevate them to a degree till they reach the uppermost of high Orders, and he who was arrogant to God (SWT), God (SWT) would then lower him for a degree till he reaches the lowest of low Orders", (Narrated by: Muslim (Hadeeth: 6535).


Al-Nawawi said:


The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “And no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah will raise him (in status).”


Humbleness is to know the value of oneself, to avoid pride, or disregarding the truth and underestimating people. As the Prophet sallallahu`alaihi wa sallam said, according to Muslim and others, "Al-Kibr is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people" [Muslim, Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].


Humbleness is for one who is important and significant and he fears to gain notoriety or to become too great among people. Humbleness is that one should humble himself with his companions.


Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Even if you see a sinful person and you are righteous, do not act in arrogance towards him, and thank Allah that He saved you from the tribulation that He put him through.


Remember that there might be some riyaa' or vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful concerning his bad deeds, and this may be the cause of forgiveness of his sins.


Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. If you do a good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allah ta`ala through an act of obedience, your deed may still not be accepted, "Allah only accepts from those who have taqwa (fear of Allah)." (Surat al-Maida: 27)


Humbleness is that, when you are advised, if Shaytaan calls you to reject the advice, you must negate him. Because the purpose of advice is that your brother points out the defects that you have.


The arrogant never gives credit to anybody or mentions good about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention five defects of that person. But if he hears somebody reminding him about his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his inferiority complex. This is why it is among man's moral integrity to accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or feelings of shame and weakness.


We can summarize the teachings of Islam about the Muslim character in the following list:


Be truthful in everything, don’t lie.
Be sincere and straightforward, don’t be hypocritical.
Be honest, don’t be corrupt.
Be humble, don’t be boastful.
Be moderate, don’t be excessive.
Be reserved, don’t be garrulous.
Be soft-spoken, don’t be loud.
Be refined and gentle in speech, don’t curse and use foul language.
Be loving and solicitous to others, don’t be unmindful of them.
Be considerate and compassionate, don’t be harsh.
Be polite and respectful to people, don’t be insulting or disrespectful.
Be generous and charitable, don’t be selfish and miserly.
Be good natured and forgiving, don’t be bitter and resentful.
Share and be content with what Allah has given you, don’t be greedy.
Be cheerful and pleasant, don’t be irritable and morose.
Be chaste and pure, don’t be lustful.
Be alert and aware of the world around you, don’t be absent-minded.
Be dignified and decent, don’t be graceless.
Be optimistic and hopeful, don’t be cynical or pessimistic.
Be confident and have deep faith, don’t be doubtful and wavering.
Be spiritually oriented and not materialistic.
Be confident of the mercy of Allah, don’t be despairing and lose heart.
Be diligent and vigilant of your duties, don’t be negligent.
Be thankful to Allah and constantly pray to Him, don’t be forgetful of His innumerable blessings.


Finally as the righteous say, "The love of Allah is the axis around which all good revolves." If you fall in love with Allah, and then strive to be true in your love--in accordance with the way of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), then you'll find nothing but increasing light and contentment in your life.


Here are some very beneficial Islamic lectures you should listen to which will help you to increase your imaan (faith) and fear of Allah :


Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]


and Allah knows best in all matters and ONLY he alone gives success.
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