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جوري
08-10-2010, 03:37 AM
Woman Faked Cancer, Bilked Supporters for Thousands of Dollars


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By Justine van der Leun Aug 9th 2010 2:09PM
Categories: Women's Health, News
She shaved her head, plucked her eyebrows, starved herself to look like a cancer patient and tattooed "Won't Quit" on her hands. Then she founded a bogus cancer research charity and collected thousands of dollars in contributions.

Ashley Anne Kirilow, a 23-year-old Canadian, may have continued to scam people had her father not discovered her lies. "When I found out that she was taking people's money and it wasn't going to the University of Alberta as she had specified, it made me sick to my stomach," her father, Mike Kirilow, told "Good Morning America." When his daughter refused to come clean, he and a group of duped volunteers filed a police report.

In 2008, after Kirilow had a benign lump removed from her breast, she began telling people she had breast cancer. Her lies evolved: She said, alternately, that she had brain, liver, stomach and ovarian cancer and that she was dying. Over the course of a year, she called her divorced parents, both of whom she has had little contact with, to ask for money for chemotherapy treatments, which are covered under the Canadian system. Suspicious, her father and stepmother called the hospitals Kirilow said she'd been treated at, but not one had any record of her. Her biological mother, a former school bus driver, told the The Toronto Star, "The only thing she ever wanted from me was money, and I couldn't ever give it to her."

Meanwhile, Kirilow gave her friends two conflicting stories about her parents: In one, they were dead; in the other, they were drug addicts. She was alone and dying of cancer. She had no money.

"Obviously I wanted to do what I could to help her," 22-year-old Adam Catley told The Star.

He found her a free place to live and organized a musical benefit for her in September 2009. Guests paid a $20 cover charge, Catley's father donated the night's profits and his bar for the performance, Labbatt Brewing Company donated beer and staff members handed over their tips. Kirilow walked away with $9,000.

Soon thereafter, Kirilow founded the bogus Change for the Cure, which asked people to donate pocket change toward cancer research at the University of Alberta. At local concerts, Kirilow left jars to collect the change. People in the Toronto music and skateboarding scenes, as well as local businesses, supported her cause. A Toronto charity, believing Kirilow was terminally ill, flew her to Disney World.

The main volunteers for Cancer for Change allege that Kirilow took in more than $20,000. Privately, Kirilow had accumulated more than $30,000 in credit card debt and had declared bankruptcy. No money collected has gone to cancer research.

When Kirilow's story flooded the Canadian media, Kirilow told reporters that she had borderline personality disorder. Her parents say that she saw therapists and psychiatrists but was not diagnosed with a mental illness. Her other stated reason for the hoax? She had an unhappy childhood, marred by her parents' bitter divorce, and she was lonely.

"She may have been lonely, but that's the least of her concerns," Dr. Neil I. Bernstein, author of "Treating the Unmanageable Adolescent: a Guide to Oppositional Defiant and Conduct Disorders," tells AOL Health.

Bernstein, who has never treated Kirilow, suspects that she suffers from a psychiatric illness. For someone with such symptoms, antisocial personality disorder is a likely diagnosis.

A person with antisocial personality disorder repeatedly breaks the law, disregards the safety of others and lies, steals or fights constantly. This person violates social norms and may enjoy taking advantage of the system. They feel neither guilt nor compassion but can be charming and personable.

"Prisons are filled with people like this," says Bernstein, who notes that while Kirilow isn't physically violent, she does seem to have a desperate need for attention. Kirilow often updated her Facebook profile to note that she was on her way to a chemotherapy treatment.

Antisocial personality disorder usually begins in childhood. In fact, Kirilow's father, Mike, told "GMA" that his daughter had been untrustworthy since a young age and that her criminal activity was unsurprising. "She's always manipulated people, manipulated situations to get what she wants," he said.

Kirilow's grandmother told The Star: "You couldn't trust anything she was saying." Her stepmother added that at age 16, Kirilow, who had left her biological mother's home to avoid following rules, "made this house a living hell." According to her stepmother, Kirilow persistently lied and stole from her siblings.

Usually, a confluence of genetics and environment create a person with antisocial personality disorder. "Environment is the way you're raised, and genetics is the deck you're dealt," says Bernstein. "The interaction of the two can create such a person." Kirilow's parents have confirmed to media outlets that they engaged in a messy custody dispute and that they had a dysfunctional relationship.

Watch Kirilow's story on "GMA." Story continues below.


[IMG]http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyODEzNzg*NzgwMDEmcHQ9MTI4MTM3ODQ4MjM3Ni ZwPTEyNTg*MTEmZD1BQkNOZXdzX1NGUF9Mb2NrZV9FbWJlZCZn/PTImbz*xYzM*MDQ1MzljNDY*Mzc*OTk1MTc3ZjRmMzc5M2JlMy ZvZj*w.gif[/IMG]

The treatment for antisocial personality disorder is psychotherapy. However, undergoing psychotherapy won't necessarily guarantee that such a person can change their behavior. "Can a criminal change?" asks Bernstein. "They have a higher recidivism rate than people with other kinds of difficulties. Is it likely? It depends on the treatment."

Another possibility is that Kirilow is suffering from bipolar disorder and, during certain episodes, may feel particularly grandiose.

Kirilow -- with her hair now grown out -- is currently in police custody and facing several counts of fraud. Her parents will not pay her bail.

More on Psychiatric Disorders:
Bipolar Disorder
Antisocial Personality Disorder

source
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*Hana*
08-10-2010, 03:50 AM
Salam Alaikum:

As somone whose entire life seems to be surrounded by cancer victims, this breaks my heart. I lost my father recently to cancer and now watching my best friend fighting for her life while this person scams people using cancer as a means to collect money.

I sincerely hope this won't prevent people from donating or helping true cancer victims in their time of need. I wonder if this individual will ever taste the suffering endured by cancer victims. What will she do if she ever does need the help in the future.

It makes me so angry knowing all the community resources she used while depriving others of necessary help.

So sad....
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Woodrow
08-10-2010, 03:55 AM
Don't really have anything to add.


:sl:


Just an opinion I go along with the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. While the flamboyance of such a scam has a certain element of Bi-polar grandiosity, that occurs in the mania stage. You have to remember the mania phase usually crashes within a few months at most. And then you have a period of extreme depression, often suicidal. I doubt if any bippy could have kept up the mania long enough to have pulled this off for such a long period of time.
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جوري
08-10-2010, 03:56 AM
it is and it reminds me of a hadith which I can't source at the moment..
'la tamarado fa tamrado fa tamoto' - don't fake sickness, that you may get sick and die of that sickness..
many people out there with secondary gain, malingerers that make it very hard for people to be trusting of others.. she truly is a piece of work, but it is nice to know that her own father was conscientious enough to turn her in. I hope she does jail time, I think those who donate should do so through legitimate means, I personally like St. Jude's children hospital for donations, firstly they don't impose on you a particular amount, you pay what you are able, and secondly it all goes to cancer children and no one breaks my heart more than them.. May Allah grant shifa to those needing it..

I am sorry for all the difficulties you are encountering dear sister, but you certainly don't have to shoulder those alone, we are all here for you through your difficulties..

Ramadan Mubarak
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جوري
08-10-2010, 03:58 AM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
Don't really have anything to add.


:sl:


Just an opinion I go along with the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. While the flamboyance of such a scam has a certain element of Bi-polar grandiosity, that occurs in the mania stage. You have to remember the mania phase usually crashes within a few months at most. And then you have a period of extreme depression, often suicidal. I doubt if any bippy could have kept up the mania long enough to have pulled this off for such a long period of time.

she is a calculating scammer and malingerer, she is psychologically ill alright with disregard to the rights of others, like all criminals who deserve jail time, I hope those she scammed are able to retrieve their losses, before they haul her in to jail.. she is sickening!
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Woodrow
08-10-2010, 04:03 AM
Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ



she is a calculating scammer and malingerer, she is psychologically ill alright with disregard to the rights of others, like all criminals who deserve jail time, I hope those she scammed are able to retrieve their losses, before they haul her in to jail.. she is sickening!
Which is an accurate description of: antisocial personality disorder
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*Hana*
08-10-2010, 04:09 AM
I absolutely agree with both of you. This is simply greed through and through. But, they'll spend thousands more trying to diagnose her, while those that need specific medicine or operation can't get it covered by our health care system!! It absolutely infuriates me.

I too hope she gets jail time. She won't win any popularity contests there either. She'll sit in isolation with lots of time to think about what she's done and it won't be any different when she gets out either.

I have so much respect for her father to have the courage to turn her in. I can't imagine how he must have felt.
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*Hana*
08-10-2010, 04:15 AM
Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ

I am sorry for all the difficulties you are encountering dear sister, but you certainly don't have to shoulder those alone, we are all here for you through your difficulties..

Ramadan Mubarak
Jazakallah Khair for your kind words my dear sister.

I couldn't agree more about giving to places like St. Jude and Toronto Sick Kids. They do a lot of work with children, not only in our own countries, but for kids all over the world. I just don't know how they will ever get that money back. It seems she doesn't have any assets and I doubt she will ever be able to pay it back.

Ramadan Mubarak to you as well.
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جوري
08-10-2010, 04:17 AM
she seemed to use him too for personal gain-- it is strange how feeling-less, cold and calculating she is that even her own kin weren't spared, and I agree with you on really needy people not seeking medical attention because there is no money. I have gone through my grad school without insurance, would always treat myself, one time I used an expired antibiotic and ended up in the hospital which cost me a fortune, I tried never to seek medical attention unless I was absolutely knocking on death's door. sob7an Allah and there she is stealing people's money for shopping sprees or whatever.. She deserves her hands cut off, so everyone would know exactly why she has no hands, and would give her something to think about, an actual malady/deformity to satisfy her need to seek sympathy through illness!
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Sawdah
08-10-2010, 04:35 AM
I'm shocked and extremely disgusted at the same time. I can't imagine someone going this far with a lie.

What I don't get is, how do you go to sleep at night knowing that you have played many, many people? SubhanAllah...

I feel bad for everyone who has worked very hard to get her the money, it sad to know that the cancer was a big fat lie.
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جوري
08-10-2010, 04:41 AM
I saw the interview with her dad poor guy was trying to see if he is a bone marrow transplant but she wouldn't return his calls, so he called her and said that he'd call the police to see if she collapsed due to illness, she calls him back and tells him to stay the hell out of her life.. what a crying shame to have a daughter like that.. poor guy must be torn!
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Sawdah
08-10-2010, 04:42 AM
Originally Posted by Hana_Aku
Salam Alaikum:

As somone whose entire life seems to be surrounded by cancer victims, this breaks my heart. I lost my father recently to cancer and now watching my best friend fighting for her life while this person scams people using cancer as a means to collect money.
I'm very sorry for your father, may Allah grant him Jannat al-Firdaws and may Allah make things easy for your friend.

I sincerely hope this won't prevent people from donating or helping true cancer victims in their time of need. I wonder if this individual will ever taste the suffering endured by cancer victims. What will she do if she ever does need the help in the future.

It makes me so angry knowing all the community resources she used while depriving others of necessary help.

So sad....
She definitely has lost the trust of many people. I think people will think twice before help her again (if they even bother helping her that is...).
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*Hana*
08-10-2010, 04:45 AM
Yikes, seeing that interview would have broke my heart. I can't begin to imagine what's going through his mind. Imagine wanting to do whatever you could to save your child's life only to find out they are robbing people blind by gaining their sympathy. Truly disgusting.
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'Abd Al-Maajid
08-10-2010, 05:30 AM
MAY ALLAH GRANT HEAVEN (bypassing jahanam) TO ALL THE MUSLIMS WHO HAVE DIED OF CANCER....I know what it feels like, someone dying of cancer.:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-10-2010, 07:10 AM
:sl:
how did she manage to pull off the "surviving ovarian cancer" without getting noticed? to my knowledge, the life expectancy of women who suffer from this, is from 4-6 weeks of getting the illness.
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nousername
08-10-2010, 07:22 AM
Subhanallah, I really hope she gets "the book thrown at her" in both the judicial system and in the afterlife. She is just scum. I saw my grandmother suffer and eventually killed by cancer, years of suffering and pain that only a cancer patient can know. This makes me so mad!

Kind of OT, but on the news some years ago, I saw I believe a Dateline article about mothers who actually make their KIDS pretend to have cancer, to get money as well. They also love the special "attention" that cancer can bring. They even go so far as to make their kids believe it's real.
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aadil77
08-10-2010, 11:12 AM
only in america do people have such a lack of shame and morals
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Woodrow
08-10-2010, 12:13 PM
Originally Posted by aadil77
only in america do people have such a lack of shame and morals
While Canada is on the North American continent. Canada is a separate country from the USA, it is a British Commonwealth.

But, sadly stuff similar to this occurs in many countries and on nearly every continent. Muchof the fakes now use the internet with chain emails. Nearly everybody has gotten these type emails, the most common one:

HELLO FROM: MRS NOOR AZIDAH
July 20th, 2010


Beloved Friend,

I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart because my Doctor told me that I will die less than three months time. Based on this development I want to will money which my late husband fixed in a bank for the future. I meant to use the money to setup a foundation but my health will not let me do anything again. I am in search of a reliable person who will use the Money to build charity organization for the orphans and cancer research and the person will take 30% of the total sum. While 70% of the money will go to charity organization and helping the orphanage. I grew up as an Orphan here In Brunei and I don’t have anybody/family member to take care of my wealth. People I called my friend betrayed me and squandered what is left of my wealth , so I have no other choice than to do what I am doing now . I will provide you with all the information once you indicate your willingness and I ascertain that you are a good person.

Thank you for your time

Yours sincerely.

Mrs Noor Azidah
Naturally you are asked to "Donate" good faith money when you reply. This one is "Double Barreled" as it plays on both sympathy and greed of the donor.

But, the internet is flooded with emails from "Cancer victims" requesting money. Sadly, it works and people are getting rich scamming sincere compassionate donors. The worse part it is steling donations from those who really do need them.

But,this is not limited to just the Americas.
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aadil77
08-10-2010, 12:31 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
While Canada is on the North American continent. Canada is a separate country from the USA, it is a British Commonwealth.

.
Whoops :hiding:, well I meant that region :D

only over there do you hear of people testing the limits of immorality, then it eventually spreads to the rest of the world
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cat eyes
08-10-2010, 12:39 PM
i watched my mother suffering from cancer too and i'm just disgusted. how any one could do this is pure evil.

well i just can not believe this woman is mentally ill. this is a defense which lawyers come up with to escape a long prison sentence or to escape any type of sentence at all.

ive read about this border line personality thing and none of the symtoms were ''doing fraud'' patients with this illness can't even function sometimes because there so messed up

i think it was just greed. hungry for money
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Woodrow
08-10-2010, 12:48 PM
Originally Posted by aadil77
Whoops :hiding:, well I meant that region :D

only over there do you hear of people testing the limits of immorality, then it eventually spreads to the rest of the world
Has to spread, them scum have already bilked the USA out of every available penny. Now they have to go after other nations.

Sadly variations of this are and have been very common in India, where it is still common practice to disable children so they can collect more as beggers.

Child beggars
Mutilated child beggars in India

In India thousands of children are being mutilated annually. The joints of their bones get injected with bleach. Infection is the result and amputation follows. Eyes are stuck out as well.

Afterwards, the children are sent out on the streets where they have to beg for money, 15 hours a day or more. The proceeds of the begging goes to the torturers, which are organised gangs specialised in mutilation and exploitation of defenceless children.

Visibly deformed children invoke pity and sympathy, and thus these children are lucrative beggars. Especially western tourists appear to be sensitive; they give money generously. Therefore, tourism is one of the most important causes for the growth of this horrible practice.

Fear and subjugation

The child beggars are kidnapped as a baby or a kid. Often they are bought from very poor parents by false promising. Hereafter the new ‘owners’, mostly the gang leaders, mutilate the children with possible help from corrupt physicians.
SOURCE
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Rhubarb Tart
08-10-2010, 01:01 PM
My sorry to say this is nothing new. My friend in high school done the same thing shaved her hair and all. All of us believed her and my family donated money to her. She was kicked out of high school after everyone found out and her parents never knew until after. She didn't go far as the woman in the article but she would have I think if people did not found out. imsad
Anyways I actually think these types of people are really sick. I still have contact with this person but not close friends anymore. This person was sick and I didn’t completely turn my back towards her. I couldn’t and neither did my other friends. I don’t however think they are evil just mental. :hiding:
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Woodrow
08-10-2010, 01:12 PM
Originally Posted by sweet106
My sorry to say this is nothing new. My friend in high school done the same thing shaved her hair and all. All of us believed her and my family donated money to her. She was kicked out of high school after everyone found out and her parents never knew until after. She didn't go far as the woman in the article but she would have I think if people did not found out. imsad
Anyways I actually think these types of people are really sick. I still have contact with this person but not close friends anymore. This person was sick and I didn’t completely turn my back towards her. I couldn’t and neither did my other friends. I don’t however think they are evil just mental. :hiding:
It is true there are mental disorders that can cause this type of behavior, for a short period of time. The most insane have lucid moments and will show shame and remorse for their activities done while they where manic.

But, when it is ongoing for years. You are looking at a personality disorder and not an illness. To get a full blown antisocial psychopath, the person has to take an active part on their own to develop it.

I have no sympathy for psychopaths when it is a behavior disorder and not an illness.
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