format_quote Originally Posted by
Muslimpreacher
salam,
recently i have had an argument with a friend about when ramadan was going to start, i gave him evidence that it had been announced but he kept arguing, afterwards i found that he then began fasting on the day i said was going to be ramadan and acted like he was going to do that anyway and that he was in the right. after which i stopped speaking to him for a little while. i was then recieving some quite horrible texts from him. i spoke to another friend explaning to him why i didnt want to speak to him and i told him that a situation happens quite a lot with him. he is saying a lot of bad things to me via text. i need some advice on what to do. i want to forgive him as that would be good but he is making things really difficult. i would really appreciate any advice.
Jazakallah khyran
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my brother what we have to realise is that we cannot force our views and opinions upon anyone. We can't change someone's thinking by the approach that you took on your friend. We should put our views across in a beautiful manner using wisdom and tact and then leave it at that but we must never force our views upon someone implying that they arre wrong and we are right. In that way a person's defence barriers will come up. You and your friend have known each other for a long time hence why he reacted in such a way to your approach. Therefore you should desist having this approach in future and if you are in disagreement with any matter then put your point across in a beautiful manner using wisdom and tact and then just leave it at that.
You should also not ever let a discussion heat up into an argument. If you feel it getting into an argument then leave the discussion where it is and change the subject. You should also never use abusive words and if he does so then you should have a word with him at a personal level telling him that his words are very hurtful and that he should not get abusive towards you especially in this blessed month of Ramadan whereby he is risking the acceptance of his fast with such behaviour.
Meet with him and sort things out in a gentle manner and make the best of this Ramadan. Work on yourself to improve the way you come across and try to improve on your character as we should all be working on our characters in this most blesed month. Watch this short clip as it is brilliant in summing up how we should approach others when putting our views across or giving dawah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR9inax7jFo
And Allah knows best in all matters