View Full Version : Love in Islam

Felix Sable
08-26-2010, 02:04 PM
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I will take time to write about and hopefully discuss with you love in Islam.
How Muslims are mixing up between "Religion" and "culture and traditions",

I was raised in a Muslim family, in an all Cristian society.
For years in my youth, I'd hear my mother talk to my sister ocasionally
about how a Muslim girl should behave, how she should dress, who she should talk to,
To be cool to my sister, I'd always butt in and say things like "Who would care?"
or "nobody's gonna be looking mother",although I had nothing against my mother's advice,
she just wants the best for her daughter...right?
As I got older. these conversations got a bit more serious.
One day, I heard her talking about how Muslim females should limit her contact with the
boys. I was slightly confused but...nonetheless, In complete agreement due to my young age.
Although in correspondence with my mother , I often asked myself why,
What was the problem with a girl and a boy hanging out?
When I reached puberty,I had already moved to Libya,and had had my first crush, and after getting into a hush-hush relationship, I asked my mother "how long were you and dad dating?"
her answer shocked me, apparently, having a girlfriend was condemned by Islam as
the sin of zinnah! (no, it isn't, that word means pre-marital copulation, my mother just didn't have a better way of explaining it to me)
I wanted to be a good Muslim, I really did, I didn't know what being emotionally attached to a person meant, but it was the thing keeping me from being one.
I'd hear the gruesome tales of Muslim fathers hurting their daughters, Muslim brothers beating the sisters that they have grown up with, the sisters that kept all of their despicable secrets from their parents,
why? because they found them on the phone with a guy, their excuse for their unhumane deeds?
"Islam forbids premarital love"
It sickened me...I literally almost threw up, how could you hurt a person, one you've known
for so long, just for being human?! Where is your logic?! Why listen to this crap...?
What kind of twisted faith would provoke such actions? and what kind of a Deity would allow such a horrid thing?
I saw girls being harrassed, nasty words thrown at some, for mere things like wearing tight jeans, it was funny in a way.
Ones at school, referred to as "the schools bi***es" for the absence of a Hejab on their heads,
my girlfriend herself, was referred to as some kind of *****, simply because she wasn't typical, and treated males and females alike.
I saw women being abused, I saw their depressing lifecycles one after another, you could have easily mistaken me for a feminist,
but was only interested in humanity.
Oh how I dreamed of a better society,
All I wanted was everything to be logical as it once was.
The boys at school, every-so-often, I'd find one particular lad sending love letters to a girl via cell-phone, for a moment, I softly smiled at the simplicity, then I asked him
"attracted?" he answered "beyond", so I asked "what if you found your sister doing the same?"
he replied "haha, I'd kill her and the boy she was talking to",
at this point, I remember my jaw descending, my mouth may have let in a human fist,
I asked "why?!", again he laughed, and answered "don't be foolish, you know Islam forbids it"
The Muslim society, in my eyes back then, a subtle mixture of hypocrisy and chaos.
I never really understood Islam,
for a year or two...I only thought of the Muslim system as a hierarchy, one so blasphemous to humanity,
where men were free to "sin" (I'm embarressed to call love a sin but, we'll go with that for now) and women were simply not. Disallowed from a given right.
Males ruled and females were ruled.
I simply couldn't comprehend the "Muslims", nor could I write a sentence to describe the way it was here.
I saw the way they acted...how they behaved around women, some of them behaved like savages, others...just inappropriately,
my friends and I were often teased for our behaviour, which we saw appropriate, often accused of
simply "not being men", why didn't we behave their way?
Because we had been raised as natives to other societies.
School was never a walk in the park, we'd recieve racist, Anglophobic comments,
I was also described as hypocritic, unpatriotic, and posessing a twisted mind,
my friends' lives were no easier, I soon learned to ignore, and unfortuanetly think of it as
"typical muslims".
Every night I would question Islam.
When you find 1 fault in a faith, it wont take long before you find 10.
I questioned everything.
I admit, circumstance and a hint of testosterone was probably a key factor in destroying every last spec of faith I had,
after my lover had been pulled away from me by her closed-minded parents, my over-active mind could never stop imagining what her father might have done, he was a Muslim after all, anything was possible.
The disapponitment, the frustration,the anger, the shear anxiety, they simply lost me any belief I had left in Islam,
I remembered a passage I had been taught as a child, "دين يسر وليس دين عسر", "deen yuser, wa laisa deen oser" which baisicly means
that Islam was supposed to make things easy for the followers.
Because of the sub-zero logic, and psychological pressure it put, it was certainly doing a poor job.
I was obsessed and infatuated with that same question that circulated in my mental system every night, "How could a faith so faulty have so many followers?"
One night I remembered the story of how before Islam they used to bury newborn females alive,
how Islam was supposed to grant women a life equal to that of a man, then it hit me,
How didn't I consider this before? What if these people were the problem? what if Islam wasn't as bad as I had thought, and it was the followers who were corrupt?
I read the Qur'an with the assistance of a translator, due to my faulty Arabic.
Every page I read pleaded "not guilty" to my accusations and allegations.
In its scripts, I stumbled upon teachings of compassion, generousity and charitability.
To my surprize, I found no cry for terrorism, no hierarchy, no sexism, no discrimination.
I understood then, and after a period of execrating every Muslim man,
after purely hating the teachings and deeming then pointless, that I had completely misunderstood.
These people were all victims of society.
Society here was a ticking time-bomb that selfdestructed.
It gave birth to those street kids, with nothing to keep them occupied other than
looking at, and, tragically, looking up girls
My beloved companions and I were all raised in a beautiful society of freedom...opertunity and equality, be it Irish, English, American, Itallian, it was all attractive.
Why weren't we uncontrolable beasts around females?
because we were used to them. we were raised among them, which created the anima inside of us, an aspect in each one of us that they found easy to target.
Society, the hideous fabric, it's racism, it's sexism, it's selfish hierarchy
it was a machine running on tainted fuel...corruption and selfishness.
It takes 1 bad apple to ruin the pie. these bad apples manipulated two transparent materials, culture and tradition, and then tell you that if you're a Muslim, you must fight the west,
that you should hate Jews, that love,music, art, and sculpting are "forbidden".

So I ask...do you Muslims really heed to men of tradition?
to people whose words contredict with those of their own god?
My mind was finally at rest .
I finally behaved without feeling hermaphroditic.
I finally formed a powerful relationship with that same girl without feeling like a heretic.
What made me smile again was that the racists...Islam didn't tell them to discriminate,
I learned that they just had some bad past experience with certain people, namely our kind.
The sexists, Islam didn't strip women of rights, they did that because of their own weakness and insecurity.
The anti-semites, Islam didn't fly the NAZI flag, their corrupted traditions did.
And last, but not least:
The abusive fathers , they weren't monsters to me anymore, they were just naive,
because if you think about it,
Islam never prevented their sons or daughters from love, they were just taught the wrong way.

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05-24-2012, 06:40 PM
Bump and thanks. Good post.


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