As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):
Ukhti (أختي my sister) Xcoolamandax:
We perform du'a that Allah provides relief in your dilemma. We usually run away from these advise threads because of the gossip factor, soap opera, etc.
There are two sides to a story and we will refrain from demonizing your spouse or the side not heard.
Allahu Alim!
Now the Quran and Sunnah provides clear guidance on your situation. The practicing Muslims first duty is to provide guidance and not their opinions which usually engulfs and overwelms the advice threads.
Surah Nur 24:11-13
11. Verily! Those who brought forth the slander (against 'Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) the wife of the Prophet
) are a group among you. Consider it not a bad thing for you. Nay, it is good for you. Unto every man among them will be paid that which he had earned of the sin, and as for him among them who had the greater share therein, his will be a great torment.
12. Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it (the slander) think good of their own people and say: "This (charge) is an obvious lie?"
13. Why did they not produce four witnesses? Since they (the slanderers) have not produced witnesses! Then with Allah they are the liars. (Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
God demands from His true believers before accusing anyone of sexual misconduct or spreading rumors about anyone to have a proof, or to produce four witnesses. Accusations of sexual misconduct that is carried out against anybody who denies them and without verifiable proofs, are considered by God a gross sin. The failure to produce four witnesses means this person or these persons should be considered according to God, LIARS.
Surah Nur 24:15
15. When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great.
(Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
Punishment for those who accuse a chaste women:
Surah Nur 24: 4
4. And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).
(Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
Surah Nur 24:23-24
23. Verily, those who accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching their chastity and are good believers, are cursed in this life and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great torment,
24. On the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their legs or feet will bear witness against them as to what they used to do. (Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
The direction of Allah regarding accusations between Husband and Wife:
Surah Nur 24:6-10
6. And for those who accuse their wives, but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies (i.e. testifies four times) by Allah that he is one of those who speak the truth.
7. And the fifth (testimony) (should be) the invoking of the Curse of Allah on him if he be of those who tell a lie (against her).
8. But it shall avert the punishment (of stoning to death) from her, if she bears witness four times by Allah, that he (her husband) is telling a lie.
9. And the fifth (testimony) should be that the Wrath of Allah be upon her if he (her husband) speaks the truth.
10. And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you (He would have hastened the punishment upon you)! And that Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, the All-Wise.
(Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)
Reread the guidance if you didn't understand it. Very clear.
The practicing Muslims provide the guidance from Allah and Nabi Muhammad (
) Subhanallah!
Islam is complete and doesn't require our opinions when clear guidance is provided.
What is the reason for the contineous questioning back and forth? The guidance is clear and if used why the continued inquiry? Put the egos away and use what practicing Muslims use the guidance of Allah and Nabi Muhammad (
).
Why would a practicing Muslim take the guidance of man verses Allah. Amazing!
Allah knows our intentions.
This was submitted with the best intentions and the best construction should be used when reading it.