my past

[anonymous]

salam
i am in a really difficult situation and i really dont know what to do

i used to be a very jahil person and i got up to all sorts of evil things, about a year ago i started practising and alhamdulillah i have made many changes in my life that now the mosque has become my house! i have started hifz and other islamic studies
now, a family member who knew about my past is threatening to expose my past sins,
she has gotten herself into alot of trouble (shes pregnant out of wedlock) and to lessen the attention on her she is starting to tell my family of the things which i used to do

I really hate it, it took me such a long time to get a good relationship with my family and this shaytan comes along and is poisoning our relationship. i have never done anything to her to be like this, we barely talk, i honestly think its because she has done so much and she wants the attention to go on me, so everyone will be even more shocked like because i have started practising and they never expect it from me.
i am now stuck, i dont know what to do, when my family ask me about it i cant lie and i cant even hide it because she has already told them.
now my parents dont trust me, they think they dont know me, i am barely allowed to go out, they want to take my laptop and phone away from me.

i really need advice on what to do and some words to boost my iman

:'(

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam Alaykum

Alhamdulillah that u came to the right path. Ask Allah to help u . Just tell ur parents u made some mistakes ( u don't have to tell them in details ) in the past and u repented already.

True repentance makes a person like as if s/he never did that sin . So , tell ur parents to forgive u . Also ask that family member to repent .

May Allah makes the hard situation easy for u.

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:

Be patient sister. May Allah make things easy for you and give you the strength to cope, ameen.

Make dua for protection always and don't forget to recite the last three surahs of the Quran thrice morning and night. InshaAllah it will protect you from the evil of the jealous people.

[anonymous]

The person who done this: i want to keep myself away from her but am i breaking ties for doing this? as she is part of my family? when i move out, i dont intend on calling her or being around her or making up with her or anything.

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[Muslim Woman]

Salaam

The person who done this: i want to keep myself away from her but am i breaking ties for doing this? as she is part of my family? when i move out, i dont intend on calling her or being around her or making up with her or anything.

she is trying to do harm ; she is backbiting and exposing ur sin that u commited long ago. In that case , if u avoid her , it's not the same as breaking blood relationship. If u meet her in any family gathering or elsewhere , just say Salam . U don't have to talk to her daily.

And Allah Knows Best.

[Abdul Wahid]

:wa:

Sister its unfortunate that this sister is causing trouble for you. Your sins in the past are in the past now. That was between you and ALLAH(SWT).

Alhumdullillah you have changed and realised that you are now on the right path. The day that you realised that your past was full of sins and I'm sure you repented sincerely - then the Prophet(SAW) said such a person is purified of the sin and becomes like one who never did that sin in the sight of ALLAH(SWT).

With regards to your cousin then its a shame if she is trying to mess up your relationship with your parents. Your parents will be in shock after hearing everything of your past. So its somewhat understandable that they have to gain your trust again. So don't rebel against them. As you said your practicing now so be kind to your parents, listen to them, do things for them etc and InshaALLAH your parents will realised that you have truly changed and they will get that trust back.

Lastly sister its not going to be easy so you will need lots of patience. More importantly do dua that ALLAH(SWT) makes it easy for you and that your parents will begin to trust you again. Also that ALLAH(SWT) protects you from the evil of jealous people. The Prophet(SAW) used to teach Surah al-Falaq (Surah 113) to protect from jealousy. It is good to recite this Surah and the following Surah al-Nas (Surah 114) before you go to sleep.

There is another beautiful dua that the Prophet(SAW) used to teach for this purpose: "A`udho bi-kalimatillah al-tammah, min sharri kulli shaitanin wa hammah wa min kulli `ainin lammah." or “I seek the protection by the most perfect words of Allah, from the evil of every devil or creature and from every evil look.”

Also there is no doubt you will see your cousin now and then so just give salam and that's it. You don't need to chat with her. Try to keep in the company of the pious scholars/friends and stay away from bad company no matter if it means breaking friends, as bad company destroys a person's inner state without that person even realisng it.

May ALLAH(SWT) keep you strong in the Deen and help you to increase in knowledge. Ameen.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
MashaAllah at practicing, may allah keep you steadfast.

at your problem, Let her do what she wants and let her say what she wants. She is only digging a hole for herself. Trust me, if you want revenge on these types of people, the best thing to do is sit back and do nothing about it.

Dont be fooled that you have your-self pride to look out for and dont let people use your emotions to incite you into a reaction. What they do is their business, how you react to it, is a completely different story.
Ignore what these people do, dont react to it because in affect what these people are doing are setting their own selves up to get humiliated. Do you know how? Because they will keep on talking and talking and eventually people will get sick of them and realize they are the one’s at fault, not you.

People aren’t stupid, sure they like gossip but they can still figure out who is right and who’s wrong. Furthermore, they will hate and distrust that person who spreads gossip (even though they may like listening to the gossip) because they know that if that person is spreading news about others, then who to say that they aren’t spreading news about them as well. Tell me, how many people who gossip have good genuine friends? How many people can trust them? All their friends are people like them who thrive on what people say about others. Birds of a feather flock together.

People are dumb and will do anything to shift the attention away from their own selves. Its an old age tactic. Literally, people have been doing this for centuries. Its called a guilty conscious needs no accuser and it is nothing new.

You can 1) be smart by not getting angry but at the same time still say things in your own defense that will. (Sometimes you will feel that need of sweet revenge) for example “i am what i am but oh well, at least my not expecting out of wedlock. :D”

Never get emotional never get angry about it. Trust me, these people thrive on it.

2) ignore it and do as above (i.e don't do anything).
3) Perhaps even abit of reverse psychology will work. Pretend you don’t care what she says and even dare her to go and tell. This may take a bit of delicacy though so you may need to be careful about the way you go about it as to not to make your secrets "slip" in the case where they actually do tell.

I must advise you also that any type of “revenge” you take, you must be careful because at the end of the day that is your relative and may risk making your relationship with them even more bitter which could lead to cutting of blood ties. Its hard, especially when you know that you have done nothing wrong, but sometimes its best to remain silent =)

Another thing, don’t worry about what people say and believe. The way i look at it, is that no-one knows yourself better then you...so why should there opinions care when they know nothing about you? Who cares? Ypu’ll probably find that you get really hurt by peoples comments, but try to keep soldiering on.

[Snowflake]

Assalamu alaykum,

Be patient my dear sister. The accusations against you must have come as a big shock for your family. They must be afraid history might repeat itself, hence wanting to take away anything that they feel is a risk. That is understandable. But if you stay steadfast upon the deen, they will realize that their fears aren't valid and inshaAllah Allah will clear their hearts for you. As for the other sister, may Allah guide her. She has done a terrible thing to you and your family. But more than that she has done a terrible thing to herself. Her punishment will be severe if she doesn't repent and ask for your forgiveness. Stay strong with beautiful patience my dear sister.

Make the duaas brother Abdul Wahid inshaAllah.

You can save this one to protect yourself from malicious people in the future inshaAllah.

What to say if you fear people may harm you

Allaahummak-fineehim bimaa shi'ta.

O Allah, suffice (i.e. protect) me against them however You wish.

Reference: Muslim 4/2300.



:wa:

[Woodrow]

:sl:

As strange as it seems this disclosure of your past sins by another will eventually be a great blessing to you. Once the family gets ovewr the shock. Live as much of a pious life as possible and be a visible example of your repentence. Before long the shock will turn into admiration of your change. Your peity is all the more sincere, because you have truly given up a life that you enjoyed. While it is admirable for a person to have lived an entire life of piety, it takes much more for a person to give up the pleasure and fitnah of the secular life they have experienced. This is a piety that can only come from sincere repentence.

Put your past sins behind you, Do not concern yourself if those who know about them expose them. Remember this exposure is only effective as a weapon against you once. After they are exposed, nobody can ever use the threat of exposure again. Over time this exposure will prove to be a release from a threat that would always hang over you and cause you much grief years in the future.

Please make Du'a for all of us. A repentant sinner is truly a pious person.

[Hamza Asadullah]

salam
i am in a really difficult situation and i really dont know what to do

i used to be a very jahil person and i got up to all sorts of evil things, about a year ago i started practising and alhamdulillah i have made many changes in my life that now the mosque has become my house! i have started hifz and other islamic studies
now, a family member who knew about my past is threatening to expose my past sins,
she has gotten herself into alot of trouble (shes pregnant out of wedlock) and to lessen the attention on her she is starting to tell my family of the things which i used to do

I really hate it, it took me such a long time to get a good relationship with my family and this shaytan comes along and is poisoning our relationship. i have never done anything to her to be like this, we barely talk, i honestly think its because she has done so much and she wants the attention to go on me, so everyone will be even more shocked like because i have started practising and they never expect it from me.
i am now stuck, i dont know what to do, when my family ask me about it i cant lie and i cant even hide it because she has already told them.
now my parents dont trust me, they think they dont know me, i am barely allowed to go out, they want to take my laptop and phone away from me.

i really need advice on what to do and some words to boost my iman
:'(

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Have you tried speaking with her openly about this and why is she doing this to you? Try to open up to her and explain to her that what she is doing is evil and for her to reveal your past is really causing you a great deal of pain. Ask her why is she showing so much enmity and hate towards you and that you would never do such a thing to her.

Tell your parents that you have done mistakes like every other human being has done but that you are a different person now and not the same person as in the past and that you have learnt from your mistakes. Obviously they will be hurt because they never imagined their daughter to do such things so it will take time for them to get over the shock and accept what has happened. Be patient and give them time as time is the best healer. It will also take time for them to start to trust you again but when they have seen changes in you compared to how you were in the past then inshallah they will trust you fully again.

Do not attack her or argue with her just show her how much what she is doing is hurting you. Also tell her that she should fear Allah because the person who reveals anothers sin or tries to disgrace another in this world then Allah will reveal their sins on the day of judgement and disgrace them in front of everyone on that terribley harsh day and he may even do so in this world. So she should fear his wrath.

My sister do not let any of this deter you from the worship of Allah for Allah has given you the ability to change from what you were before and he has given you guidance and he does not guide all so thank him and worship him as much as you can. Strive to be the closest to him and make him the happiest. Make dua to him and ask of him to help you in every aspect of your life and especially with this situation. Pray for Allah to help you with this situation for him to heal the hearts of your parents so that they trust you again. Be patient for Allah is with those who are patient and the reward of patience is Paradise!

Pease watch this amazing short clip to give yourself a real imaan boost:

"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


And Allah knows best in all matters

[Ansariyah]

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say:

Allah the Almighty has said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.”

[Ansariyah]

Abdullah Ibn Umar (RA) related, “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) once rose above the podium and then said with a loud voice, “O those who have embraced Islam only with their tongue, while Eemaan has not yet entered their hears, neither harm Muslims, nor mock them, nor try to expose their mistakes, for he who follows (searches for) the errors of his brother, Allah will follow his errors, and he whom Allah follows his errors, He will expose him even if he was in the middle of his home.

[sabr*]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 90:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others' faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah's worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!")

Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 43, Number 622:

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Umar:

Allah's Apostle said, "A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection . "

Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 46:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet used to say, "O Muslim ladies! A neighbouress should not look down upon the present of her neighbouress even it were the hooves of a sheep."