format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
First off I just want to say alot of things have happened to me over this past year that have changed me to be a better muslim
Ill start from the beginning. 2 years ago during high school, (year 11) I was surrounded with good freinds, and Alhamdulillah they had a positive influance on me, most of them now do alima courses. As a result of all this influance I started wearing hijab, and jilbab, both in a short space of time. I really wanted to start an alima course last year to better myself, .....
but as im doing a-level my parents thought id find it too hard, and my mum was aginst the idea, because she wants me to do well in my academic studies. She does hav my best interest at heart, but I can't explain to her why I want/need to do it. Also I dont have any bro/sis I can talk to at home, I feel alone and really lonely at times, and this has had a negative effect on me. I know I cant change nt having a bro or sis I can talk to and even mess about with. I kno that but it still upsets me, when its quiet in the house, and I need to talk to someone. I do have a lil bro and a sis with down sydome, but I cant talk to them. I don't kno how Id be without them. Before I used to go out with my freinds and id be around people, but now I hardly go out as much (As i dont have the same circle of freinds) and the freinds I do have I feel i can't really open up to. :cry::cry:
Things have just been piling over this past year...during the beginning of ramadan I started getting doubts about why we're here, I started questioning 'why can't jesus be the son of God?'..(astagfirullah)...I really didn't want to think these thoughts...but they kept coming in my mind.....and I got SO scared because this was in ramadan when shaytaan was locked away(so it couldn't have been wiswasas could it??).....I was literally convincing myself to stop thinking like that, i kept going over in my mind why it wasn't possible, I actually had a moment where I felt like disbeliver.....These thoughts have gone now...I don't want to think like this but they just come in my head...
This is anther reason why I want to do an alima course, to get a better understanding of Islam and strenghten my imaan, so this dosen't happen again..and on top I will be be surounded with good freinds...I actually feel like im going crazy/insane sometimes...and i just needed to let all that out...Please any advice on how I should go about being positive. I know SO many people out there have much worser problems than what im going thru, but all this is slowly eating away at me, and I feel confused about what to do, and who to tell. I feel depressed, and sometimes I can't stop crying imsadimsad
Sorry about the long post.
:wa:
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister Allah gave you guidance so that you may enter into the deen and practice it and you should thank him abundantely for that. It is also very commendable that you have a zeal for wanting to learn Islamic knowledge as knowledge is SO important and the best of the people are those with knowledge but we must realise that having knowledge also brings about its dangers and the dangers are that if we do not act upon the knowledge we have then we will be accountable for it because we know when others did'nt and knowledge which is not acted upon is of no use. So it is better to learn little at a time and act upon everything we learn.
Take things a step at a time sister. Know that your parents just want the best for you so serve them as much as you can for serving ones parents is better than jihad itself. Be the best towards your parents and treat them the best for your reward is with Allah.
Do the best you can in your academic studies and at the same time involve yourself in local Islamic courses and sisters circles as well surrounding yourself with learned and pious sisters. Also get advice from learned sisters on which Islamic books to read and at the same time get a good tafseer of the Qur'an and learn what Allah is telling us in the Qur'an.
If you wanted to pursue the Aalima course then you may do that at a later stage and nowadays they even run part time flexible courses which fit around ones busy schedule. So after studies you may be able to pursue that but if not then you can always continue learning from courses, lectures and sisters circles halaqas etc.
Ask of Allah to help you to gain knowledge and to act upon it and to benefit others from it. Allah makes it easy for those who want to acquire knowledge of deen and the angels spread their wings for them.
Surely shaythan is trying to confuse you by whispering deception in your ears but no matter what you say with your tongue but if you don't believe it with your heart then there is no sin upon you. Only if there is acceptance from your heart will you committ shirk. So do not worry and if you ever get such evil whispers then just seek refuge in Allah from the evil of shaythan by saying: A'udubillahi minashaythanirajeem and La Hawla Wala Quwatha Illah billah.
Do not let your sworn enemy shaythan make you feel lonely and deter you from getting close to Allah. He can only whisper but you have the power to disregard and reject his evil. therefore ask of Allah to make you strong against the whispers of shaythan and your desires.
Also my sister know that it is a blessing that you have siblings who are angels at home for those with conditions like downs syndrome are like angels for they will not be accountable for their actions in this world. So be the best towards them and play with them for the pleasure of Allah.
Also my sister establish a close connection and bond with Allah through worship and dua. Allah is wanting you to go close to him so strive and get as close to Allah as you can through fulfilling ALL of your daily fard Salaah as well as the extra Sunnah and Nawafil for the more prostrations you do the closer to Allah you will become. Click on this link for Nawafil we can pray everyday:
VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-Pray-Everyday!
Remember Allah as much as you can for the one who remembers Allah then Allah remembers them and there is NOTHING in this world that will give you peace, blessings, contentment and happiness in your heart than in the remembrance of Allah so glorify him as much as you can and remember him night and day no matter what you are doing. Keep your tongue moist with the glorification of Allah in every aspect of your life and if you have Allah in your heart then how will you EVER feel lonely again?
Click on this link for Easy but very rewarding Dhikrullah we can do everyday:
Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-on-the-scales!
So my sister know that Allah is closer to you than your jugular vein. He is there for you when no one else is. He knows you MUCH better than you know yourself. He will NEVER let you down when you need him but people will. Allah is wanting you close to him so strive to please him and be as close to him as possible. With Allah you will find happiness you have never imagined as if you have Jannah in your heart!
Ask of Allah to give you a good understanding of Islam and to give you wisdom and knowledge that you can act upon and benefit others with. Ask of him ALWAYS no matter how little it is and share ALL your feelings with him whenever you are feeling down, lonely and especially when you are happy for those who remember him when they are happy then Allah will remember them when they are sad. Thank Allah abundantley and Allah will give more to those who are appreciative.
Repent to Allah as much as you can and cry to him in dua for Allah listens to those who cry moore attentively just like a mother attends to its baby when it is crying. Make habit of praying Tahajjud Salaah at night for those who are wanting to gain closeness to Allah and the top ranks of Paradise should pray Tahajjud in the last third of the night and this is the time when prayers are readily accepted.
Therefore my sister remember put your FULL trust, faith, reliance and hopes in Allah and he will ALWAYS be there for you and you will NEVER feel lonely again!
Please remember me in your dua's.
Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:
Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ
Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0
HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc
Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE
Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo
How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]
AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc
Here are some very beneficial articles for you to help you on your journey to Jannah and to make best use of every second of your life in this world:
10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...our-Iman(Faith)
30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...of-their-lives!
Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-on-the-scales!
My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...worship)-check!
10 steps to getting closer to Allah
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...loser-to-Allah
Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...to-do-Everyday!
Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...s-the-solution!
VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-Pray-Everyday!
and Allah knows best in all matters