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Aishath
09-22-2010, 10:00 AM
I recently met a man while I had been drinking alcohol and out at a night club as well. I committed many sins with him. However, I have since then repented to Allah and also told this man that I no longer want to continue committing these sins. I have also given up drinking and going to night clubs. He is not a muslim right now but if he were to become a muslim and fully learn about our religion, will it be okay for me to get married to him even though I met him initially while drinking alcohol? or is the marriage not going to be halal since we met while i was committing a major sin?
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Ummu Sufyaan
09-22-2010, 10:22 AM
:sl:
im not sure about your exact question, but mashaAllah on repenting...may Allah keep you steadfast.

i hope i don't look like too much of a dork for jumping the gun , (but better to be safe then sorry,) do not approach him unless he becomes a Muslim...if he is interested in Islam, direct him to a masjid/knowledgeable brothers but don't take this on yourself for the obvious reasons.

sorry if i said anything out of line :hiding:
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 10:36 AM
Thank you for your reply. I completely agree with what you have said.

But my question is that if he then becomes a muslim, I can get married to him right? I am worried that I am somehow not going to be allowed to get married to him because I met him while I was committing a sin and drinking alcohol. I hope that is a bit clearer? When we met he was not a muslim but I was and yet I still had alcohol. I have repented for it and greatly regret it but I am now scared that we can no longer get married even after he becomes a muslim because of how we met (while drinking alcohol).
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Ummu Sufyaan
09-22-2010, 10:38 AM
^i got your question, i just didn't know what the ruling is :P

all the best =)
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 10:40 AM
Oh okay. sorry i didn't realise that. Thank you for your answer anyway :)

Can anyone else please help me on this matter ?? :(
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Alpha Dude
09-22-2010, 11:20 AM
It doesn't matter. You would still be able to marry him.

He HAS to be muslim though.
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 11:25 AM
Alhamdulillah. Thank you for your answer brother. Yes I know that he has to become a muslim and I have told him so as well and that until he does become a msulim, we can not be together either.

Thank you so much for your answer. I have been worried sick about this.
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Ramadhan
09-22-2010, 12:08 PM
I have read this in Islamqa before, and the ruling is your marriage will be halal, because: 1. you have repented, and 2. he has to revert to Islam,
because then you and the man's sins will have been erased Insha Allah, so the marriage will start from clean slate.
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Woodrow
09-22-2010, 12:10 PM
Originally Posted by Aileen
Alhamdulillah. Thank you for your answer brother. Yes I know that he has to become a muslim and I have told him so as well and that until he does become a msulim, we can not be together either.

Thank you so much for your answer. I have been worried sick about this.
:sl:

You can not be alone with him until after marriage even if he becomes a Muslim. Inshallah, he will find Islam and become a pious Muslim. My Du'a is that when he reverts it is for the right reason and not out of desire to marry you or anybody else.
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 12:19 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
:sl:

You can not be alone with him until after marriage even if he becomes a Muslim. Inshallah, he will find Islam and become a pious Muslim. My Du'a is that when he reverts it is for the right reason and not out of desire to marry you or anybody else.


I hope so too. That's why I want to be careful in this matter. But at least knowing that the marriage will be valid if he does truly revert to Islam is a big help
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Cabdullahi
09-22-2010, 12:22 PM
Originally Posted by Aileen
I hope so too. That's why I want to be careful in this matter. But at least knowing that the marriage will be valid if he does truly revert to Islam is a big help
You gotta be careful what if he was a guy who tried to take advantage of you because he saw that you were drunk?
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 12:31 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
You gotta be careful what if he was a guy who tried to take advantage of you because he saw that you were drunk?

I know. But this all happened awhile back and since then I have deeply regretted my actions. I am hoping that if he does become a Muslim and starts practising the faith it will show that he is not a bad person really.

Is there anything else that needs to be done in order for the marriage to be valid? I am stil a bit scared about the validity of our marriage given how we met but the previous posts have made me feel better about it. Is there a Hadith or anything in this matter?
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Salahudeen
09-22-2010, 01:06 PM
Your marriage will be valid as long as you repent sincerely and he sincerely becomes Muslim.



They committed zina then they got married, and they are asking whether the marriage is valid
Two people got married in accordance with sharee’ah and as enjoined by Allaah, but before marriage they used to get together and be intimate with one another like man and wife. What is the ruling on their marriage; is it valid or invalid? What is the expiation for what they used to do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Zina (fornication, adultery) is a serious crime and a major sin which takes away the quality of faith from a person, and exposes him to punishment and humiliation unless he repents. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”

[al-Isra’ 17:32]

and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57).

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man commits zina, faith comes out of him and hovers over him like a cloud, then when he stops, faith returns to him.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4960) and al-Tirmidhi (2625); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told us of the punishment that those who commit zina will receive in their graves before the Hour begins, and that they will be punished with fire. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1320).

Because of the abhorrent nature of this crime, Allaah has decreed that the punishment for it should be stoning to death if the person is married and flogging if he was not married.

The one who is faced with any such thing should hasten to repent to Allaah and do a lot of good deeds, in the hope that Allaah will forgive him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”

[Ta-Ha 20:82]

They must also conceal themselves with the concealment of Allaah, and not tell anyone about that, The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy things that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663.

Secondly:

It is not permissible for a man or woman who has committed zina to get married until after he or she has repented, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3]

If they had both repented to Allaah before getting married, and they regretted the haraam things that they had done, then their marriage is valid. But if they did the marriage contract before they repented, then the marriage is not valid and they have to repent to Allaah and regret what they have done, and resolve not to do such a thing again, then they should make a new marriage contract. This has been discussed in the answer to question no. 85335.

And Allaah knows best.

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/96460
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cat eyes
09-22-2010, 01:44 PM
that guy has to become muslim id also think that you should not get your hopes up to high about this man reverting.. also some men revert for the sake of marrying the girl.

also has he said that he wants to marry you? i don't know to many non muslims that want to marry after meeting some girl in night club :)

anyway may Allah help you ameen
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Muslim Woman
09-22-2010, 01:52 PM
Salaam

I heard that in few cases , non-Muslims embraceed Islam just for the sake of marriage . Later they returned to the previous religion . So , before marriage , make sure that he accepts Islam from his heart and not for marriage only. Tell him in advance that if he leaves Islam in future , ur marriage will be invalid then .

And Allah Knows Best.

PS. Before marriage , pl. offer Istekhara salat .
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Aishath
09-22-2010, 02:01 PM
Thank you to everyone who has replied. From the previous posts, am I to understand that if two people had committed zina even, and if they then sincerely repent, they can get married?
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Ramadhan
09-23-2010, 06:12 AM
Originally Posted by Aileen
Thank you to everyone who has replied. From the previous posts, am I to understand that if two people had committed zina even, and if they then sincerely repent, they can get married?
yes, they both have to sincerely repent first, and get married/nikkah according to syariah (remember that entailed in "repenting" is that they both have to follow syariah and stop doing haraam and that means no "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships).
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Hamza Asadullah
09-26-2010, 03:06 AM
Originally Posted by Aileen
Thank you to everyone who has replied. From the previous posts, am I to understand that if two people had committed zina even, and if they then sincerely repent, they can get married?
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, if those two people sincerely repent feeling remorseful with the intention never to repeat such act and then from then on do things the right way and get married immediately in the proper Islamic manner then i do not see why the marriage would not become halal.

My sister you should firstly ensure that this man is going to revert to Islam for the right reasons as in because he believes it with his heart and not just because he wants to marry you. You should also make Isthikhara and then consult your parents on the matter.

If things go positively then you should marry immediatley in the proper manner but in the mean time you not be in touch and do things the right way from now on.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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