Originally Posted by Aileen
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister it is a very good thing to feel remorseful of ones sinful past as this is a sign of imaan. As long as you repent sincerely feeling utterly remorseful with the intention of NEVER to repeat such acts will find Allah most merciful. Allah loves giving forgiveness and his mercy outweigh's his anger. So always repent to Allah as Allah loves it when his slave repents to him in meekness and humbleness.
The person who misses a fast can spend their entire life making up for the fast but they would not be able to, such is the reward of Fard fasting. If a person broke their fast by purposly ejaculating then they will have to fast one day to make up for this day, but do not have to offer any expiation. That person must also feeling very remorseful and sincerely repent and NEVER repeat such despicable act again.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Majmoo’ (6/377);
If he spoils his fast with something other than intercourse, such as eating, drinking, masturbating or foreplay that leads to ejaculation, then there is no expiation because the text speaks only of intercourse, and these things do not come under the same heading.
However if one willingly breaks a Ramadhaan fast without a valid Shar’ee reason by eating drinking etc and one has no excuse like for e.g. illness, etc. then one must keep a Qadhaa fast in lieu thereof. Furthermore, as Kaffaarah, 60 consecutive fasts will have to be kept. If one willingly breaks a fast out of Ramadhaan, then only Qadhaa should be kept without Kaffaarah. However, if one breaks a fast due to a valid Shar’ee reason, then only Qadhaa should be kept without Kaffaarah. This is irrespective of whether the fast was a Ramadhaan fast or not. (Raddul Muhtaar vol.2 pg.404; HM Saeed)
Therefore if you have ever broken any fasts in Ramadan from puberty until now with no valid excuse by eating drinking etc then you must make a kaffarah of fasting 60 days consecutively and you can only miss fast during these 60 days due to your menses and when your menses finish then you can resume fasting again. Any other reason for missing fasts like illness etc means that you have to do the 60 again. You only have to do one kaffarah for ALL the fasts you have ever broken in Ramadan due to eating drinking etc.
In regards to masterbation then you only have to make up for that particualr fast and there is no kaffarah for masterbation but this must NEVER be repeated again. As well as keeping the 60 fasts consecutively as kaffarah one must also keep all the fast one has ever missed or broken from puberty until now. One must make a sensible calculation as to all the fasts one has broken or missed from puberty until now. As winter is fast approaching there is no better time to start fasting inshallah.
Continue to pay back your debts to Allah in terms of making up for all your fard and wajib prayers and fard fasts from puberty until now. Do what you can manage and do not overburden yourself. You must not rush the qadha prayers as they will also be scrutinised and you mst pray it like it is a normal fard prayer.
Strive to be closer to Allah and do as much dhikr(remembrance) of Allah as you can. Also find tiome to recite the Qur'an along with its meanings and join a local sisters circle or halaqa as this will be beneficial for you and at the same time you will meet good and pious sisters as well as involving yourself with Muslim sisters as oppose to the company you previously kept.
Make much dua to Allah for him to make it easy for you and he does want you to be closer to him so you should be so happy and thankful to Allah and make the best of every second of your life as out time is too short and we will regret the seconds we wasted without the remembrance of Allah and in doing good deeds to please Allah.
So learn from the past and take good from it and do things better now and the future for that is what matters most!
Here are some very beneficial lectures which you and your siblings should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:
Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness
Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]
Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul
HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3
Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3
Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq
Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan
How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?
AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"
Here are some very beneficial articles for you to help you on your journey to Jannah and to make best use of every second of your life in this world:
10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)
30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!
Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!
My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!
10 steps to getting closer to Allah
Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!
Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!
VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!
Please remember me in your dua's.
and Allah knows best in all matters