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anonymous
10-01-2010, 08:44 AM
:sl:


Why did god make some people beautiful and others ugly ?? Im not questioning on allah's creations. I just want to know why ive been made this way ? When i look around at others, everyone else is better looking, i even get told im ugly by family members.

Why ?
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tango92
10-01-2010, 11:01 AM
noone is ugly. thats just an adolescent perception. the "ugliest" of people are often the most succesful because they have to rely on their brains.

how you look isnt necessarily a hindrance to marriage either imo, there is a fish in the sea for every1.

and in the sight of Allah it doesnt matter how you look. so indeed youve been given an oppurtunity to become close to Allah, i suggest you take it if you want to find peace/happiness
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
10-01-2010, 11:06 AM
Wa`Alaaykum Salaam

I seriously feel its whats inside that counts and not what you look like, what you look like is just a way to recognise your you. When the Prophet Sallahu alaayhi wa salam said when you marry one you, most importantly you should look at the piety/character of one and not the way they look, looks dont remain for ever. Allaah created everyone in their own way, the way that pleases him, also realise that looks arent going to take us to Jannah, its our actions our characters etc.

Just because a person is beautiful doesnt make them a better person, they may be the worst looking from the inside, what i mean by that is that character may be disgusting.However this doesnt make all Beautiful people disgusting. I hope i make sense.

What matters most is what Allaah thinks of you, sees you as etc, not what others think, see you as, realise that he is ever watching and make Dua to him to help you in your hard times
I hope someone can give you better advice and Insha`Allaah it helps

Peace
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marwen
10-01-2010, 11:27 AM
great posts have been made above mashaAllah !

No one is ugly if he dresses properly. So I really don't care how ugly I am, I just try to be clean and well dressed. :p

The most important thing that we have to keep in mind is that, those people who only care about your apparence, you really don't need them. You just need people who care about your "inside". Not being beautiful is not a bad thing, it's rather a good thing : it helps you know who are the good people around you who don't care about your external appearance.

External beauty is a relative, brief and unsustainable. It's like money, or cars or big houses. At the end you'll realize that you don't really need it to reach Allah.
Allah's Messenger said:
"Verily Allah does not look to your faces and your wealth
but
He looks to your heart and to your deeds."
[Sahih Muslim]
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-01-2010, 11:58 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam

sorry to sound so blunt but no pun intended.

honestly and seriously, people who have your mindset no matter what anyone says to them, they can never believe otherwise. no matter how many times people assure them that they are good looking, they will never believe it. no matter what advise people give, it wont sink in. do you know why? because in their own minds and hearts that is what they believe....so what you have to do, is start digging deep and start believing in yourself. i know it sounds so airy fairy but no amount of people can change your mind until and unless you start changing how you see yourself.

just because someone says your ugly, it doesn't mean you are. are you going to jump off a cliff becuase someone tells you to as well?

p.s family members just say things like that just as a joke so dont take it too heart too much.
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anonymous
10-01-2010, 12:06 PM
Ive been brought up hearing this stuff as a child, (& i was ugly then-i admit it myself) in my teens i shook it off and pushed it back of my mind. Lately ive been changing myself in the physical sense, to make myself feel better about me, but it doesnt. the "me" inside, i feel its worthless too.
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-01-2010, 12:34 PM
i don't think any amount of changing yourself physically can work. well not always anyway. i think its a mental/emotional issue that needs to be fixed first....

why do you feel worthless? do these thoughts and feeling affect you so much that you aren't able to see/acknowledge that you have use as well? do you want to change?

do you compare yourself to people? not necessarily in your looks (that too), but with what you do? are you around people who think differently from you? it could just be that you are in the wrong place and among the wrong people? thats all these issues boils down to sometimes just the fact that the people one is around see things differently and so if they arent like them, they get picked on. but it doesnt mean that they are in the wrong or anything, its just the fact that they happen to be in the same place where these types of people who disagree with you as well.

like those stories you hear about how someone was treated really badly, but then they went somewhere else, they were honored and people loved them ....and it goes the other way as well. someone may be loved somewhere, but elsewhere they are disliked. so its just really about perspective.

another example could be that a Muslim feels really good around other Muslims and they treat him/her well but when this muslim goes to school or anywhere, where there aren't any Muslims, things get a bit hostile (no offense to any non-Muslims) and that Muslim may feel uncomfortable. there is obviously nothing wrong with the Muslim but had those people who feel hostile understood and were Muslim themselves, they would have treated him/her as he/she ought to be treated. but again, that Muslim would feel good among other Muslims becuase they make them feel welcomed, etc.

i don't think its so much how you look and feel, i think its a learned behavior...like you said, you've been told you are ugly since you were a kid so naturally (unfortunately) its actually convinced you that you are this.. i think you just somehow need to acquire the opposite.
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Danah
10-01-2010, 12:37 PM
Originally Posted by tango92
the "ugliest" of people are often the most successful because they have to rely on their brains.
^That is very true and deep!!

Originally Posted by anonymous
the "me" inside, i feel its worthless too.
I guess this is what you really need to work on right now. Find the strong sides on yourself and try to strengthen them. Like any normal person do, we all look for our weak points to surpass and for our strong points to show and strengthen. Don't say that you are worthless, everybody must be unique in something. The environment you are living in and they people surrounding you brainwashed you and make you feel that way that's why you find it hard to accept yourself with what you already have.

You might meet the most beautiful people but there characters are the worst. And you might meet (not good looking people) but they have noble/high characters. Few days ago we were talking about that issue in home and I was told by a relative this following story:
A young man always wished to marry a very beautiful woman but for some reasons he ended up marrying a woman that is not good looking "to him". He said: "She is so ugly that I couldn't even look at her face at home"!
But with days passing by he started to know her more, and because of her kindness, intelligence he loved her so much. So this man was saying that beauty is not important as the person character is.

That's why the physical appearance shouldn't be a criteria to evaluate others
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anonymous
10-01-2010, 01:03 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
i don't think any amount of changing yourself physically can work. well not always anyway. i think its a mental/emotional issue that needs to be fixed first....

why do you feel worthless? do these thoughts and feeling affect you so much that you aren't able to see/acknowledge that you have use as well? do you want to change?

do you compare yourself to people? not necessarily in your looks (that too), but with what you do? are you around people who think differently from you? it could just be that you are in the wrong place and among the wrong people? thats all these issues boils down to sometimes just the fact that the people one is around see things differently and so if they arent like them, they get picked on. but it doesnt mean that they are in the wrong or anything, its just the fact that they happen to be in the same place where these types of people who disagree with you as well.

like those stories you hear about how someone was treated really badly, but then they went somewhere else, they were honored and people loved them ....and it goes the other way as well. someone may be loved somewhere, but elsewhere they are disliked. so its just really about perspective.

another example could be that a Muslim feels really good around other Muslims and they treat him/her well but when this muslim goes to school or anywhere, where there aren't any Muslims, things get a bit hostile (no offense to any non-Muslims) and that Muslim may feel uncomfortable. there is obviously nothing wrong with the Muslim but had those people who feel hostile understood and were Muslim themselves, they would have treated him/her as he/she ought to be treated. but again, that Muslim would feel good among other Muslims becuase they make them feel welcomed, etc.

i don't think its so much how you look and feel, i think its a learned behavior...like you said, you've been told you are ugly since you were a kid so naturally (unfortunately) its actually convinced you that you are this.. i think you just somehow need to acquire the opposite.

Ive realised the physical change doesnt work now, ive been doing it for a few years. I wanted to feel better about myself as a person, but i dont. the worthlessness ive no idea ? Im content with what ive got, i aint being picky or questioning anything really in terms of my life as it is. Its just i dont have any good feelings for myself. I do want to change, if i did it b4 i guess i could do it again. I think its more negative influence from extended family. I always told myself "make the best of what you've got" but i cant even do that anymore. I made myself into a recluse, over the years, refused to go to functions of any sort, cos i felt out of place. Even dressed up i only feel that uglyness.

I do compare myself to others, but have tried not to in recent months. This works to some extent, as i try to distract my thoughts and think of other things.

Ive also been having thoughts where i actually think the hijaab is adding to my uglyness. I would never take it off, & understand the purpose of it and im grateful but sometimes i do have thoughts where i wish i didnt have to wear it.

I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?
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anonymous
10-01-2010, 01:04 PM
Originally Posted by Danah
^That is very true and deep!!


I guess this is what you really need to work on right now. Find the strong sides on yourself and try to strengthen them. Like any normal person do, we all look for our weak points to surpass and for our strong points to show and strengthen. Don't say that you are worthless, everybody must be unique in something. The environment you are living in and they people surrounding you brainwashed you and make you feel that way that's why you find it hard to accept yourself with what you already have.

You might meet the most beautiful people but there characters are the worst. And you might meet (not good looking people) but they have noble/high characters. Few days ago we were talking about that issue in home and I was told by a relative this following story:
A young man always wished to marry a very beautiful woman but for some reasons he ended up marrying a woman that is not good looking "to him". He said: "She is so ugly that I couldn't even look at her face at home"!
But with days passing by he started to know her more, and because of her kindness, intelligence he loved her so much. So this man was saying that beauty is not important as the person character is.

That's why the physical appearance shouldn't be a criteria to evaluate others

Thats the thing, im just really, really weak as a person, my imaan is at an all time low, and im drifting away, and bordering on the straying path, having been down the wrong side, not so long ago, i know its going to be easy for me to fall apart and stray again, thats where my main worries lie. If i could make myself get past this "worthless" stage then i know i would be able to heal myself mentally and emotionally...but i cant. I constantly look for flaws within myself. I dont know how to get past that.
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Danah
10-01-2010, 01:43 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?
Then you need to find practicing people to be friends with. The people we live with are one the most important things that affect the person character and his way of thinking.
Instead of being surrounding by such "shallow" folk you gotta find some people who are thinking higher than the worldly mater.


Originally Posted by anonymous
Thats the thing, im just really, really weak as a person, my imaan is at an all time low, and im drifting away, and bordering on the straying path, having been down the wrong side, not so long ago, i know its going to be easy for me to fall apart and stray again, thats where my main worries lie. If i could make myself get past this "worthless" stage then i know i would be able to heal myself mentally and emotionally...but i cant. I constantly look for flaws within myself. I dont know how to get past that.
You can't get your iman back all at one moment. Try to do things that will bring you closer to Allah steps by steps. Have a look on this:
10 steps to draw closer to Allah


May Allah ease your affairs sister soon.
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tango92
10-01-2010, 01:55 PM
i want to share two examples with you inshallah

prophet yusuf - well known as one of the most handsome men to have walked the planet
prophet muhammad pbuh - is said to have been extremely beautiful aswell

peace be upon them both

it may seem like a fairytale but why were they beautiful? because they were prophets and among those whose iman was so great we cant even fathom. noor is something that Allah chooses to give to his believers, I think if we can also strengthen our iman and live life in FULL submission to Allah then inshallah why wouldnt Allah swt give you his noor? i know it seems like a long shot but i know someone who was like you, when his imaan became strong Allah made him beautiful.......

also if you were very good looking this could be a great fitna on you, vanity, obsessiveness, ego and excessive attention from the opposite gender. these are the plagues of the good looking, it may seem appealing on the outside but your imaan is in danger in such a state.

may Allah make it easy on you
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-01-2010, 02:29 PM
I always told myself "make the best of what you've got" but i cant even do that anymore. I made myself into a recluse, over the years, refused to go to functions of any sort, cos i felt out of place. Even dressed up i only feel that uglyness.
you can always look at things from different perspective. for example you still have your health. and you are still intelligent and you are still friendly.

I do compare myself to others, but have tried not to in recent months. This works to some extent, as i try to distract my thoughts and think of other things.
do you realize your own abilities/talents. do you acknowledge and realize the good about you? you cant seriously believe there is nothing good about you? once you realize your own talents, etc then your self-esteem tends to build up a bit. you realize you aren't a person for the people, but a person for yourself with your own abilities within your own scope of capability, intelligence, etc. someone may have something you don't but that someone will also NOT have something that you DO. i refuse to believe that you are worthless and i hope you realize the same as-well.



I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?
people on tv have to look good and attractive...why else would they be on tv, they are being seen by everyone. even women (probably even men) who are in their 40's and 50's have to be jazzed up. trust me underneath all that makeup isnt a nice smooth face like the makeup make you believe there is. they have to look nice because if they don't they'll probably get fired becuase they are not attracting ratings/number of viewers.

on the outside people may get comments about their looks, but the reason why, can also very disturbing. women are often manipulated and brainwashed into looking the way they do (think of advertisements) and they will never realize it because they think its all good just becuase they get commented on it. just becuse they are in the spotlight, everything is great. wrong.

people can get good comments about their looks, but just how you are feeling, they also feel down in the dumps (actually probably worse) because they display themselves becuase of their self esteem issues (think models...males and females). those models don't get on the cat walk becuase they know how good looking they are, they get on becuase they have self esteem issues that they know they will get praised for. if this isn't prison i don't know what is. its funny how women with self-esteem issues always sway towards degradation whilst believing that she is free. alhamdulilah 3ala deenil Islam.

so getting complimented doesn't always equal something good either. the difference is that i think you are better off then those who get complimented- at least you aren't fake and have deceived yourself that you are free =)...

often people will throw nasty comments at you, becuase they know you are better then them. maybe you have something about you that they admire, but attack you for whats of the surface and not get noticed becuase that's what everyone else says.

besides people always point out the bad. do people comment and point out good looks to the face of others? people can be jealous and wont say nice things to you or about you to your face.

and about your hijab who are you wearing your hijab for? to please the people or to please Allah?

strengthen and fight against whats within...be around a good crowd. meet new people who love you for who you are. you only need one close friend to make you feel like the world.

strengthen your iman...your problems may not go away (inshallah they will), but at-least with iman you have a better perspective of things...and with iman you feel more patient with the trials of this life.

please forgive me if i've said anything offensive.

all the best ukhtee. it would be a shame to see someone letting all their good down the drain for a belief that isn't even true imsad
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Woodrow
10-01-2010, 02:51 PM
Beauty/Ugly what is it that determines determines which is which?

All humans are beautiful it is the advertising media and cultural bias that have made a concept of human beauty that most of us will never achieve. We have all been mislead by human opinion and our own prejudices to such a large extent many of us can no longer recognize beauty we see beauty by what we are told is beauty. The truly ugly people are often perceived as being beautiful and they think of themselves as being beautiful.
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أحمد
10-01-2010, 03:44 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by anonymous
I think im in contact with a lot of shallow people in my life, most of them family. I can tolerate it, but sometimes i cant see past the things they say. In their eyes some1 beautiful is someone equivalent to a bollywood actress. caked on makeup and long flowing locks with a size 0 figure. culture eh ?
At dunya: When someone paints a wall; "it looks beautiful". When they paint themselves; they consider it beautiful.

In the Akhirah: The painted wall is gone, so is the paint.

The beautiful people are the Muttaqoon. When they enter jannah, they realise that compared to it; all material reality of the dunya is ugly.

The character of a mu'min is beautiful.

What beauty do people wish to talk about; the paint on the wall, or the one we take with us in the Akhirah?

:wa:
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
10-01-2010, 03:59 PM
If Allaah cares more about whats in your heart and not how you look, then why should you worry more about how you look rather than how you act? If Allaah your creator cares about what its in your heart and not how you look,then you must stop thinking about how you look, because Allaah created you that way and realise that you will never be able to change yourself/your appearance or how you look, the only thing you should worry about is how you act towards others, your dress code equalling to modesty, your a muslim, as brother Marwen mentioned to be clean and to be well dressed, Allaah created you not so that you will regret the way he made you but so that you will thank him for how he made you, as you are still different to others for what he blessed you with, he blessed you with Islaam and he gave you eyes to see not so that you may say they are ugly but grateful that you are able to read his noble book through them eyes.

As a muslim we shouldnt think bad of ourselves, because we are still Allaahs creation, the only one were putting down is ourselves, then we have low self esteem, low confidence etc because we let these things get to us. We should follow the Prophet Muhammad Sallahu alaayhi wa salam because he is our best example. Unfortunately we live in a sad world, where people hate those who are different to them and like to make the other individual feel as in they are lower than them, this is called Pride which is haraam, looking down on another is haraam, they must fear Allaah SWT, theyre only making fun of the creation of Allaah! Maybe next time when someone speaks badly of you, let them know that they must fear Allaah and the Prophet Sallahu alaayhi wa salam forbid one to make fun of another, as it hurts the person very much.
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Snowflake
10-01-2010, 10:36 PM
:sl:

You may be ugly. But being ugly doesn't mean being unlovable. Some of the most loved people have faces that would never turn heads, but they are more loved than those whose faces adorn the pages of magazines. They are loved and admired for their sense of humour, kindness, compassion and generally because of what they are inside. Those who know them desire their friendship and company. On the other hand there are beautiful people who are ugly. Some of the loneliest people on the plant are the beautiful ones. Some are arrogant and mean, and when people sees this side to them, they don't beautiful to them any more. Lots of beautiful women don't have friends, because women feel threatened by them.


If Allah has blessed you with good characteristics, then let them shine through. Don't withdraw and stop people seeing the real you. Nothing is more beautiful than someone with a beautiful heart. Above all, don't let your looks get you down. Remember they are temporary, and one day no face will remain as it is. Strive to attain jannah, and you will be as beautiful as you want to be inshaAllah.
One way or another this world will give us pain. There is one place you'll find peace. Turn your face toward Allah. How beautiful and dear those tear stained faces must be to Allah when they praise and glorify His name. :cry:



:wa:
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alcurad
10-02-2010, 12:12 AM
some people look good until you know them, and others that don't seem pretty from a quick look while walking down the street turn out to be truly wonderful persons. low self esteem is not going to earn you any points in life or in the hereafter, but liking yourself for who you are will get you farther than you seem to think.
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Hamza Asadullah
10-02-2010, 05:16 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:


Why did god make some people beautiful and others ugly ?? Im not questioning on allah's creations. I just want to know why ive been made this way ? When i look around at others, everyone else is better looking, i even get told im ugly by family members.

Why ?
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Rasuallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) advised us to always think of those who are less fortunate than us. Therefore we should put ourselves in their position and only then will we realise how lucky we really are.

Imagine if you were born in poverty?
Imagine if you were born with a debilitating and disfiguring disease?
Imagine if you were born in a war torn country?
Imagine if you were born with there is massacre and oppression of the people?
Imagine if you were born a non believer?
Imagine if you were born with no parents and was adopted?

You are much luckier than most people in this world. Just look at what they have in comparison with what you have.

Don't be fooled into thinking that those who have better looks or have more materialistic wealth are happy because when we look at people around us we don't know what they are going through in their life. They could be going through the worst experiences that we can never imagine. This is what shaythan wants you to think. He is decieving you.

There are certain people who we see on the streets who may look happy but they are going through terrible trials and experiences. Therefore do not judge a book by its cover. These celebrities you see on the TV and magazines may look like they have everything but in reality all they have is emptiness in their lives and most of them end up in rehabilitation centres. The fact is they are not happy and this proves that wealth, fame and looks do not cause happiness. Contentment, happiness, peace and tranquility are ONLY found with the remembrance of Allah!

"Verily! Only in the remembrance of Allah will your heart find peace."
Quran (Surah 13: Verse 29)

Allah tells us in the Qur'an the way to gain this contentment, peace and happiness in our hearts and lives. This is soemthing most people would die for and it is something non believers look for their whole entire lives but look in the wrong places and consequantly never find what they are looking for. Celebrities like in hollywood and bollywood are just slaves to the system for they cannot think for themselves or do what they want. They have to conform to what they are told to do and many become trapped in this "game" and find it hard to get out. This is why many end up in a downhill spiral. Shaythan promises them everything in return for a cheap price but this fair exchange is far from fair for it ends up ruining their lives and there are many celebrities who are an example of this.

So let us not look up to them for they are no role model to us or mankind but they are exactley what we don't want to be for they themselves do not want to be in their position. We should count ourselves lucky we have imaan and we have Allah just a dua away.

Surely Allah created you and all of us beautiful in our own ways so does it matter what anyone else thinks? In the eyes of Allah the most beautiful women are those who cover themselves fully for the pleasure of Allah and the most ugliest and cursed in his eyes and the most beautiful to shaythan are those who do not cover and show off their bodily definitions and are dressed as if they are naked.

So would you rather be beautiful in the eyes of your creator Almighty Allah or your eternal sworn enemy shaythan?

Disregard what others say about you for you are beautiful to Allah for he created you and beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What one person calls ugly may be another person's idea of beautiful. Those who put down others in such a way will come back to them in some way as this offends Allah who created us in his own beautiful way so why should his creations call each other ugly.

Therefore these people hould be disregarded and you should just think to yourself all that matters is that i am covering myself properly for the pleasure of Allah and therefore in the eyes of Allah i am the most beautiful.

So we should thank Allah constantly for what he has given us.Out of all the people in this world look at what he has given us? Do we go days without eating? Do we struggle to find clean and drinkable water? Do we have families around us? Do we have shelter to live in? Are you disabled or have a terrible disease? Why do we not thank Allah that he has created us without all of these terrible things in our lives?

The best thing of all is that we have been given imaan(faith) and that is something so unique and amazing more than we can ever imagine.

Not everyone has been given imaan and not all those who are given imaan die with imaan so it is crucial that we obey the commandments of Allah and remember him as much as we can so that we can be successful in this world and the next. How many people in this world could Allah have put us in the position of? We could of lived lives like non believers and died disbelievers but Allah has saved us and given us imaan and deen in our lives so we should count our blessings and thank Allah as much as we can all the time.

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

Always thank Allah for EVERYTHING

A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, I asked, “Messenger of Allah, why do you exert yourself so much while all your sins have been forgiven?” To this he replied, “`A’ishah, should I not be a grateful servant of Allah?” (Muslim).

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah is pleased with His slave who says: `Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah)’ when he takes a morsel of food and drinks a draught of water.” (Muslim)

Allah will increase us the more thankful we are to him

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]

Dua to make in every dua to become of the appreciative

Allahumma a-inni ala Zikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatik

(O Allah! Help me to remember you, to thank you, and to worship you in the best of manners)

Thanking people

The Prophet (Peace be upon him)said, Whoever has a favour done for him and says ‘Jazaak Allahu khayran‘ has done his utmost to thank him. (At-Tirmithi)

You should also make the best of every second of your life and not waste your precious seconds in thinking in this way because it matters not what others may think but what matters is what Allah thinks and Allah sees you as beautiful and inshallah he will give you the best partner for you who will also see you as most beautiful because it is ONLY Allah who pairs up two people to be destined together so if you do things the right way and obey Allah and ask of him then do you think he will deny you the best partner for you? Of course not! So have hope in Allah and faith in him for he will NEVER let you down! It is ONLY shaythan who is putting confusion and doubts in your mind for he is your enemy and only wants your destruction!

Go towards Allah for Allah wants you towards him. Take a little step towards him and he will take huge leaps towards you. Fulfil your obligations to him in the form of Salaah 5 times a day and remember him as often as you can learning about deen and remembering and glorifying him. Be with good and pious company and be the best towards your family and others even though they are not the best towards you for your reward is with Allah and not them. Recite the words of Allah as much as you can and always turn to Allah in dua. Allah is there for you so share everything with him and create a close bond and relationship with him.

If you put your reliance, faith, trust and hope in Allah then this is enough for you but do not waste any more of your seconds on what others say for all that matters is that you are beautiful to Allah and you should be concerned about making the best of the little time you have left. Remember death as much as you can and know that we will all return to Allah ANY second!

Keep in your mind the purpose of your life for shaythan will try to always make you forget this but we should keep reminding ourselves that we are here for ONLY one purpose and if we do not fulfill that purpose then we are not here fulfilling out duties and purpose of our life. The purpose of our life is ONE and that is to worship ONLY Allah and please him as much as we can. The best worship is Salaah so therefore let us worship him as much as we can and fulfill our obligations to Allah. Let us also call on others to do the same.

Know that we are only here for such a short amount of time and we will only look like this in this life but inshallah when we enter into Jannah then we will be beautiful beyond comprehension for eternity and our beauty will increase every Friday in Jannah! Subhanallah! Even in this life our beauty is our modesty and character. Therefore those of us who are modest and best in character and those women who cover are the most beautiful in the eyes of Allah in this life and they will be the most beautiful in the next life for eternity!

So who cares who looks ugly and who looks beautiful in the eyes of those with distorted and flawed vision but what really matters is who Allah finds beautiful!

Finally make as much dua as possible to Allah all the time for him to make it easy for you and he does want you to be closer to him so you should be so happy and thankful to Allah and make the best of every second of your life as out time is too short and we will regret the seconds we wasted without the remembrance of Allah and in doing good deeds to please Allah.


Here are some very beneficial lectures which you and your siblings should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:

Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ


Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]

AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc




Here are some very beneficial articles for you to help you on your journey to Jannah and to make best use of every second of your life in this world:



10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...our-Iman(Faith)

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...of-their-lives!

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-on-the-scales!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...worship)-check!

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...loser-to-Allah

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...to-do-Everyday!

Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...s-the-solution!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...-Pray-Everyday!


Please remember me in your dua's.

and Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Lonely Gal
10-02-2010, 08:08 PM
one person may be ugly to one but to another they will be the most beautiful of all...
Reply

Cabdullahi
10-02-2010, 08:33 PM
influx of women magazines and television shows and now we're all shallow....what you think about yourself is what counts...people will say things, you have to pay no attention to what they say

things have changed so much, it used to be 'i have to be good to others...i will be loved for my personality' now its ' i have to wow people with the way i look' i have to make heads turn' ' i have to try this product to bring the best out of me'

We've been conditioned for years....to like a certain aesthetic look for example 'the skinny fair' you might not even like that, you might like 'chubby brown' but they'll influence you to change your opinion that's what they do...

whats ugly for some might not be ugly for others....we cannot accept people higher up the hierarchy telling us that we need to look a certain way, a set standard for everyone to follow....''show a bit of cleavage!''...''wear tight clothing'' ''make yourself known by the way you look'' and ''dont ever cover up because when you cover up you become invisible''

then you get a million people competing by looks instead of competing by behavior and good character...its a whole lotta bull!
Reply

Snowflake
10-02-2010, 08:43 PM
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being ugly.. attractiveness is different to ugliness. I know it can be painful to hear being called ugly.. but then how shallow must those people be to call someone ugly and not care about their feelings.. they must be ugly on the inside.. a person can not be good looking and still be attractive.. just be a sincere person who loves others for the sake of Allah, even when they don't. Those who know the value of real beauty will see it inshaAllah. And have faith sis. Allah will compensate you for your suffering better than you can imagine inshaAllah. Perhaps it will make others wish they'd been in your shoes. :)
Reply

anonymous
10-02-2010, 09:51 PM
Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.
Reply

anonymous
10-02-2010, 09:59 PM
Originally Posted by Hamza81

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!
I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.
Reply

Cabdullahi
10-02-2010, 10:14 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.
what people say will only bug you if you allow it...its a psychological thing and there are things you can do to make you feel better about yourself....once you ignore people you'll find that your making a lot of progress in changing your attitude
Reply

tango92
10-02-2010, 10:19 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.
it can be hard to understand each others emotions in plain text.

sis when you get older this mentality will fade away. the beautiful ones now will wither away (quite quickly) as time progresses just like all things in this dunya. what matters is whats in your brain and heart which will determine your life.....
Reply

Snowflake
10-02-2010, 10:56 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.
Yeah, I understand sis.. people don't necessarily want to be Miss/Mr Universe but at the same time they don't want to be called ugly either. And rightly so! And like you said it's something that's out of your control, so the next time anyone calls you ugly, tell them that, "You didn't make yourself, Allah did, so they aren't putting you down but are putting down Allah's creation!" InshaAllah give it to them good and proper sis.











.
Reply

marwen
10-02-2010, 11:31 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Originally Posted by Hamza81
So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!
I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.
I don't think bro Hamza81 meant you are ungrateful. He was only giving some advice, to keep you safe from being ungrateful in the future.

Back to the subject. I just want to tell you that you should forget about all this, with these thoughts you are really torturing yourself sister for something not worthy. Thinking about self ugliness is the problem of all teenagers, and it means nothing. You are a normal person.

And if you hear someone talking about you, it doesn't mean what he says is true; you should ask yourself what reasons make this person talk like that. If you are really ugly, I don't think people will tell you that. this doesn't make any sense : I can't imagine if I'm Ugly and I'm hanging out, every person who sees me will stop me and tell me : "hey dude ! I'm sorry but .. you're so Ugly man !" and then he walks away. This makes no sense :-\ Besides who cares if I'm ugly or not, and what make him want to tell me I'm ugly, will this help?
If people tell you you're ugly it's not because you look ugly to them; it is because they have other reasons (they want to joke with you, or they want to make you angry, etc.) So don't count too much on what people say. Just ignore it and forget these thoughts.

May Allah give you happiness, and forgive me and all the muslims.
Reply

Yanal
10-03-2010, 01:57 AM
:sl:

We tend to think that we are the only ones with flaws regarding ourselves,while someone may appear more better looking,you may not know what they are suffering through. Just thank Allaah for what you have,insha'Allaah.
Reply

anonymous
10-03-2010, 02:53 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
what people say will only bug you if you allow it...its a psychological thing and there are things you can do to make you feel better about yourself....once you ignore people you'll find that your making a lot of progress in changing your attitude
I know!

You'd think i would have a thick skin by now...hearing all this cr** but i dont. Im human at the end of the day, and everyone has an emotional limit as to what they can endure.
Reply

anonymous
10-03-2010, 02:54 PM
Originally Posted by tango92
it can be hard to understand each others emotions in plain text.

sis when you get older this mentality will fade away. the beautiful ones now will wither away (quite quickly) as time progresses just like all things in this dunya. what matters is whats in your brain and heart which will determine your life.....
Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?
Reply

anonymous
10-03-2010, 02:59 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Yeah, I understand sis.. people don't necessarily want to be Miss/Mr Universe but at the same time they don't want to be called ugly either. And rightly so! And like you said it's something that's out of your control, so the next time anyone calls you ugly, tell them that, "You didn't make yourself, Allah did, so they aren't putting you down but are putting down Allah's creation!" InshaAllah give it to them good and proper sis.
jazakhallah. I'll try this one next time. Its not just the physical aspect although that doesnt botha me to an extent. I come from a cultured family, so really theres only a few of us that wear the hijab....its older relatives comments that get to me, cos they shud know better, but also they make out that hijab is seen as an ugly thing. Sometimes i think to myself why do i bother placing all these restrictions on myself ? when it just brings misery. ?? I know i shouldnt think like that, thats more other peoples opinion, clouding what i stand for.
Reply

tango92
10-03-2010, 03:24 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?
i dont know. what do you want me to say?
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
10-03-2010, 05:14 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.
Asalaamu Alaikum, i did not mean it as in you want to be like a bollywood star and look up to celebrities etc but these were just examples i was giving in general because of the fact that unfortunatley celebrities are seen as role models nowadyas because of the strong media influence and because of that certain people feel that if they don't conform with that image that they are in someway ugly or not normal.

I understand where you are coming from that because a lot of your family are moderates that they see you wearing hijaab as not something that will conform to western society but this is a very sad state of affairs. Surely Allah's curse are on those people who mock the hijaab and any other aspect of Islam. How can these people lower themselves to this extent so as to call wearing the hijaab looking ugly? This is even more reason to disregard what comes out of their mouths and to even avoid sitting with them for too long. You should also explain to them in a gentle manner that the hijaab is fard on women and not optional. They need to understand Islam properly and not look at it in a mdoerate and diluted way for their versio of Islam is not Islam at all.

Whenever they imply that you are ugly in anyway then you should come out and tell them that it is not right for them to be calling you ugly or that hijaab makes you look ugly. Do not say it in a hrash manner but in a firm way so as to make them realise that their comments are hurtful and that they should not be making such comments. You should tell them that one should never hurt another Muslims feelings and that a Muslim should always be safe from anothers tongue. They should realise that their comments are very hurtful and causing you distress. Maybe you can take them to the side and talk to them. Open up to them and tell them how their comments are hurting you. If you don't tell them then how will they ever know?

Also you should always keep in mind that you do not care how others view you because as long as you covering is beautiful in the eyes of Allah then why should you care how you look in the eyes of others? To shaythan you wearing hijaab is ugly but to Allah it is most beautiful then who's views do you care more about?

Be proud that you are wearing the hijaab and NEVER let anyone put you down because of the way you look or the fact that you wear the hijaab. Be proud that you are covering for the pleasure of Allah and that you are doing what Allah has ordained upon you. Those who mock you for your looks and hijaab will eat their own words on the day of judgement and regret what they have said unless they repent and ask you for forgiveness for hurting your feelings. There will be recompanse on the day of judgement for hurting another Muslims feelings and not given them their rights.

So be proud sister and hold your head up high. Strive to go closer to Allah and disregard the whispers of shaythan and his helpers who are only trying to put you down so that you may become disillusioned and go away from Allah.

If you are most beautiful in the eyes of Allah then do not care if you are not in the eyes of shaythan and those far from Islam.

And Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
10-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.
Asalaamu Alaikum, Just to clarify i actually meant it as in "we" should not be ungrateful slaves it was not meant to be just directed to "you". That is why i wrote towards the end of the sentence that "we" have more than most have. So it was a typing error i do apologise.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
10-03-2010, 05:22 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?
Sister you should not be harsh he only meant it as in when one gains more mental maturity through age then one will be able to deal better with these issues. We are only trying to help but when typing one can easily misunderstand.
Reply

أحمد
10-04-2010, 11:03 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by anonymous
Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.
Ignore whatever people say about ugliness; they have much time to waste and lack much gratitude towards their creature. Allah hasn't given people a pair of eyes and a mouth so that they can express how ugly others look. We haven't been created to criticise Allah's creation; we do actually have a genuine purpose of existence.



(51:56) And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.



(31:11) This is the creation of Allah . So show Me what those other than Him have created. Rather, the wrongdoers are in clear error.

:wa:

Reply

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