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mohammed_samuel
10-04-2010, 02:23 PM
my little sister wants to go to a university where she can stay lyk campus is it but im not very keen on the idea is it okay for her to go
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Muhaba
10-04-2010, 06:52 PM
depends on whether there's university closer to you to which she can commute to daily, whether the one she wants to go to is all women or co-ed, whether the dormitory is women only or co-ed, whether there's a men's dormitory nearby, whether it is a muslim university or nonmuslim, how religious is your sister, how old she is, how far away from home it is, how soon will she be coming back home, like on weekends or only holidays (which would depend on how far it is), whether there will be other sisters in her dorm that your family knows, etc.

also you need to look at the environment, are you living in a muslim country or nonmuslim? Are the people traditional or liberal, etc.

Personally, I think it's better to avoid living away from home. it's better to go to a university close to one's home, commuting daily. It's safer.
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Kashnowe
10-04-2010, 06:54 PM
i would think deeply about how easily she is influenced. my family has 3 girls. my older sister was not allowed to live in the dorm because my parents didn't think she was ready. looking back they were completely right. because even when she was lving at home she still got into some troubles and peer pressure. my youngest sister was very mature. even when she was only 3 people would say she acted like she was 30 hahaha. its so true. and she went to the dorm, studied every night and got striaght a's. thats just how she is.

think of how your sister acted as a little girl when she was left unsupervised and it will give you an idea of how she will act now. i really think people don't change much in life in regards to personality.

i stayed out of the dorms by choice. i decided myself that it would be best for my studies to be home, with peace and quiet and much less temptation. i never regret it because i know it would not have been best for me.

i did however visit a few friends in dorms....it was pure hedonism at its worst. only the strong come out unscathed.
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CosmicPathos
10-04-2010, 07:11 PM
dont allow your sister to live in the dorms. The college dorm scene in the US is pathetic.
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Tyrion
10-05-2010, 03:48 AM
I'm all for college dorms, at least for the first year. Definitely something everyone should experience, and I find that people who just stay home after high school never end up maturing the same way someone who went to the dorms does... Personally, the year I spent at the dorms completely changed the way I thought about almost everything, especially the way I dealt with people... I also came out of it with tons of new friends, which is a plus. Living in the dorms is also really the only way to become involved in school/club events, and she should at least participate in those for the first year... I commute now, and it's definitely a hassle to participate in any club meetings or events, since they all take place in the late evening.

As for religion in the dorms... Obviously she won't be surrounded by Muslims if this is an American school, but I think this has some benefits. Too many Muslims are closed minded because they haven't spent enough time around those of other faiths, and they become totally ignorant of the different people/ideas around them. The university/dorm experience will allow her to really think about other faiths, including her own, and to really build a deep understanding about it... I actually starting becoming serious about Islam in the dorms, and became stronger in faith because of the fact that my beliefs were actually challenged... ( I miss all those religious debates between me and my floor mates.. :p Good times...)

If you're worried about mixed gender, just make sure she applies for a floor or building that is all girls. Most universities have this kind of set up for those who ask, and she can even request to room with a friend she already knows. It's going to be up to her to be more responsible though, since even if she commutes from home, that's not enough to stop her from being exposed to shamelessness... That part is going to be on her, but as long as you've already talked to her about certain things, and visit her/keep in touch often, it should be fine.
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Life_Is_Short
10-05-2010, 07:59 AM
You can get a flat close to the university with a muslim flat-mate. Although expensive, this is much better than the dorms.

As for the classes, It's difficult but not impossible. You just have to keep your intentions clean. Prayer and reading Qur'an everyday keeps you on the right path. It really does.
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LauraS
10-07-2010, 08:27 PM
Well in Britain you don't share rooms even if you share flats. I don't know if you're American and it's different there. She's going to move away from home eventually and mix with different people so why does it matter? (That sounds ruder on screen that it's meant to sound in my head lol)

If she's old enough to goto uni then isn't she old enough to decide if she wants to study further and move away from home?
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