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Ummu Sufyaan
10-05-2010, 10:09 AM
:sl:
what do you do when nothing really seems to be working for you and there is no way out of your hardship...what do you do?

i know dua and patience should be implemented, but what else could be done. how else do/can you approach a difficulty when you are "cornered..."
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Hamza Asadullah
10-06-2010, 12:31 AM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
what do you do when nothing really seems to be working for you and there is no way out of your hardship...what do you do?

i know dua and patience should be implemented, but what else could be done. how else do/can you approach a difficulty when you are "cornered..."

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Jazakallahu khayran for the questuion which is relevant to all of us as we all go through trials in life but some go through bigger trials than others.

My sister the way to approach difficult tests that we are going through in life is to firstly internalise in our minds that this life is a test ground and we are in an examination but we do not know when this examination will end but whilst the examination is taking place we are being rigorously tested and at times we are tested until breaking piont just to see whether or not we will turn towards Allah or go away from him.

We must also internalise that Allah ONLY tests those who he wants close to him. Therefore the tests that we go through in our lives clearly show Allah is wanting us to turn towards him and be closer to him. This is in fact a great privelage. The greater the tests we go through the more Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hereafter. Therefore if we really want to know the best way to approach huge trials and tests then we should simply realise that the bigger the tests we are going through then the higher Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hererafter. Trials are a truly blessing in disguise. All Allah wants from us is for us to turn towards him in meekness and humbleness and for us to be patient and to turn to him in prayer and dua. Picture that fact that Allah loves it when his servant is in desperate need, crying to him for help for Allah tends to those who cry and sob to him immediatley just as a mother tends to its baby promptly when it is crying.

We should also internalise the fact that tests actually differentiate us believers from one another in terms of ranking in the eyes of Allah and therefore we should know that those who are tested and are patient are forgiven of their sins as sins falls off a person who is patient through trials just. Therefore we should realise that us being tested with trials and tests will NEVER go unrewarded for Allah rewards how much he wants to those who are patient through trials and those who turn towards him in humility and meekness.

It may be that a person who has experienced great trials in the world faces Allah on the day of judgement with little or no sins. So tests are a way of Allah forgiving a person of their sins so that on the day of judgement they have a much lighter load. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has called the day of judgement a "terrible" day and surely on this terrible day we would want as less sins as possible in our accounts if we are to be successful. Therefore these trials and tests are very important for us because they enable us to be forgiven for countless sins that would be a huge burden on us if it were in our accounts but due to the huge tests we faced with patience turning to Allah then it may be that we have very little or no sins at all on that day. The greater the trial the more sins fall off us. So know that even a prick of a thorn expiates ones sins.

We should also approach this in that it is the decree of Allah so we should NEVER ask Allah "Why" has he given us such trials? For questioning Allah why he has decreed something will mean that not only have we gone through so much grief and torment from these trials but that we have actually added to our sins by questioning Allah and we will be accountable for that.

Patience is one of the greatest attributes a person can acquire and Allah is with those who are patient and the reward for Patience is Paradise!

If one is patient, and is among the ones described in the following manner in the Qur’an (Baqarah, 2: 256)

Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-

Then here are the rewards Allah will give that person (2:157):

The Rewards of Patience are the folowing:

1. Blessings from Allah: The patient person is blessed by Allah.

2. Mercy of Allah: When Allah gives someone His Mercy, He will let him enter paradise with His Mercy.

3. Guidance of Allah: A patient person will be guided by Allah in this world until he meets Him on the Day of Judgment.

Referring to those who are tested and endure with Sabr or patience all of the above three rewards are mentioned by Allah Himself in the Qur’an in Surah Baqarah (2: 157):

“They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.”

In Surah Hud (11:11), Allah (S.W.T.) again promises to reward those who are patient in adversity.

Therefore let us realise that patience is the main thing Allah is looking for in us when we are going through trials and tests.

Here are two wonderful examples of patience through trials in the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) :

‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say: “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?”I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease? ‘ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’ The woman said: ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered. ‘ So the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her.” [Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]

Story of ‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair

‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair had an operation, and the doctor amputated his leg. One friend came to visit him. ‘Urwah thought that the fried came to pacify him for the loss of his leg. So ‘Urwah told the visitor: If you came to give me condolence for the loss of my leg, I already submitted to Allah with patience to reward me for its loss. The guest told him, I came to inform you that your son fell down in a stable, and the animals stepped over him, and he died one hour ago. ‘Urwah said: O Allah! You took one child, and left me many…You took one organ from my body, and left me many organs…O Allah! You tested me with my body, and you were kind to leave me with good health. You tested me with the loss of my son, but you were kind in leaving me the rest of my children.


We should also approach tests as in we should look at those who have less than us. We have clean tap water and food on our plates everyday. We have clean clothes washed regularly and shelter from the harsh weather. Whereas there are those who walk miles just for a sip of water and even then it is dirty. There are those who have the same clothes for years and cannot even wash them. There are those who go days without proper food and even then they have scraps and end up being malnourished. There are those like in the flood disaster recently who have no shelter and are exposed to terrible diseases. Those who have little or no money to buy even basic things aswell as medication for their sick family members. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) always told us to look at those who have less than us.

Sometims when we go through great trials we get decieved into thinking that other people that we see around us must be living a life happy and content. We are wrong to think in this way for we do not know what goes on in peoples lives. There are many examples of those who seemed as though they have SO much and seemed so happy but when certain things were revealed then it was clear that those people were living miserable lives full of torment! We may look at a person with a smile on his face but he may be going through trials we can never imagine.

Therefore when we are going through difficult times and trials then we should not look at others and think they are happy and living fulfilled lives for we do not know what any person on the street is going through on a day to day basis.

Therefore whenever we are going through difficult times and trials then we should put our full trust, hopes, faith and reliance in Allah for he will NEVER let us down but is only testing us because he wants us to turn towards him in humility, humbleness and meekness and he wants us to get much closer to him. He tests a person because he wants good for them and wants to forgive them and raise their ranks in the hereafter.

In reality how lucky is a person who is being tested greatly and is still patient and turning towards Allah night and day. How hig must Allah be raising his ranks and forgiving his sins on a daily basis until he is like a new born baby who has little or no sins on him at all. So the way to approach this is to realise that a person who is being tested greatly is in fact lucky but shaythan is wanting one to think opposite.

Shaythan is our eternal sworn enemy and ONLY wants us to lose hope and faith and to go away from Allah. He wants us tobecome disillusioned and lose all hope so that we go away from Alah and our deen. But we should reject our enemy who only wants our destruction. We should disregard his evil whispers and know that they are only lies and deciet.

Shaythan will try to make us think that there is no way out of this and this is because he wants us to give in and lose hope. But we must realise that if we continuously strive and keep turning towards Allah and be patient then the final victory WILL be ours! We will taste the sweetness of victory but in order to taste this victory we need to fight and strive through the tests and trials that life throws at us!

If one who is going through great trials continues to turn towards Allah in humility, meekness and in humblenes then know that the reward one will gain will be unimaginable. On the day of judgement once we see the reward of being patient through great trials turning towards Allah in humility then we would want Allah to have tested us even more so that we could have wreaped the rewards of being patient and turning towards Allah through trials and hardships. It is only on the day of judgement will we truly realise how much we have missed out on and how much more we wished we were tested by Allah so that our ranks were even higher.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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Yanal
10-06-2010, 01:31 AM
:sl:

Please do check the following link out: http://makkah.wordpress.com/helpful-duas/

Insha'Allaah it will give you some advice and input. May Allaah ease your path and forgive all of us for our sins,ameen.

:wa:
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-08-2010, 09:37 AM
what about when your hardships are "tied" with other people. for example you are forced to not talk with a relative (so cutting blood ties is involved).

or that you have to make a decision in a matter of time? so your hardship doesn't just involve you, it involves and affects other people...thus you are "stuck" or cornered. what do you do then?
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Snowflake
10-10-2010, 10:38 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
what about when your hardships are "tied" with other people. for example you are forced to not talk with a relative (so cutting blood ties is involved).

or that you have to make a decision in a matter of time? so your hardship doesn't just involve you, it involves and affects other people...thus you are "stuck" or cornered. what do you do then?

:sl: May Allah ease your situation ukhti. Ameen. Perhaps you can show the people involved the article below inshaAllah. If they still don't pay heed to the warnings of Allah and His Rasul (saw) then still make it clear to them that you cannot obey them in what Allah and the Prophet (saw) has prohibited. Other than that increase dhikr and darood and continue making dua for your relatives, while leaving the complicated matters to Allah. Nothing can yield better results than what has been left in Allah's hands.


When reciting verse five of Surah al Fatiha 'iyyâka na`budu wa iyyâka nasta`în' we affirm that we worship Allah alone, and ask Him for help. Reflecting on the meaning of the verse drives the affirmation to the deepest recesses of our hearts and minds. Then when a matter seems out of our control, we find it easier to apply that conviction by turning to Allah for help with full trust that Allah The Exalted, will help us by whatever means He wills.










Abandoning a Muslim brother for more than three days with no legitimate reason

This is one of the ways in which Shaytaan causes division among Muslims, and those who follow in the footsteps of Shaytaan may forsake a Muslim brother for no legitimate reason, but because of a dispute over money or some trivial disagreement. This division may continue for a lifetime, with one swearing that he will never speak to the other and vowing never to set foot in his house, turning away if he sees him in the street and ignoring him if he happens to encounter him in a gathering, shaking hands with everyone else but him. This is a cause of weakness in the Muslim community, hence the ruling concerning this is decisive and the warning against it is stern. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "It is not permitted for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three (days); whoever does this and dies, he will enter Hell." (Reported by Abu Dawud, 5/215; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 7635).

Abu Khuraash al-Aslami (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever forsakes his bother for a year, it is as if he has shed his blood." (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, hadeeth no. 406; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 6557).

It is bad enough that division among Muslims results in their being deprived of the forgiveness of Allaah, may He be glorified. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The deeds of the people are shown to Allaah twice a week, on Mondays and Thursdays; He forgives all His believing slaves, except for the one between whom and his brother is enmity. He says, 'Leave these two until they reconcile.'" (Reported by Muslim, 4/1988).

Whichever of the two parties repents to Allaah must then go back to his brother and greet him with salaam; if he does this and the other person ignores him, then the former is free of blame and the responsibility falls upon the latter. Abu Ayyoob reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "It is not permissible for a man to forsake his brother for more than three nights, each turning away if they meet. The better of the two is the one who is the first to greet the other with salaam." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/492).

There may be cases where there is a legitimate reason for forsaking a person, such as his not praying, or persisting in immorality. If forsaking him will benefit him by bringing him to his senses and making him see the error of his ways, then it is obligatory to forsake him, but if it will only make him more stubborn and persistent in his sin, then it is not right to forsake him, because nothing is achieved by doing so. Forsaking him will only make matters worse, so the right thing to do is to continue treating him kindly, and advising and reminding him.

In conclusion, this is what Allaah has enabled me to write about the prohibitions that are widely ignored. This is a lengthy topic, and in order that readers may further benefit, another chapter is needed, in which a group of prohibitions mentioned in the Qur'aan and Sunnah will be listed. This will appear as a separate work, in sha Allaah. I ask Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, by His Most Beautiful Names, to give us enough awareness and fear of Him to keep us away from sin, and enough devotion and obedience to Him to help us reach His Paradise, to forgive us for our sins and by His grace to make us content with what He has permitted and keep us away from what He has forbidden. May He accept our repentance and cleanse us from sin, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers. May the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon the Unlettered Prophet, Muhammad, and upon all his family and companions. All praise be to Allaah, Lord of the Worlds.

Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid
P.O. Box 2999
Al-Khobar
Saudi Arabiaa

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/books/10
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