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Tanya Khan
10-11-2010, 02:13 PM
Sorry I know I’ve posted about Istikhara before. I have another question. How would I pray istikhara if I wana do it regarding TWO people, is that possible?

With one of them I have no feelings but I’m desperate to get married and I’m thinking that if he is the ‘right’ one after istikhara then I should just go ahead and marry him. The other one… well lets not go there.
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-12-2010, 12:50 PM
:sl:
go with the one who is pious, good character, and one you feel you are most compatible with.

go with the one who is for your best interests in this dunya and aakhira.

pray istikhara and take it from there.

may allah grant you a good husband and a happy marriage.
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Tanya Khan
10-12-2010, 12:59 PM
Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
go with the one who is pious, good character, and one you feel you are most compatible with.

go with the one who is for your best interests in this dunya and aakhira.

pray istikhara and take it from there.

may allah grant you a good husband and a happy marriage.

Ameen. Shukran :D
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Alpha Dude
10-12-2010, 01:17 PM
Salam

Sister, you should be aware that you can only do istikhara regarding one issue per salah/namaz.

It is also wrong to be considering two people at the same time. You should consider the first person that proposed to you, do istikarah for him and not consider anyone else until you are certain you do not want to be with him (then consider the other guy's proposal). That is the proper approach. :)
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Cabdullahi
10-12-2010, 01:55 PM
Reach into your pockets pull out 1 pence and flick it just flick it!.....if it lands on tails its MR A, if it lands on heads its MR B

Im' kidding ....Dont you feel drawn to one of them? if so do istikhara and see

All the best Insha'Allah
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Tanya Khan
10-13-2010, 10:28 AM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
Reach into your pockets pull out 1 pence and flick it just flick it!.....if it lands on tails its MR A, if it lands on heads its MR B

Im' kidding ....Dont you feel drawn to one of them? if so do istikhara and see

All the best Insha'Allah
I feel more drawn to one more than the other. I've decided I'm not going to do Istikhara re. Mr A because I have no feelings for him whatsoever, not an inch, don't feel anything nothing zilch.

Mr B however, I've never met him, been talking to him on the phone now for 3 months and I'm so attached so into him. When we don't speak my heart aches for him I think I have fallen in love with him. I can't concentrate at work when I don't speak to him.

But, yes there is a big BUT, he has a child (5 yrs old) from a previous marriage and I am not so sure I can deal with a ready made family. imsad
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Cabdullahi
10-13-2010, 12:20 PM
Originally Posted by Tanya Khan
I feel more drawn to one more than the other. I've decided I'm not going to do Istikhara re. Mr A because I have no feelings for him whatsoever, not an inch, don't feel anything nothing zilch.

Mr B however, I've never met him, been talking to him on the phone now for 3 months and I'm so attached so into him. When we don't speak my heart aches for him I think I have fallen in love with him. I can't concentrate at work when I don't speak to him.

But, yes there is a big BUT, he has a child (5 yrs old) from a previous marriage and I am not so sure I can deal with a ready made family. imsad

You've already made your mind.....poor MR A though :( he's going to get exterminated :( :(....for all we know he could be sat somewhere with his friends saying...im going to marry this woman called tanya...i have it under wraps!!...its a done deal!...yeah!
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Muslim Woman
10-13-2010, 12:30 PM
Salaam

Originally Posted by Tanya Khan
... been talking to him on the phone now for 3 months
I guess , it's not allowed in Islam for talking to opposite sex like this for long 3 months . In presence of guardian , may be u can talk once or twice but 3 months ???

Talk to a mufti about the ruling pl. .

Even if u want to marry this person, offer Istekhara. May Allah bless u with a pious husband . BTW if a man is pious , there is nothing wrong if he had a child but still offer Istekhara to make sure that Allah grants what is best for u .
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Insaanah
10-13-2010, 12:44 PM
Originally Posted by Bedouin
It is also wrong to be considering two people at the same time. You should consider the first person that proposed to you, do istikarah for him and not consider anyone else until you are certain you do not want to be with him (then consider the other guy's proposal). That is the proper approach. :)
:sl:

Just to clarify:

"The Prophet :saws: said : "It is not allowed for a man to make a proposal against his brothers proposal until he marries the woman or gives her up." (Saheeh Muslim, Book 8, Chap 6, 3294).

This hadeeth is greatly understood by many. They think that if a man proposes to a woman, she cannot be proposed to by any other man, nor has she the right to think about any other man until she gives her response to the first man. This is wrong. She can be proposed to by more than one man, and then choose whichever of them she prefers. What is not allowed is for a man to propose to a woman after she was proposed to by someone else and had accepted the other persons proposal.

If sisters are forced to choose one at a time, that means they have to decide about one man without knowing who else might be interested. She might choose one man thinking he's the only one interested when in fact someone better was waiting. Or she might reject the first one, and see others and then realise that the first one was best. So as long as she has not accepted anyone's proposal, more than one can propose at the same time and she has the right to see them all before making a decision.

This is supported by the following hadeeth:

When Fatima Bint Qais told the Prophet :saws: that she had finished her waiting period, the Prophet :saws: told her that Mu'aawiyah and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. After mentioning the weaknesses of both of them, he suggested she marry Usaamah instead. (Saheeh Muslim, book 9, 3527)

In this example, the Prophet did not inform her of one man and then say that she must make up her mind (yes or no) concerning one man before any other man could speak to her."

(Extracted from source: The Fiqh of Family, Marriage and Divorce, by Jamal Zarabozo, The American Open University, 1997)

But I agree that Salaatul Istikhaarah should only be performed for one at a time, starting with the one you feel is the most pious/compatible/suitable for you.

And Allah knows best.

:sl:
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Tanya Khan
10-13-2010, 02:55 PM
Is it possible to perform isitkhara regarding someone I've never met?
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Muslim Woman
10-13-2010, 04:14 PM
Salaam

To my knowledge - yes .
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