format_quote Originally Posted by
Bedouin
It is also wrong to be considering two people at the same time. You should consider the first person that proposed to you, do istikarah for him and not consider anyone else until you are certain you do not want to be with him (then consider the other guy's proposal). That is the proper approach. :)
:sl:
Just to clarify:
"The Prophet :saws: said : "It is not allowed for a man to make a proposal against his brothers proposal until he marries the woman or gives her up." (Saheeh Muslim, Book 8, Chap 6, 3294).
This hadeeth is greatly understood by many. They think that if a man proposes to a woman, she cannot be proposed to by any other man, nor has she the right to think about any other man until she gives her response to the first man. This is wrong. She can be proposed to by more than one man, and then choose whichever of them she prefers. What is not allowed is for a man to propose to a woman after she was proposed to by someone else
and had accepted the other persons proposal.
If sisters are forced to choose one at a time, that means they have to decide about one man without knowing who else might be interested. She might choose one man thinking he's the only one interested when in fact someone better was waiting. Or she might reject the first one, and see others and then realise that the first one was best. So as long as she has not accepted anyone's proposal, more than one can propose at the same time and she has the right to see them all before making a decision.
This is supported by the following hadeeth:
When Fatima Bint Qais told the Prophet :saws: that she had finished her waiting period, the Prophet :saws: told her that Mu'aawiyah and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. After mentioning the weaknesses of both of them, he suggested she marry Usaamah instead. (Saheeh Muslim, book 9, 3527)
In this example, the Prophet did not inform her of one man and then say that she must make up her mind (yes or no) concerning one man before any other man could speak to her."
(Extracted from source: The Fiqh of Family, Marriage and Divorce, by Jamal Zarabozo, The American Open University, 1997)
But I agree that Salaatul Istikhaarah should only be performed for one at a time, starting with the one you feel is the most pious/compatible/suitable for you.
And Allah knows best.
:sl: