Dangers of facebook.

[innocent]

Does your 13-14 year old daughter have a facebook account?
Does she have lots of males on her friends list?
Do they make innappropriate comments when she posts her provocative pictures without hijab and wearing tight clothing and make up.
Does she like it when they do?
Do they give her gifts?

I recently came across my daughters facebook account which she had forgotten to sign out of and I decided to look at what she gets up to. I didnt really find anything incriminating on her part but one of the friends she has on there is my older cousins daughter aged 13. These cousins of mine are very strict religious long beard do hajj umra and all their daughters wear hijab etc. This particular girl also wears hijab but I was shocked to find that her father would have to answer YES to all my questions above and this made me very sad and if he knew I dont what he would do.

Obviously I cant say anything to them but I am posting this to make everyone aware that they should keep a close eye on their childrens facebook activities and regularly check their accounts for this type of behaviour. No matter how pious they come across there is nothing wrong with keeping a check. The internet is full of shaytan.
May Allah make all our children good and pious.
JazakAllah khair.

[distressed]

Salaam

at 13 they shouldnt really have facebook anyway. I understand what you mean tho, most of my "so called friends" pious on the outside, but get them on FB and there different people. Its easy to get led astray on these type of social networking things, from what ive seen the asian guys use it to perv on girls, often making inappropraite cringing comments and the girls seem to love it ? thrive on it even ?

by the way, has your daugher got restricted privacy settings ?? so only her friends can view her profile ? otherwise shes gona get all sorts of dodgy loons looking at her profile.

D

[Beardo]

My parents have access to my account. They check it probably every day.

Yet, they think I don't know that. That's the only part that bothers me. Anyhow, I let them believe I'm unaware of it. I have nothing to hide.

[tango92]

My parents have access to my account. They check it probably every day.

Yet, they think I don't know that. That's the only part that bothers me. Anyhow, I let them believe I'm unaware of it. I have nothing to hide.

my mother has dificulty getting to grips with double clicking so im safe :statisfie:

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[Beardo]

Do they check your forum posts too here? They must have missed your posts in the mods room.

I think they stopped that, since it's harder to track my forum posts. :P

Fortunately, they only have access to my posts outside of the staff rooms. x]

my mother has dificulty getting to grips with double clicking so im safe :statisfie:

You're in luck. >_> But enjoy while you can. They catch on quite fast.

Really though, if you use it wisely, facebook can prove beneficial as well. Especially nowadays, schools actually REQUIRE it, mainly because they assume you're already on it.

Though, intentions do change. My initial intention of opening my FB was for advertising the Jannah Network. Boy, has that changed or what...

I feel it's important to have a social life. In addition to my drivers' license, it's helped me build back a social life and come out of that hermit's shell. At a halal level, I hope.

[PouringRain]

Obviously I cant say anything to them.

I don't understand why you couldn't say anything to them.

If someone had seen or heard my daughter doing inappropriate things, I would want that person to come and tell me so that I could discuss things with my daughter about improper and proper behavior, and to hopefully prevent even worse behaviors.

Couldn't it be done in an innocent way? Such as going to them and saying casually, "Oh, I saw your daughter has a facebook account. Have you seen it?" Then allow them to see it on their own, without you accusing their daughter of anything or without you seeming to be passing any judgment on their daughter.

[Cabdullahi]

I don't understand why you couldn't say anything to them.

If someone had seen or heard my daughter doing inappropriate things, I would want that person to come and tell me so that I could discuss things with my daughter about improper and proper behavior, and to hopefully prevent even worse behaviors.

Couldn't it be done in an innocent way? Such as going to them and saying casually, "Oh, I saw your daughter has a facebook account. Have you seen it?" Then allow them to see it on their own, without you accusing their daughter of anything or without you seeming to be passing any judgment on their daughter.

innocent thats not innocent !!....they might whip her....do you think the parents reaction would be like...'' dear daughter i saw your facebook account and I've seen all the pictures...i feel saddened and shocked , so as a punishment we decided to give you time out...5 minutes in your room GO!.''

i think the best way to go about this is to speak to the girl and explain why the things she does are wrong in a nice,polite manner.....in that way she'll avoid the whippings and the beatings

[S.Belle]

i think the best way to go about this is to speak to the girl and explain why the things she does are wrong in a nice,polite manner.....in that way she'll avoid the whippings and the beatings

Is it even permissible to spank your kids in Islam??
I remember reading a hadith that said a good muslim or (true believer) is one that who's hand and tongue are safe from other muslims.

I think you should say something (to the girl or her parents).... because it may get worse than what it is.

[tw009]

one thing I hate about facebook is when your friends think its okay to post your pictures and make countless albums without even asking permission!! :raging:

[Amoeba]

Aren't there laws against people posting your pictures publicly without your permission? Or did I only dream that... :confused:

[S_87]

one thing I hate about facebook is when your friends think its okay to post your pictures and make countless albums without even asking permission!! :raging:

well to be honest once someone else has taken your photo, you dont know WHO will see it...its best not to let people take photos. Just two days ago i saw a friends wedding photos, it wasnt strictly women but at the time from what i saw only women around but there were women with their niqabs pulled up on head ready to be pulled down if men came in the hall...too bad the pics are all over a few facebook accounts.

im not 13/14 but have many family members on my facebook, not parents but uncle/aunt lol..though my husband doesnt approve :hiding: you can never be too careful. but then i dont accept random people either

[PouringRain]

innocent thats not innocent !!....they might whip her....do you think the parents reaction would be like...'' dear daughter i saw your facebook account and I've seen all the pictures...i feel saddened and shocked , so as a punishment we decided to give you time out...5 minutes in your room GO!.''

i think the best way to go about this is to speak to the girl and explain why the things she does are wrong in a nice,polite manner.....in that way she'll avoid the whippings and the beatings

To be honest, the thought of the parents whipping and beating the child never even crossed my mind when I asked that. That type of behavior from parents is not common where I come from, nor acceptable, and is rare-- so it is not something my mind generally goes to.

If I knew the parents were abusing their child, then no, I would not speak directly to the parent about their daughter's behavior. I would speak to the child about her own behavior, and I would also caution her about how she knows her parents will react if they discover it. If I knew a child was being whipped and beaten, to be honest, I'd call the authorities on the parents. You can criticize or hate me for that, but a child should never be abused. (Nor should an adult. I would just as quickly call the authorities on an adult if I knew they were abusing another adult.)

[Cabdullahi]

To be honest, the thought of the parents whipping and beating the child never even crossed my mind when I asked that. That type of behavior from parents is not common where I come from, nor acceptable, and is rare-- so it is not something my mind generally goes to.

If I knew the parents were abusing their child, then no, I would not speak directly to the parent about their daughter's behavior. I would speak to the child about her own behavior, and I would also caution her about how she knows her parents will react if they discover it. If I knew a child was being whipped and beaten, to be honest, I'd call the authorities on the parents. You can criticize or hate me for that, but a child should never be abused. (Nor should an adult. I would just as quickly call the authorities on an adult if I knew they were abusing another adult.)

are you sure they dont whip kids in Alabama?.....

[Insecured soul]

i guess i would recommend everyone not to use facebook, i dont know personally i never had islamic friends there, and facebook is all about socializing unislamic way, it is filled with stupidity

i closed my facebook account recently but still ur personal data is stored on thier server, for people who say its just to stay in touch i think email fills that purpose quite good.

walaikum assalam

[Mabrouka]

Assalamualakum.

JazakAllah khair dear sister in Islam for posting and informing on such a very delicate subject. Firsty Bara Allahu Feek on giving advice on being aware of what young children are doing or saying on the social network facebook. Secndy about your older cousins daughther I sincerely think you should confront the girl herself and wisely advice her and tell.

May Allah almighty guide every sould towards the righteous path and fill all Muslim hearts with nour and righteousness and keep them away from evil or wrong and make them do say act think in a manner that pleases only You sweet almighty Allah.


Assalamualakum.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

im not on facebook, but sometimes when i Google search i will click on something that is linked to facebook and see all these comments from women without a hijab...its really saddening :(

[Innocent Soul]

Assalamualaikum

I too have a facebook account but I don't have unknown friends and never talk to anyone except my friends who are not in my country.The privacy settings are really good there.There are many Islamic groups which post hadiths, I like them.I don't do facebook much as I am on this forums.Te person who has a facebook account should be careful about friend list.

May Allah almighty guide every sould towards the righteous path and fill all Muslim hearts with nour and righteousness and keep them away from evil or wrong and make them do say act think in a manner that pleases only You sweet almighty Allah

Ameen :)

[CosmicPathos]

Is it even permissible to spank your kids in Islam??
I remember reading a hadith that said a good muslim or (true believer) is one that who's hand and tongue are safe from other muslims.

I think you should say something (to the girl or her parents).... because it may get worse than what it is.

Islam does not say anything about that. Ofcourse whipping any human is bad. Thats more a humanistic nature, rather than Islamic view. Islam is more related to spirituality and how to overcome sins.

If I remember, Umar (ra) lashed his son for drinking alcohol till his son died. What does that tell you

[PouringRain]

are you sure they dont whip kids in Alabama?.....

I wouldn't know. I am not from there. :) I have never lived there either.

I did once know a family who lived there, and we visited them, but no, they did not whip their kids. Of course, they were not originally from there either. We had been neighbors with them in another state years earlier.

[innocent]

Her oldest sister is not a lot younger than me. I might approach her if i can get round there inshaAllah. They live about an hour away and I dont have a car so I dont know when I'll be able to.

[Asiyah3]

Islam does not say anything about that. Ofcourse whipping any human is bad. Thats more a humanistic nature, rather than Islamic view. Islam is more related to spirituality and how to overcome sins.

:sl:
As a Muslim, I would still keep the following Hadiths in mind. And hitting the face is always forbidden.:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is Kind and loves kindness, and He rewards for kindness in a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.” Narrated by Muslim (2593).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.” Narrated by Muslim (2592).

If I remember, Umar (ra) lashed his son for drinking alcohol till his son died. What does that tell you

Umar's son (ra) was lashed as a punishment for his crime of drinking alcohol, not for discipline.

From my observation, most of those merciless people, who brutally beat their kids, beat them for worldly things. They smack their kids when they don't obey them like when the kids don't agree to sleep, misbehave (example break something) and cause trouble. Except for those whom Allah has mercy on, not for their deen.

[أحمد]

:sl:

Speak to her elder siblings; if they can block facebook via either parental controls or a hardware firewall, its a much better early step towards sorting out such a problem.

:wa:

[S.Belle]

If I remember, Umar (ra) lashed his son for drinking alcohol till his son died. What does that tell you

yea because that is the punishment for drinking acohol

im talking about spanking your kid for like tantrums or if they misbehave is it permissible....It seems like it wouldnt be..idk

[Abu'l Qa'qaa']

I think that facebook has completely redrawn the lines of Hayaa, as brother Nouman ali khan put it so well. Personally i left after the whole "Draw Prophet Muhammed :saw:" day. I didn't find much benefit in it except linking up with my old (non-muslim) classmates, but otherwise it was a waste of time and plenty of fitna on there... Even though i didn't accept friend requests from females.

[islamaholic™]

Aren't there laws against people posting your pictures publicly without your permission? Or did I only dream that... :confused:

Yeah but no one ever calls the police over a facebook photo. The **** cops will hang up.

[islamaholic™]

lol, is the word d-a-m-n sensored on here? haha, how awesome.

[أحمد]

:sl:

Aren't there laws against people posting your pictures publicly without your permission? Or did I only dream that... :confused:

By the time any action is taken, the pictures would have been circulated over many channels over the web. Its best not to give or let non family have any possession of photos.

:wa:

[Amoeba]

:sl:



By the time any action is taken, the pictures would have been circulated over many channels over the web. Its best not to give or let non family have any possession of photos.

:wa:

I'm not saying it's any excuse to let people take or have photos of you, I'm just saying if it's already happened is there a legal way to stop it?

Some pictures don't get circulated very quickly, especially if they're not particularly eye-catching or the page doesn't get very much traffic. So if it does get removed, then there is a good chance in some cases that there aren't any more.

[serena77]

Salaam/peace to all
just a side note - i didnt sign up for facebook until a short time ago ... and i've had no known problems on there, but there is something new w/ facebook where they do publish your phone numbers at times. I can't find mine so i may be safe, but i followed how someone said to see and more than half my facebook friends had their phone numbers listed... and you can get all sorts of info off your phone number, just something that anyone and especially w/ kids w/ facebook accounts may want to be wary of.

Serena

[أحمد]

:sl:

I'm not saying it's any excuse to let people take or have photos of you, I'm just saying if it's already happened is there a legal way to stop it?

Some pictures don't get circulated very quickly, especially if they're not particularly eye-catching or the page doesn't get very much traffic. So if it does get removed, then there is a good chance in some cases that there aren't any more.

Contact the facebook administration; let them know exactly what the problem is, and leave the rest to them. In many circumstances they are legally required to assist you in any matter relating to privacy.

:wa: