Can't reply to existing thread, so I'm making a new one about parents and adoption

[Amoeba]

Yeah, far from preventing multiple threads on the same topic. Don't blame me, I didn't make the rules that say I'm not allowed to reply to threads in this particular forum...

Anyway in the thread "Am I sinning?" I didn't understand the answers provided so I needed clarification.

In the answers it says that when it comes to adoptive fathers, he can only be assumed as a mahram if the daughter has breastfed from one of his close blood female relatives, otherwise she has to wear hijab around him.

Also with regards to calling or regarding anyone else other than your birth father your dad, ""This is clearly stating the emphatic prohibition of claiming to belong to anyone other than one's real father… because this involves ingratitude and a denial of the rights of inheritance, as well as cutting family ties and undutifulness to parents." (al-Nawawi's statement ends)"

What exactly does it mean by denial of the rights of inheritance? Does the father have the right to inherit something from their child? What about ingratitude... what if the father (and the mother would be a guilty party too) had the child out of a simple one-night of physical pleasure, with no intent to have a child, and then the father (not the mother) rejected the child or refused to support the child, leaving it in poverty, does the child still need to be grateful to the father for his careless and irresponsible behaviour? Surely only Allah should be thanked in this case for the child's existence? As for cutting family ties, what if the child is still in contact with the rest of the father's family, and just not the father?

I'm asking this because I'm not sure if I'm doing wrong by regarding my primary male childhood carer as step-dad. These points apply to me, my real dad never wanted to care for me and never paid for my upkeep, I was an accidental conception that my dad did not take responsibility for, and I always saw my granny and granddad (dad's parents) every weekend and knew who my real dad was. I always called him dad, and my male carer by his first name. I know that so far this is okay.

But where I'm unsure is when I talk to people I might refer to him as "my step-dad" or something. Is this wrong to do? Also, Since as far back as I can remember I have always had my mother's second name, not my real dad's. My real dad's is on my birth certificate but I use it so little, if someone asks my full name I automatically blurt out or write my mother's second name. I don't think about it. Is this also wrong to do?

Also about this is there any ruling about non-muslims? All of my blood family are non-muslim, and non-religious. Is my blood father still a mahram in this case? We have been in touch lately but it seems I'm the only one making any effort, I guess because I want to have at least one mahram (aside from him I have no mahram at all) and I at least want a good relationship with both parents, rather than only one of them. He acts all lovey dovey wanting a second chance with me when I contact him, but he never attempts to contact me. I know this is unrelated, but do you think it's worth my while? Especially since he's expressed his hatred for religion? (last time I spoke to him was months ago and I hadn't considered reverting to islam at that time yet).

Also, with regards to nikah must I ask his permission first, since he is my father and I have to have the consent of both parents?

[Muhaba]

I heard a hadith, you'd want to consult a scholar since i am unaware of its authenticity or even where it was reported. the hadith states that a boy's father came to the Prophet (SAW) and complained that the boy didn't care about him. The Prophet SAW asked the boy and the boy said that he had three rights on the father which the father hadn't fulfilled, that the father should give name him, that the father should feed him, and i don't remember the third. since the father hadn't fulfilled his obligations, it was stated that the father didn't have any rights on the child. I hope that answers your question in paragraph 3. however, i still don't know if that means the father doesn't have inheritance rights. It's better to ask a proper scholar.

[Amoeba]

I don't have any access to a scholar, but thanks for your input on the point on care. :) Ill see who I can as about it. But as I said, I don't even know how to find a scholar, it's notoriously difficult to find a scholar at the masjids around here if you're a woman and don't know any males who can ask on your behalf.

[Yanal]

:sl:

Perhaps if you ask around or search online you may be able to find a scholar with the will of Allaah,insha'Allaah?

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[Amoeba]

I've only been able to find those Q&A sites or ask a scholar sites and they question submissions are pretty much always closed. Sometimes I find the answers by searching if it's a more general question but in this case I can't find anything specific to my situation.