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~ Sabr ~
10-29-2010, 11:37 AM
Salaam

Have any of you lived with your parents after marriage, and they restrict you from going out together for a nice evening meal with your husband?

I'm getting sick of everyday restrictions, and I haven't got the money to move out yet.

What can one do in this case? :heated:
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distressed
10-29-2010, 11:51 AM
:sl:

I dont understand ? Why are restrictions put on you if your married ?

D
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Darth Ultor
10-29-2010, 12:20 PM
When you have enough money, why don't you two rent or buy your own house?
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~ Sabr ~
10-29-2010, 12:35 PM
That could be a good couple of years. My husband has just moved to UK recently from abroad and knows little English. It will take time for him to learn English and get a decent job.
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Woodrow
10-29-2010, 12:36 PM
:sl:

Just a thought:

When one lives under the roof of another they are obligated to follow the rules of the house as long as they are halal. Look at this as an opportunity to save money, not spent by going out. Use those savings for you and your husband to afford to move out in dignity.
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Asiyah3
10-29-2010, 12:40 PM
Talk to your parents about this.

Originally Posted by Boaz
When you have enough money, why don't you two rent or buy your own house?
I agree .
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~ Sabr ~
10-29-2010, 01:05 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
:sl:

Just a thought:

When one lives under the roof of another they are obligated to follow the rules of the house as long as they are halal. Look at this as an opportunity to save money, not spent by going out. Use those savings for you and your husband to afford to move out in dignity.
Yes brother, but there is a limit to my patience. I have had this over-protectiveness all my life, and to be honest I am getting tired of it.
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S.Belle
10-29-2010, 03:44 PM
Did you just get married?
If so maybe they still feel the need to overprotect you.

Just sit and talk to you parents (in a respectful way of course) about how you are married and would like to have sometime with your husband.
If they say money is the issue or you are saving for your own place than have a picnic at the park or go somewhere were you dont need to spend money maybe your parents could even come along and all of you could have a nice time together so no one feels isolated.
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Muhaba
10-29-2010, 04:09 PM
come and go as you wish. You're married and can do whatever is islamically allowed, without getting your parents' permission. So even if they tell you not to go, don't listen without arguing. (You might want to go out in a way so they won't notice you're leaving.) Then when you come back and they ask why you went out, you can say, "Umm, i'm married." Eventually they will get used to it.
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Darth Ultor
10-30-2010, 02:58 AM
Do you have a job, may I ask? If you do, save up the money. Your husband can learn English and get a job as well. Believe me when I say learning English is easier than English speakers learning another language like Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, etc.
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Cabdullahi
11-06-2010, 11:19 AM
you dont need to go out somewhere to have an evening meal...you spoke about saving up money....stay inside and have a home evening meal and money is saved

and the parents are happy
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Muhammad
11-06-2010, 11:40 AM
Assalaamu Alaykum,
Originally Posted by muhaba
come and go as you wish. You're married and can do whatever is islamically allowed, without getting your parents' permission. So even if they tell you not to go, don't listen without arguing. (You might want to go out in a way so they won't notice you're leaving.) Then when you come back and they ask why you went out, you can say, "Umm, i'm married." Eventually they will get used to it.
With respect, I don't think this is a good idea. A person has to respond to the situation with wisdom and patience. If parents are treated in the above way, it will most likely lead to a great deal of anger and family problems. Remember that in different cultures, the family dynamics work in different ways. Even if the parents are wrong, you need to find a solution that won't make things worse. So avoid acting out of anger or frustration and think things through carefully.

Always seek Allaah (swt)'s help and ask Him to give you strength and patience. May Allaah (swt) make it easy for you, Aameen.
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Adem Al-Albani
11-06-2010, 11:53 AM
Their house, their rules.

Until you can get out, just be patient inshaaAllah.

Also, everytime you make them happy, it's Ajr for you, so rack up on that Ajr now while you still can.

May Allah make it easy for you guys because I know it isn't.
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tigerkhan
11-06-2010, 01:32 PM
Originally Posted by Muhammad
With respect, I don't think this is a good idea. A person has to respond to the situation with wisdom and patience. If parents are treated in the above way, it will most likely lead to a great deal of anger and family problems. Remember that in different cultures, the family dynamics work in different ways. Even if the parents are wrong, you need to find a solution that won't make things worse. So avoid acting out of anger or frustration and think things through carefully.

Always seek Allaah (swt)'s help and ask Him to give you strength and patience. May Allaah (swt) make it easy for you, Aameen.
agreed.................
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