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Danibcs
11-01-2010, 11:14 AM
AOA All Members,

I wanted to shared my problem regarding my younger brother 21 year old. He is in university and doing par-time job. I have came to know while searching for some data in his computer in the home that he is watching some porn movies and clips downloaded from internet. It was a shock for me. Our father has died 9 year back and since then I have tried to tell him good and bads of the life but i guess i am not so successful in this after seeing his act. He is also not so healthy and very inter-owed type personality. Lack of self confidence and not aware of hi future plans and goals.

I want a sincier advice that how should i handle this problem and how should i guide him so that he can stop his wrong and unhealthy activites and start concentrating on his studies and future career path. Also how to moblize him to become more social and most importantly how to bring him towards the basic practices of Din Islam.

Best Regards
Dani.
Pakistan.
Reply

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marwen
11-01-2010, 06:28 PM
As a first step, I think you should not tell him directly that you know about his sins. At the age of 21, I don't think it's really wise to show him directly his mistakes, because he will feel humiliated and may be he will not want to talk to you.
You have to make him change his ideas and his behaviors indirectly. You can make him listen to a lecture of a scholar, or give him general hints about how a muslim should be, but never let him know that you're addressing him directly. And I think he will stop doing these sins by himself.
You should also make sincere dua for him. because guidance is only by the hands of Allah.

A second step is to try to accompany him and hang out with him sometimes. You know that company is really important in changing one's behavior. May be he is following a bad company. So you can talk to him sometimes, be with him and try to make him think about good things and try to influence him. May be he could go to mosque with you, or go to islamic lectures/lessons with you.

A third step, if all the above didn't work, is to confront him and tell him directly that you know about what he is doing and convince him to stop doing it. If it doesn't work, may be you can involve some trusted member of the family that can influence him.
Reply

Muhaba
11-01-2010, 09:05 PM
i agree that you should try to take him to islamic lectures, even ones that might warn against such things as hanging out with non-mahram women, watching porn, and anything else that can make a person commit zina. Fear of Allah and Islamic knowledge as well as company of good muslims will make him stop from such sins.
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Tilmeez
11-02-2010, 01:44 AM
Waalaikum Assalam,

In addition to what akhee marwen has said, try putting him more into physical activities. You can make him join a health club or any other gym where they teach Martial Arts or Yoga etc. If not possible make him do morning and night walks.

I don't know how practicing you are. If its really matter of concern then get up early in Fajr and make him up with you and go to mosque together. For this you will have to get him go to bed early. You may get resistance as he is grown up and has his own preferences. You will have to do this with Hikmah so that he does not rebel.

Discuss current affairs and ask him to read news papers. Watch TV debates or any other common talk shows and ask him to analyse the overall situation. You may ask him to write up something....Give him some General Books to read; These may include some reference to his subjects in Uni. Also tell him his purpose of life in world. Anything/dream your father left unaccomplished can also be used to motivate him.

I will pray for you and your brother that Allah SWT guide him to the right path, along with us all, Inshallah.
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Rafeeq
11-02-2010, 05:33 AM
In addition to Akhee marwan and Akhee Tilmeez, I suggest you to spend more time with him. You may go for walk togather. Let him write some analytical report on which talk show host is driving his show better and what are the good points of that show. Let him investigate some issues on internet given by you like the HARRAPA's (texila) civilization and request him that you need this for some one in your office etc. You may request him to visit islamicboard and participate in discussion forums.
Reply

Danibcs
02-25-2011, 03:23 PM
Asslam O Alikum,

I am once again here seeking guidance regarding my younger brother issue.
Things are not getting well, He is not listing to anyone and seems to be very careless about him and others in home even mother. I saw him smoking and I had shouted on him asking him to stay away of this act but he is not promising and saying openly that he will try means he is not doing it at once. Also I have seen his text messages to the girls which are immoral. Mother is very much worried as he used to talk disgracefully about me in front of her.

It seems he is trying to make me hyper intentionally and want me or mother to a point of confrontation where i may take some serious step. I really do not know how to handle this situation. Please pray for him and me. And also guide me what should i do.

Waslaaam
Reply

tigerkhan
02-26-2011, 10:51 AM
asalamolikum
i suggest u be patience. since he is 21 so dont take any serious step. be friendly with him. we all have shortcomings. no1 is perfect. so what u are responsible islamically, teach and make dawa to him in soft manner. and pray for him, bcz hidayyat is in hands of Allah SWT.
if i ask u a question, does he pray salat............. if he dont then first u tell him about the importance and virtues of salat, when he used to pray salat, his mind and heart will be clean from such evil thinking and effect.
ALLAH SWT helps u in this matter and make all things easy for U. ameeen.
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gladTidings
02-26-2011, 11:18 AM
I agree with bro. tigerkhan...use a gentle approach and try to befriend him before trying to guide him. He will be more willing to listen. If you can't help him then choose some practicing friends to be in his company. The company you keep can have an incredible effect on your thoughts and actions. Finally, only Allah swt can ultimately guide him towards good, so make dua'a for him..... you don't want to completely lose him =(
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Ansariyah
02-26-2011, 05:55 PM
Make dua for him.
Reply

Salahudeen
02-26-2011, 06:08 PM
What kind of friends does your brother have? Many times in situations like this, the person is not the only 1 in his group of friends that are doing this stuff that is why it's very important you have good friends who don't encourage you in this stuff. Also since you're father passed away has your mother been disciplining him properly? Many times when children grow up without a father the mother does not apply appropriate discipline to the child cos of her soft nature. So the child will do whatever he wants because he knows he can get away with it cos there's no father.

Is there not an older uncle or male figure that he looks upto and respects that can guide him to the correct thing?
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Hamza Asadullah
03-03-2011, 01:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Danibcs
AOA All Members,

I wanted to shared my problem regarding my younger brother 21 year old. He is in university and doing par-time job. I have came to know while searching for some data in his computer in the home that he is watching some porn movies and clips downloaded from internet. It was a shock for me. Our father has died 9 year back and since then I have tried to tell him good and bads of the life but i guess i am not so successful in this after seeing his act. He is also not so healthy and very inter-owed type personality. Lack of self confidence and not aware of hi future plans and goals.

I want a sincier advice that how should i handle this problem and how should i guide him so that he can stop his wrong and unhealthy activites and start concentrating on his studies and future career path. Also how to moblize him to become more social and most importantly how to bring him towards the basic practices of Din Islam.

Best Regards
Dani.
Pakistan.

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayran for sharing your issues with us. You being his elder brother will have a lot of influence on him and so you should try and be a good role model to him. You should not try to be-little him or attack him in anyway but you should help and support him and be there for him. Try to establish a brotherly relationship with him but as an elder brother who he can feel he can go to for help and advice whenever he needs it.

The following are tips for you with regards to your younger brother:

1. Establish a close bond with him as his elder brother who he can feel he can go to for help and advice as well as comfort. He needs to feel he can share his feelings with you so that you can get to the bottom of his issues and problems

2. Encourage your brother to pray Salaah by taking him to the Masjid whenever you can for Salaah and beneficial talks etc as that way he can eventually meet good brothers who he can then hang around with and keep as company. Emphasise the importance of Salaah and why we must pray it and the consequances of not praying it.

3. Join short Islamic courses with him as knowledge is very important and will do a lot in getting a person closer to his deen.

4. Take him to the gym with you and to play sports with your friends as this way he will gain more confidence and will get out of the lazy routine he is in now.

5. When you are with im at home then try to put on Islamic lectures on the TV whilst he is sitting there.

6. A wonderful habit not only for your brother but for yourself and the rest of your family is to do daily taleem which is to read a little bit each day or a few times a week for even 15 minutes at a time from a beneficial book like Riyaadusaaliheen or books of Sheikh Mufti Taqi Uthmani etc in front of the family or when the family are sitting around together. This will have an amazing impact as angels descend to those places where Allah is being talked about or remembered for those gatherings are blessed and this will have an amazing impact on your family life as well as increasing Barakah in your home.

7. Leave some beneficial books around areas in the house where you know he is likely to pick it up and read it. These books should focus on death and the hereafter for that will strike reality into his heart and death is an awakener to reality.

8. Try to talk about the greatness of Allah to him often as this will encourage more remembrance of Allah and those places where Allah is being remembered are blessed so he is likely to gain the benefits of these blessings.

9. Encourage him to make something of himself in life by using wisdom and tact. Make him realise his purpose and that he should focus on investing as much as he can on the hereafter before death overtakes him and to also make something of himself in this life so that he can gain reward and blessings and be able to look after his family in the future. He should also be encouraged to make something of himself so that he can get married as soon as is possible because he is at the age where desires are very strong and he is currently using porn to indulge in his desires rather than to do it the halal way. So he should be given incentives to do things or to get things done.

10. Make much dua for him and do not get frustrated with him if he does not change. We can ONLY inform others for Allah guides. Give him dawah here and there not everyday as telling someone too much of something will not have good results rather it will go in one ear and come out of the other. Do not force him to do things but encourage him in a way that he will see the benefits by doing so.

May Allah guide your brother towards deen and give you and your family the best of this world and the next. Ameen

And Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-03-2011, 01:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Danibcs
AOA All Members,

I wanted to shared my problem regarding my younger brother 21 year old. He is in university and doing par-time job. I have came to know while searching for some data in his computer in the home that he is watching some porn movies and clips downloaded from internet. It was a shock for me. Our father has died 9 year back and since then I have tried to tell him good and bads of the life but i guess i am not so successful in this after seeing his act. He is also not so healthy and very inter-owed type personality. Lack of self confidence and not aware of hi future plans and goals.

I want a sincier advice that how should i handle this problem and how should i guide him so that he can stop his wrong and unhealthy activites and start concentrating on his studies and future career path. Also how to moblize him to become more social and most importantly how to bring him towards the basic practices of Din Islam.

Best Regards
Dani.
Pakistan.
Asalaamu Alaikum, also send him the following article which also contains beneficial links of lectures to do with the hereafter. it will be of benefit to him inshallah:

Asalaamu Alaikum, My brother there are many distractions in this life which deter us away from reality. Shaythan is always wanting to divert our attention and focus away from our real purpose in life. He uses TV, video games, the opposite sex, money, power etc to put us off from worshipping Allah and forgetting the purpose of our life and why we are here.

Therefore we have to continuously remind ourselves as to why we are here and what is our REAL purpose is on this earth. Have we been created to study, work, get married, have kids and then die? Well you could say that this is part of what we have to do in our lives on this earth but Almighty Allah tells us the sole purpose of our creation:


"I have created the jinn and humankind only for My worship" The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 51, Verse 56

What is the greatest form of worship to Allah? The answer is: Salaah!

Salaah is the second pillar of Islam and is the most important act of worship after the Shahada (decleration of faith).

It is the first question we will be asked as Muslims in the hereafter as to whether or not we fulfilled our Salaah or not. Therefore it is the most important act of worship that has been ordained to mankind.

So until our very last breath we should know what our priorities are and focus on fulfilling all of our Salaah as it is the very purpose of our creation.

Shaythan is very well aware that Salaah is our biggest obligation and so therefore is forever trying to divert mans attention away from fulfilling this obligation to Allah.

He whispers every excuse possible into our eyes and unfrotunatley a lot of the times we fall victim to his whispers.

Unfortunatley a lot of us are "Eid Muslims" as in we pray every Eid but what we don't realise is that Eid is only Waajib(compulsory) and not even Fard(obligatory) even though waajib is close to Fard but do yuo see the point? We are Muslims twice a year and the rest of the year just Muslims by name.

The there are the "Ramadan Muslims" who are just Muslims in Ramadan. They will make the effort to pray in Ramadan and even make the effort to pray Tarawee but the day Eid comes then Eid Salaah is the last Salaah they will read until next Ramadan.

There are also MANY of us who are "Jummah Muslims" who are only Muslims for Friday prayers and the rest of the week are only Muslims by name. We chase this world as if we will be here forever but what we don't realise is that NOTHING that we chase in this world will be of any good to us in the hereafter. So are we chasing after the wrong thing? Should we not be chasing after the hereafter?

I'm not saying don't do anything for this world because obviously we have been created to earn our sustanaince with our own hands but where should we put most of our efforts into? Where do investors make their investments? In long term or short term gains? Obviously long term gains. So using this analogy let us think where we should most of our investment into. If we compare where we will spend more time then is it in this world or hereafter? Obviously the hereafter because the hereafter is forever whereas this world can end for us ANY moment.

Therefore we MUST put most of our efforts into investing good deeds into the hereafter for that is what will truly benefit us FOREVER and the gains of this world will only benefit us for a very short while because we will not be able to take our wealth with us. We will leave EVERYTHING we have invested into this world here. So we can work SO hard all of our lives but then we can die the next day and all that would have gone to waste.

Many of us have also become "Convenience Muslims" as in we only pray when it suits us best or "when we have time". We must leave this concept of only being Muslims for Eid, or in Ramadan, Jummah or convenience whenever it suits us best.

There is NO such thing as being a part time Muslim. We CANNOT be Muslims when we want to be now and again. We CANNOT be Muslims only by name and not action. Therefore let us be proper Muslims and be proud of the fact that we are Muslims and that we have been given imaan but if we neglect our imaan then we may risk losing it and destroying ourselves.

Allah tells us In the Qur'an to enter fully into our deen and not partly:

O believers enter into Islam completely and do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan, surely he is your clear-cut enemy. If you falter after receiving the clear-cut message, then keep in mind that Allah is Mighty, Wise. Are they waiting for Allah to come down to them in the shadow of clouds, along with the angels, and make His decision known? Ultimately all matters will be presented to Allah for decision. (Surah Al-Baqara, Ayah 208-210)

Allah does not expect us to be perfect angels but he will judge us on what efforts we made throughout our lives. When you hear a person say "I try to read Salaah or i try to do what i can". Do you think they are really trying? Or are they just saying they are and decieving themselves? If we really tried we can do anything.

We can decieve ourselves but we cannot decieve Allah. Allah knows us better than we know ourselves and he knows what we are capable of and praying 5 times a day is not impossible for any of us.

If we calculate how long it would take to pray 5 times a day then you could sum it upto around 40 minutes a day. Now there are 1440 minutes in a day and 40 minutes out of 1440 of our day is ONLY 3% of a day and we still can't manage that? Many of us spend that much time eating, excreting or in front of a mirror and we can't even spend it praying and fulfilling the very purpose of our creation? We spend hours on end in front of the television or listening to Music or playing our playing the latest play station games or seeing who's poked us on facebook but we can't spend a few minutes praying to the one who has given us EVERYTHING we can possible imagine and far more? We are truly at loss!

Many of us work full time jobs having to work almost everyday of the year having to get up at early hours in order to do so. If we can do this then can't we pray Salaah 5 times a day for a few short minutes that it takes to pray them? If we really did try then we would not fail in praying our 5 prayers but we decieve ourselves and we end up wasting our lives decieving ourselves and then regret it later on when it is too late! Let us not be of those who will regret it forever!

So let us internalise these changes in our heads and immerse ourselves into our beautiful way of life and not let ourselves stop practising as soon as Ramadan is over for the best way to know if our Ramadan has been accepted or not is if we actually make changes to our lives after Ramadan is over. If we go back to how we were before Ramadan started then how can we except for our Ramadan to be accepted.

I'm not saying that we should become saints overnight but what i am saying is that we should at least fulfill our obligations to Allah and that is to establish our 5 times prayers and to keep away from that which Allah has forbidden. If we can't pray the Sunnah and Nafil then we MUST at least pray the Fard as a minimum.

Rather than moulding our life around our Salaah we mould our Salaah around our life so whenever we are sitting around at home then we decide to pray.

We must remember that it is an act of kufr(disbelief) to neglect the Salaah beyond its correct time and this is for missing one Salaah but how many Salaah do we continuously miss day in and day out? Some scholars even say missing Salaah intentionally takes one out of the fold of Islam. This is how serious missing Salaah really is!

Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: "What lies between a man and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer." (Muslim)

It is a major sin to miss even one prayer and leaving even one Salaah without a valid excuse is said to cause one to spend tens of thousands of years in Jahannam and on top of that every Salaah missed is VAST rewards missed out which we will never be able to gain back.

Therefore it is incumbant on us that we fulfil ALL of our Salaah and not make excuses as to why we cannot fulfill it because Islam has been made easy for us but it is us who makes it hard upon ourselves and because of the amount of sins that we committ we find it hard to do even simple acts of worship.

Allah has made it so easy for us so let us not make it hard for ourselves and let us not listen to the lame excuses that shaythan and our desires gives us.


We need to think to ourselves how limited our life really is so how can we really be sure that we will live until tomorrow? We have a 50% chance of dying at any moment and 50% is a huge chance of dying yet we live everyday like we will live forever in this world but we are asleep and so heedless. We do so much for this world and gain wealth, propertys and various other investments but if we die the next day then will this wealth and assets accompany us? The ONLY thing that will come with us is our good deeds. Our good deeds will be our companions in the grave and in the hereafter because they will be there for us when we REALLY need them the most, whereas what we gained in this world will leave us at the point of death.

So is it wise to spend our whole lives working for this world in expense of the next? Are we going to be here for that long that we should do so much for this world and neglect our final destination?

The succession of the night and day teach us an important lesson about this life; what goes will never come back again. This lesson is only understood by the wise people and leads them to invest all of their time in useful things as they realise that these times will never come back again. Once each second, minute, hour and day is gone it will NEVER come back. Yet our seconds go by and we do not even bother to ensure we make the best of how we spend them.

Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) urged us to use our time in a useful way when he said: “Grab five things before five others: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your work, and your life before your death.” (Al-Hakim)

He also indicated that we are to be asked about these times and how we invested them in the judgment day. Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
“A servants two feet will not move on the Day of Judgement until he is questioned about four (things): His youth, how he spent it, his knowledge, how he acted upon it, his wealth, how he earned it and how he spent it and his body, how he used/wasted it.” ( Al-Tirmidhi)

Worship in ones youth is the best worship that one will do in all of ones lifetime and this is because of the fact that this is the time that one will have the most desires and this is the time when one has passion, drive, determination and energy. The youth must use all of these things in wanting to spend their time pleasing Allah and doing those actions which will benefit them forever and NOT wasting their time in useless talk or meetings and especially on social networks on the internet and video games all of which are of no benefit to one in this world or the next.

So for the youth it is even more crucial NOT to waste ones youth on useless pursuits but in the worship of Allah so that one can be raised on the day of judgement as one who spent their youth in the worship of Allah.

So, whoever used his time for the benefits and pleasures of this life will regret after he died and his remorse will be very great at two times:

When he is dying he will wish that he is given another chance or extension to his life so that he may do good as Allah says:

In Falsehood will they be Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “O my Lord! send me back (to life),- In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected.” By no means! It is but a word he says. Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up. (23:99-100)

The key to success in this life and the next is making the hereafter the MOST important thing to us and making it our main focus. If we constantly keep the hereafter as our main focus everyday of our lives and strive as much as we can everyday to ensure that each second is spent on building up our hereafter then we will not go wrong inshallah.

Ibn Masood said: “I have never regretted anything as a day spent of my life without doing good deeds.”

How many days have we had like this where we have completely wasted them? On the day of judgement we would want to go back so that we could gain the HUGE rewards that are available just for saying Subhanallah!

Bilal ibn ass’d once said: if we are asked: ‘‘do you want to die?’’, we answer ‘‘No’’; and if we are asked ‘‘why?’’ we reply ‘‘in order to repent ad do good deeds’’. However if it’s said to us ‘‘Ok then do good deeds’’ we say: ‘‘Yes I will do’’; we keep working for this life everyday and postponing working for the hereafter.

We CANNOT afford to waste a single second in this life wasting it on that which will give us no benefit in this world or the next. Once our focus becomes the hereafter then NOTHING else will matter. Even things that we do in this world like work, study, look after and provide for family, parents, wife children etc will be like worship for us because we will do them for the pleasure of Allah. Even going to the toilet can be a worship if done in accordance with the Sunnah. Our WHOLE life from sleeping, eating, going to sleep and even breathing can become reward and worship with the right intentions so let us not waste a second more.

In the hereafter, when people are rewarded according to their deeds in this life, he wishes if he can go back to this life so he can do good deeds as he has experienced the hardness of punishment. Allah says:

They will say: “Our Lord! Twice hast Thou made us without life, and twice hast Thou given us Life! Now have we recognized our sins: Is there any way out (of this)?” (40:11)

Qatadah said regarding the last verse: By Allah, they don’t wish to go back to their families or clans, to get more of the pleasure of life, or to spend and fulfill their desires. Rather, they wished to return in order to perform and do acts of obedience to Allah - the Almighty -; God have mercy on those who do, in this life, the same good deeds and act of obedience that the unbeliever will wish to do when they meet the punishment in the Judgment Day.

Allah Also says:

But warn them of the Day of Distress, when the matter will be determined: for (behold,) they are negligent and they do not believe! (19:39)

Ibn Kathir provided the following translation for the latter verse:

(And warn them of the Day of grief and regrets) warn the creation of the Day of Distress.

(When the case has been decided) when the people of Paradise and the people of Hell will be sorted out, and everyone will reach his final abode which he was destined to remain in forever.

(While (now) they are) today, in the present life of this world.

(In a state of carelessness) with the warning of the Day of grief and regret, they are heedless.

(And they believe not) meaning they do not believe that it is true.


Imam Ahmad narrted that Abu Sa`id said that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “When the people of Paradise enter Paradise and the people of the Hellfire enter the Hellfire, death will be brought in the form of a handsome ram and it will be placed between Paradise and the Hellfire.” Then, it will be said, “O people of Paradise, do you know what this is?” Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.”' Then, it will be said, “O people of the Hellfire, do you know what this is?”' Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.” Then, the order will be given for it to be slaughtered and it will be said, “O people of Paradise, eternity and no more death, O people of Hellfire, eternity and no more death.” Then the Messenger of Allah recited the previous Ayah; then, the Messenger of Allah made a gesture with his hand and said: “The people of this life are in the state of heedlessness of this life.”

Let us get ourselves out of this heedless state that we are in and let us make our ONLY focus the hereafter so that EVERYTHING we do we do to please Allah. Before we do any action we should just stop and think to ourselves "Is this action going to be of any benefit to me in the hereafter"? If it is not then let us do that which WILL be of benefit to us. This brief moment of reflection will help us throughout our lives because it will prevent us from wasting our precious time and it will enable us to spend our precious seconds pleasing Allah and doing good deeds.

A clever and intelligent person realises that they have such limited time in this world and therefore each second should be spent on doing that which will benefit them in the long term as oppose to in the short term. Short term gains are what we do for this world and long term gains are what we do for the hereafter. Now if we spend our lives living for this world then we will have gains which are so short lived and after we die what will we have for eternity? Whereas if we lived this life to a minimum and spent our entire lives working for the hereafter then we will benefit FOREVER!

This world is like a dream that will end at any moment and in the next world we will wake up from this dream and that is when reality will hit us but by then it will be too late to do anything about it. Our chance to act is NOW! Therefore we CANNOT waste a second more.

Instead of watching TV and wasting our times with movies and games etc we should know that every second is so precious and that we cannot waste a single second on that which will not benefit us in this life or the next.

Therefore let us spend our time learning about Islam and implementing what we learn into our lives as well as teaching others what we learn as learning is the best of all worship.

Let us enjoin good and forbid evil and give as much dawah as we can inviting people to the way of Allah. Let us attend the Masjid and keep good connection with it so that we can gain a good connection with Allah. Let us keep good and pious company and disregard those who do evil as bad company is like poison for us. Let us sit with the scholars and learned people and those who remember Allah.

Let us spend our time reciting the Qur'an as every letter is so much rewards that we cannot imagine. We will be raised among the levels of Paradise until we stopped reciting the Qur'an in this world. So let us keep reciting so that we can be raised to the highest stages of Paradise. Let us also learn the meanings of what we are reading so that we can understand what Allah is telling us and so that we can implement what Allah is telling us in the Qur'an into our daily lives.

Let us perfect our characters all of the time and whatever we need to change about ourselves for the better then let us constantly work on these things.

Abu Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.''

Let us strive to be the best towards others in conduct and let us serve our parents as much as we can as serving ones parents is better than jihad.

Let us give as much as we can to charity for the pleasure of Allah for we will regret the money we wasted and did not spend in the way of Allah.

Let us also busy ourselves in prayer and much prostrations in the for of nawafil prayers because the more we prostrate to Allah in the form of prayer then the higher our ranks will be in the hereafter.

We should always ask of Allah in dua and know that dua is the weapon of the believer and this weapon should be used as much as possible for all of our duas that are not answered in this world will be stored for us in the hereafter and when we see the reward of those duas we thought were not accepted then we will wish that NONE of our dua's were ever accepted just so that we can gain these HUGE rewards.

We should be of the appreciative and thankful and always thank Allah for everything he has given us because he has done so many favours for us that we can never imagine. Allah gives more to the thankful and increases them in blessings.

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]


Also let us be patient through trials, hardships and adversities because they will help rid us of sin and it may be that a person who went through much trials in the world would face Allah with little or no sin and imagine how lucky that person would be on a day when we will tremble for the sins we committed in the world. What a terrible day that will be. So we should spend our time in repentance and have hope in the mercy of Allah and at the same time have fear that our repentance and deeds won't be accepted. Hope and fear should always be balanced and one should not have too much hope and one should not have too much fear but strike a balance between the two. Please read this thread to gain peace and contentment through trials and hardships:

Solutions Of How To Get Through Hardships, Stresses and Problems in life!

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...lems-life.html


Let us keep our tongues moist with the remembrance and glorification of Allah, How easy is it for us to utter useless words but how much will we regret when we realise that instead of all the useless talk we did in the world we we could have glorified Allah and even one glorification of Allah like Subhanallah and La ilaha ilallah gains one rewards one cannot imagine. It is just that in this world we cannot see these rewards but when we will see the rewards for ourselves on the day of judgement then we will say "Woe to me i wasted my life in useless talk when i could have been glorifying and remembering Allah."

Hadhrat Mu'az [RA] narrated Rasulallah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The Inhabitants of Paradise will not be grief stricken or sorrowful about anything they did in the life of the world except for the time they spent without being in the remembrance of Allah” (Tabaraani)

We can remember Allah where ever we are no matter what we are doing and this is the best thing we can do in our lives is to constantly remain in the remembrance of Allah. If we alwyas have Allah in our hearts then we will do EVERYTHING to please him and refrain from anything that displeases him.

The Prophet of Guidance (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) told us that remembrance of Allah is the best and the purest deed.

Abu Dardaa narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Shall I tell you of the best and purest of your deeds before your King, the one that elevates your position the most; that is better for you than meeting your enemies whose necks you strike and they also strike your necks, and better than spending gold and silver?” The companions said, “O Yes.” The Prophet (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then said, “Remembrance of Allaah, the Exalted.” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi and others).

My brothers and sisters let us take heed and make the changes in our life NOW for tomorrow may never come and then we will regret the precious short time we have wasted in our lives on useless pursuits.

Let us think before doing any action to ensure that EVERYTING we do we do to please Allah and if it will benefit us in the hereafter then we should do it but if it will only waste our time then we should not do it.

We CANNOT put this off any longer for shaythan will always say to us "You can change after you have done this or after you have done that, You can change next week or tomorrow". But tomorrow may never come so the time to change and act is NOW!

Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “Seek sweet happiness in three things: performing prayer, Remembering Allah, and reading the Holy Quran. If you find (delight in those three things), it is alright. But if you do not, it means that the door (to Allah’s Love and Mercy) is closed; so search for the reason.”

Another of the righteous men said, “How miserable people of the present world are! They pass away from it without having tasted the most delicious thing therein.” And when he was asked: “What is the most delicious thing therein?”, he said: “Knowing Allah, the Almighty, loving Him, and remembering Him.”

So let us strive to make the best of each second of our lives to ensure that each second is spent on pleasing Allah and each second that we waste on that which will not benefit us in the hereafter will be seconds that are wasted and seconds that we will regret FOREVER!



In regards to waking up for Fajr Salaah then you must take the following steps:

1. Try to sleep as early as possible if you do not need to do anything imortant after Isha Salaah because the earlier you sleep the easier it will be to wake up for Fajr

2. Try not to have any heavy meals in the evening as this will make it harder for you to wake up for Fajr

3. Try to encourage your family to also wake up for Fajr and tell them of the importance of Salaah as well as the fact that it is the purpose of our creation. If your family wakes up for Fajr then it will also be easier for you as they would also wake you up. If one or two of your family members do wake up for Fajr then tell them to also wake you up.

4. Make firm intention in your heart that you will wake up for Fajr no matter what and ask of Allah in your dua to make it easy for you to wake up for Fajr prayer.

5. Put on two or even three alarms and put them on 5 minutes apart and put them in places in your room where you know it will be a struggle getting to them. This way you will have to be wide awake to get to the alarms. As there will be three of them this will prevent you going back to bed again.

6. Most importantly when you awaken for Fajr then do NOT say to yourself i'll lay for a bit and then get up. This is the biggest trick of shaythan to make us fall asleep and miss Fajr prayer. As soon as the eyes are open then go straight to the bathroom.


These articles wil help you to Maximise the amount of good deeds you do everyday inshallah:


How much we will regret the precious seconds we wasted in this world!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ted-world.html


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html (10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith))



30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...eir-lives.html (30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!)



Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...vy-scales.html (Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!)



My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html (My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!)



10 steps to getting closer to Allah



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ser-allah.html (10 steps to getting closer to Allah)



Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!



http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!)



VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!



http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)


Have You Ever Tasted Jannah?


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ed-jannah.html



Wasting Time is worse than Death!



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...han-death.html





The Effects of Good deeds will remain forever!!!



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...n-forever.html



Want to see the REAL appearance of Almighty Allah everyday?



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...-everyday.html



12 Ways We Can Maximise Our Worship Each Day


http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...-each-day.html




Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:





AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc





Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA



HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc



Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE



Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo



How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg



If you need any help, advice or anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.



And Allah knows best in all matters
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