nifaq, i am fearing about my self

[tigerkhan]

:sl:
this thing really sadden me, in my 19th i turned totally to Islamic life, obviously b4 that religion is just traditional thing for me. i just pray Juma and Eid salat. but i was at the top of all other field at that time. education (even never too studious), sports, friendships and outings, Loffary, fighting, etc etc. but i leave all these things after getting to Islam. yes my study also got bit suffered, bcz after that i lose my interest in study and just take it as i am obliged to do it. mean i have sacrificed all but still i am not in islam as i want myself to be.......
e.g today i missed the fajar prayer (i am not always missing it, but i missed last one about 15 day ago), i had heard that its sign of "munifiqs" to missed fajar and esha. similarly there are many thing that are signs of nifaq and i think i also had these pbms. BUT if i see my heart, i think i love ALLAH SWT and Prophet PBUH,so i am confused about that.............!!!!
one thing, that bit relax me is, i think i will got more better in future bcz all this diseases/weakness came to me after several accidents in my life in past 3-4 years, and Alhumdulliah i am recovering day by day and getting better everyday. so i think i should not lose hope and keep it up, ALLAH SWT like me and He will help me and insh i will good and 100% practicing muslim in future...
the thing that disturb me is that, maybe its saitan; i have sacrifices all and make much effort to practice islam in my life, but still i have nifaq or weakness, so leave it and just dont destroy ur dunia. even my bro (AHD He is practicing) said me, u had left good career just for sake of islam and dawa work but u see u are also weak in islam, so just go for some good job. but i know if i go for such career, i am 100% sure i will get more weak in my religion. plz if someone can advise what i should do...
i am thinking that islam allow us to do work but never at the cost of eman and ammal. so i will never go for any such job which become a obstacle for me to strength my emaan and practice my deen. rest my worldly pbm, i think ALLAH SWT will not leave me alnoe in my problems..am i thinking right ???

sorry if i cant make u understand my problem, and thanks for patience in reading these lines.
:wa:

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Brother tiger :) you're love for Allah and His Messenger, and your fear of losing your Emaan is a sign of you having Emaan. Because it is the hypocrites/munafiqeen who do not fear to lose their Emaan.

So carry on trying to be good and keeping your islamic duties as best as possible, and get a good halal job if you are able. That is the best thing. :)


Remember that it is good to fear that you will lose your Emaan, but do not let shaytan make you think that Allah does not like you. Allah likes you, so long as you continue to work hard to make Him happy.

[tigerkhan]

:sl:
Qatada Bro too much thanks for ur reply. JazakAllah o khair fo these inspiring and encouraging words. u are right. Actually i missed fajar prayer that day and i was sad and shiatan was trying to disappoint me with ALLAH SWT. actually that day night was very cold, and i was sleeping in basement and i cant sleep well bcz of cold. at about 4 O clock i got up and go to washroom upstairs and then i took a heavy blanket form there and sleep again. then i dont know anything, only i remember i heard my mom calling me for fajar but i was in deep sleep. and my mom has pain in her leg, she cant come downstairs so i was asleep. when i got up this time was gone. i was too sad. but Alhumdulliah, one good thing, i never get hopeless and disappointed with HIM. i had make toba and hope He will forgive me.

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


I am really happy you asked :) it is really good to ask when you don't know. Always remember that a Muslim is scared of doing bad things because Allah might punish us, but if we get too scared, we should hope that Allah will forgive us.

Shaytan will try to make us too scared, or he will try to make us not scared of Allah. We have to be scared of Allah, but not so much that we stop asking Allah to forgive us. Then that is bad.


I pray to Allah to give you strong emaan, always. Ameen :)