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Aishath
12-28-2010, 12:57 AM
Assalaamu alaykum,

My problem is so silly so I don't even know if I've titled it right. Basically, I am in the UK and my family is based in another country and one of them (my uncle) seems to be really angry at me. He is in his twenties too (so fairly young). I don't know what I did. I have tried facebook messaging him, emailing him, asking my aunt to talk to him. His wife (who I am obviously not directly related to) has been the same to me. I am just really confused as to what's going on and worry about it a lot since I understand that it is a sin to not be talking to your family members and other brothers/sisters due to anger and stuff. The only explanation I could come up with was that in the past, I used to have two facebook accounts and he got a bit funny with me when he found out I had two but he wasn't friends with me on both accounts. Long story but anyway, I didn't think it was a big deal. But I mean, I find it really difficult to believe that a grown man, with a recent baby (subhaanAllah) of his own, can be so funny about something as trivial as a facebook account. I mean, I honestly don't know what to do. I have tried contacting him and I have apologised to him and asked him to let me know what he's angry about but he's just not responding and yet I know from others that he has been online and has probably seen the 3/4 messages and my email too.

I constantly feel like I am committing a sin by not talking to my family member :( I don't know what to do about it. I am going to ask my mother who is back home too to try and talk to him (it's her half brother). But I have a feeling that will make it worse. What should I do? Am I committing a sin or insha Allah, is there nothing more I can do? I have apologised for whatever I might have done.
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أبو سليمان عمر
12-28-2010, 04:40 AM
First sis i would advice you to not join facebook and canel it for there is much fitnah there.

2ND it is a sin to avoid your muslim brother for more then 3 days if it has somthing to do with dunya

NOW Alhumdulillah you are not angry with him you try to say salam and ask him whats wrong and Insha Allah if you want to you should countiune but do it for him so he doesnt get the sins as for you no sin on you insha Allah for you are trying to make it right so Alhumdulillah
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Rafeeq
12-28-2010, 04:49 AM
I feel, give him some time. Problems solve automatically with time some times. You are not disconecting any relation with him so you are not doing any thing wrong. Request your mother to speak with him and try to figure out what actually wrong he felt. I feel, there will be some other issue you might not be aware of.
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-28-2010, 07:01 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
couldnt you just say to him directly that you have felt him being a bit distant from you and you wonder if you have done anything to hurt him? even if he keeps "shutting the door" just keep contact with him as best as you can. it think persistence usually works in matters like this.
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Asiyah3
12-28-2010, 11:36 AM
Originally Posted by أبو سليمان عمر
2ND it is a sin to avoid your muslim brother for more then 3 days if it has somthing to do with dunya
Is there a hadith for this?
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Alpha Dude
12-28-2010, 11:57 AM
Wa alaykum salam
Am I committing a sin or insha Allah, is there nothing more I can do? I have apologised for whatever I might have done.
If you're doing all that you can to make the situation better, how could you be sinning? My advice, yes, do ask your mum but also at the end of the day, leave it in the hands of Allah. If he comes around that's great but you have done you bit.

- If he comes to you after a few years saying sorry, be kind and forgiving yourself. Don't hold a grudge.
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أبو سليمان عمر
12-28-2010, 05:06 PM
Originally Posted by Runaway
Is there a hadith for this?
Do not shun each other; do not ignore one another; do not hate one another, and do not envy one another, and be brothers, O servants of Allah. No Muslim is allowed to shun his brother for more than three days.) Muslim and At-Tirmidhi collected this Hadith, who considered it Sahih


Abu Ayyub (ra) that he narrated: “RasulAllah (saw) said: ‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the other if they meet. The better of them is the first one to say salaam.’” (Bukhari)
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Aishath
12-28-2010, 08:51 PM
Lol I kept on and on persisting him and he finally got back to me so it's all fine now (I think). I probably blew it out of proportion but I did feel like he was ignoring me.

Thank you everyone! May Allah bless all of you.
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Asiyah3
12-29-2010, 09:58 AM
Originally Posted by أبو سليمان عمر
Do not shun each other; do not ignore one another; do not hate one another, and do not envy one another, and be brothers, O servants of Allah. No Muslim is allowed to shun his brother for more than three days.) Muslim and At-Tirmidhi collected this Hadith, who considered it Sahih


Abu Ayyub (ra) that he narrated: “RasulAllah (saw) said: ‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the other if they meet. The better of them is the first one to say salaam.’” (Bukhari)
Jazakallah, I never knew this... :S
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