How old to explain to child siblings about islam?

[Amoeba]

Asalam alaykum. I have two child siblings, one is 3 and one is 7. My parents are awfully zealous about shielding them from the fact I converted to islam even though they are trying their hardest themselves to be understanding towards me. So, basically they make allowances for me and don't force me to do things I don't want to do or shouldn't do (Alhamdulilah christmas went by like a breeze, they weren't angry that I didn't take part in it even though I had been worrying about that). However they still want to shield my two little brothers from anything islamic, even as far as not telling them about me reverting.

I can understand their perspective. 1) A lot about islam does conflict directly with their chosen lifestyle, this may present confusion to my little brothers. 2) They might be just a little too young to properly understand, especially the littler one.

However it's going to come out eventually. The older one is already asking questions, such as why I wasn't there on christmas day. I'd like to think that he is perhaps old enough to understand that I follow a 'religion' (for lack of a better word, and probably the easiest word for him to recognise) that doesn't celebrate christmas. He's already done some very simple religious education in school, but he doesn't remember much apparently aside from christianity and judaism. It was enough for him to gather that not everybody lives the same lifestyle as he does and not everybody celebrates the same things he does.

I remember talking to him about religion before I reverted, he said he didn't believe in anything. I said to him that he might not feel that way forever, and he should still be nice towards anyone who has different beliefs from his own. He seemed to agree and understand, but at the same time seemed quiet about it so I can't be sure.

But is 7 too young? My parents seem to think he's far far too young but I think they're underestimating his ability quite a bit (sadly, because alhamdulilah he's very bright for his age). While I will be discussing it with my mum, it would help to hear of similar situations others here have went through. Seeing as this is the family and society forum it would be surprising if someone here hadn't encountered something similar. Any advice would be great because, sad to say, I'm not good at communicating with young children!

[Amoeba]

Was this the wrong forum for this? Can a mod please move it if it was?

[Tyrion]

I'm not sure about when or how you should tell the kids, but I want to say something... I'm pretty sure Islam doesn't encourage you to distance yourself from your family... You probably didn't have to not be around during Christmas. I don't think theres anything wrong with being with your family and joining in on their customs/festivities... It's not like you intend to worship Jesus, or celebrate his birthday. I know some people think it's completely forbidden, but look into it...

[Amoeba]

I know I have looked into it a lot. It seems, from what I have seen, a majority opinion to avoid those days of celebration. Left me very much doubtful that it was okay to see them on Christmas day. I actually saw them for most of the very next day and had dinner with them, and I see them quite a lot anyway (not every day, but still keep close ties with them) so I'm not distancing myself.

Anyway they were totally fine with it and we had a nice time the next day so I don't see how it's a problem. I never liked joining in christmas celebrations or being around on the day anyway, ever since I was about 15.

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[Woodrow]

:sl:

The best way to handle any question is to find the simplest solution. All you need do is live as a Muslim to the best of your ability. Children may be too young to understand an explanation at any age. But, they are always old enough to learn by example. There is no need to try to explain Islam to your younger siblings just always be prepared to answer their questions as they ask them. They will notice the life you live and they will ask. We learn when children are capable of understanding by being receptive to their questions.

[أبو سليمان عمر]

Asalam alaykum. I have two child siblings, one is 3 and one is 7. My parents are awfully zealous about shielding them from the fact I converted to islam even though they are trying their hardest themselves to be understanding towards me.

wa alaykumus salam May Allah make them health and strong and firm in his deen ameen and may Allah guide your parents ameen

So, basically they make allowances for me and don't force me to do things I don't want to do or shouldn't do (Alhamdulilah christmas went by like a breeze, they weren't angry that I didn't take part in it even though I had been worrying about that).

Alhumdulillah this is a good thing and may Allah bless you and yes you did do the right thing for it is not permissable to attend such things

However they still want to shield my two little brothers from anything islamic, even as far as not telling them about me reverting.

May Allah make it easy on you countine to act in accordence to islam and be kind to your parnets for this is a form of dawah this is sad to hear and very true s

I can understand their perspective. 1) A lot about islam does conflict directly with their chosen lifestyle, this may present confusion to my little brothers. 2) They might be just a little too young to properly understand, especially the littler one.

agree with the first point but in the other hand he is still young and that is a good thing so not much is differnt besides the holidays and a few other minor things for they are stuill young and alll they think about is fun time as we all did as children as for the 2nd point this is the best time when they are young for the are not too attached to the dunya and still have some state of fitrah in them insha Allah s

But is 7 too young?

no it is not but you also shouldnt shove it down his neck come to him with that which is best

My parents seem to think he's far far too young but I think they're underestimating his ability quite a bit (sadly, because alhamdulilah he's very bright for his age). While I will be discussing it with my mum, it would help to hear of similar situations others here have went through. Seeing as this is the family and society forum it would be surprising if someone here hadn't encountered something similar. Any advice would be great because, sad to say, I'm not good at communicating with young children!

try praying in front of him dress islamic around him say things like Alhumdulillah subhan Allah etc around him things that will have him asking questions so you can just do answering also tell him stories about islam and most important talk to him about the oness of Allah i would like to say more but you know your situation better then any of us and know how your brother is and how you family are hence do it in the best way not to casue fitnah and May Allah guide them and aid you in your dawah Ameen

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:

The best way to handle any question is to find the simplest solution. All you need do is live as a Muslim to the best of your ability. Children may be too young to understand an explanation at any age. But, they are always old enough to learn by example. There is no need to try to explain Islam to your younger siblings just always be prepared to answer their questions as they ask them. They will notice the life you live and they will ask. We learn when children are capable of understanding by being receptive to their questions.

^ This. Good advice.

[S.Belle]

But is 7 too young? My parents seem to think he's far far too young but I think they're underestimating his ability quite a bit (sadly, because alhamdulilah he's very bright for his age). While I will be discussing it with my mum, it would help to hear of similar situations others here have went through. Seeing as this is the family and society forum it would be surprising if someone here hadn't encountered something similar. Any advice would be great because, sad to say, I'm not good at communicating with young children!

No its not too young my godsister, who's 9 wants to become muslim and even told her mom when she gets older she will be inshallah so age shouldnt be a factor of his level of understanding.
Just answer his questions and be a good example he can follow

[Aishath]

Asalaamu alaykum,

I can't remember the exact age I first found out about Allah (swt). I might be wrong here because my memory is a bit hazy but... from what I recall, I was playing out in the garden and there was a girl there who was much older and she was with me and she told me about God and how Allah (swt) can always see you.

The point is I would have been younger than 8 though because at the age of 8 I moved houses.

Also, another thing is that my sister and I went to Umrah with our parents when we were very very young. My sister was only 3/4 and I was about 6/7. And recently I came across a picture someone had taken of me, my sister and my mom all sitting in a row and praying. So at the age of 4ish my sister had been praying and I remember being taught how to pray very young as well because my mom took things like teaching us how to pray and recite Quran very seriously. And I do know that my sister would have been aware that she was praying to Allah (even if she didn't realise the hugeness of the issue and everything) because my mom said that when we were standing nearby the House of God in Mecca, she kept on asking my parents to show her and finally my mom had to point it out to her. (I'm sorry if that's not the right way to refer, I know of the Dhivehi name we have - Gefulhu). And also, I remember how crowded it got in the Mosque in Mecca where we did our Umrah, and she was very little and complained to me about how she was all squished up and I told her (whilst I was about 6 or 7) that it was worth it because our prayers there were worth a lot or something along the lines.

Anyway the point of me reminiscing was to point out that there is no set age to talk about Islam. If you feel like your siblings might be old enough to grasp certain concepts, then you could perhaps show them bit by bit. Obviously, the situations would differ since mine was the case that I was insha Allah, born into a Muslim family. But this was just to point out that at any age, kids can be praying, realising there is a God and so on.

This is what I remember and insha Allah, if I'm wrong with the ages, may Allah forgive me. I think for the most part, I am right though but dates do tend to get all mixed up as you grow older...

May Allah bless you for your attempts and help you stay on the straight path and help you in guiding your family as well. Ameen.

[Ansariyah]

Just lead by example, be the best Muslim u can be. InshaAllah when they grow up they will wonder why it is u do wat u do, n hopefully learn about Islam that way.

I know a revert brotha who has a half brotha whos 14. Since accepting Islam a couple of years ago the boys mom basically forbid the boys from even talking. But now that the kids 14, he wants to know why his brother is a Muslim. He visits his brother, phones him wants to know about Islam. SubhanaAllah see if Allah wants to guide someone no one can stop that. So the mothers now all in shock, all her effort throughout the years to make sure that her son would never know about islam...all in vain.=) Allahu Akbar.

[AslamP]

Six years of age is a perfect age to start gently, teaching religion. Children learn well if adults use respect and love in their teachings instead of aggressiveness.