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anonymous
01-14-2011, 10:58 PM
i have a really stressful and embarrasing situation -
i keeps getting these horrible disgusting images in my head (mostly sexual) and i cant get rid of them - i know the shatan can give you waswas but can they form these images in your head too -

anyway its really depressing me as i keep thinking i need to do ghusal- i end up doing ghusal sometimes 2-3 times a day and i keep thinking its my fault and ive sinned and that its me formulating these images in my head but i really hate them - i dont know what to do i try to ignore thm but sometimes its too hard -

i normally discharge a lot and so when i see this i thinks its something else (like ejaculation ) and just do ghusal -

ive really really tried to just ignore them - please someone help me

i didnt want to come on this site to discuss this but its really getting to me now at a pint where i just want to cry - i cant talk to anyone else abt it either - i feel trapped
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Hamza Asadullah
01-20-2011, 05:45 AM
Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayran for sharing your sensative issue with us as i know it may not have been so easy to share.

May i ask what is your situation with marriage? Also do you watch anything innappropriate on the internet or on TV, movies etc? Do you self gratify? You need to find the trigger for this and it is usually looking at that which one should not looked at. Therefore if you do then you must STOP looking at any indecent images whether on TV, internet, movies and also keep your gaze low at all times when at and about.

The brain takes these images and stores them and then later on at any point one starts to picture them in ones head where shaythan reminds one and tries to stir up our carnal desires. If we never had these images in the first place then we would not be able to imagine anything.

The liquid you talk about can't be ejaculation it is the liquid which comes out before urine or when in arousal. You only need to do make wudu again if such liquid comes out and also wash the stain on any clothing.

Consider the following article:

Haraam Fantasizing

by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (daamat barakaatuhum)

There is no shortage of complaints when it comes to giving up sins and the struggle which ensues between individuals and their nafs, as well as Shaytaan.

This battle is inevitably on-going – till our dying day. There is no other way out, except to show the courage and bravery that every Muslim does have – when it comes to Pleasing Allah Ta’ala.

Yet another widespread weakness is that of Haraam fantasizing. Young and old, married and unmarried – thousands upon thousands, succumb to their runaway imagination when it comes to fantasy world and this in turn leads to even graver sin.

Allah Ta’ala granted us the power of Imagination for a beautiful purpose; but most people today utilize this imagination in filthy thoughts. The following is actually drawn from my Malfoozaat. It is an extract from one of the kitaabs. It is a prescription which I have given to many who have complained of the same. Alhamdulillah, it has been a means of cure for many. May Allah Ta’ala make it a means of cure for all that have this ailment.

“Haraam fantasizing is the spiritual disease of almost every person. It is abuse of the great, wonderful and amazing gift of imagination.

Why did Allah Ta’ala give us this gift of imagination ?

The imagination has been given to us so that it may be used to ponder over the Qur`aan Sharif, which entails stories of past nations and verses upon verses of Jannat and Jahannum and accountability. This is imagination was to be used for the purpose of taking lesson and strengthening our Imaan. It was to be used as a catalyst towards ‘Aml’ (action).

The imagination was not given to us so that we may indulge our nafs in filthy thoughts.

One of the main reasons why both men and women have this problem plaguing them, is due to their indulgence in lustful gazing.

After having cast filthy gazes at ghair-mahareem , or watching porn movies or paging through porn magazines, or reading explicit romance novels, there is desire and craving for more. Since ‘more’ is generally not possible … since the person may be married, or the object of one’s desire is a film star or supermodel or a Miss Universe or Mr. Universe, and there is zero chance of meeting the person, the person tries to satisfy these shahawaat (desires) by fantasizing.

But fantasizing is not going to satisfy desire. It will only increase desire. The person’s sickness will increase. His physical health will inevitably also suffer.

When the desire to indulge in Haraam fantasizing comes into the heart, then take your imagination to the Day of Judgement; stand before Allah Ta’ala’s Seat of Judgement and begin accounting for all your actions in this world. Think of how you will account for and what you will say to Allah Ta’ala when all these filthy thoughts will be presented to you.

Allah Ta’ala states in the Qur`aan Sharif :

“WHEN THE SCROLLS ARE LAID OPEN.” [SURAH TAKWEER 81 :10]

“THIS OUR RECORD SPEAKS ABOUT YOU WITH TRUTH : FOR WE WERE WONT TO PUT ON RECORD ALL THAT YOU DID.” [SURAH JATHIYA 45 :29]

Even though Allah Ta’ala is All-Knowing and well aware of all our actions, He has established a law whereby every action and every detail of every action be recorded and thereafter presented to us on the Day of Reckoning – in favour of us or witness against us.

Otherwise take your imagination for Haj : Picture yourself at the Multazam, making Tawaaf, making Sa`ee; picture yourself at the Raudha Mubarak, conveying Salaam to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), or take your imagination to your Qabr and the events which unfold in the grave after death. …Insha-Allah, this will a means of defeating nafs and Shaytaan as well as obliterating a filthy habit.

If you find yourself still weak against the demands of nafs and whisperings of Shaytaan, then immediately occupy yourself in that which is ‘mubaah’ (permissible). Begin conversation with your parents, or with brothers and sisters, or phone a good, pious friend, or listen to some Qiraat or Deeni talk… Occupy yourself in that which is Halaal and mubaah; otherwise nafs will ravage your heart and destroy your peace of mind and lead you to even suicidal tendencies.

Added to this, consider filthy thoughts as pigs. Just as we show aversion and absolute disgust on seeing a pig, so should we be disgusted with dirty thoughts – which fall in the same category as pigs. Both are Haraam (forbidden).

Furthermore, Haraam fantasizing leads to the evil habit of self-gratification, because there is no Halaal avenue to satisfy one’s desires. This is a rather disastrous weakness amongst the youth and one should ponder over the various harms which are too many, and these harms are spiritual, physical and psychological harms.

Satisfying one’s desires by masturbating is not permissible even if a person does not have the means to marry. Allah Ta’ala mentions that those who do not find the means to marry should remain chaste.

“And those who do not find the means to marry, should remain chaste until Allah gives them resources by His Grace.”

Remaining chaste is thus a Divine command which is compulsory to comply with – therefore we will find the Ahadith presenting prescriptions to remain chaste (lowering the gaze, fasting, etc.).

As a prescription, the following harms should be read and re-read if need be, until it is understood that the harms long term are not worth the gratification that comes with the sin.

Some Spiritual Harms :

1. Taufeeq of doing good deeds is taken away. The person is deprived of Tahajjud, of Tilawat of the Qur`aan Sharief, of associating with the pious, etc.
2. The person is deprived of knowledge and finds an aversion to people
3. The most dangerous is that the person will not be able to remain steadfast on Deen. (Allah Ta’ala protect).
4. Besides this, a person who satisfies his evil desires in this manner is cursed according to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).


Some Psychological Harms :

It leads to

1. agitation and irritation over trivial matters,
2. lack of confidence,
3. disinterest in studying
4. and desire for isolation.

Much more can be stated in respect to the harms of this sin. So contemplating the above, should give every incentive to give up the sin. No one would like to contend with any one of the above problems and yet just one evil deed and the person has invited waves of calamities upon himself.

If evil desires still get the better, then Nikah is a simple solution. Where the evil desires are so difficult to suppress that the person engages in Haraam then Shariah says that it is Fardh for the person to marry. This is, of course, for those who the ability.

End of article.

The best way to fight these urges and desires is marriage. Marriage is the best solution without a doubt for there is nothing else that will surpress our carnal desires as much as marriage will. One can also fast and eat less but marriage is the only real solution.

One should also keep ones gaze low and not look at the opposite sex on TV or the internet because our minds hold images like sponges and if we keep viewing haraam images then our minds will keep playing them in our heads. The only way to stop this is not look at those images in the first place and keep ones gaze low. One should not go into market areas unless it is absolutley necessery.

We should also remember that our sworn enemy shaythan wants our destruction and that is shaythans main aim and purpose. Therefore we must repel his whispers and the temptations of our nafs by remembering Allah as much as we can and reciting the Qur'an, learning knolwedge of deen and keeping good and pious company which is very important.

Also having the fear of Allah in ones heart will help one to resist temtpation. Once we have the fear of Allah in our hearts then we will think twice before doing any action that may cause the anger and wrath of Allah. The best way to gain the fear of Allah is through gaining knowledge, remembrance of Allah and fulfilling ones obligations to Allah.


And Allah knows best in all matters
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tigerkhan
01-20-2011, 06:58 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
i have a really stressful and embarrasing situation -
i keeps getting these horrible disgusting images in my head (mostly sexual) and i cant get rid of them - i know the shatan can give you waswas but can they form these images in your head too -

anyway its really depressing me as i keep thinking i need to do ghusal- i end up doing ghusal sometimes 2-3 times a day and i keep thinking its my fault and ive sinned and that its me formulating these images in my head but i really hate them - i dont know what to do i try to ignore thm but sometimes its too hard -

i normally discharge a lot and so when i see this i thinks its something else (like ejaculation ) and just do ghusal -

ive really really tried to just ignore them - please someone help me

i didnt want to come on this site to discuss this but its really getting to me now at a pint where i just want to cry - i cant talk to anyone else abt it either - i feel trapped
dont be alone, be wid good and pious and be busy in creative things. eat less or Fast.
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anonymous
01-20-2011, 03:39 PM
salaam

I try and watch clean programs - and i change the channels when so much as a kiss comes on -
i never used to get these images - i have been suffering from all sorts of waswas ever since ive become more practicing including whisperings - which i am able to ignore most of the time Alhumdulliah -
but these images - sometimes i feel like crying because eveytime i get this image i feel likeim sinning -
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Hamza Asadullah
01-21-2011, 05:04 AM
Asalaamu Alaikum, it is not easy to control ones carnal desires especially if one is not married and is not able to satisfy ones urges. That is why there is no better solution than marriage for this issue. But you can do a lot of things to reduce such thoughts and urges:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Even if you get tempted, just think of Allah and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and that Allah is watching you at all times and this urge will go away.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Shaythan plays with the minds of those who sit around idle and not doing anything. Find good company and stay in this good company. Spend time with your family and close ones (Not Non mahrams) Find good company and stay in this good company.The best company are those who lead you towards good and not those who lead you in the wrong direction. Don't hang around with those girls who talk about sexual things and boys etc.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom as soon as possible because we are advised in the sunnah not to delay getting changed after a bath. We should dry ourselves and get into doing an act of worship.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. Sleep on your sides and NOT on your front or back. It is forbidden to sleep on your stomach and it is sunnah to sleep on your right side. Do dua's and Zikr until you fall asleep.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. If these thoughts come to you in the middle of the night then go and do wudu and pray Tahajjud and make much dua and cry in your dua's of Allah to increase you in imaan (Faith) and to help you resist your desires and to help you get married ASAP.

7. Find out when are your weakest times when your most likely to get these thoughts and feelings. When you have established on what times and occassions this occurs then you can plan what to do to avoid feeling temptations on thos particular occassions.

8. Try to keep your gaze low at all times. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act inshallah.

9. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good Islamic books, the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and his seerah, the life after death. There SO many interesting topics to read and learn about. Make a daily habit of reading at least one juz(Chapter) of Qur'an with its meanings or how much you can manage. The aim is to fill your time with as much good as possible so you have no time to sit idle and get such thoughts.

Reading the Qur'an everyday with its meanings will bring countless blessings and rewards and bring you closer to Allah as well as keep you busy and occupied therefore keeping your mind off this problem.

10. Make much dua. But when you make dua don't just make dua about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Make dua for increase of your iman(faith), Make dua for understanding of the Islam and the Qur'an, Make dua for your family and ALL Muslims especially the ones that are being oprressed, Pray for the sick and that we all unite as one. keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever --not in conversation with others, not inso much in your dua's. keep it out of your mind because if you keep mentioning it then it will stay in your mind!

11. Fast. You may have tried it before and it did'nt work but how can it work if we don't change our eating habits? If we eat little just to satisfy our stomachs then our fasting will be effective and restrict our sexual urges and capability's. But if we carry on over eating after our fasts then that food will impact on the stomach which will impact on our desires. So restrict the amount you eat before and after fasting and you will feel the benefits of fasting to stop your urges.

12. Finally the best solution of all- GET MARRIED. Give some urgency to your family about the need for you to get married sooner rather than later. Tell them of the benefits of getting married early and that it is a sunnah as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) recommended it as it will help avoid haraam(Forbidden) relations with non mahrams and getting married early will help eradicate this problem and mean that one can indulge in their sexual urges and desires legitamatley as well as recieve reward for it. The main reason why there is so many haraam relations out there is for the fact that our families are not getting their children married early enough as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) advised.


Hope these tops help inshallah. Keep on striving and resisting the whispers of shaythan. Whenever you get such thoughts then repeat "A'udhubillahi minashaythanirajeem" and "La Hawla Wala Quwatha illah billah hillaliyyil a'dheem".

Never give up, if you trip and fall then just get up and continue striving. Allah is with those who are patient and persevere and put their trust in Allah.

And Allah knows best in all matters
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anonymous
01-21-2011, 09:20 AM
salaam -

Hamza Brother - i dont think you understand , i dont do any of the above -
I dont these images in my head - im not creating them myself - they are like when you get waswas and you cant control them -
i never touch my self like that - i hate this - why would i get sooo depressed or cry all the time if thisz was all me


I dont know what why this is happening - evertime i get images like this i feel like im sinning - i hate it sooo much
ever since coming back from Omrah last march - ive become more practicing - i pray 5 times a day - i read the Quran - i try to be good

i dont know what else to do - why is this happening to me- ive just got over these waswas - i still get them but ive learnt to ignore them -

im scared all the time - i feel like im doomed which ever way i look
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anonymous
01-21-2011, 09:48 AM
salaam -

Brother hamza - i dont have these Urges your talkign about - i dont want them - i want to be a good practicing muslim -
I always remeber Allah and try my best to stay away from sin - so why would i intentionally create these images in my head - #

I thought it was waswas from the shataan because im practicing but now im just confused and scared - i dont feel like doing anything - hanaging out with friends, having fun etc etc in the state im in -

I want to get married but then i think in this state of depression will i be ready - cos right now all i want is to be near my mum - and even though i cant tell her about this problem - its a compfort to knwo that she is just there -

its not just images like i said i get waswas aswell - its like i fight the devil and get over one problem and then get another - its like a constant battle i have - im never at peace - even in my salah -
its nearly been a year since ive been practicing and ive been depressed ever since -

I know i will never stop practicing ( that is one thing i know for sure) but i cant help but be sad all the time - i try to be strong and tell my self its just the shataan but sometimes i just fall into self blame (INFACT MOST OF THE TIMES I BLAME MESELF) and feel trapped -

I feel like everything ive done in the past year (any good deed that ive done had just gone down the drian becuase of these images)
I dont want to talk or think about this problem but when its constanly in your head how can you ignore it -

brother hamze please belive me i dont want these images in my head - i never have these urges even though im not maried -
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Snowflake
01-21-2011, 12:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
salaam -

Hamza Brother - i dont think you understand , i dont do any of the above -
I dont these images in my head - im not creating them myself - they are like when you get waswas and you cant control them -
i never touch my self like that - i hate this - why would i get sooo depressed or cry all the time if thisz was all me


I dont know what why this is happening - evertime i get images like this i feel like im sinning - i hate it sooo much
ever since coming back from Omrah last march - ive become more practicing - i pray 5 times a day - i read the Quran - i try to be good

i dont know what else to do - why is this happening to me- ive just got over these waswas - i still get them but ive learnt to ignore them -

im scared all the time - i feel like im doomed which ever way i look
Assalamu alaykum,

May Allah reward brother Hamza for his beneficial posts. Being afflicted with the most severe waswas, and especially of this nature may be not be easy to understand if one hasn't experienced this kind of thing themselves, but by avoiding those things bro Hamza mentioned, we can reduce the risk of becoming easy targets for the shaytaans to influence our minds. Therefore do seek benefit from his posts inshaAllah.


Like yourself, I have suffered from severe waswas but not of the same nature, so I can relate to some of what you said. However, it's not so much the nature of the waswas that's the problem, it's the severity and constant presence that's hard to deal with. I found that other than seeking protection by reciting Surah an-Nas, al Falaq, Ayatul Kursi and the last two verses of al Baqarah, it was the recitation of Surah Ar Rahman that finally freed me of this torture. I didn't recite Surah Ar Rahman for any reason except for the my love for Allah, and due to my love for it, I was sometimes reciting it up to 3 times a day. And one day, not long after developing this habit, I realized I'm no longer suffering from severe waswas any more. It just happened without me knowing. I was aware the waswas were trying come at me. I could feel the thought trying to get to me, but it was as if was a barrier between it and my mind, and before they could enter my mind, they'd be destroyed. It reminded me of when meteorites come hurtling towards the earth, but are destroyed by the upper atmosphere before they hit us. I have no doubt Allah granted me refuge from waswas by the blessings of Surah Ar Rahman, and my love for it. No doubt the shaytaans hate your increase in imaan, mashaAllah. They are bombarding you from every side to make you fall. InshaAllah fight them as we have been taught by Rasulullah, sallalahu alayhi wa sallam, and seek refuge from Allah in the healing and blessings He has placed in the Quran. That doesn't mean just reciting it without paying attention to it. But by loving it. Adoring it. Understanding it. Loving it. Because it is a Book from Allah. His Speech. His Message written especially for us (mankind). Allah is addressing us with Kindness, giving us hope of His forgiveness, and warning us of His punishments. Reminding us of His rewards, and guiding us through a life of trials and tribulations. Who else cares that much for our fate? No one but Allah! Love the Quran (and loving the sunnah will follow) and live by it, and no shaytaan will want to be in your company for as long as you do.



Wish to share in general..
Love is the most powerful emotion in the world. Humans are willing to go to any length to attain the one they desire. But the love for a human being is bound by human needs, and deny as they might, to conditions. But love for Allah frees one from the desires of the world, and its worries. It's not love when people claim to love Allah but disobey Him and His Rasool (saw) for their own pleasures. Love of Allah overrides all desires that are displeasing to Him, and take you away from Him. You cannot claim to love Allah, then want to live in big houses, pursue wealth and worldly comforts (often by haram means) and disobey His Commands. When you love Allah, you worry about putting a step wrong - even when no one is watching. Your needs become basic. You don’t fret about where your next meal is coming from. Food becomes a basic need, not a gluttonous love affair. You know as long as you don’t sit there twiddling your thumbs, and make an effort, Allah is The Sustainer and He WILL provide. You know your ‘unanswered’ prayers will reveal rewards in the Akhirah. You know that hardships are tests, that if we bear them with patience, Allah will love and reward us, and if they are punishments, then they reduce our punishments in the Akhirah. You know that if someone does wrong to you, they have only wronged themselves. You know that pain and illness are a means of expiation of sins. You never complain. Your heart is deeply aware of the blessings Allah has given you in your life. You are continuously thanking Him, and not desiring more. You shake at the thought of His punishments and strive hard to avoid sinful actions. And when you are weak, you feel regret sorrow and shame, and seek His forgiveness through sincere repentance. You don’t desire worldly possessions because spiritually and emotionally you are not in the duniya. You're already in the Here-after. You’re dreaming of the time you can be with Allah in the shade of HisThrone. That’s your dream. Your goal. You feel imprisoned in the dunya, dying to escape – aware of your sins and unsure of your fate but still holding tightly to hope of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness. You reject pleasing people over the pleasure of Allah. The love of Allah frees a man from the burdens of carrying unfulfilled desires, and of the trouble to attain them. You feel at peace.You know that Allah never does bad for anyone, but we only do bad for ourselves. Even others we do good for can do bad for us. But from Allah, there is no reward for good, other than good. There is no love like loving Allah, and NO love is greater than the love Allah has for His obedient servants.



هَلْ جَزَاءُ الإحْسَانِ إِلا الإحْسَانُ The Glorious Quran 55:60

Is there any reward for good other than good?


Fi aman Allah.
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anonymous
01-21-2011, 01:30 PM
salaam -

Thankyou Both for your help = I always appreaciate Brother Hamzas advise - i just though he misunderstood what i was saying - but in shaallah i will take eveything both of you said and apply it to myself -

I have just read surat rehman - and it was beautiful - alhumdulillah -
Your right it is the shataan trying to put me down - ive never experienced such waswas before i became practicing so i know thats is why im being attacked - Insha allah i will try and be patient - sometimes its just hard :(
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Hamza Asadullah
01-22-2011, 01:07 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
salaam -

Thankyou Both for your help = I always appreaciate Brother Hamzas advise - i just though he misunderstood what i was saying - but in shaallah i will take eveything both of you said and apply it to myself -

I have just read surat rehman - and it was beautiful - alhumdulillah -
Your right it is the shataan trying to put me down - ive never experienced such waswas before i became practicing so i know thats is why im being attacked - Insha allah i will try and be patient - sometimes its just hard :(
Asalaamu Alaikum, i do apologise if i misunderstood you in anyway but the tips are meant to help you to at least lessen the thoughts that you get because shaythan can only play with existing images you have in your head from the past until present.

Sister AmaturRahman has also given you wonderful advice may Allah reward her abundantly. My sister realise that this life is a struggle and many are going through what you are going through but a person does not know from looking from the outside what struggles, hardships, trials and adversities a person is going through.

This is your test and as long as you continue to strive and persevere then you will pass this test successfully and the end result will be sweet and victorious. In Jannah we will remember the many trials and adverisites we went through in life and we will discuss it amongst ourselves and if we passed those trials then we will be enjoying the fruits of our labour in Jannah.

So my sister hold on to the rope of patience, perseverance and strive to get over any hurdles that come before you with constant worship and remembrance of Allah. Ask of Allah and beg to him especially in the latter part of the night. Put your trust in Allah and rely on him.

Recite the Qur'an as the sister advised along with nafils and dhikr. Spend time with good company who will remind you of Allah and keep away from gossipers or those who will lead you towards haraam. The best remedy for your solution is marriage there is no doubt about that.

So whatever your circumstances are you must try and get married as soon as possible as this is the best remedy against what you are going through. Make effort and asking of Allah and he will find you a good and pious partner who will lead you towards Jannah.

We are here for you my sister so continue to share with us whatever you like or ask any questions you may have. May Allah make your trials easy for you and give you the best of this world and the hereafter. Ameen

And Allah knows best in all matters
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