couple of questions

[elina]

hi ive put this here as i have a couple of different questions ...sorry if im in the wrong section

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me.

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours :cry: I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this? :muddlehea

[ardianto]

hi ive put this here as i have a couple of different questions ...sorry if im in the wrong section

Assalamualaikum, my sister in Islam.

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me.

Please wait for other brother/sister who can give you a better answer than me in this mater.

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours :cry: I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this? :muddlehea

I always avoid to touch my wife because in Shafi'i madhab that I follow it will breaks my wudu. But after I finish my salat and zikir I never forbid my wife to kiss my hand. It's automatically breaks my wudu, of course, but what the problem ?, I can take wudu again for the next salat time. I never heard any rule in Shafi'i madhab or in Islam in general that forbid a Muslim to take wudu many times.

Sister, if you want your husband touch you (in general touching, not intimate), you can tell him "honey, you can take wudu again". However, if he still refuse to touch you, it's better if you don't force him. Keep in patience, sister.

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

hi ive put this here as i have a couple of different questions ...sorry if im in the wrong section

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me.

:salamext:


Yes you are Muslim, and that is sufficient. To find answers to your Islamic questions, you would ask a trustworthy scholar who would give you answers to your questions.

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours :cry: I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this? :muddlehea

Being Sunni is a Muslim who follows the Sunnah [example of Prophet Muhammad].

There are 4 main schools which derive laws from the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad, they are called; Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i, and Hanbali schools/madhabs. These schools all use tools to interpret the laws from the Qur'an and Sunnah.


Since your husband is a Shafi'i, it's okay. He is still a Muslim. In the Shafi'i school, they interpret an ayah from the Qur'an of surah al Ma'idah 5:6, where it says [meaning]; "[if] you have touched women and do not find water (to do Wudu), then seek clean earth and wipe over your faces and hands with it."


The Shafi'i school interprets that ayah literally, so they see that if you touch your wife, your wudhu breaks. However, other schools said it is not a literal meaning, but that it means if a man touches their wife with desire, or if they have intimate relations with her. They say that is what is meant.


The best thing would be if your husband did Wudhu again if he did touch. That might make it easier. But if he can't do that, then it might be okay to be patient with him, because he is trying his best to follow Islam.

Allah knows best.

[elina]

wa salaam alaikum brother.....thanks for your reply :) he does do wudu again if i touch him and he isnt too bothered but he prefers me not to, sometimes i just completely forget or do it by accident ..... we are normally really close and it feels strange being unable to have contact for a while..... thinking about it i may find it easier if i follow the same rule, that way i will be more aware :)

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


elina, in matters when it comes to your husband, it is good to obey his rules. That will make your marriage even better, insha' Allah. We ask Allah to bless it, ameen.

[elina]

salam qatada and thank you for the explanation of the schools..... i remember reading the ayah you mentioned and i too took it to mean intimately but didnt realise Shafi interpreted it a different way..... thank you, i knew there would be a reason that made sense, i just couldnt find it :)

[sur]

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours :cry: I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this? :muddlehea

Quran uses the word "touch" as metaphore to sensual/sexual grouping etc, NOT the usual platonic touching...

Prophet Muhammad used to kiss Aisha when he was fasting... As long as couple can stay away from arousing-contact "Wuzhu" is NOT affected., so does the fast.

Sahih Bukhari:Volumn 001, Book 006, Hadith Number 319.


Narated By Zainab bint Abi Salama : Um-Salama said, "I got my menses while I was lying with the Prophet under a woollen sheet. So I slipped away, took the clothes for menses and put them on. Allah's Apostle said, 'Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then he called me and took me with him under the woollen sheet." Um Salama further said, "The Prophet used to kiss me while he was fasting. The Prophet and I used to take the bath of Janaba from a single pot."

[elina]

:salamext:


elina, in matters when it comes to your husband, it is good to obey his rules. That will make your marriage even better, insha' Allah. We ask Allah to bless it, ameen.

hi again Qatada.... aww i dont disobey him, and we had a chat about it and i explained that i didnt care if he touched me before salat and he was okay with it :)



Salaam sur and thank you for that :)

[abjad]

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me. This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this?

Waleykum salaam
........personally i don't really understand what madhhab got to do with Din Llah.....as clearly it has been said in Kuran Kareem that;
Milat Ibrahim...kaanat hanifan wa makana mina Lmushrikin
am saying this http://www.islamicboard.com/miscella...-question.html

........your second wanting to know...i think many of us take this referring to verse wa Idha laamastu nisaa--BUT this dosent really means to that touching you have explained(as u know Kuran Kareem NEVER, use such words as Intercourse, but give light to near to be understood;you can check Kuran Kareem, many place has given example such as "When hamalatha Hamla thakila; things like these are mean after intercourse...what in mothers womb.

But many take wa idha laamtsu nisaa...
i tried to explain to many ...but as usual YOU can lead a horse to the pool BUT......?
..shukraan...

[glo]

Quran uses the word "touch" as metaphore to sensual/sexual grouping etc, NOT the usual platonic touching...

Prophet Muhammad used to kiss Aisha when he was fasting... As long as couple can stay away from arousing-contact "Wuzhu" is NOT affected., so does the fast.

Thanks for sharing, sur.

There seems to be a difference in opinion then, as to what is meant by 'touching'.
If the example of Muhammed, who kissed his wife during fasting, is to go by, then are you saying a platonic touch should not break wudu?

Others seem to take a stricter view, that touching of any kind does break wudu.

[tigerkhan]

sister i suggest plz ask some scholar for this sensitive and important issue.

[Zuzubu]

After what I have ben taucht, sexual intercourse breaks wudhuu, but touching other ways dosn't break it.

[Rabi'ya]

:sl: bro Zuzubu

As has been mentioned earlier, it depends on the school of thought. Shafii' takes somewhat of a more stricter view on the matter, which includes any kind of physical touch at all.

[sur]

Quran uses the word "touch" as metaphore to sensual/sexual grouping etc, NOT the usual platonic touching...

Prophet Muhammad used to kiss Aisha when he was fasting... As long as couple can stay away from arousing-contact "Wuzhu" is NOT affected., so does the fast.

Sahih Bukhari:Volumn 001, Book 006, Hadith Number 319.


Narated By Zainab bint Abi Salama : Um-Salama said, "I got my menses while I was lying with the Prophet under a woollen sheet. So I slipped away, took the clothes for menses and put them on. Allah's Apostle said, 'Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then he called me and took me with him under the woollen sheet." Um Salama further said, "The Prophet used to kiss me while he was fasting. The Prophet and I used to take the bath of Janaba from a single pot."

Those who blindly follow so-called scholars should think again about their approach... Islam is based on Quran & Sunnah of Prophet ,,, NOT on mis-interpretations of so-called scholars...


Sunan-Abu-Dawood:1:179:-
------------------------------
Chapter : Ablution does not become void by kissing a woman.

Narated By 'Aisha : The Prophet (may peace be upon him) kissed one of his wives and went out for saying prayer He did not perform ablution. 'Urwah said: I said to her: Who is she except you! Thereupon she laughed. Abu Dawud said: The same version has been reported through a different chain of narrators.

Abu-Dawood:1:272:-

Narated By One of the Wives of the Prophet : Ikrimah reported on the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) saying: When the Prophet (pbuh) wanted to do something (i.e. kissing, embracing) with (his) menstruating wife, he would put a garment on her private part.

Abu-Dawood:7:2379:-

Narated By Umar ibn al-Khattab : I became happy, so I kissed while I was fasting, I then said: Apostle of Allah, I have done a big deed; I kissed while I was fasting. He said: What do you think if you rinse your mouth with water while you are fasting.(i.e. such an action does NOT affect fast, just like rinsing mouth does NOT break it.) The narrator Isa ibn Hammad said in his version: I said to him: There is no harm in it. Then both of them agreed on the version: He said: Then what?

[Cabdullahi]

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours :cry:
:muddlehea

Just be patient

[kite runner]

sister I think following a madhab makes islam a bit easier because you can follow one and have set rules, this helped me stop "fatwa searching" for rules that "met my needs" and i was following my desires rather than a strict opinion. Following a madhab doesn't mean u have to call yourself hanafi, maliki etc. it just means u follow their opinion because they were great scholars and were "nearer" to the time of the prophet (saws). Whether u follow a madhab or don't yor still following someones opinion of a certain hadith etc. so I would say follow the same one as your husband, it would make things easier :)