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anonymous
02-23-2011, 11:42 PM
Asalam alaikum

I am in my late 20s, male. I have been having a lot of mind problems that seem to be very complex. But basically my mind does not function and it has been like this for almost 5 years. What i mean by "it don't function" is I cannot think, concentrate, or use my memory. I have tried so much to get this sorted and had a lot of advice from different professionals including getting checked out for black magic, which turned out clear. So it's definately a psychological issue.

It's kind of ruined my life. I have made plenty of dua to Allah but i still await His mercy.

I haven't got married because of this. Can't work properly, can't enjoy my life, can't even read my salah sometimes. Everyday is a struggle. I can't carry on like this.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel i have lost my inner strength. Please make dua for me.

Your brother in Islam. imsad
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ardianto
02-24-2011, 03:35 AM
Wa' alaikumsalam, my brother.

If you had an idea to make this post, it's means you can think. If you could write this post, it's means you can concentrate. If you still remember you have a problem, it's means you don't lost your memory. So, nothing wrong with your brain, it's just a common psychological problem that called depression.

Different than many people assumption, depression is not psychiatric problem but psychological problem. You don't need any drug to cure it but you need a strong motivation to leave your depression and you need to do some actions.

Try to relax, bro, start with smile. Smile can makes you feel better. Do some positive activities and have a hobby. Your activities and hobby can fill your mind and expel problems that annoy your mind. Do some little good deeds everyday, give a little help to the people , in example, when you see an old person has a problem to cross the road, help him to cross the road. Give a little help to the people would makes you realize if your presence in the world has a benefit for the world and for the people. Do socialization and build relationship with more people, it would makes you realize if you are not alone, it would make you realize if everyone has problems, even many of them have heavier problems than yours. And don't ever forget to say "Alhamdulillah" every time you feel better.

I know it's not easy to start. But you must sure you can because everyone here sure you can. Remember, no one can help you in this matter if you don't help yourself.

So, can you ? ........................ Good !, that's my brother ! . :)
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anonymous
02-24-2011, 11:40 AM
brother how come i don't feel depressed if it is depression? It's as if my mind has shut down completely. I have a constant headache especially in the mornings or when i do something that requires a bit of thinking. What ever i tell myself my mind does not take in. I feel like a complete retard. In fact when i feel sad about my situation my headache lightens, my mind clears up, i can think, i can recall, i can concentrate, even though it is not like my normal self. If anything this is causing me to get depressed. I know that it was caused by quite bad anxiety. Me being scared of my mind shutting down because it happened in a previous situation which caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. Then this anxiety continued and then my mind would just stop working, my memory, concentration, everything. Which made me more anxious. At first it went away several times but now feel constant and has done for last 2 years.

I can't believe that this is mere depression. It's just too severe and i have done the hobby stuff and going to work, which was and still is extremely difficult, for 3 years. But things have not changed. Why?

I have prayed to Allah so much but i see no change? Why won't my Lord help me when i am in most need of help? Before this happened when i missed my salah i used to cry. Now i'm lucky if i can read a few salah's a day and even then i get no peace or anything from them imsad

Because of this i have done a lot of stupid stuff, sinning, which i would never have dreamed off yet i don't feel a thing? I try to cry but just one or two tears and it is very difficult.

It's as if what ever things worked in the past my mind has just attacks it so that it doesn't work for me any more. My mind will not take anything in. What am i doing wrong? Why does this feel as if it is more difficult than anything in this world? I seriously don't know how anyone would get through such a thing and i hope not even my worst enemy was to experience the things that i have experienced in the last 5 years.

I just want people to say "its ok to feel sad." "You have been through a lot." "They would too if they were in my shoes." I don't want to be strong and fight this anymore because it has not got me anywhere. But rather just feel and let it pass i suppose. I just want a bit of comforting that's all :cry:

This is not just a one day experience but over 5 years :exhausted. I don't want anything or care about anything else but just want my mind to go back to its normal self so that i can be a good muslim and help others and only Allah knows if i helped when i was my normal self. Oh Allah is this too much to ask? You are the most merciful, the most kind, the most powerful, oh Allah this is nothing for you. Please take away this pain and suffering because i don't know if i can take it anymore. imsad I'm at the weakest a man could be and i come to thee for your help and guidance. I have tried so many different avenues and had the courage to go do many things in this state. But why has nothing helped me?

wa salam
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ardianto
02-24-2011, 01:06 PM
I am still here if you want to talk to me. But if you need an advice from someone about your question about Allah, ........... you can call brother Hamza. :)
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IbnAbdulHakim
02-24-2011, 01:16 PM
have you tried drinking zamzam with the intention of getting better?

or perhaps black seed oil with the intention of getting better?


Have you tried reciting surah fatihah during your difficult periods with the intention of it being a shifa for you?

Have you tried bathing/repenting and then asking Allah for something good?



Allah never turns away his servants my brother, never :).


Just ask him in the right way and even if it appears your situation isnt improving Allah is listening. And whatever he is doing, believe in your heart its in your best interest.


Once you can understand things are going as they should be, inshAllah you should start feeling better.



The other day i watched an old lady pass away, during her last hours the people looked at every breath she was taking waiting for it to finish.


its funny.. they choose that time to start counting the breaths...
Reply

Dagless
02-24-2011, 01:48 PM
If this is continuing why hasn't your doctor referred you to a psych or neurologist? You need to see your doc again, tell him how much this is affecting you and make him take things further. Insha'Allah things will get better.
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anonymous
02-25-2011, 12:53 AM
jazakallah for the replies.

Yes i have drank zam zam water for shifa. I have been for ruqya, I read surah fatihah with the intention that it is a cure daily. I have put a ayat on some paper and put in water to drink. I have read a surah and blown it on water to drink. I have been to a religious scholar who read on me and in the end said that my problem was not linked to black magic, etc and was probably pyschological. I have been listening to the recitation of the quran for a few months. All the methods i have tried are in accordance with quran and sunnah. There was a point where my father insisted on me seeing a peer. He wrote down some words and boxes with numbers in them. I did not agree to it and even though it may have made me better i thought if it goes against the quran and sunnah and even may be shirk, i rather be this way. But this is so tough.

I have also done acts that are pleasing to Allah and then made dua with his beautiful names and sending salutations to the prophet (pbuh). I have corrected my tawheed and fundamental beliefs in line with the quran and sunnah. I have tried distancing myself from innovations and things that may lead to shirk.

I have fasted even though it was very difficult compared to my normal self. I have read my salah as much as i can. I read my taraweeh salah also. All this so Allah would help me.
I know Allah is doing everything for the best but i just can't imagine how anybody could go through this much suffering. I sometimes imagine if somebody else went through what i've been through and i'm almost certain they would end their life. Alhamdulillah that is not an option for me. However i do sometimes wish Allah would take my soul.

I have been to a psychologist. He was a waist of time and made my problem worse than it actually was. The doctor just wants to give me anti depressants which i took for 3 months without single difference. So gave up on them. I mean when i feel depressed and low that is when i feel the mental symptoms go away so why would i want pills to make me feel happy when the feeling of depression is not the problem?? I have studied CBT and done it for almost 2 years actively. Yet i'm still the same.

Honestly i believe i have been as patient as one could be but it is so difficult and it's hard to explain unless you have experienced it how bad it is. I can't think my self out of this. By Allah i was blessed with a brilliant mind. Amazing photographic memory, thought, everything. I never stressed about a thing. Was always calm, smiling, laughing, now i look in the mirror and i see a ugly person. Someone i don't recognise anymore. No personality, no spark, nothing just wasting away struggling every single day, constant headache.

But all i know is that it was 100% caused by anxiety. But i don't feel anxious now however the mind is still not working.

I just wanted to let it out because i tend to keep all this in between myself and Allah. And i have ran out of ideas. I really need to see some change now otherwise i don't know what i can do anymore.

I have been very patient honestly. I just feel if i could think straight i could get myself out of this.

If you would like to ask me any questions then please go ahead as i think i need some fresh ideas now because the ones i have got are getting tired.

I know it may sound as if i have a technical problem but sometimes the simplest answers are the best.

Inshallah we can work something out here. Maybe Allah has made me come here so that some brother or sister may benefit me.

May Allah reward you.

Wa salam
Reply

Muslim Woman
02-25-2011, 01:06 AM
Salaam br

pl. remember :

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope 2:286

a related story:
Yunus ibn Ubayd said that a man complained to him of the constricted state he was experiencing, and Yunus asked him, "Would you be pleased to be given one hundred thousand dirhams for the sight with which you see?"

The man replied, "No."

Yunus asked, "Then for your feet?" The man replied, "No."

He reminded him of Allah's blessings which He had given him.

Then Yunus said, "I see that you have hundreds of thousands and you complain about your needs!
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
02-26-2011, 12:12 AM
in that case my dear brother

i honestly feel that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are more stable then the majority of this world.



start counting your blessings :)
Reply

Dagless
02-26-2011, 07:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I have been to a psychologist. He was a waist of time and made my problem worse than it actually was. The doctor just wants to give me anti depressants which i took for 3 months without single difference. So gave up on them. I mean when i feel depressed and low that is when i feel the mental symptoms go away so why would i want pills to make me feel happy when the feeling of depression is not the problem?? I have studied CBT and done it for almost 2 years actively. Yet i'm still the same.
I see you have been trying hard for help. There are many other drugs out there, although I'm not encouraging their use. Maybe you can get a second or third opinion? Have you tried posting on medical/mental health forums? I pray you find a solution soon.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
02-28-2011, 12:38 PM
Wa alaykum us-Salaam

Just some thoughts, you dont have to answer them, but just think about them.

what is your life style like? do you sleep and eat well? i.e do you have sufficient and moderate amount of eat and sleep?

what is life at home like? is it peaceful? do you fight with your siblings?
what about your family in general? what is your relationship with them? do you get along with your parents (very important in leading a healthy life)

are you stressed? this alone may be the cause of some of your probelms. stress can have a neative affect on howyou function.
Reply

cat eyes
02-28-2011, 09:52 PM
have you thought about seeking some professional advice about this problem u have? its sounds like depression brother. i suffer from depression also which im on tablets for at the moment and my concentration is really bad.
Reply

Ramadhan
03-01-2011, 03:03 AM
Do you have close friends?

I believe having close friends where you can share both intimate or just mundane details of your life may help your mental health.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-03-2011, 06:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
jazakallah for the replies.

Yes i have drank zam zam water for shifa. I have been for ruqya, I read surah fatihah with the intention that it is a cure daily. I have put a ayat on some paper and put in water to drink. I have read a surah and blown it on water to drink. I have been to a religious scholar who read on me and in the end said that my problem was not linked to black magic, etc and was probably pyschological. I have been listening to the recitation of the quran for a few months. All the methods i have tried are in accordance with quran and sunnah. There was a point where my father insisted on me seeing a peer. He wrote down some words and boxes with numbers in them. I did not agree to it and even though it may have made me better i thought if it goes against the quran and sunnah and even may be shirk, i rather be this way. But this is so tough.

I have also done acts that are pleasing to Allah and then made dua with his beautiful names and sending salutations to the prophet (pbuh). I have corrected my tawheed and fundamental beliefs in line with the quran and sunnah. I have tried distancing myself from innovations and things that may lead to shirk.

I have fasted even though it was very difficult compared to my normal self. I have read my salah as much as i can. I read my taraweeh salah also. All this so Allah would help me.
I know Allah is doing everything for the best but i just can't imagine how anybody could go through this much suffering. I sometimes imagine if somebody else went through what i've been through and i'm almost certain they would end their life. Alhamdulillah that is not an option for me. However i do sometimes wish Allah would take my soul.

I have been to a psychologist. He was a waist of time and made my problem worse than it actually was. The doctor just wants to give me anti depressants which i took for 3 months without single difference. So gave up on them. I mean when i feel depressed and low that is when i feel the mental symptoms go away so why would i want pills to make me feel happy when the feeling of depression is not the problem?? I have studied CBT and done it for almost 2 years actively. Yet i'm still the same.

Honestly i believe i have been as patient as one could be but it is so difficult and it's hard to explain unless you have experienced it how bad it is. I can't think my self out of this. By Allah i was blessed with a brilliant mind. Amazing photographic memory, thought, everything. I never stressed about a thing. Was always calm, smiling, laughing, now i look in the mirror and i see a ugly person. Someone i don't recognise anymore. No personality, no spark, nothing just wasting away struggling every single day, constant headache.

But all i know is that it was 100% caused by anxiety. But i don't feel anxious now however the mind is still not working.

I just wanted to let it out because i tend to keep all this in between myself and Allah. And i have ran out of ideas. I really need to see some change now otherwise i don't know what i can do anymore.

I have been very patient honestly. I just feel if i could think straight i could get myself out of this.

If you would like to ask me any questions then please go ahead as i think i need some fresh ideas now because the ones i have got are getting tired.

I know it may sound as if i have a technical problem but sometimes the simplest answers are the best.

Inshallah we can work something out here. Maybe Allah has made me come here so that some brother or sister may benefit me.

May Allah reward you.

Wa salam

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayran for sharing your issues with us. My dear brother what we must realise is that this life is a test and surely we will be tested rigorously. Not anyone can enter Jannah for there is a small price to pay but this small price enables one to gain ETERNITY of bliss. The road to Jannah is not easy for it is surrounded by thorns and hardships as well as adversities and trials. What will make Jannah that bit sweeter is the fact that we would have endured so many hardships and trials in our lives by the time our death arrives. Therefore we must remain steadfast and patient through tests.

My brother it is time you realise why Allah is testing you and what you can do to remain patient and steadfast through the trials and tests you are going through. The way we can get through hardships and difficult tests that we may be going through in life is to firstly internalise in our minds that this life is a test ground and we are in an examination but we do not know when this examination will end but whilst the examination is taking place we are being rigorously tested and at times we are tested until breaking piont just to see whether or not we will turn towards Allah or go away from him.

We must also internalise that Allah ONLY tests those who he wants close to him. Therefore the tests that we go through in our lives clearly show Allah is wanting us to turn towards him and be closer to him. This is in fact a great privelage. The greater the tests we go through the more Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hereafter.

Therefore if we really want to know the best way to approach huge trials and tests then we should simply realise that the bigger the tests we are going through then the higher Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hererafter. Trials are a truly blessing in disguise. All Allah wants from us is for us to turn towards him in meekness and humbleness and for us to be patient and to turn to him in prayer and dua. Picture that fact that Allah loves it when his servant is in desperate need, crying to him for help for Allah tends to those who cry and sob to him immediatley just as a mother tends to its baby promptly when it is crying.

We should also internalise the fact that tests actually differentiate us believers from one another in terms of ranking in the eyes of Allah and therefore we should know that those who are tested and are patient are forgiven of their sins as sins falls off a person who is patient through trials just. Therefore we should realise that us being tested with trials and tests will NEVER go unrewarded for Allah rewards how much he wants to those who are patient through trials and those who turn towards him in humility and meekness.

It may be that a person who has experienced great trials in the world faces Allah on the day of judgement with little or no sins. So tests are a way of Allah forgiving a person of their sins so that on the day of judgement they have a much lighter load. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has called the day of judgement a "terrible" day and surely on this terrible day we would want as less sins as possible in our accounts if we are to be successful. Therefore these trials and tests are very important for us because they enable us to be forgiven for countless sins that would be a huge burden on us if it were in our accounts but due to the huge tests we faced with patience turning to Allah then it may be that we have very little or no sins at all on that day. The greater the trial the more sins fall off us. So know that even a prick of a thorn expiates ones sins.

We should also approach hardships and tests as in that it is the decree of Allah so we should NEVER ask Allah "Why" has he given us such trials? For questioning Allah why he has decreed something will mean that not only have we gone through so much grief and torment from these trials but that we have actually added to our sins by questioning Allah and we will be accountable for that.

Patience is one of the greatest attributes a person can acquire and Allah is with those who are patient and the reward for Patience is Paradise!

If one is patient, and is among the ones described in the following manner in the Qur’an (Baqarah, 2: 256)

Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-

Then here are the rewards Allah will give that person (2:157):

The Rewards of Patience are the folowing:

1. Blessings from Allah: The patient person is blessed by Allah.

2. Mercy of Allah: When Allah gives someone His Mercy, He will let him enter paradise with His Mercy.

3. Guidance of Allah: A patient person will be guided by Allah in this world until he meets Him on the Day of Judgment.

Referring to those who are tested and endure with Sabr or patience all of the above three rewards are mentioned by Allah Himself in the Qur’an in Surah Baqarah (2: 157):

“They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.”

In Surah Hud (11:11), Allah (S.W.T.) again promises to reward those who are patient in adversity.

Therefore let us realise that patience is the main thing Allah is looking for in us when we are going through trials and tests.

Here are two wonderful examples of patience through trials in the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) :

‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say: “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?”I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease? ‘ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’ The woman said: ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered. ‘ So the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her.” [Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]

Story of ‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair

‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair had an operation, and the doctor amputated his leg. One friend came to visit him. ‘Urwah thought that the fried came to pacify him for the loss of his leg. So ‘Urwah told the visitor: If you came to give me condolence for the loss of my leg, I already submitted to Allah with patience to reward me for its loss. The guest told him, I came to inform you that your son fell down in a stable, and the animals stepped over him, and he died one hour ago. ‘Urwah said: O Allah! You took one child, and left me many…You took one organ from my body, and left me many organs…O Allah! You tested me with my body, and you were kind to leave me with good health. You tested me with the loss of my son, but you were kind in leaving me the rest of my children.


We should also approach tests as in we should look at those who have less than us. We have clean tap water and food on our plates everyday. We have clean clothes washed regularly and shelter from the harsh weather. Whereas there are those who walk miles just for a sip of water and even then it is dirty. There are those who have the same clothes for years and cannot even wash them. There are those who go days without proper food and even then they have scraps and end up being malnourished. There are those like in the flood disaster recently who have no shelter and are exposed to terrible diseases. Those who have little or no money to buy even basic things aswell as medication for their sick family members. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) always told us to look at those who have less than us.

My brother whenever any of us is tested with hardship or trial then we think to ourselves "Surely no one is going through as much hardship as me". But this is a pure deception. You may see a person who looks happy but you know not what they are going through in life.

Sometimes when we go through great trials we get decieved into thinking that other people that we see around us must be living a life happy and content. We are wrong to think in this way for we do not know what goes on in peoples lives. There are many examples of those who seemed as though they have SO much and seemed so happy but when certain things were revealed then it was clear that those people were living miserable lives full of torment! We may look at a person with a smile on his face but he may be going through trials we can never imagine.

One of my friends has just last week had his intestines taken out because they do not function anymore and now he has a bag attached to his stomach and everytime it fills up he has to clean it out. This is the way he has to live for the rest of his life. There are people without water, a morsel of food shelter, basic right. I can name you thousands of trials greater than yours. So my brother let us not think we are going through the worst trials for there are people going through far worse.


Therefore when we are going through difficult times and trials then we should not look at others and think they are happy and living fulfilled lives for we do not know what any person on the street is going through on a day to day basis.

Therefore whenever we are going through difficult times and trials then we should put our full trust, hopes, faith and reliance in Allah for he will NEVER let us down but is only testing us because he wants us to turn towards him in humility, humbleness and meekness and he wants us to get much closer to him. He tests a person because he wants good for them and wants to forgive them and raise their ranks in the hereafter.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trials will continue to befall the believing man and woman, with regard to themselves, their children and their wealth, until they meet Allaah with no sin on them.”And what is more beautiful than coming before Allaah with all our sins extinguished? Is this life not but a taste and a short term home? Or would we rather live in short luxury for an eternal suffering? If cleansing of all of our sins is not enough then what is?

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Worshipping at times of tribulation and confusion is like migrating to join me.” And concerning this hadeeth, Imaam Nawawi (rahimahullaah) said: “The reason why worship at such times is of such great virtue is that people become negligent about worship and are distracted from it, and no one focuses on worship except a few.”

In reality how lucky is a person who is being tested greatly and is still patient and turning towards Allah night and day. How hig must Allah be raising his ranks and forgiving his sins on a daily basis until he is like a new born baby who has little or no sins on him at all. So the way to approach this is to realise that a person who is being tested greatly is in fact lucky but shaythan is wanting one to think opposite.

Shaythan is our eternal sworn enemy and ONLY wants us to lose hope and faith and to go away from Allah. He wants us tobecome disillusioned and lose all hope so that we go away from Alah and our deen. But we should reject our enemy who only wants our destruction. We should disregard his evil whispers and know that they are only lies and deciet.

Shaythan will try to make us think that there is no way out of this and this is because he wants us to give in and lose hope. But we must realise that if we continuously strive and keep turning towards Allah and be patient then the final victory WILL be ours! We will taste the sweetness of victory but in order to taste this victory we need to fight and strive through the tests and trials that life throws at us!

Imam Ibn'l Qayyim (Rahimahullah) said:

The divine decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired), and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial, and an affliction that has befallen him is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease!

Unfortunately, due to the ignorance of the worshipper, and his transgressions, he does not consider anything to be a gift or a blessing or a cure unless he can enjoy it immediately, and it is in accordance with his nature. If he were only given a little bit of understanding, then he would have counted being withheld from as a blessing, and the sickness as a mercy, and he would relish the trouble that befalls him more than he relishes his ease, and he would enjoy poverty more than he enjoys richness, and he would be more thankful when he is blessed with little than when he is blessed with a lot.

If one who is going through great trials continues to turn towards Allah in humility, meekness and in humblenes then know that the reward one will gain will be unimaginable. On the day of judgement once we see the reward of being patient through great trials turning towards Allah in humility then we would want Allah to have tested us even more so that we could have wreaped the rewards of being patient and turning towards Allah through trials and hardships. It is only on the day of judgement will we truly realise how much we have missed out on and how much more we wished we were tested by Allah so that our ranks were even higher.

No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere it will never come your way but if it is yours by destiny from you it cannot flee. (Umar Ibn al-Khattab Radiyallahu Anhu)

So the Reward of going through terrible trials and hardships immense!

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah Allah's Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world." (Al-Tirmidhi #1570)

So remember: Victory, relief and ease comes with patience through distress and hardship

Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Know that victory comes with patience, relief with distress and ease with hardship.” (Reported by Ahmad)

Therefore let us realise that the bigger trials and hardships we go through in this life then the more rewards we will gain in the hereafter as long as we are patient and are constantly turning towards Allah.

In the hereafter when we see the rewards of going through trials and hardships then we will all wish that we wen through the WORST trials possible for the longest amount of time.

So my brother know that as long as you remain patient and steadfast even though it may be hard then know that your sins will fall off like the autumn leaves and you may face Allah with little or no sins when there will be people facing Allah with mountains of sins!

Allah is with you as long as you are patient and for your life time of patience which is such a little cost then you will gain ETERNITY OF BLISS! Subhaanallah

So my brother repent to Allah for any sins minor or major that you have committed and for ever questioning Allah. Strive as much as you can evertyday to get closer to him. Worship him as much as you can and make the Hereafter your focus! Our death can come upon us at any second so we have no time to waste. Every second wasted now will NEVER return to us. Your so lucky Allah is favouring you by giving you such trials so that you can gain such high positions in the Hereafter and recieve so much forgiveness and mercy! What you have is a blessing in disguise so NEVER think otherwise!

May Allah make us patient through adversity, trials and hardships. Ameen

Finally: " Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin." Al-Hasan Al-Basree
Reply

anonymous
03-04-2011, 12:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dagless
I see you have been trying hard for help. There are many other drugs out there, although I'm not encouraging their use. Maybe you can get a second or third opinion? Have you tried posting on medical/mental health forums? I pray you find a solution soon.
I'm thinking of trying some medicine again. Can't remember the last time i actually fealt good. Must be like 2 years!!

format_quote Originally Posted by cat eyes
have you thought about seeking some professional advice about this problem u have? its sounds like depression brother. i suffer from depression also which im on tablets for at the moment and my concentration is really bad.
Salam. Did you find your memory coming back with medicine and was your mind able to function properly?

format_quote Originally Posted by naidamar
Do you have close friends?

I believe having close friends where you can share both intimate or just mundane details of your life may help your mental health.
Yes i have shared my problem with a couple of friends. Not made a difference though.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
Wa alaykum us-Salaam

Just some thoughts, you dont have to answer them, but just think about them.

what is your life style like? do you sleep and eat well? i.e do you have sufficient and moderate amount of eat and sleep?

what is life at home like? is it peaceful? do you fight with your siblings?
what about your family in general? what is your relationship with them? do you get along with your parents (very important in leading a healthy life)

are you stressed? this alone may be the cause of some of your probelms. stress can have a neative affect on howyou function.
I sleep about 8 hours a day on average. But i can't remember the last time i had a refreshing sleep. I still feel tired in the morning. Wake up with a bad headache which is there throughout the day.

Life at home is good. Family is quite good. Obviously we have our problems like many families do but i do get some peace. I don't fight with siblings. Parents are fine.

I only get stressed if i try something but can't do it or struggle to do it but i have to do it or have that expectation to do it. That is understandable though. But stress is not the issue though initially there was a lot of stress which lead to this.

The main problem is my mind. It won't function. I get negative thoughts that i can't deal with which lead to a lot of distress. I can't answer basic questions due to the way my mind is which lead to a lot of stress and anxiety when in that situation. If my mind was clear i would get through this no doubt. I'll try my best to describe how it is like to you. Just say you close your eyes. Now picture a green tree and a blue bird. Make it real. If i do the same. I can't picture it. It is as if my mind is shut down when its like this. My access to my memory is cut off so i can't just recall stuff or just remember stuff, etc. My concentration becomes terrible. The headache comes on. I can't feel much apart from occasional anxiety. If i laugh or smile its a fake one. Don't get any feeling inside. When it first happened my mind would clear up and then i could think and everything. This used to happen on and off for about 1.5 years. Then after that it pretty much went constantly like this. Some of the thoughts i get are so stupid but they feel real to me. Or like things that would never make me stressed will make me stressed easily. I can't control my thoughts like i did before and i get a lot of thoughts that come into my head randomly. My appetite is not as good as before. I do sometimes worry about stupid things but then sometimes i don't worry about a thing and just don't care. I feel tired sometimes so fatigued, when i sit down it feels like i'm climbing a mountain just to get up. My mind affects what i do on a daily basis. Everyday is hard work. My personality has changed dramatically. I used to be so funny, well i would laugh at my own jokes, but now if i watch a comedy programme i don't laugh or feel much at all. I actually don't find it that funny. My behaviour has changed significantly. I used to love studying now my day is waisted on things that have no real value like on the net. I still do things that i once enjoyed like going out for meals, or meeting up with friends, or playing video games, but get little or no pleasure out of them. I spend a lot of time in my room on my own. But i still spend time with my family so its not an isolation or feeling lonely thing. I don't feel sad really even though i can't work, i can't do the things i would like, i can't enjoy them like other people do. The thing that sometimes gets me is knowing that i have so much potential under all this but its all being eaten away and i feel as if, after trying for 5 years, that i can't do anything will probably stay like this a little longer. I even got a masters degree with my mind like this. Something that would have been relatively easy for me became one of the hardest things i had ever done.

It feels as if life is just passing me by and that i have not achieved much religiously, academically or having a family of my own. My expectations are low of myself even though i might have been a bit of a perfectionist which may have contributed to this problem at the initial stages.

One thing that is fact is when my mind cleared up in the past everything came back, all my memory, concentration, i could think freely and deal with any thoughts easily. I also can feel.

But when my mind is like it is now all those things go out of the window and i become mentally retarded and i can't feel much. Of course i agree that life is a test and we all are tested. However when the thing that is the main tool to help you through the test i.e. your mind, that is the actual problem and the cause of all the issues, then the test becomes one that is prone to failure. I see people who are tested like say crash a car, get robbed, break an arm, have divorce, etc and think to myself how easy would those tests be for me had my mind been normal. Because what you tell yourself in your mind, or the meaning that you form from an event, the beliefs that you hold or make are what get you through such trials. But when the thing that makes the meanings, where beliefs are formed, where you tell yourself that it'll be alright, does not work then how do we get through such trials??

I honestly feel in the past 5 years i have been through hell and i'm not a person who likes to complain and i am a very patient person but everyone has limits. If i had a choice of illnesses then this would probably be last on my list. I truly believe that you can only understand how difficult this is if you actually experienced it. Until i get better in the mean time please make dua for me.

Allah knows best
Reply

anonymous
03-04-2011, 12:22 AM
On a many occasions i have fealt putting a 12inch long nail through my temple would be less painful than this or by doing it it would ease the pain in my mind. Obviously i'm not going to try it may just give you a small idea of how bad it actually can get.
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-04-2011, 03:33 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous


I sleep about 8 hours a day on average. But i can't remember the last time i had a refreshing sleep. I still feel tired in the morning. Wake up with a bad headache which is there throughout the day.

Life at home is good. Family is quite good. Obviously we have our problems like many families do but i do get some peace. I don't fight with siblings. Parents are fine.

I only get stressed if i try something but can't do it or struggle to do it but i have to do it or have that expectation to do it. That is understandable though. But stress is not the issue though initially there was a lot of stress which lead to this.

The main problem is my mind. It won't function. I get negative thoughts that i can't deal with which lead to a lot of distress. I can't answer basic questions due to the way my mind is which lead to a lot of stress and anxiety when in that situation. If my mind was clear i would get through this no doubt. I'll try my best to describe how it is like to you. Just say you close your eyes. Now picture a green tree and a blue bird. Make it real. If i do the same. I can't picture it. It is as if my mind is shut down when its like this. My access to my memory is cut off so i can't just recall stuff or just remember stuff, etc. My concentration becomes terrible. The headache comes on. I can't feel much apart from occasional anxiety. If i laugh or smile its a fake one. Don't get any feeling inside. When it first happened my mind would clear up and then i could think and everything. This used to happen on and off for about 1.5 years. Then after that it pretty much went constantly like this. Some of the thoughts i get are so stupid but they feel real to me. Or like things that would never make me stressed will make me stressed easily. I can't control my thoughts like i did before and i get a lot of thoughts that come into my head randomly. My appetite is not as good as before. I do sometimes worry about stupid things but then sometimes i don't worry about a thing and just don't care. I feel tired sometimes so fatigued, when i sit down it feels like i'm climbing a mountain just to get up. My mind affects what i do on a daily basis. Everyday is hard work. My personality has changed dramatically. I used to be so funny, well i would laugh at my own jokes, but now if i watch a comedy programme i don't laugh or feel much at all. I actually don't find it that funny. My behaviour has changed significantly. I used to love studying now my day is waisted on things that have no real value like on the net. I still do things that i once enjoyed like going out for meals, or meeting up with friends, or playing video games, but get little or no pleasure out of them. I spend a lot of time in my room on my own. But i still spend time with my family so its not an isolation or feeling lonely thing. I don't feel sad really even though i can't work, i can't do the things i would like, i can't enjoy them like other people do. The thing that sometimes gets me is knowing that i have so much potential under all this but its all being eaten away and i feel as if, after trying for 5 years, that i can't do anything will probably stay like this a little longer. I even got a masters degree with my mind like this. Something that would have been relatively easy for me became one of the hardest things i had ever done.

It feels as if life is just passing me by and that i have not achieved much religiously, academically or having a family of my own. My expectations are low of myself even though i might have been a bit of a perfectionist which may have contributed to this problem at the initial stages.

One thing that is fact is when my mind cleared up in the past everything came back, all my memory, concentration, i could think freely and deal with any thoughts easily. I also can feel.

But when my mind is like it is now all those things go out of the window and i become mentally retarded and i can't feel much. Of course i agree that life is a test and we all are tested. However when the thing that is the main tool to help you through the test i.e. your mind, that is the actual problem and the cause of all the issues, then the test becomes one that is prone to failure. I see people who are tested like say crash a car, get robbed, break an arm, have divorce, etc and think to myself how easy would those tests be for me had my mind been normal. Because what you tell yourself in your mind, or the meaning that you form from an event, the beliefs that you hold or make are what get you through such trials. But when the thing that makes the meanings, where beliefs are formed, where you tell yourself that it'll be alright, does not work then how do we get through such trials??

I honestly feel in the past 5 years i have been through hell and i'm not a person who likes to complain and i am a very patient person but everyone has limits. If i had a choice of illnesses then this would probably be last on my list. I truly believe that you can only understand how difficult this is if you actually experienced it. Until i get better in the mean time please make dua for me.

Allah knows best
Asalaamu Alaikum, My brother many of us who are going through difficulties and hardships think that we have the worst of trials because obviously we are the ones who are going through it but we do not know what others are going through or how their trial is truly affecting them for we can only assume.

Therefore we should never think that we are worse off than others because there are many more difficult trials and hardships than what we are going through. There are many more serious and debilitating mental conditions than what you have and judging by your writing it seems as though you are quite an intelligent and articulate person and there are those with such conditions that they are unable to even write anymore that is how much their mental condition has affected them. it does seem like you have some sort of anxiety related mental condition but Allah knows best because it is a trial for you just like most people in this world are given trials and tests.

We must never not assume they are better off because this is a deception of shaythan and the perfect way of him making you feel like Allah has wronged you by giving you such a condition when the fact is that you have been given a blessing and those who Allah wants closest to him are given the biggest of trials. We must NEVER question Allah but accept his decree for he knows best about all matters. I guarantee you on the day of judgement if you were to see a glimpse of the possible reward available to those who remain patient through difficult trials then you will wish you had even worser trials where you were cut into little pieices:

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah Allah's Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world." (Al-Tirmidhi #1570)


My brother you must not let shaythan make you lose or give up hope for he is your eternal sworn enemy who wants you to give up and lose hope so that you go away from Allah and eventually get worse. You must realise that this is a trial and accept it as the decree of Allah and know that it is a blessing in disguise.

You must be steadfast and patient and know that the road to Jannah is a very rocky one full of thorns and difficulties along the way. But if you remain patient as hard as it may be then know that you will be victorious in the end and the victory will truly be so sweet indeed and will last FOREVER!

Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin." Al-Hasan Al-Basree

These will help you through your trials and difficulties inshallah:

The Comforting words of Allah during hardships and trials

Verily, with the hardship,
there is relief
(i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs). [ Al-Inshirah 94:6]

"Peace unto you for that ye persevered in patience! Now how excellent is the final home!"
Excellent indeed is the final home!" [ Ar-Rad 13:24]

"...Do not regard it an evil to you;
nay, it is good for you...." [An- Nuur 24:11]

"...So put your trust (in Allaah)
if ye are indeed believers." [Al-Maida 5:23]

"O ye who believe!
Seek help in steadfastness
and prayer.
Lo! Allaah is with the steadfast." [Al-Baqarah 2:153]

"And certainly,
We shall test you with something
of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits,
but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
Who, when afflicted with calamity,
say: "Truly! To Allaah we belong
and truly, to Him we shall return." [ Al-Baqara 2: 155~156]

"And He will provide him
from (sources)
He never could imagine.
And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah,
then HE will suffice him.
Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose.
Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things." [ At-Talaq 65:3]

"Verily We have created man
into toil and struggle." [ Al-Balad 90:4]

Know that when you have problems or in difficulty, then it is by Allaah's permission for HE says:

"Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us
except what Allaah has ordained for us.
He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)."
And in Allaah
let the believers put their trust." [At-Taubah 9:51]

"No kind of calamity can occur,
except by the leave of Allaah
And if any one believes in Allaah,
{Allaah} guides his heart (aright):
for Allaah knows all things." [At-Taghabun 64:11]

"...There did Allaah give you one distress after another
by way of requital
to teach you not to grieve
for that which had escaped you,
nor for that which had befallen you.
And Allaah is Well Aware of all that you do." [Al-Imran 3:153]


And Allah knows best in all matters
Reply

Hamza Asadullah
03-04-2011, 03:39 AM
Here are some beneficial dua's for you to learn and recite each day:

Supplication for anxiety and sorrow

http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34

Supplication for one in distress

http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=35


Ways To Strengthen One’s Memory


It is human nature to be forgetful, as the Arab poet said:


“He is only called man (insân) because of his forgetfulness (nasiyân), and it is only called the heart (al-qalb) because it changes so rapidly (yataqallib).”

In the past they said that the first one to forget (awwal nâsin) was the first man (awwal al-nâs), meaning Adam, peace be upon him. Forgetfulness is something that varies from person to person according to each individual’s nature; some may be more forgetful than others. Some of the things that may help to combat forgetfulness are the following:

1. Keeping away from sin, because the bad effects of sin result in a bad memory and the inability to retain knowledge. The darkness of sin cannot co-exist with the light of knowledge. The following words were attributed to al-Shâfi‘î, may Allâh have mercy on him:

“I complained to [my shaykh] Wakî’ about my bad memory, and he taught me that I should keep away from sin. He said that knowledge of Allâh is light, and the light of Allâh is not given to the sinner.”


Al-Khatîb reported in al-Jâmi‘ (2/387) that Yahya ibn Yahya said:

“A man asked Mâlik ibn Anas, ‘O Abu ‘Abd-Allâh! Is there anything that will improve my memory?’ He said, ‘If anything will improve it, it is giving up sin.’”


When a person commits a sin, it overwhelms him and this leads to anxiety and sorrow which keeps him busy thinking about what he has done. This dulls his senses and distracts him from many beneficial things, including seeking knowledge.

2. Frequently remembering Allâh, may He be glorified, by reciting dhikr, tasbîh (saying‘Subhan Allâh’), tahmîd (‘Al-hamdu Lillâh’ ), tahlîl (‘Lâ ilâha ill-Allâh’) and takbîr (‘Allâhu akbar’), etc. Allâh says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…And remember your Lord when you forget…” [al-Kahf 18:24]


3. Not eating too much, because eating too much makes one sleep too much and become lazy, and it dulls the senses, besides exposing one to the risk of physical diseases. Most of the diseases which we see result from food and drink.

4. Some of the scholars have mentioned certain foods which increase the memory, such as drinking honey and eating raisins and chewing certain kinds of gum resin.

Imâm al-Zuhrî said:

“You should eat honey because it is good for the memory.”


He also said:

“Whoever wants to memorize hadîth should eat raisins.” (From al-Jâmi‘ by al-Khatîb, 2/394)

It is also said that eating nuts such as Almonds improve memory aswell.


Ibrâhîm ibn [sth. omitted] said,

“You should chew resin gum, because it is Ways To Strengthen One’s Memory


As they mentioned, too much acidic food is one of the causes of laziness and weak memory.

5. Another thing that can help the memory and reduce forgetfulness is cupping (hijâmah) of the head, as is well known from experience. (For more information see Al-Tibb al-Nabawi by Ibn al-Qayyim). And Allâh knows best.

6) Frequently remembering Allaah, may He be glorified, by reciting Dhikr, Tasbeeh (saying Subhan Allaah), Tahmeed (Al-hamdu Lillaah), Tahleel (Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah) and Takbeer (Allaahu Akbar), etc. Allaah Ta'ala says (interpretation of the meaning): "And remember your Lord when you forget" [al-Kahf 18:24] .

7) Recite: ربى زدنى علما

Transliteration: 'Rabbi Zidni Ilma'

Translation: 'O my Lord, increase my knowledge'

It may be recited as many time as possible. (Aamale Qurani)

8) Or recite the Du'a below, twenty times after the morning prayers. (Aamale Qurani) :

رب اشرح لى صدرى و يسرلى امرى واحلل عقدة من لسانى يفقهو قولى

Transliteration: 'Rab-bish-rahlee Sadree wa-Yassirlee Amree Wa-hlul U'qdatam Mil-lisaanee Yafqahu Qaulee'

(Musa) said: "O my Lord! Expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech. So they may understand what I say" (Ta Ha, 25:28)


How to strengthen your Memory Video Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQRZocj0CL8


And Allah Knows Best in all matters
Reply

anonymous
03-15-2011, 03:14 PM
Looking at this from a different perspective.
Here is a list of symptoms that i'm experiencing (its very long so bear with me)

constant headache
anxiety - lots of it, don't make sense most of the time, such silly things my mind makes real and believes causing more anxiety
vision blurred up
memory extremely bad
concentration terrible
no feelings of emotion most times
uncontrollable thoughts coming in to my mind
find it extremely difficult to think
extremely difficult to picture anything in my head
don't enjoy hardly a thing, don't get much pleasure out of anything
interest in activities or motivation has gone
feel stressed sometimes
can't seem to get mental peace, mind always racing
aches and pains
feeling fed up sometimes
exhausted most of the times, find everything a great effort
poor sleep not refreshing at all
hair loss due to anxiety
loss of weight about 2 stones, i was skinny as it was! look like a bean pole now!
jaw pain
stomach aches
sometimes diarhoea, sometimes constipated
loss of appetite, don't eat as i once used to
complete personality change, cannot have a laugh as i once did and get angry a lot quicker
sometimes become anxious when with a couple of people
dry mouth
don't care much about what's happening to me now
don't care much about outside things
cannot cry even if i try to, trust me i've tried
find it hard to believe people even though what they say is true
it feels as if time is just passing me by and that i'm stuck in this phase and just can't get out of it
sometimes i feel sad imsad
find it hard to relax
distorted thoughts that are probably not true like no one can help me or no one has been through this
don't care or feel for other people the way i used to
no drive or ambition left, i guess that means i feel hopeless
very low confidence
Self blame and sometimes i'm not too happy with myself
can feel my heart racing sometimes like when i walk up the a couple of stairs
mental confusion


behaviour wise i isolate myself just sometimes but still stay with family and friends go to the mosque when i can. Believe it or not i go to work a couple of days a week like this and it's sometimes the very difficult. I don't socialise half as much as i used to. Don't travel, don't do much sports, don't go to the gym, don't go to relatives, keep away from uni friends that are all working, don't have the connection with Allah that i had before even though i have tried. Basically i don't do much that i used to when i was my normal self but that's because i can't or its very difficult for me.

All this been happening for just over 5 years with short periods of relief but now constant most of the time.

Just looking at the symptoms it points to major clinical depression but i just can't get it in my head that this is all depression even though i want to believe it is, maybe that is a symptom of depression also or because my mind will not let anything in when like this.

Either way i don't know what to do or how to get out of this mess. After doing CBT for 2 years my belief is low. It messed me up a bit more i guess. I thought it would equip me to cope with this. Also medicine didn't help. Have another appointment with the doctor.

I have fealt sad before but this is in a league of its own altogether. I feel it has become a part of me now and i have lost my normal self a while ago. When i see people that have gone through divorce, lost kids, lost parents, lost spouses, and they are not like this it just makes me wonder what is wrong with me and why doesn't it get better.

One thing though, if i have been through all this things can only get better inshallah. Also i should be an expert now. If this is depression i should be happy knowing that all that is happening to me is just a feeling and that once it goes i will go return to myself. But i don't understand why i'm still like this if it is depression. I don't know why i don't feel better even though i have done CBT for 2 years.

And the thing i regret most or miss the most from all this is my connection with Allah and that maybe because of this or through my own self i have missed prayers and a couple of fasts, and have not been a good muslim the way i would if i was myself. May Allah forgive me and help me.

All praise is for Allah, the most merciful, the most kind.

wasalam
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
03-18-2011, 08:37 AM
:sl:
To be honest, i think there is 1 or 2 major problems that have blown out of proportion and that all these other little problems (lack of sleep, not being about to think, etc) are stemming from these couple of problems…

These are just my thoughts...
1. you mentioned that you were abit of a perfectionist. in what way and in regards to what exactly? did you put a lot of pressure on yourself and go into extremes when achieving a type of goal you had?

I think being a perfectionist is inherent in ones nature. People like to be neat and tidy and have things done in a specific manner and to a specific standard. However this could cause problems when they expect too much of themselves. sometimes (imo) expecting too much from oneself could be caused by unstable relationships (being teased, bullied, not being able to form stable friendships)...it could be caused by not being praised for ones efforts, being compared to another or even comparing yourself to others.

The point is, is that this leads one to not see themselves as someone who can achieve something good...basically they may not realize their potential and thus the individual begins to set "standards" for themselves (like you said, perfectionist). if these standards aren't fulfilled to their expectations, it may cause them some type of mental/emotional discomfort resulting in putting more pressure on themselves thinking they have done wrong, whereas in reality, they have merely not done things according to their standards.

So what im getting at, is that whatever you were trying to accomplish with your perfectionism, it has basically blown out of proportion to the extent where you probably dont know why you are being a perfectionist anymore, all you know is that you need to be a perfectionist.

You are probably finding yourself stuck between 2 things you want to, but cannot get yourself rid of. one, is wanting desperately to let go of this perfectionism as to rid yourself from the hardship it brings, but on the other hand you may feel scared or strange to give this up because it is so apart of your nature that you find it too difficult or too "weird" to let go of ...you not being able to think, etc is the result of this "battle."



2. You mentioned an event that caused you to get extremely stressed. Were you already a shy and timid person? and did small things tend to scare you greatly? How did you used to react tin a situation where you had to be in, but knew you couldn’t handle properly? Did you find that such a situation difficult to get out of? Did it cause you immense stress?
did you have a particular expectation that you couldn’t fulfill.


3. It seems from your posts that you may have difficulty socializing? do you feel socially awkward? is there something that you dislike about yourself that you fear and worry and that people judge you by (that thing)?

4. Is there a type of responsibility that you need to/are expected to carry out but are unable to? Is this thing


Also, from what you describe, your behavior (lack of proper sleep, etc) seems to be:
1. an indication of a type of fear. do you fear something? anything? it may not be a physical entity, it maybe something your own mind has made up. even if you deem it as insignificance, it may be bothering you without you realizing it.


2. you seem to be thinking alot about something. it seems that you desperately need to and are trying to think of something, but it isnt coming to your mind. and its not a mere thought you are trying to "capture" it is something very important to you that you cant afford not to think about it i.e you need to think about it.
thinking too much in such a short period of time is going to cause you to be come very physically tired/fatigued and because you need to think about that thing, you prevent yourself from falling asleep. so in a situation like this, you are extremely stressed out and also very physically tired.


From your other post…some things may be repeated
I sleep about 8 hours a day on average. But i can't remember the last time i had a refreshing sleep. I still feel tired in the morning. Wake up with a bad headache which is there throughout the day.

Life at home is good. Family is quite good. Obviously we have our problems like many families do but i do get some peace. I don't fight with siblings. Parents are fine.

I only get stressed if i try something but can't do it or struggle to do it but i have to do it or have that expectation to do it. That is understandable though. But stress is not the issue though initially there was a lot of stress which lead to this.
If I am understanding this right, I think you are having trouble dealing with certain things that come your way. You don’t know how to deal with hurdles when you come to them and as a result you panic and your brain shuts down. it’s not so much the problem that is bothering you, but the inability to counter the problem that you may be struggling with.

are there any situations in particular which you feel like this. i mean do you only feel like this under/due to any particular situation?

there may have been one problem and over years this has evolved into something greater...so much so that it has become second nature to you and therefore you dont realize the reason-you just know that you have the problem due to how you feel...does that make sense. to be honest, i think this how it maybe, just simply due to personal experience.

what may be adding to your problem, is that as you get stressed, you are putting pressure on yourself to accomplish that thing that you need to get accomplished, but when you cant accomplish that thing, you get more stressed.



The main problem is my mind. It won't function. I get negative thoughts that i can't deal with which lead to a lot of distress. I can't answer basic questions due to the way my mind is which lead to a lot of stress and anxiety when in that situation. If my mind was clear i would get through this no doubt.
what kind of thoughts do you get? and what (or perhaps whom) is the negatively directed towards? what is the "aim" of your negatively? do people ask you questions which embarrass you? do the people who ask you questions, is there something about them which you find critical or funny or just generally something you dont particularly agree with and so this will cause you to think bad about them

I'll try my best to describe how it is like to you. Just say you close your eyes. Now picture a green tree and a blue bird. Make it real. If i do the same. I can't picture it. It is as if my mind is shut down when its like this.
if you cant picture what you need to, (as you described a tree, etc) what instead crosses your mind? if your mind is not preoccupied with something, it is bound to be preoccupied by something else. so what exactly replaces what you are supposed to be thinking about?
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