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ashabanu05
03-22-2011, 05:10 AM
Salam everyone
Happy to be a member of this forum..Hope i meet many good islamic brothers & sisters here.Alhamdhulillah..!!
I was searching for good islamic forum where i can share my feelings and make myself in peace & patience.Yes i lost my new born boy baby last month(which was my first baby)
Whole family was eager to welcome the baby.It was a cesarian,at Feb 10th(thursday) 9:30pm,once the baby was born i heard him crying,i could realise it well.So,i thought my baby was fine,but then the baby was unable to breath once it was clamped from my placenta.the baby had some congenital anomalies.The baby changed into blue.They rushed taking it to the nearby hospital.It was ventillated and kept in incubator.But in vain,Dr. lost the hope and conveyed to my husband that the baby is abnormal and cannot survive anymore.So,Dr. left the decision to my husband.The baby left the world at Feb11th(friday) 3:00pm.Once discharged,the baby was brought home,it was given bath,given a name as "Mohammed Arshad" and was taken.The time was around 4:30pm,Asr Prayer,Fortunately,the mosque was filled and all those brothers took part in my son's funeral.Alhamdhulillah..!!
But the only thing was hurts me is that i have not seen even my baby's face once.I lived with him for almost 9months to see its beautiful face.But allah,the almighty took him for for some goodness,I beleive him strongly.I pray that he should give me a healthy and long-living child in future soon.Keep me in our duas..!


Wasalam.
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Faatin
03-22-2011, 05:28 AM
Walaikum-As-Salaam sis ♥. Welcome to IslamicBoard it's a wonderful place. I am sorry for your loss sis, you are a strong and faithful person for acknowledging that Allah took him for some goodness. He is the all knowing. Your beautiful baby will be in heaven =). I will surely keep you in my duas, and will pray that you are given a healthy child.
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ashabanu05
03-22-2011, 05:56 AM
Thanks a lot Faatin..Ur word makes my heart feel lighter..;-)
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ashabanu05
03-22-2011, 06:54 AM
Salam
I come accrossed a phrase,which i wanted to share with you all...I wish we all follow the same..


Learn...:beard:
Patience from Asiyah..
Loyalty from Khadijah..
Purity from Mariyam..
Sincerity from Aishah..
Steadfastness from Fatimah..

Wasalam
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Beblessed
03-22-2011, 06:56 AM
walaikum salaam

ina lilahi wa ina ilahi rajoon, I feel how much in pain you are dear sister, may Allaah give you lots of patience, inshallah your reward will be in the next life

In the Qur’an, in Surah Baqarah (2: 155), Allah States unequivocally that He will test us:
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,

I wonder why you didnt have the chance to see your beautiful baby?
may Allaah give you good health and pious children, ameen

WELCOME TO IB, Have a nice stay!
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Zuzubu
03-22-2011, 07:09 AM
W/salam

welcome aunty. =)

Next time insha'Allah. ;)
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ashabanu05
03-22-2011, 07:49 AM
Thanks a lot khadija sis...I was given Anesthesia,and the Dr. said they have shown me the baby once born but i really dont remember it since i was out of concious state..
But anyways waiting with patience for the forecoming happenings.;-)
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selsebil
03-22-2011, 08:48 AM
Assalaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Welcome to the forum sis.Hope you'd benefit from your stay here.
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PouringRain
03-22-2011, 11:36 AM
Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your loss. May God comfort you.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
03-22-2011, 04:25 PM
Wa'Alaaykum As'salaam Wa Rahmatullaah Wa Barahkaatuh

Inna lillaahi wa innah ilaayhi raji'oon.

Subhaan'Allaah, that is really sad to hear sis, may Allaah increase you in goodness and patience and grant you the best in this dunya and akhirah, Ameen

However, i hope that your stay here keeps you happy and also find the forum beneficial towards yourself insha'Allaah
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Flame of Hope
03-22-2011, 05:33 PM
:wa:

Inna lillaahi wa innah ilaayhi raji'oon.

Hearing the loss of your first baby made me feel very sad. :( But alhamdulillah!

Allah is Al Karim and like you said, there's good in it. May you bear your loss with patience. May Allah admit you to Jannat al Firdaws.

format_quote Originally Posted by ashabanu05
Learn...:beard:
Patience from Asiyah..
Loyalty from Khadijah..
Purity from Mariyam..
Sincerity from Aishah..
Steadfastness from Fatimah..

Wasalam
This is very interesting, sister. These are great virtues of 5 pious women. I will try to follow this the best I can! Thanks for sharing!!

And oh! Welcome to the forum, sis! Enjoy your stay! I know I am. I'm relatively new here myself. :D
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tigerkhan
03-23-2011, 07:25 AM
Allah SWT give u reward for this patience. and welcom to the forum.
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Ramadhan
03-23-2011, 10:19 AM
:wa:

Welcome to the forum!

May your stay be beneficial and enjoyable and May Allah shower you with much blessings.
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Ummu Sufyaan
03-23-2011, 10:38 AM
:sl:
welcome to the forum, may allah make things easy for you.
ask if anyone took a photo of you baby?
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Endymion
03-23-2011, 11:38 AM
:wa: My dearest Sister and :welcome: to the humble forum.

Im really sad and feeling sorry for your baby "Muhammad Arshad".Such a cute name and i know your baby is now one of the most beautiful flowers of Heaven inshallah and you will meet him on the day of judgment.May Allah swt lighter your pain,console you in the best way and He SWT is the most Merciful.May He SWT bless you with health,happiness and a healthy family with lovely and obedient kids and bless you with success in both Dunyah and Aakhirah.Amen.

I will keep you in my doaa and i strongly believe that Allah SWT will bless you with someone better soon.

Take care :statisfie
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ashabanu05
03-24-2011, 01:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan
:sl:
welcome to the forum, may allah make things easy for you.
ask if anyone took a photo of you baby?
No,my husband didnt allow anyone to take photo of my baby as it will affect me badly if i see his face.Since it was Cesarian,Dr. asked me not to weep/cry at all.Really im thankfull to allah,the almighty to give me such a caring husband who stood back of me as a moral support.
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tigerkhan
03-24-2011, 01:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
No,my husband didnt allow anyone to take photo of my baby as it will affect me badly if i see his face.Since it was Cesarian,Dr. asked me not to weep/cry at all.Really im thankfull to allah,the almighty to give me such a caring husband who stood back of me as a moral support.
thats good sister. Photos are not allowed. and surely if u have this photo, ur this wound heal with difficulty and makes u impatient as u see the photo. Allah SWT give u more strength in eman and award u from nice cute and practicing children...
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ashabanu05
03-24-2011, 01:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Endymion
:wa: My dearest Sister and :welcome: to the humble forum.

Im really sad and feeling sorry for your baby "Muhammad Arshad".Such a cute name and i know your baby is now one of the most beautiful flowers of Heaven inshallah and you will meet him on the day of judgment.May Allah swt lighter your pain,console you in the best way and He SWT is the most Merciful.May He SWT bless you with health,happiness and a healthy family with lovely and obedient kids and bless you with success in both Dunyah and Aakhirah.Amen.

I will keep you in my doaa and i strongly believe that Allah SWT will bless you with someone better soon.

Take care :statisfie

Thankyou sooooo much..Iam really thankful to allah to show me such a many bro's & sis's via this forum,which really makes me feel much more stronger and confident given by you..I sometimes think god has punished me for something which i have commited unknowingly and allah wanted me to carry this baby all way throughout these 9months and give it to him,otherwise he would have shown atleast in any of the scans which i have taken thro' out.But now im happy that my baby is in heaven staying happily.Love you 'Muhamed Arshad'...
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S.Belle
03-24-2011, 04:44 PM
welcome to the forum hope u enjoy it here Sis


Inna lillaahi wa innah ilaayhi raji'oon

May Allah Bless you
Reply

Endymion
03-25-2011, 11:06 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ashabanu05
Thankyou sooooo much..Iam really thankful to allah to show me such a many bro's & sis's via this forum,which really makes me feel much more stronger and confident given by you..I sometimes think god has punished me for something which i have commited unknowingly and allah wanted me to carry this baby all way throughout these 9months and give it to him,otherwise he would have shown atleast in any of the scans which i have taken thro' out.But now im happy that my baby is in heaven staying happily.Love you 'Muhamed Arshad'...
We are also happy to have another loving and sweet sister among us,my dearest :statisfie
For no doubt this is Allah swt who show us the right path,who bless us with the company of Noble people.His Mercy is beyond our thoughts sis :statisfie Sometimes,when we are in extreme pain,we start thinking like Allah SWT punish us for something.At these moments,i always think of this Ayah of Surah Al-Ftir.The Originator of Creation.

035.045 If God were to punish men according to what they deserve. He would not leave on the back of the (earth) a single living creature: but He gives them respite for a stated Term: when their Term expires, verily God has in His sight all His Servants.
He SWT is enough to punish us all but his Mercy is even more greater than his Anger,Subhanallah.So,never think that the sad things happened in your life are a result of any of your sin.This is life and life is about Pain and sorrows and happiness and joys.Death is a reality and we all will die one day,not even the most beloved Prophets of Allah SWT stay alive.You have Muhammad Arshad,Muhammad SAW had Tahir,Qasim and Ibraheem RA.All three noble sons of Muhammad SAW died in young ages.
I know,there are no words enough to console a Mother who lost her son but as a Muslim,i believe that Allah SWT have someone better for you,Inshallah.
May He SWT bless you with what ever you want in life and what is good for you.May the Blessings and Mercy of Allah SWT be with you always and never a grief or sorrow come near to you.
Take care my dearest Sister :statisfie
I love you for the sake of Allah SWT :statisfie
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ashabanu05
03-26-2011, 02:41 AM
[QUOTE=Endymion;1423212]He SWT is enough to punish us all but his Mercy is even more greater than his Anger,Subhanallah.So,never think that the sad things happened in your life are a result of any of your sin.This is life and life is about Pain and sorrows and happiness and joys.Death is a reality and we all will die one day,not even the most beloved Prophets of Allah SWT stay alive.You have Muhammad Arshad,Muhammad SAW had Tahir,Qasim and Ibraheem RA.All three noble sons of Muhammad SAW died in young ages.
I know,there are no words enough to console a Mother who lost her son but as a Muslim,i believe that Allah SWT have someone better for you,Inshallah.
May He SWT bless you with what ever you want in life and what is good for you.May the Blessings and Mercy of Allah SWT be with you always and never a grief or sorrow come near to you.

Thankyou once again...Yes you are right,Allah SWT mercy is very much greater than his anger and we cannot question him anytime,Allahu Akbar!Many say "Allah SWT test only his beloved by giving sorrows"Is that true?IS that written in Quran? When i get memories of my son "Muhammed Arshad" is there any dua which i should read in sake of Allah SWT.If yes,can you share with me.

Wasalam
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Endymion
03-26-2011, 02:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ashabanu05

Thankyou once again...Yes you are right,Allah SWT mercy is very much greater than his anger and we cannot question him anytime,Allahu Akbar!Many say "Allah SWT test only his beloved by giving sorrows"Is that true?IS that written in Quran? When i get memories of my son "Muhammed Arshad" is there any dua which i should read in sake of Allah SWT.If yes,can you share with me.

Wasalam
No need to thank me,my dearest sister,we are here to help and learn from each other :statisfie Just keep me in your doaa :statisfie

Talking about your question,yes,Allah swt stated in the Holy Quran that He put the believers in Test and those who are true believers,show patience and ask his mercy through Salat.

Surah Al-Baqarah.

002.155 Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,

002.156 Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To God we belong, and to Him is our return":-

002.157 They are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.
About what to read for your son,i dont think you need to offer any special prayer for him as he was like an Angel,free of sins but to remember your angel in a good way,here is the answer for you from Islam Q&A.

Q)What can benefit the deceased after his death? Can he hear what the living say?
My father passed away about two weeks ago. I wanted to know when me or my family members go to his grave, is he able to hear us and what we are saying to him?
... and if not is their any way we can have him hear what we say?..
Please respond promptly because I really want to now because I think maybe it will help me with the pain i'm dealing with.

A)Praise be to Allaah.

The principle is that the dead do not hear the words of the living, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… but you cannot hear those who are in graves." [Faatir 35:22] and

"Verily, you cannot make the dead to hear…" [al-Naml 27:80]

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the slain kuffaar (disbelievers) after the Battle of Badr, Allaah caused them to hear his words, although they were at the bottom of the well in which they had been buried. This was a special case, as the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them, have stated. (See Al-Aayaat al-Bayyinaat fi ‘adam Samaa’ al-Amwaat).

Perhaps the psychological motive for your wishing that you father could hear you is an attempt to do something to re-establish the communication that has been cut, in order to alleviate the pain you are feeling. But you should understand, my sister, that Islam has explained what actions on the part of the living may benefit the dead, and what may reach them in their graves. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)

The most important thing that will benefit your father after his death, and that you can do for him now that he is in his grave, is to strive to pray for him and ask for forgiveness and mercy for him, and for Paradise and salvation from the Fire, and other good and beautiful du’aa’s (prayers).
Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)

Another thing that may reach the deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My mother has passed away, and if she could have spoken, she would have given something in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give something on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)

Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) died when he was away from her. He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died and I am away from her. Will it benefit her anything if I give in charity on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then I ask you to be my witness that I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called because it bore so many dates) in charity on her behalf." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 2756)

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My father has died and left money behind. He did not make a wasiyyah (a will); will it expiate for his sins if I give some of it in charity on his behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)

Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: "I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’" (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.

‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’" (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)

This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased.

Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?" She said, "Yes." He said, "Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled." (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)

Another thing that may benefit the deceased is if his relative devotes a share to him of a sacrifice he offers. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) offered a sacrifice, he said: "In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, on behalf of Muhammad and the family of Muhammad" (reported by Muslim, no. 1967) – and the family of Muhammad included both the living and the dead.
The question of whether women may visit graves has already been addressed (please see question# 127 )

You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased, than thinking about whether he can hear your voice. So try to do whatever will be of benefit both to him and you. You and your family should avoid forbidden innovations (bid’ah) such as marking the fortieth day after death, or the passing of one year since the death, or gatherings for reciting al-Faatihah (the first chapter or soorah of the Qur’aan), doing forbidden acts at graves, and so on, deeds which are done by those who are ignorant and are imitated by others.

I ask Allaah to forgive your father and have mercy on him and on all the deceased Muslims, for He is the Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

And in Prophet Muhammad SAW words to console a mother.
To Allaah belongs whatever He takes and whatever He gives. Everything has an appointed time with Him. Have patience and hope of a reward from Him.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 6829). May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

May Allah SWT bless you from all harms and bless you with the best.Amen.
Love you fisabililla.
Take care :statisfie
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