Muslim Marriages - Failure or Success

[Muhammad Aseem]

Assalam o alaikum all,

I've got an assignment to complete - whether muslims marriages (Arranged) in the modern society are a success or failure - I have to corroborate this with real world data.

It would be great if you could help me out.

Let me know if your had an arranged marriage or love marriage and whether it is successful for you.

If you are still single, what's the biggest reason for that? (lack of proposals, not looking to get married, lack of finances, not old enough, too old... whatever, let me know please)

Thanks.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
i dont have much to contribute, but the first thing i think you should do is define "arranged." is it the same as force? give an explanation.

[Cabdullahi]

too young to understand marriage...too poor to satisfy a woman

[noorseeker]

Not enough paper with Queens head on. lol

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[Muhammad Aseem]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
i dont have much to contribute, but the first thing i think you should do is define "arranged." is it the same as force? give an explanation.

Arranged isn't necessarily by force - more 'getting married to someone who your parents found for you' or ' who you do no't already know' . So it could be some one you've spoken to only once or twice and because it is a 'good proposal' you end up marrying them because your parents say this is the best option so to speak.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

I see. and "Love marriage" would be opposite to that?

you said that this survey is for an assignment, but i think you should give more options, such as good proposals have not come, complications with families (such as bizarre in-laws to be), not an understanding family (your own family not taking account of what you want).

[Muhammad Aseem]

Thank you for the excellent suggestions - I had not thought about those.

Now, how do I edit the poll to add additional options.

[Cabdullahi]

Arranged marriage is love marriage but just a bit quicker

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Thank you for the excellent suggestions - I had not thought about those.

also, you should define what failure and success mean because alot of people from alot of different cultures and mindsets will define this differently and this will probably affect the accuracy your results

Now, how do I edit the poll to add additional options.

i think you can ask a mod/admin to fic it up.

[Muhammad Aseem]

also, you should define what failure and success mean because alot of people from alot of different cultures and mindsets will define this differently and this will probably affect the accuracy your results

Failure or success is dependent on the person answering - this is a subjective answer based on the person in the situation. So this cannot be strictly defined.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

[Muhammad Aseem]

Thanks everyone who posted this in...

Cheers

[CosmicPathos]

a failed marriage is actually a successful marriage, successful because a man was perhaps able to eventually figure out that he cant live with some specific woman, or vice versa of course.

[Asiyah3]

a failed marriage is actually a successful marriage, successful because a man was perhaps able to eventually figure out that he cant live with some specific woman, or vice versa of course.

Divorce is a good thing in some cases, but that doesn't make the marriage successful. If the wife or husband were bad or they didn't get along for some reason, the marriage was not successful, but the divorce was right, insha'Allah.

[Jalal~]

lol, who voted lack of proposals? In Islam, both the male and the female can propose. That person should be listed under "waiting for the right person".

[Futuwwa]

a failed marriage is actually a successful marriage, successful because a man was perhaps able to eventually figure out that he cant live with some specific woman, or vice versa of course.

In which case he should not have married her in the first place. Divorce in that case would be an act of damage control, not success.

[Predator]

There is no difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages . They are pretty much the same

[ardianto]

lol, who voted lack of proposals? In Islam, both the male and the female can propose. That person should be listed under "waiting for the right person".

I never heard prohibition in Islam for female to propose marriage, But bro, in many cultures if a woman propose marriage it's considered as inappropriate. What a woman can do is 'send a sign' that she wait for proposal.

I chose the girl who now becomes my wife was because I saw her 'sign'. I knew it because I was close with her family, and she was close with my family too, especially with my mother. She was my classmate in highschool.

Actually, my wife was not the first girl I wanted to marry. There was another girl who later changed her mind and then married a guy with same background. I chose this first girl because I saw her 'sign' too.

Frankly, I chose only the girls who 'sent a sign' because I didn't want to rejected. :D

[Muhaba]

what' this thread doing in the advice section. might be better to put it in some other section such as family.

now what was this thread asking again?

[Muhaba]

Assalam o alaikum all,

I've got an assignment to complete - whether muslims marriages (Arranged) in the modern society are a success or failure - I have to corroborate this with real world data.

It would be great if you could help me out.

Let me know if your had an arranged marriage or love marriage and whether it is successful for you.

If you are still single, what's the biggest reason for that? (lack of proposals, not looking to get married, lack of finances, not old enough, too old... whatever, let me know please)

Thanks.

lots of ppl whose marriages fail do so because the the married couple (and / or their familes) don't know or respect each individual's rights. everyone is more focused on their own wishes and so other people's needs are nelected.

other ppl's marriages fail or are unhappy marriages becuase the couple isn't compatible.

[strivingobserver98]

Apparently I'm too young. But still going to try and convince everyone, make dua guys :).

[T L]

lol women CAN propose. Khadija RA proposed to the prophet (pbuh).
A marriage has more chance of success if the families stop interfering and setting expectations. Expectation will always lead to failure.

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Assalam o alaikum all,

I've got an assignment to complete - whether muslims marriages (Arranged) in the modern society are a success or failure - I have to corroborate this with real world data.

It would be great if you could help me out.

Let me know if your had an arranged marriage or love marriage and whether it is successful for you.

If you are still single, what's the biggest reason for that? (lack of proposals, not looking to get married, lack of finances, not old enough, too old... whatever, let me know please)

Thanks.

Oh Farhan, you bumped it!
Back then, when this thread was posted, i was single and I voted 'lack of finances'. But now that i am married (arranged) I would say mine is a failure. :exhausted

[keiv]

There is no difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages . They are pretty much the same

Forced marriage would be getting married to someone you may or may not know against your will.

Arranged marriage would be getting married to someone you may or may not know when you seek to get married.

Two different things if you ask me


I vote for this option:

I like being alone 1 2.94%

[Kori Harpoon]

There are time where the man or woman is forced to seek out marriage. Now it could be outside forces like family or he or she could be forcing themselves. I think if a man loves a woman, or a man and a man or a woman and a woman, no matter what it ,shouldn't be forced in any way. For the marriage to happen or not.