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Amat Allah
03-26-2011, 02:42 AM
Gossip & Backbiting


How To Stop Gossip


If any of us hear gossip about one of our sisters, we are enjoined to oppose it,
and correct the speaker- gently, politely, and with wisdom.
This is in accordance with the various ways of changing a bad deed which were described

by the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings be upon him):

"Whoever of you sees an evil deed should change it with her hand [by acting],
or if she cannot do that, then with her tongue [by speaking out],
or if she cannot do that, then with her heart - and that is the weakest of faith."


[Muslim]

We should try to do to the best of our ability. The least of these is opposing the wrong deed in our hearts,
which in this case should make us leave the gathering where the gossip is taking place.

Let us think about the words of Allah:

"When you see men engaged in vain discourse about Our Signs, turn away from them unless they turn to a different theme.
If Satan ever makes you forget, then after recollection, do not sit in the company of those who do wrong."


[Noble Quran 6:68]


Let those who relish gossip beware! The Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings be upon him) ordered those who hear gossip to reject it,
but they are accepting it with pleasure! Woe to you! Are you not thinking about where you will end up?
It is as if you think you were created only for fooling about and committing sins! For your Lord's sake tell me: are you Muslims?!


The Varying Forms of Wrongful Backbiting

Some sisters will backbite in accordance to her gathering and her companions and her associates.
Whilst her knowing that the one being backbitten is free of what it is they say - or of some of what they say.

However; she sees that if she were to forbid them then the sitting will cease and the people of the sitting
would become sullen with her just as they would become estranged from her.
So she sees compliance with them through good social relations as well as good companionship;
so when they become angered then she likewise becomes angry due to their being angered - so she takes it up with them.

Then there are those that take backbiting out into many forms. So at times it would be in the form of religion and rectification, so she will say:
"I am not in the habit of mentioning anyone except in good; and I neither like backbiting nor lies.

However I shall inform you of her affairs." So she will say: "By Allah - she is Miskeenah (weak/pitied) - or she is a good woman;
however she has in her such and such." Or she may say: "let us leave off her; may Allah forgive her and us.

" Whilst her intent is to belittle her as well as causing a wrong to her flank.
Thus taking the backbiting out from the form of rectification and religion.
They seek to deceive Allah with that just as they deceive the creation.
For we have seen this and it’s like from them in many varying colors.

Then there are those that will elevate other than herself out of showing off - so as to promote themselves. So, for instance, she will say:
"If I had supplicated for so and so last night in my prayer; then there would have reached me from her such and such."
So as to raise herself whilst putting down the other person.
Or she may say: "so and so is dull in intelligence and has little understanding."
So her intent is to praise herself and demonstrate that she is better than the other person.

Likewise from them are those that are carried by envy upon backbiting; and so will gather between two ugly affairs:
backbiting as well as envy. So when an individual is praised, she will try to remove that from them through revealing their deficiencies
by making corrections in their religion - or in the form of envy and immorality and dispraise -
in order to remove the praise from them.

Then there are those that take backbiting out into the form of mockery and play;
in order to bring laughter to other than herself through her joking and her mimicry and her belittling of the one she is joking about.


Then there are those that take backbiting out into the form of amazement; so she will say:
"I am amazed at so and so at how she does not do such and such?!
And from so and so as to how she fell into such and such; and how she did such and such.
" Thus pronouncing her name during the course of her amazement.

There are those from them that show sorrow; so she will say:

"so and so is weak/pitied, it has caused me sorrow for what has happened to her and what the outcome was for her."
So someone who hears her thinks that she has sorrow for the individual
and that she is regretful and that her heart is covered in the attainment of recovery for them.
She may also mention them in front of their enemies so that they may profit from it.
So this; and other than it is from amongst the greatest of the sicknesses of the heart as well as deceitfulness to Allah and His creation.

From them are those that make apparent backbiting through the form of anger and disapproving something abominable.
So there becomes manifest in this aspect certain things from the adornment of speech which contains fallacies.
Whilst her intent was other than what she made apparent. And Allah's aid is sought.

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

So, from now on lets try our best to guard our tongues and whoever wants to talk about people in others presence

please bite your tongue and remember Allah instead of eating the flesh of people
and with all my respect and humility; I am asking you by Allah and for the sake of Allah;

whenever anyone opens his/her my mouth to talk about others just stop them and don`t listen never...


May Allah help us all to guard our tongues from all evil Ameeeeeeen


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Ğħαrєєвαħ
03-26-2011, 05:33 PM
Jazakallaahu Khaair

A good reminder. May Allaah help us to stay away from such actions and situations Ameen
Reply

GuestFellow
03-26-2011, 11:19 PM
:sl:

Excellent reminder. Gossiping and backbiting is a disgusting.
Reply

Ghazalah
03-26-2011, 11:22 PM
Originally Posted by Guestfellow
is a disgusting
Act? :p

Indeed guarding ones tongue is a skill achieved by only a few.
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GuestFellow
03-26-2011, 11:44 PM
Originally Posted by Ghazalah
Act? :p
Yes. :p:

I did that on purpose.
Reply

Salafi1407
03-27-2011, 01:24 AM
It is absolutely filthy. And unfortunately a lot of us cannot go 2 conversations without talking about other people. It is very very dangerous and this is an excellent reminder. Jazakallah!!

Riba is a well known major major sin. There are 72 levels of sin that comes with Riba. The one at the very bottom is equivalent to that of committing zina with your own mum. And the one at the very top is equivalent to that of ghibah (backbiting).

Very very dangerous.....
Reply

Amat Allah
03-27-2011, 03:13 AM
wa Iyakum and May Allah love you all and help ya to worship Him right and be His true righteous and pious slaves and servants Ameeeen
Reply

Flame of Hope
03-27-2011, 04:48 AM
Jazakallah khair sister for a very useful and beneficial reminder.

I think we can replace the urge if we ever have one to gossip or backbite with words of appreciation and thankfulness instead. It might be a good exercise when one is tempted to speak ill of someone to instead think about something one appreciates and is thankful for. That way, one turns a potential evil deed into a good deed.
Reply

GuestFellow
03-27-2011, 10:51 AM
:sl:

Muslims BEWARE OF BACKBITING AND GOSSIP!

^ This video sends a very clear message.

There is music in the video...
Reply

elina
03-27-2011, 11:19 AM
I really hate gossip and backbiting.... my nana always taught me from being young that if you have nothing good to say about a person then keep it to yourself and dont say it :)
Reply

Amat Allah
03-27-2011, 12:45 PM


Wa Iyaki My dear sweetie Flame Ameeen ^^

That might be a good an Idea especially when you want to make up between two and start saying: So and so is a good person , she loves you and wish you happiness...etc but I preffer not to talk about others in any how because you don`t know when the satan opens the door of fitnah so, it is better to lock all the doors from the begining...the person with you and who listens to you might disagree with you and start backbiting and telling things which should never be said about the others so, its better to be silent or make our tongue busy with Athiker... and some people when you tell them, stop backbiting they say: we are not, we are just talking...(what a joke)...

if you would tell about a story without mentioning names just to remind others then its fine but if that story would hurt someone else or make him/her upset then its better to save it for our selves, for each word we say is written and we will be held for account before Allah in the Day of Judgement...

I hate women gathering, they always talk about others and peel them like the banana, when I sit with them I try my best saying: leave people alone, we don`t need their sins, stop eating their flesh and just eat what has been served for ya...but to whom you are talking but to walls...May Allah guide us all Ameeeeeeeen

when hearing someone talking about others:

_ first we should never wait till the story ends and everything is exposed.
_ second we sould remind others in a polite and kind way then try to change the topic and talk about something else which would please Allah.
_third we should leave that gathering if they refused to stop or change the topic.
_and finaly we should always pray to Allah to not make us like them, to thank Him for reminding us,
to pray to Allah to guide us and them and never make us see our selves better than others but help us to be the best ever Ameeeen

Wa Alikum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh my respected and noble brother Guestfellow ,
Jazaka Allahu khayran for the vid Ameeeeen indeed it is a clear messsage May Allah help us to understand it and act upon it Ameeen
but would you please write above it that it has a bit of music so, others should click on mute before watching it...

May Allah love you always and forever Ameeen

WaAllahi we are like bloody beasts when we talk about others May Allah guide us and help us to make our tongues busy with His rememberance Ameeeen

we should try our best to remind ourselves and say Istighfaar whenever thinking of talking about others and seeking Allah`s refuge from satan...Aaoothobellah minh...

my dear elina Jazaki Allahu khayran Ameeeeen your precious nana is right and that what the prophet Muhammad (peace and blesings of Allah be upon him) taught us:" to say good or better to keep silence"...

May Allah love you all and be pleased with you Ameeeeeeen

I swear by The One Who has my soul in His Hand that I love you all my precious and dear brothers and sisters for Allah`s sake deeply and in shaa Allah always and forever...

take care of your precious selves ...

Humbly, your sister:

Amat Allah.

Reply

Ğħαrєєвαħ
03-27-2011, 02:30 PM
^Jazakallaahu Khaair


It is sad if you tell someone to stop, they will say something like we are just talking about them or simply bring some lame excuse.

But imagine if someone was to talk about the same person, and they discovered they were being 'talked' about negatively, it would certainly make them feel sad, or some would continue in the cause of 'revenge'. I am not sure if i make sense, but insha'Allaah i do. My point was that if we dont like it when we are talked about negatively, we should try firstly refrain from it ourselves and Ask Allaah to guide those who cause such sadness between the hearts of each other. It is no doubt a great sin and we must remember Allaah and fear him as he also is severe in punishment for those who continue to cause destruction.

may Allaah increase us all in knowledge and goodness, so that we may respect each other and love each other Ameen
Reply

Sawdah
03-27-2011, 02:34 PM
^Ameen

JazakiAllah Khair for the share ukhti.
Reply

Amat Allah
03-28-2011, 02:24 AM
Wa Iyakum my sweeties ^^ Ameeeeeeen

yes, we should do it first before advicing others to be honest and sincere and backbiting cause nothing but troubles and fills the hearts with hatred....May Allah save us all Ameeeeeeeeen
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
03-28-2011, 04:14 AM
:sl:
So is it only women that backbite :(....good reminder otherwise, jazakillahu khair for sharing.
Reply

Amat Allah
03-28-2011, 04:35 AM
^^ no habibati, also some men have big mouths not only women...

watch this and listen:

Reply

Amat Allah
07-18-2011, 12:27 PM
Warning Against Backbiting
And Tale-Carrying

Sheikh Ibn Al-Uthaymeen

Praise be to Allah, who united the believers in a bond of brotherhood, exhorting them on cooperation, goodness, righteousness and mutual respect as regards one's property and honor. As it was put by the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him), property, honor, and life are all to be held sacred among Muslims. I testify that none worthy to be worshiped but Allah Alone, with Whom there is no associate. He is the Lord of heaven and earth. I testify that Muhammad is Allah's servant and Chosen Messenger. May Allah bless him, his family, his Companions and those who will follow them, as long as this world exists.

O Muslims! Muslims now suffer two rampant diseases, though immunity from them is easy for those who are protected by Allah. These two diseases are backbiting and tale-bearing. Backbiting (Ghibah) denotes maligning a person, speaking evil about any of his characteristics or his deeds. Many of the counsels of Muslims today are not free from indulgence in backbiting people and criticizing them, despite the fact that those backbiters themselves are not free from faults and blemishes; rather they harm themselves and those who listen to their reports without denouncing them.

O Muslims! Allah presented one who backbites his fellow Muslims in the most repulsive picture, in which he is depicted as eating the flesh of the dead body of one who is backbitten.

O Muslims! Your duty when you hear others backbite your brothers is to be earnest to forbid the backbiter and to defend the honors of Muslims, just as the case when you find a man eating from the flesh of a dead body. Allah the Almighty said what means:

"O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it. But fear Allah: for Allah is Oft Returning, Most Merciful"

[Noble Quran 49:12]

It is likely that a backbiter will be punished on the Day of Resurrection by ordering him to eat from the flesh of the dead bodies of those whom he backbit in the world, who will be presented as dead in front of him. It was narrated in the Hadith relating the story of Mi'raj (Ascent) that:

"The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) passed by people with copper fingernails, with which they scratch their own faces and chests. He asked: "Who are those, Jibril?" It was answered: "Those are the people who eat the flesh of other people and vilify their honor."

The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said in an occasion:

"O you who declared faith with your tongues, but your hearts are not imbued with faith! Do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces and exposes him in his house".


O Muslims! Sometimes when backbiters are advised to give up such bad habit, they plead innocence by stating that they are telling the truth. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) was asked concerning backbiting thus: "Suppose that there are actual faults in the one I am talking about?" The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) replied:

"If what you tell about your brother (in faith) is truth, then you will still be guilty of backbiting, but if what you say concerning him is untruth, you will be guilty of committing falsehood against him".

Thus, the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) explained to his Ummah that backbiting denotes mentioning the real faults of a person. However, the worse evil is to backbite a believer by mentioning faults, which are not in him. Imam Ahmad, as well as the scholars who adopted his school, maintained that backbiting is one of the major sins. This gives a warning to Muslims to stop backbiting others and to be concerned with their own faults. Once a person finds a fault with his brother, he should advice him and guide him to eliminate such fault rather than vilifying him. This is the requisite for establishing a real bond of brotherhood based on faith, and the torch that guides to the way of Islamic methodology.

The other rampant disease is Namimah (tale-bearing, or going about with calumnies), which denotes carrying the statements made against some people and transmitting such statements to those backbitten people, with the aim of spreading corruption and sowing enmity and hatred among people. This kind of Namimah is considered the most grievous of all, and one who is guilty of it is to incur torture in the grave, as well as the torment of the Fire of Hell. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"No talebearer shall ever enter Paradise."

The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) once passed by two graves and said:

"They (The dwellers of these graves) are now being tortured, because of something which was not difficult to resist: One of them neglected cleansing his genitals following urination and the others was given to tale-bearing."

O Muslims! Anyone, to whom a report is carried, telling that someone is vilifying him, should condemn such an act and forbid the tale-carrier from persisting in his sin. He should also take care of such a talebearer for, just as he carries tales of people to him, he most likely carries tales from him to other people. Allah the Almighty says which translates as:

"Heed not the type of despicable man, ready with oaths, a slanderer, going about with calumnies,"

[Noble Quran 68:10-11]

May Allah guide you and I to the best of manners and deeds and keep us away from the bad manners and deeds and guide us to His straightforward path, for He is Most Bounteous, Most Generous. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him), his family and his Companions.



Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com
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