format_quote Originally Posted by
ibrahim316
Jazakallah for the response. I have a good relationship with her. My parents are saying to her not to marry this man as this man is not a nice person but she seems blind to it...To my whole family, it seems like he will use her to gain a passport to the country and then leave her. She has been advised this.
But I have told her I will not be going Umrah without my parents.
as a female, i cannot tell you how much we need for our men-folk to understand and protect us. proper understanding that is, not "you're my cook and cleaner." which it seems like you have a good relationship with her, but im wondering if your sister is in a permissible relationship, what kind of relationship does she have at home with her men-folk? im not saying this is your fault or anything, but none-the-less is there a relationship of "friendship" with you, as her brother. reason being is that if there is no real relationship with the men at home, than this could be a cause of falling easily for ill minded men.
do you talk and joke around with her on a personal level? does she know that you feel gheerah/jealous over her? i mean real gheerah/jealously, not culturally inclined strange ideas about "jealously."
have you explained to her in a genuine brotherly way that you really care for her/her safety and that for this reason you dont want her with this person. does she know the pain you are going through as her brother to see her with this person?
if the evil intents of this person was shown to her, would she listen? i dont mean just telling her that he isnt good for her, but actually
explain to her
why. like for example, he may only tells her that he loves her when she seems to be making a move to get him so logically explanation alike this may help. but dont actually tell her that per se, just gently direct her in that way where it will make her think about it and come to her
own conclusions. so if you mentioned something she would think "hmm yeah that is true come to think of it." im not sure what the best way to go about it is, you know you sister best...so just come up with some kind of plan that she will respond positively to.
also, its a bit late now, but i would have used Umrah as a bargaining chip with her. So you should have told her that you will only go to umrah with her, if she leaves this man.