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anonymous
03-31-2011, 12:08 AM
:sl:
i am 28 years old and want to know why it happend to me why i cant i be a normal person?
my mom died when i was i dont know 4 or 5 my father got married when i was 9 or 10 years old and this happend on this times i had a friend and he was my neighbour is well and one day he told me that we bought a new house and he wanted me and him and his small brother to go there and have a look i said ok we went there and saw the house so then he said i will go and get something to eat him and his brother went i was alone in the house i was on the roof i came down after few minutes and saw his big brother standing there and was not i letting me out he tried to grab me i ran around to escape but the door was locked so i started crying then i dont know what happend he just opened the door and let me go so like these things happend to me few times even my step moms brothers tryed to do this to me but nothing happend they didnt rape me anything like that but just like 2 of them grabed me and said we gona rape u and started acting like rapping me while both of them one holding my legs the other my hands i was a kid i couldnt defend my self but to scream and cry and it happend like that allot to me till i was 16 but know i am 28 and it still Still Haunts Me in my daily life i have no friends i like to be alone and feel well when i am alone but when around people or if i go some were i get dizzy and lost if i eat something it chokes me ,,i just sit there i dont say a word the truth i dont know what to say no one likes me bcoz i am not fun to be around i know it please dont say its not true bcoz it is i can feel if something is wrong so thats how i know,, i made friends but all of them was making fun of me in different ways that is why i dont go any were i go to work come back home start up my laptop and go around the world in cyber world,i said that bcoz i dont like to sit with my dad and step mom or her son and daughter we are 2 brothers from same mother the rest is from step mom father hasnt been good to me either when he married the second time after my real mom died he was doing what ever she told him on small things like she well tell him i had a fight with my uncles son and then he was beating me like a dog with a radio cable my back was black and blue i live in london and got my visa 7 months ago but before that i did not had a visa so i am still living with my parents why i dont know maybe i dont want any relatives talking bad that i left my parents but i told my cousin to tell my parents to find me a wife and i am ready to get married so he did and they found me a wife and i agreed i will marry her and got engaged is well but the problem is they never told me anything on my engagement day that it is my engagement today i went to work and every 1 saying why r u here its a big day for u i was thinking whats going on then one of them said its ur engagement today and ur hereimsad i got upset and said nothing kept silent and second even if they have told me i would have embarrassed my self infront of every 1 as i said i get dizzy and my face and ears get red i loose control over me its like when people are drunk so i dont know what i am gona do in my wedding day, i worked and worked gave all my money to my father know he says he does not have any money and was asking money from me but i tought i gave him enough my step mom keep saying i shouldnt have got u engaged lots of other things but not infront of me when i am at home in my room then she says that ,she tryed to hit me few years ago when i did not had a visa and spited on me saying get out of my house other wise i will call the police and tell them u dont have a visa and then she called my dad saying i am beating her but i wasnt i think i made a big big mistake by telling them to find a bride i tought allot about commiting suicide then i got a little bit better know i start to feel the same .the real problem is hate my people ex relatives and i cant be a normal person i see every 1 laughin enjoying the life i dont i cant,
i can laugh but it will be a fake on i am sooooooooo tired i hate this world i saw thing when u see in people u will burn this whole world down

Q:SHOULD I LEAVE MY PARENTS HOUSE AND GET MY OWN PLACE? if i do that i think i will be happier
Q:CAN I CANCEL THE ENGAGEMENT WITH OUT HURTING ANY 1?
Q:CAN I BE A GOOD HUSBAND AND GIVE ALL MY LOVE TO MY FIANCE?
Q:CAN I COMMIT SUICIDE BEFORE MARRIAGE OR AFTER ? WHICH ONE IS A NOT A SIN
Q:CAN I KILL OR DO SOMETHING BAD TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO ME? MEANING TRY TO RAPE ME

FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH HELP ME I DONT KNOW ANYMORE WHAT TO DO I JUST WANT TO ERASE EVERYTHING OF MY HEAD AND REMEMBER NOTHING BUT IT ISNT HAPPENING IS THERE A WAY TO MY PROBLEMS SO I CAN FIT IN THE COMMUNITY AND NOT GET DIZZY AND SHY NOT EMBARRASSING MY SELF ,,

THERE ARE MORE PROBLEMS BUT I CANT RIGHT ALL DOWN AND SORRY FOR ALL THIS CRAP I TOLD U BUT I REALLY NEED HELP I HOPE U IUNDERSTAND ME:exhausted
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
03-31-2011, 01:51 PM
Assalaamu Alaaykum

I am really sorry to hear about your situation, but do not give up.

What you wrote was definetly not crap, your intention was to ask for help so you did, so please do not feel bad about it. I will try answer your questions one by one insha'Allaah.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Q:SHOULD I LEAVE MY PARENTS HOUSE AND GET MY OWN PLACE? if i do that i think i will be happier
I believe you should get your own place if thats what makes you happy, but do not disown your parents, continue to show them respect no matter what the situation may be. So if you find it difficult to deal with them, ask Allaah to help you to make it easy for you. Remember him and cry to him. He listens.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Q:CAN I CANCEL THE ENGAGEMENT WITH OUT HURTING ANY 1?
Brother, it is your life and your happiness. If you do not wish to marry the women who you are engaged to, then you dont have to. It is your right to say no Islamically if you do not wish to go ahead. If you are not satisfied with this women, insha'Allaah try find someone who is your type.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Q:CAN I BE A GOOD HUSBAND AND GIVE ALL MY LOVE TO MY FIANCE?
You can once she is your wife, when you are married, you can give all your love to her.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Q:CAN I COMMIT SUICIDE BEFORE MARRIAGE OR AFTER ? WHICH ONE IS A NOT A SIN
No you cannot commit suicide. Reason is if you do, you will be in more pain if you kill yourself. It is a sin to commit suicide. You are the creation of Allaah, Allaah only takes your life not you.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Q:CAN I KILL OR DO SOMETHING BAD TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO ME? MEANING TRY TO RAPE ME
No you cant do anything bad to those people who did bad to you as it just makes things worse, and it is known as revenge, revenge isnt part of Islaam. But when someone tries to attack you, you have the right to defend yourself in the cause of defending yourself or those around you.

My advice is to perform your daily prayers as its best for you, and more pleasing to your lord, it only benefits you. To trust in Allaah and ask him to help you, meaning complain to Allaah only. Recite the Qur'aan, read about the stories of the prophets, they were lessons for us to learn from, you will find ease when you read about there stories.

Only think good and not bad for someone, ask Allaah to guide your parents to do whats right for them and their children. And do not give up, if you give up, then your a loser, in this life and the hereafter, because you will only be in more pain,depression of you give up in this. Think of this as a test from Allaah. Oh and Allaah cares, do not lose hope in Allaah.

You are in my Du'aas, may Allaah swt ease your situation brother, Ameen

Watch this short video, insha'Allaah it really does help

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anonymous
03-31-2011, 02:34 PM
thanks brother i do pray but not like 5 times a day 3 some times 4 times i do cry sometime ask for help from Allah the thing is i am so lonely i dont have any freinds cant have any if i do find friends they just want to around me when there friends are not around them or they want help from me other then that huh no 1 remembers me and the worst of all is when i am around people i cant control my self my ears and face get red and the only place i was going was my real moms brothers home and i liked it there i grow up in there bcoz i left home when i was 13 had a fight with step mom then when i came to england i lived with my dad so i used to go to there home but know i dont want to go anywere i just wanna be alone how can i be a normal person like every 1 else having a laugh enjoying life i tryed but i cant i dont feel well around people u know i hope u undrstand what i mean
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
03-31-2011, 06:09 PM
Assalaamu Alaaykum

Im a sister :-\

You are welcome

I understand what you mean, there are soo many people in the world who feel like you, so you are not the only one. If you cant find any good friends, you have Allaah. He created you, so rely on him and also if you do find friends, find friends who are good on their deen.

Try to pray all your salaah, and not miss out any, focus in your salaah and then slowly you will be able to perform all your salaah.

dont cry sometimes to Allaah, cry ALL the time to Allaah! You may feel lonely, yet in reality you are not, you have Allaah, increase your love for him Allmighty, whatever you do in your life, say your going to this or that for Allaah and nobody. Please your parents for Allaah sake, if they get angry at you then control your anger with them for Allaahs sake. everything do it for Allaahs sake, he is watching you always.

When i say do everything for Allaah i mean it will also increase you in goodness and it will benefit you in Hereafter.


Im assuming your face and ears go red because you are embarrassed? try to change your relationships with those around you, forgive and forget what happened in the past and try to start a new beginning, because if you keep thinking about it it will just either increase your hate for others or will feel depressed forever.

Being on your own gives you a chance to settle down, is there any Masajid in your area? maybe you can meet brothers there?
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