:sl:
Salam all. Before marriage I had a relationship (of a brother) with a guy...and I know that was wrong...but now people are spreading rumours that I am still in contact with him, etc. and that I have an relationship with him!!! This is how Allah is?!?!?! Everyone says, hadith etc. say that Allah will forgive you AND HIDE YOUR SINS. So why isn't Allah doing that?????!!!!!!! Does he want to just disgrace me, does he want to show me up in front of everyone?!?!?!? ALL MUSLIMS SAY 'oh he is THe forgiver, He's this, He's that' - I say WHERE'S THE PROOF OF THIS BECAUSE HE'S NOT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don't think like that. That's exactly what shaytan wants us to do :
---1) first, you loose your patience and you loose every hope that your duas will be answered and that things will get better.
---2) second, you start loosing your trust in Allah and therefore your iman decreases, so you resort to wrong solutions and don't resort to Allah.
---3) then you direct your anger towards Allah (wal'iyadhu-Billah). And you fall in Kufr. And thus, you loose everything.
My humble advice to you is to just calm down and think properly. Put your depression and your emotions aside for one minute and start thinking with your mind, and find by your own the answers to the following questions :
1) who put you in this condition : is that you who did that to yourself ? is it fair to blame Allah for something you did it to yourself ?
2) who told you that Allah hates you, or doesn't whant to hide your sins ? to undergo the direct consequences of our deeds doesn't necessarily mean that Allah is exposing our sins. Example : if someone intentionally get himself drunk, and then he got troubles about that : that's the consequences of his deeds, it doesn't mean Allah wants to expose his sins.
3) If some people unfairly attack you and spread lies about you, that means that they are sinners and it's their own fault, not yours and not Allah's fault neither. So don't be sad about the wrong things people do, and don't also blame Allah for what other people did to you.
4) didn't you think for one second, that all this hardship you are going through could be a test from Allah and you will be rewarded if you succeed in this test and keep your patience and your iman till the end ? Or it could be a means to clean your sins make you a perfect muslim ? What you'll gain if you loose your temper and start blaming Allah without reason ? Don't you think that the Shaytan is trying to push you and make you fail.
5) did you really resort to Allah ? How many times did you sicerely ask Allah for help without any doubt in your heart that Allah will help you, and Allah didn't ? Have you
completely put your trust in Him, and He let you down ?
So please be patient a little bit more, because when things get really hard and you think there is no way out, that's exactly the perfect time for the coming of Allah's help to you. May be it's really close and you didn't know, so don't loose your chances. Allah says :
[Yusuf : 110]
" حَتَّى إِذَا اسْتَيْئَسَ الرُّسُلُ وَظَنُّوا أَنَّهُمْ قَدْ كُذِبُوا جَاءَهُمْ نَصْرُنَا فَنُجِّيَ مَنْ نَشَاءُ وَلا يُرَدُّ بَأْسُنَا عَنِ الْقَوْمِ الْمُجْرِمِينَ "
" until, when the messengers despaired and were certain that they had been denied, there came to them Our victory, and whoever We willed was saved. And Our punishment cannot be repelled from the people who are criminals. "
And
remember, if you don't fully trust Allah, or you mix your trust with shirk or doubt or impatience, then your duas will not be answered. Allah will wait until you fully resort to Him and put your trust in Him, and then He will help you.
[Hadith] :
“Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 9.502 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet said, “Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I
am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for
him) and I am with him if he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in
himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in
a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than
they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit
nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a
distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes
to Me walking, I go to him running